The Winnowing Season (29 page)

The cold nipped at his skin, and he realized he’d forgotten to put on his coat. He picked up the receiver. “Hello?”

“Jacob?” The woman was very hoarse, but he was sure it was Sandra.

“Yes.”

“Casey’s sick.” Sandra barely got the words out before she burst into a fit of coughing. Leah wasn’t exaggerating when she said the woman sounded half dead. “She’s bad, Jacob. I … I can’t get her fever down. It’s gone over a hundred and three, and she can’t stop coughing. I can barely stand. I … I don’t know what to do.”

Was she asking for his help or his advice? Even though he felt awful hearing Sandra speak, he was desperate for her not to need him to come there.

“Can you get her to a doctor?” It was a stupid question. If she could, she wouldn’t have called.

“Mommy …” Casey choked through the receiver. “Mommy …”

“I’m here, sweetheart. Mommy’s right here.” Sandra burst into another round of coughs. “Jacob, I’m so sorry. Please …”

He had no choice. “I’ll be there as quickly as I can.”

“Thank you.”

Was she crying? Sandra was like Rhoda in that she didn’t cry easily. A trait he appreciated.

Jacob hung up, and then he called Landon, asking if he could get a ride to the closest train station. He couldn’t borrow Landon’s truck. Most stores were
too far to get to by horse and buggy, and if Jacob took Landon’s truck, it would leave the others stranded on the farm. They would ask Erlene, if they had no choice, but right now Landon was keeping Samuel and Nicole supplied with whatever they needed: lumber, wires, and tools.

How would Rhoda take this news?

She was standing next to the door as he reentered the house. “Is everything all right?”

“Sandra’s sick, and so is Casey. They need my help. I won’t be gone long.” If he was doing the right thing to help a child, why did he feel so terrible about it? “You okay with that?”

“Sure. You go and don’t think twice about it.”

He should tell her that he would never be free of Sandra. She deserved to know that. Maybe she did know that. But he couldn’t make himself say it. Whether it was fear, shame, remorse, or all three, he was chained by his own silence.

He went to his room, Rhoda following at his heels. He kept expecting more questions, but she didn’t ask anything else. Her eyes followed him with that piercing gaze only she could give, the kind of look he could feel even when his back was turned to her. If she was okay with him going, why was she studying him? “I need to change.”

She nodded and stepped out of the room. He changed into his Englisch clothes. He needed to look the part if he was going to pass himself off as Casey’s uncle to get her seen by a doctor. Sandra might need treatment too.

He pulled what cash he had out of his top drawer and stuffed it into his wallet, hoping it would be enough. Doctor visits could be expensive. Hospital visits were even more so. As far as he knew, people could pay a small amount up-front and receive the bill later. Did Sandra still have health insurance? Was health insurance trackable?

When he emerged, Rhoda was just outside his door, studying him. What was that look in her eyes? Hurt? Distrust? Sympathy?

Tell her. Tell her everything
.

Why would he consider doing that? She had told him she didn’t want to know more. “I have to go.”

“You’ll be back for Christmas?”

“Absolutely. That’s a week from now. I’m sure she only needs a few days. Six tops, and that’ll put me home on Christmas Eve.”

“Gut. I’ll tell Bob and Camilla we’re both coming Christmas Day. They’re ready to meet you.”

“You make those plans, and I’ll call every day until I’m home again.”

She smiled. “I might not be here
every
day. You’re not the only one with a friend.”

He should’ve agreed to meet Bob and Camilla before now. Who was running his life? Him or Sandra? Drawing a deep breath, he closed his eyes for a moment. “You are the best, Rhodes. You know that?”
But I’ll never be free of my obligations to Sandra
.

For a brief second he almost had the strength to say what he needed to. How often would Sandra need him now that she’d had to leave the small safety net she had with a few friends at her last place?

He pulled her close. “I’m sorry.”

With his leaving he heaped more work onto her and Samuel’s shoulders and would return home with less money to help make ends meet. He lifted her chin and kissed her forehead. “I’ll be back before you know it, and we’ll pick up where we left off.” He mimicked putting a marshmallow on her head.

She pointed a finger at him. “You’d better rethink that plan.”

He lowered his lips to hers and kissed her.

A car horn tooted. Landon had arrived.

“I’ll be back before you have time to miss me.” Jacob went down the stairs and out the door with one question nagging him.

How many times could he go to help Sandra and expect Rhoda to pick up where they’d left off whenever he returned?

TWENTY-SEVEN

Rhoda sat on the living room floor with a cup of hot chocolate in hand. Christmas breakfast had been followed by reading the story of Jesus’s birth from the Bible, hours of relaxed visiting, and the noon feast prepared by Phoebe, Leah, and Rhoda. All that was over hours ago. Now it was time to open presents.

Jacob had missed most of Christmas Day. Would he miss all of it, including going to the Cranfords?

Steven passed a gift to his son, spoke a blessing in High German, and kissed his forehead. He then did the same to his daughter.

Her niece and nephew finally had permission to open their gifts. Polite conversations meandered between the adults—Leah, Samuel, Phoebe, and Steven. Rhoda tried to contribute and hoped no one realized she had almost nothing to say. She wasn’t sure why Jacob still being gone weighed on her this much.

Arie removed the last of the wrapping paper and held up her new doll.
“Guck! Guck!”

Her niece’s voice rang with such excitement as she kept repeating the word
look
. Arie came to her. “Guck.”

“Ich see. Du hab Bobbeli.”

Arie’s little head bobbed up and down in agreement when Rhoda said she saw her baby. The girl cradled her doll, gently caressing her face.

Isaac received two carved horses about six or so inches tall. With one in each hand, he galloped them across the floor.

The differences in how boys and girls thought began at such a young age. She glanced at Samuel and found him studying her.

Arie got between them, patting his leg. “Guck.” She held out the doll to him. She wasn’t going to take no for an answer, so he held it and cradled it
while talking quietly to Arie. Soon Isaac was in Samuel’s face, vying for attention too.

Leah brought Rhoda a gift. “I got your name.”

“Oh.” Rhoda blinked. “Are we ready to exchange gifts among the adults now?”

Leah nodded.

“I wondered who drew my name.” She’d drawn Samuel’s name, and it’d taken her days to figure out the best gift to get, especially with the agreed-upon spending limit of fifty dollars. Rhoda opened the package. “Leah King, when did you find time to make me a new dress and apron and without me knowing?”

“I did it at Erlene’s. She has an electric sewing machine. You can’t imagine how much easier it was to make this dress on it instead of on a treadle machine. She even owns electric scissors. But I don’t know why they call them electric when they’re actually powered by batteries.”

Rhoda stood, holding the dress in front of her. “It’s beautiful. I haven’t had a burgundy dress in forever.” She hugged Leah. “Denki.”

“There’s more in there.”

“Really?” Rhoda shuffled through the tissue paper to discover a black wool bonnet. “Ach, Leah, it’s perfect. How did you—”

“I’m not divulging all my secrets.”

Rhoda put it on her head. It looked very similar to the traditional Amish winter bonnet, but it was quite thick.

Samuel went to the small pile of gifts near the fireplace and grabbed a box about the size of an unsplit log. He passed it to Leah. “I got your name.”

“This better be good.” Leah grinned and sat on the floor, then carefully loosened the edges of the silvery blue paper. “There is no way you wrapped this.”

He shook his head. “Nicole did.”

Nicole
. Rhoda inwardly scoffed, hoping her displeasure didn’t show on her face. Weren’t they getting a little too chummy? What was he thinking?

Rhoda pulled her thoughts to something better. She’d talked to Jacob last night. He’d sounded exhausted, but he had kept her on the phone until past midnight just so he could wish her a
Frehlich Grischtdaag
, a Merry Christmas, in case he didn’t get to come home today. With Casey still quite sick and Sandra being released from the hospital just yesterday, Rhoda doubted Jacob could even get here for a visit today. While they had talked, Casey had slept on Jacob’s chest. Rhoda could hear the little girl coughing, and she woke a couple of times, but Jacob soon had her asleep again.

He’d be such a great Daed when the time came.

With Casey in the picture and Jacob feeling so protective of the little girl, Rhoda understood his need to be there. Still, this wasn’t exactly the Merry Christmas she’d been dreaming of. But she knew herself, and before she crawled into bed tonight, she would have her feet under her and be grateful for such a sweet Christmas.

It would help her disappointments and the adjustment of sharing Jacob if Samuel didn’t hide inside his impenetrable turtle shell. He had told her the night they moved here that if she needed a friend, she had Jacob for that. Although Samuel relaxed sometimes and shared an occasional wisecrack or bit of humor in the mornings, he had apparently meant what he’d said that night. Completely. When Jacob wasn’t around, Samuel would hardly remain in the same room with her. When Jacob was around, the closeness between the two brothers seemed to cause Samuel to be less distant, but only a little less stodgy toward her. Samuel, however, had no problem listening or talking with Nicole. Rhoda didn’t eavesdrop, and she rarely heard what was said, but she saw them talking and laughing nonstop while they worked together.

Why couldn’t he share a little of that with her? It would help both of them cope better inside this small, lonely settlement, wouldn’t it?

She heard a noise and jumped to her feet. She opened the front door and saw a truck going down the road. But there was no sign of Jacob, and it was almost time to go to the Cranfords’ place.

When she turned back, Leah had donned a beautiful black knit scarf and cape. The only gift that remained where the small pile had once been was the one she had gotten for Samuel. Rhoda went to the gift, picked it up, and passed it to him. “It goes without saying—I got your name.”

He took it and ripped the paper with one swipe. “It’s a book of some kind.”

“Probably on manners,” Leah quipped.

“Probably.” Samuel chuckled, but his hands slowed once the lid was off. “It’s two books.” He held one up. “One on organic apple farming.” Even while holding it up, he didn’t take his eyes off the second book. He opened it.

“Well?” Leah asked.

“It’s a parallel Bible.” He ran his hand over the leather cover with gold embossed lettering. “One side is German, and the other is English.” Samuel lifted his eyes to Rhoda’s. “You knew.”

“I’ve heard you mumbling ‘what does that mean’ a few times.”

He’d begun reading his Bible every morning and evening, but the Lutheran text was in High German, a language he had minimal training in.

As if he’d been slapped, the tenderness in his eyes faded and a more familiar, harder look replaced it as he set the Bible aside. “Denki.”

Disappointed that he’d gone into his shell again, she simply nodded. “Gern gschehne.” She didn’t understand. Where had her friendship with Samuel disappeared to? And why?

Rhoda was tired of thinking about the King men. Whether gone physically or emotionally, both of them ruled too many of her thoughts. She gathered her gifts. “Frehlich Grischtdaag.”

A chorus of voices responded with “Merry Christmas.” Samuel glanced her way without speaking before he returned his focus to Isaac.

She headed for the stairs. “I’m going to change into my new clothes and walk over to the Cranfords.”

“I’m not sure the Friendship Bread will be finished baking by then.” Phoebe got up. “I’ll check it.”

Just getting ready to go made Rhoda feel better about today. It wasn’t long before she had the loaf of hot bread in a picnic basket and was heading out the back door. Music filled the air. Was it real? She didn’t think so.

As Rhoda entered the snowy woods, she saw Emma following her. Rhoda cleared her throat and continued on as if she didn’t see or hear anything.

“Merry Christmas, Sister,” Emma whispered.

Rhoda kept moving. Healthy, sane people did not talk to their imaginations.

Something physically tugged on the back of her coat. She turned, expecting a branch to have snagged her, but she saw Emma.

“Don’t go.”

Rhoda’s heart skipped a beat.
Don’t go?
She trudged on, refusing to respond.

“We don’t know them!” Emma yelled.

Goose bumps ran up Rhoda’s arms, and she turned. “They’re good people.” Rhoda cringed at the sound of her own voice. Maybe this is why Samuel kept his distance when Jacob wasn’t around: he thought she was crazy and wanted a buffer between them before he could relax.

Emma studied her. “It’s cold being out here.” She looked around. “And you send me out here more and more, pushing me away.”

Rhoda sighed. “You’re nothing more than a figment of my loss.” She began singing to herself and hurried until she was on Camilla’s porch, knocking on the door. Rhoda glanced to her left.

Emma stood in the snowy yard. “Don’t leave me, Sister.”

“How can I? You follow me everywhere.”

“Rhoda?” Camilla’s voice startled her.

“Oh …” The concern in Camilla’s eyes let Rhoda know she had once again been seen talking to herself. She smiled and held out the bread. “Merry Christmas.”

Camilla peered past Rhoda. “Is Jacob with you?”