The Wish List (21 page)

“I am worried, Faith,” he admitted. “More than you know. And no, damn it, I haven’t forgotten the list. It’s been in my thoughts...constantly. That’s why I’m here, why I’m back when you know darn well I didn’t mean to come here in person and upset Cory again. I’m here because of that list you and Cory made. Because if I remember correctly, I happen to meet the requirements. And I’m here to apply for the position of father—and husband.” His voice was low. He slid his thumb over her lips as he spoke.

Faith couldn’t control her trembling mouth. Nathan was touching her, stroking her.

She tried to step back again, but found she was only inches away from the wall, and Nathan followed her there in a slow waltz.

Swallowing, she shook her head. Only yesterday she’d given up all hope of Nathan ever caring for her. Now he was here, telling her he wanted to be her husband. But...why? Because he regretted hurting her son?

It wouldn’t work. It wasn’t enough. With another man things would be different. But with Nathan—she couldn’t marry Nathan without love. No matter what she’d planned. No matter what the damn list said.

Slowly, Faith slid her hands down to grip her skirt, clenching her fingers in the bright folds. She shook her head again. “I don’t want you here,” she reiterated. “I want you to go. I want you to leave now.”

Nathan reached down and gathered her clenched fists in his own large hands. Gently he stroked, coaxing her fingers to uncurl. “No way, Faith. We’ve played this game before. The day you first came to me.” He slid his thumbs across the sensitive skin of her palms, caressing her flesh, warming her with his own heat.

“And Faith,” he continued on a whisper as he leaned near, bridging the small space that had kept her body separate from his. “I hope you remember the next line. Only this time it’s mine. As you once told me in so many words, I came here tonight for a reason. A simple yes from you is all I need, all I want.”

There was nothing in the world Faith wanted more than to believe that Nathan was offering to marry her because he cared. But she’d seen him step away from her before. She had witnessed his reaction to her naked feelings.

“Nathan, if you’re worried that you’re somehow responsible for us—for Cory and me—I didn’t mean to make you feel that way. That list, please, forget it. You don’t have to be concerned. I don’t
want
you to be concerned. You’re not responsible for us. In any way.”

He moved away then, far enough so that she could see his face clearly and could look into his eyes. He turned her palms up so that her hands rested on his own.

“And what if I want to be responsible for you, Faith?” he demanded, his voice turning harsh. “What if I’ve found that the surgeon with the magical fingers has no magic at all without you?”

She looked away to hide the hope in her eyes because she couldn’t allow herself to believe what she was hearing. She’d heard the same thing from other patients. It was gratitude again, she reminded herself, simply the first pangs of separation.

“That’s just the reaction to trying to find your way again at the hospital,” she whispered, hating the fact that her voice sounded small and scared. “That’s all it is.”

“No, Faith, it’s not.” Nathan slid his hands up her arms, beneath the fall of her hair, as he pressed closer, surrounding her body with his own. “That’s not gratitude. It’s not me finding my way. It’s love, Faith.”

She tried to open her mouth, but he stilled her with a kiss. “Faith please,” he began, “let me say the words. I love you, completely. I realized how much that was true when I saw you yesterday, and I’ve been half out of my mind wondering if I’ve lost you. What’s more, I’m jealous, sweetheart, so damn jealous of every man who comes near you. I’m jealous of that man outside and I have to ask. Have I waited too long? Do you still care for me at all?”

Faith jerked her head up. She opened her mouth, determined to deny that she cared now or had ever cared. If she could only protect herself, keep herself from hurting when he came to his senses—

“Don’t,” he whispered, stopping her words with a touch of his finger to her lips. “Don’t say it. Don’t deny what was between us. I
know
there was something, Faith. I do, because I spent so much damn time trying to run from it. And then yesterday—” Nathan looked at her with such fierce desire that Faith leaned forward involuntarily, swaying against him.

“Yesterday?” she choked out.

Nathan brought her tighter against his hips, slipping his hands up beneath her hair. “Yes—in the hospital—seeing you looking at me like that, with love. And don’t say that you weren’t. We both know that you’re not a liar. In those few seconds, I knew that whatever you felt for me, no matter how powerful, you were going to ignore it. You were going to walk away to protect me from the pain you thought I’d feel. Do you know how much that scared me, sweetheart? It shook me, rocked me, completely. I’d worried so much about not deserving you, about losing you some day because I’d killed any feeling you might have for me. I—just never considered the fact that I could lose you
because
you cared for me.

Faith sighed and raised her eyes to his. He’d found her out. He knew her secrets. There was no hiding this time. But still she pressed her hands to his chest, as though that small defensive gesture could protect her from her own emotions. “I never wanted to care,” she whispered. “Not again and certainly not this strongly. I didn’t want to ever feel something this overpowering, but—” She took a breath and shrugged, nearly managing a watery smile. “What can I say, Nathan? I just don’t seem to have much control over whom I love, or even how much I love, because—heaven help me—I
do
love you. So much, so very much. I’d hoped it didn’t show so clearly.”

Nathan gathered her close. He wiped away the wet path of the tear that trickled down her cheek. “It shows, Faith,” he said, his own voice suddenly thick. “But only to someone who returns that love so completely. I’ve spent the last two days saying goodbye to the past, finally admitting that I didn’t have the power to save my wife and daughter and that I hadn’t really failed them the day of the accident.”

Catching her breath with relief, and knowing that Nathan had taken a step away from his painful past, Faith rested her head against his chest and sagged against him.

“Faith...” Nathan groaned, banding his arms more tightly around her. “Don’t be sad. Because—nearly losing you, knowing you would let me go in order to save me from myself—it made me realize a person can’t hide from the pain. There’s no way. Pain comes with the love. So, don’t walk away from what you feel for me. Please. I love you, completely. And it’s forever, love.”

Faith looked up then, straight into his eyes, smiling through her tears. Sliding her arms around his waist, she moved as close as she could get. “Then that love must be the same kind I feel for you, Nathan, the kind that never goes away, no matter what. I’ll love you forever and always. And—” She paused, suddenly self-conscious.

Nathan lifted her up to him. He teased her lips open with his own as he kissed her hungrily, nipping at the sensitive skin.

“And?” he whispered, when he finally moved a breath away.

Faith felt the hot color rushing into her face. “And you needn’t have been jealous of the man outside. Or any other man. That’s Scotty Miller’s father. Scotty is one of Cory’s friends.”

“That’s good, then,” he whispered, bringing his lips to hers again. “I didn’t really want to spoil the party by planting my fist between his eyes.”

“Nathan?” Faith pushed back and gave him her stern therapist look. “Don’t you ever go hitting another man for my sake. I absolutely abhor violence and I don’t want Cory to see something like that. Besides, I worked way too hard on those hands to see you mangle them on some other man’s nose just because you thought he was going to—”

“Marry you, Faith?” he asked, trailing kisses down her neck. “That’s what I thought, and it’s what scared me so much,” he murmured. “The thought that some other man might have earned the right to hold you, touch you, love you the way I want to—I—” His hands tightened around her waist. “Be my wife, Faith,” he urged. “Say yes.”

“I want to,” she agreed on a whisper. “But Nathan, I’m not alone. I need to and have to know what Cory is to you. I remember your fears about children.”

Nathan cupped her face with his hands and stared into her eyes. “Cory?” he asked. “Cory is my son, definitely my son. Maybe not by blood, but by right of love. That is, he will be...if you agree to marry me.”

“I—” Faith opened her mouth to speak, just as the kitchen door swung back in a wide arc.

“Nathan! Nathan!” Cory hurled himself against Nathan, hugging his knees.

“Billy Wilkins’s daddy told me that a man who looked like you was with Mom. What are you doing here?” the child demanded. “Mom said you couldn’t come, so why are you here?”

Faith watched as Nathan smiled. He let his fingers drift over her son’s hair and closed his eyes tightly. Then loosening Cory’s fingers, Nathan reached down to scoop him high into his arms.

“I’m here,” he said simply, “because I love you and your mom. If she agrees, we’ll get married. That means we’ll all be together. Forever, son.” He hugged the little body close as Cory wrapped his arms around Nathan’s neck as tightly as he could.

“It means something else, too,” Cory said solemnly.

“What’s that, Cory?” Faith asked, watching her son and the man she loved together, closer than clouds and sunshine, smiling, happy with each other. She swallowed over the lump in her throat.

“I’ll show you,” Cory said, wiggling down and running from the room.

Faith barely had time to exchange a puzzled look with Nathan before Cory was back. He held a shredded piece of paper, one she knew so well.

“If you marry us up,” Cory said, his voice low and serious, “it means we can tear up the wish list. We won’t need it any more. Not if you’re our daddy.”

Without speaking, Nathan reached over to take Faith’s small hand in his own large, strong one. His hand, the one he saved lives with, the one she’d restored to him.

“Aren’t you going to say yes, Mom?” Cory asked, jumping up and down. “Aren’t you supposed to kiss Nathan or something?”

Nathan laughed and with a tug, brought Faith tumbling against his chest. “Aren’t you going to say yes, Faith? Aren’t you going to kiss me?”

She looked up at him, knowing that it was all right from now on to look her fill and to touch as much as she wanted. It was all right this time to love with her whole heart.

“Say yes, Faith,” Nathan whispered once again.

And rising on her toes as Cory tore the wish list into bits and tossed it in the air, Faith wrapped her arms tightly around Nathan’s neck. Her toes left the ground as he held her against him.

“Yes, Nathan, definitely yes,” she said as a miniature confetti cloud drifted about them. “Yes, Nathan, I’ll marry you. I’ll always love you.”

“Me, too,” Cory added.

And she and Nathan moved apart, gathering Cory to them in a hug.

Epilogue

The wedding had been quiet and small. The only guests had been Dan Anderson, a few members of the hospital staff and Cory’s teddy bear. Now Cory had gone off to spend the night at Scotty Miller’s house.

“You’re sure he was all right with that?” Nathan asked, after they kissed him goodbye and waved as Scotty’s father drove the boys away. “I don’t want him to worry that we’re squeezing him out.”

Faith smiled up at her husband. “I’m sure he’ll be fine. He and Scotty have some sort of project they’re working on. Cory strongly hinted that grownups might be in the way. And not helpful. Especially since those grownups can’t seem to stop kissing.”

“He minds me kissing you?” Nathan raised one eyebrow.

She shook her head. “That comment was made for Scotty’s sake. Scotty’s already into the ‘kisses are icky’ stage. As for Cory, you know that he loves you kissing me. I think he believes that there’s some sort of magic in kisses that will keep you with us.”

“Smart boy. He’s right. Kisses are magic. Especially yours.” He slid one hand beneath Faith’s hair and kissed the pulse point just beneath her ear, the line of her jaw, her lips. She opened to him, slipping her arms around his neck. When he lifted her into his arms and carried her upstairs, he kissed her at the top of the stairs, at the doorway to the bedroom and as he followed her down onto bed, he braced his hands on either side of her head, and they kissed, long and deep.

“I love being married to you,” she whispered.

He smiled. “It’s only been a few hours.”

“I know. I’ll love it even more when it’s been a few years. And kissing you is bliss.”

She unbuttoned the first few buttons of his shirt, placed her lips on his chest and reveled in the way his heart beat faster when her mouth touched his warm skin.

“Faith.” His voice was strained. He quickly undid the many buttons on her dress, slipping it off her shoulders and away from her body. In less than two minutes she was naked beneath him.

“I see your hands are fully recovered. Those buttons were tiny,” she barely managed to whisper as his lips closed over the peak of her breast. “Your hands, your mouth…” She was babbling.