The Wolf's Surrender (13 page)

“I can’t seem to
see
anything when I’m with him this way. There’s only darkness, and voices,” Mia explained. And the shrieking of his blood, the dark magic pulsing all around him in waves. Magic she knew she could harness, though nothing good would come of using what surrounded Jeff.

She hadn’t even been tempted, Mia realized with a start. She’d been able to look at it impassively, immune to the lure of the violence of that sort of power. It was the first time she’d gotten that close to such a thing...and the temptation she’d always been told she would feel had never materialized.

Was it the wolf blood in her? Or was it just...her?

Tomas gave a dissatisfied grunt, but Jenner’s voice, surprisingly patient, drew her attention to his face as he crouched down beside her chair. In that instant, he was the man who had led her out of the woods again, strong and competent, in control but not without compassion. And just like that, she was completely focused on him, as though they were the only two people in the room.

“Seeing isn’t as important as you think,” he said. “I know it isn’t fun, but think back over what happened. Did you hear anything? Smell anything? Sometimes that tells us more than our eyes would. It’s part of having the wolf in your nature, and you do now, new though it is. Think, Mia. I’ll bet there was something. Close your eyes and think back.”

Mia sighed, but finally gave a short nod. She let her eyes slip shut, despite her misgivings about it.

With effort, she shook off the thoughts that made her skin crawl and sifted through what had happened with a more analytical eye. And Jenner was right, she realized. There were a few small details like what he’d said. But she didn’t see how they would help anyone.

Mia opened her eyes and looked into Jenner’s steady gold ones. That, and a new awareness of her own strength, gave her the courage to speak up without fear of embarrassment.

“I could hear him pacing on some kind of creaky wood floor,” Mia said. “And wherever he is, it smelled like it had been closed up for a while. A little musty. It was chilly. I could smell the woods.”

Jenner shifted his attention to Bane. “Hunting cabin,” he said. “Bet you anything.”

Bane blew out a breath. “Shit,” he said. “He could be anywhere out in the woods. This is going to be like trying to find a needle in a haystack. Still, it’s a start.”

It didn’t make her feel much better, looking at Bane’s handsome face wearing such a disappointed expression. Kenyon’s words, however, made her feel decidedly worse.

“It won’t matter,” he said. “It’s pretty obvious he’s going to make a move on her first. We’re just going to have to be ready for it.” He slid a fulminating look at Jenner. “I still think she should be here, right in town. How can we protect her when she’s only got one guard? She’s a sitting duck out there with you!”

Jenner opened his mouth, but Mia cut him off smoothly. She’d had just about enough of being spoken about as though she wasn’t there, good intentions or no.

“The
she
in question feels safe where she is,” Mia said. “And what exactly are you saying? That you
want
to use me as bait?”

Kenyon’s ready smile was gone. He looked older, and decidedly more intimidating when his dimples weren’t in evidence.

“I’m saying you’re bait whether you want to be or not, Mia. That’s not meant as an insult, it’s just the truth. He’s fixated on you. He thinks he needs you to clear the way for the Shadowkin. That’s going to be the thing that draws him out, and the thing that lets us take him down.” He shook his head and looked at Jenner. “A ritual knife? Are you sure?”

“Long curved blade, engraved white handle,” Mia said, answering for herself again. “I wouldn’t have known what to call it, but Jenner knew right away. I’ve got Unseelie blood. He needs it. It’s not that hard to understand.”

She hadn’t meant to say it that way, but it was hard to regret it when she heard Jenner’s appreciative snort and saw Bane’s smirk. Kenyon was nice, but Tomas’s commentary on her heritage had been about enough for one night.

Kenyon, to his credit, managed a smile. “No, it isn’t. And you’re dealing with it better than I think any of us could have expected. Sorry.”

Mia nodded, glad that at least one day the Silverback would have an Alpha who seemed to have both manners and a heart.

“This is all just a damned legend,” Tomas interjected. “Unseelie were nasty creatures, if you believe the stories. Mischievous, self-interested, prone to grudge-holding. Powerful. But I’ve never seen one. No one has. And you’re trying to tell me that they’re going to use some girl with a little tainted blood to open a rift they can get through? Bull.”

Mia’s mouth went as dry as the desert at once. She tried to swallow, and found it difficult. She hadn’t heard the words spoken since her grandmother had died.
Tainted blood. I can sense the darkness in you, girl.

But for the first time, she fought back.

“My blood isn’t tainted.” Her voice was unsteady, but clear as a bell. “Not any more than yours is.”

Tomas’s eyes narrowed. “You have a lot to learn, if that’s what you think.”

The feel of Jenner’s hand on her arm again surprised her. But she welcomed the solid warmth of it, and the support it represented.

“She’s no different than any of us,” he said. “And she’s safe with me.”

His words, simple, reassuring, were enough in that moment to soothe her. Tomas, however, exchanged an unpleasant look with Kenyon.

“Obviously, you’re doing fine. But I think it might be a good idea to get her used to us before she joins us.”

The words hit her like a steamroller.

“I’m sorry,” Mia said. “What?”

Tomas’s forehead creased. “You weren’t told?”

Suddenly, it was all too much. Mia briefly considered running, but she’d done too much of that in her life already. This was something she would have to deal with, and it was long past time to lay down her own rules.

“I was told I would have a choice. And frankly, I’m tired of being treated like my feelings don’t matter. In the last two days, I’ve been told that I’m going to turn into a werewolf in less than a week, I can’t go back to my normal life, and that I have to...” Ugh, she couldn’t say it. “Have to compromise myself so that I don’t go insane. Oh, and there’s also the fact that my now-ex
is
insane and hunting me because he thinks he can use my blood to open a magical portal. If there are any other decisions to be made, I’m making them for myself.”

For the first time, she saw a glimmer of that compassion Kenyon had insisted Tomas had—the thing that had spared Jeff in the first place.

“I’m sorry, Mia. These feral situations are never easy, which is why it’s good they don’t happen very often. But since Gaines was one of mine, it falls to me to take in his victims. In this case, you. The old laws, which we live by, say as much. If it’s any consolation, it works the same for males and females...this isn’t about sex, but about responsibility. We take care of our own.”

Maybe he was being sincere. But to Mia, he just sounded smug.

Kenyon’s voice drew her attention, soft and warm. He’d lost his grim expression, and now looked at her with hope in his pretty blue eyes.
No wonder
, Mia thought.
No wonder he’s been so strange with Jenner. He doesn’t just like me. He’s trying to stake a claim on me.

Then she realized that with Jenner out of the way, he could well be the man she chose. He wasn’t an unappealing option—just not the one she wanted. And maybe that was a warning sign, because so far, the men she did want in her life had ranged from indifferent and unsuitable to downright appalling. It was something to think about.

One thing, however, required no thought at all.

“I was told I could make my own decision, and that’s what I intend to do,” Mia said, her voice stronger now. “I won’t be forced into something I don’t want. Pack doesn’t matter to me, and I’m certainly not going to be boxed in that way. This is the only choice I get in all of this, and it will be completely my own.” She cast a pointed glare at all of the gathered men. She doubted the other werewolf females had to put up with crap like this. Of course, they’d either been born into the life or had made the choice themselves. But she refused to be a prize to be fought over.

Tomas and Kenyon looked thunderstruck.

“This isn’t—” Tomas began.

“She’s right,” Bane interrupted, his voice gruff. “This isn’t for us to say. None of us, Pack Law be damned.”

Tomas looked disgusted, but he finally gave a grudging nod before turning his dark and gleaming gaze back on Mia. “Well. I won’t fight you on it. It’s your life. But you might want to give some thought to which pack can provide you with the kind of life you want. And you might also want to think about the fact that Lunari—shadow hunters—don’t take mates. Especially not when they’ve had to kill one already.”

“That’s way the hell out of line, Tomas,” Bane snapped. Mia appreciated the defense, but when she snuck a glance at Jenner, he looked away, his expression stony, and stalked from the room, slamming the door behind him. He’d told her he was off limits for initiation, for anything but protection. And she could see he’d meant it. But Tomas’s nasty barbs were painting a more detailed, and disturbing picture, of just why.

Jenner was so self-contained, she wondered whether she’d ever know the truth of it...or if it would matter if she did.

“I plan to weigh all my options,” Mia said calmly, meeting Tomas’s gaze without flinching. “I’m just telling you that I will be looking at
all
the options. Not just one.”

“Fair enough.” That was Kenyon, and for once his unwavering support of her was a relief. She allowed him to help her from the chair.

When she stood, she slid her hand from the warm reassuring pressure of Kenyon’s and said her goodbyes. They might not be finished for the evening, but she was. It wasn’t that she wanted to be with Jenner, per se, though his sudden exit had her worried about him. It was more that she needed some time to think, to be by herself. And to recover from her current state of overbearing-werewolf overload.

“Maybe we’ll find him tonight, and this will all be over,” Bane said, his dark eyes sincere.

“I hope so. And good luck,” Mia said. “It was nice meeting you, Tomas.”

The older Alpha inclined his head, and Mia headed for the door. Before she could leave, though, Kenyon caught up with her, his blue eyes giving off a faint glow.

“Hey, look...I get that I’m not choice number one here, but would you let me take you to lunch tomorrow?”

Mia hesitated, but between the earnest expression on Kenyon’s handsome face and the fact that Jenner had been very clear about his lack of availability, she knew the only problem here was her own ridiculous infatuation. She’d finally done something positive tonight and taken control of part of her destiny.

It was time to start thinking—realistically—about how she would shape it.

“Sure,” she said. “I’d love to.”

His grin was so big she actually felt guilty. He was perfect in every way but one: He wasn’t Jenner. And that was something she was just going to have to get used to, no matter who she chose.

With a wistful smile, Mia said good-night.

Chapter 12

S
he awakened in the wee hours of the morning and lay staring at the ceiling. Strange dreams full of racing shadows and eerie light had plagued her in sleep. Not really nightmares, but definitely unsettling. Mia had finally surfaced, opening her eyes in the darkness full of an indescribable yearning. Rather than being sleepy, energy coursed through her, and she was more alert now than she had been all day.

She thought of running beneath the moon...and of Jenner.

Neither fixation was terribly productive, Mia thought with a glance at the little clock on the nightstand, which read 1:00 a.m. Her stomach rumbled pitifully, until finally, with a sigh, Mia slid from the bed and headed into the quiet house, clad in her thin cotton sleep shorts and a tank. There were no rules against late night snacks, she supposed. Cooler air swirled around her legs as she moved, a pleasant sensation that prickled across her nerve endings and made her think again of her dreams.

Mia paused in front of the wall of windows, looking out into the night. She watched the trees sway gently in the night breeze, and longing again suffused her. She wanted to be out there, in the woods. Forgetting about the snack, she wrapped her arms around her midsection and stared into the night, occasionally seeing small shadows dart between the trees. Night creatures.

Like she would be. Coming here had allowed things she thought she’d buried long ago to come rushing to the surface. The woods had always been her place, coaxing magic from her until it became as natural as breathing. She had vague memories of running through the trees, light like fireflies shimmering all around her. It wasn’t just blood that had a song. It was everything, the world, the night, the creatures.

It was no shock to her when her own reflection, glowing softly, appeared in the glass. Warmth coursed through her, pure and true. This is what she should have remembered, instead of years of cruel little barbs. Something, whether it was the woods or the wolf blood or a combination of everything that made up the Hollow, had made her magic begin to flow again from all the places she’d tried to hide it. It didn’t feel wrong and dark. It felt like it had when she was a child—like a part of her, and the most natural thing in the world.

Tentatively, then more confidently, she embraced it, and the woman in the glass glowed more brightly, a will-o’-the-wisp in the dark.

For all the stories about how frightening the Unseelie could be, Mia wondered how they really had been, whether they were extinct or simply gone from this world, like her grandmother. Ada had clung to the tattered threads of her family’s fae lineage like a talisman, priding herself on a few drops of Seelie blood, dreaming of the Summer Court.

Her father had been a half-blood Unseelie, handsome and dark. But pictures were all she had to remember him by. Him and the beautiful, fair-haired woman who had been her mother. She doubted they’d thought her an abomination.

Maybe it was time to stop thinking of herself as one.

A simple thought, but one that arrowed through her like lightning. The wolves here embraced what they were. Most weren’t the dark things of legend. And just because her blood could be used for evil didn’t mean she was, or that her people had been.

She’s no different than we are,
Jenner had said. But would he feel the same if he saw her this way? Would any of them? Revealing herself would be a huge risk, Mia thought. But for the first time, she was seriously considering taking it. Especially because she knew instinctively that however much a werewolf she might become, the magic she already carried would always be with her.

Whichever pack she joined would have to accept that. Or...well, she’d just find her own way, like she always had. At least she’d be sane. She blew out a breath, frustrated by her own thoughts. There would be a time to deal with opening up about her abilities.

Now wasn’t it.

A flicker of something larger, very near to the window, caught Mia’s eye and drew her quickly out of her melancholy thoughts. She stepped closer, frowning, a glowing ghost in the glass. Had she seen a deer? she wondered. It could have been. The forest stilled while she scanned for the oddly shaped shadow through the window. Her vision sharpened as she looked. But the wonder of being able to see the trees as well as if it were daylight took a backseat to a growing sense of unease. The hair at the back of her neck prickled. She went perfectly still as something moved again beyond the glass, and this time she could see very well that it was no deer.

It was a wolf.

As she watched it, she became aware of a low rumbling noise vibrating somewhere nearby. Growling. Suddenly, she realized it was coming from her own throat. And rather than being a human sound, this was all animal.

Though it was soft, the large wolf just beyond the glass seemed to hear it. It picked up its head from where it had been sniffing the ground and turned toward her. For just an instant, their eyes met. Mia growled louder, an instinctive reaction, a warning. Bright yellow eyes flashed in the dark. Sharp white teeth were bared.

She knew those eyes. It would be hard to forget them.

They stood there facing each other for a moment that seemed to spin out, suspended. That she felt fear was no surprise. But this time, there was something stronger that did surprise her: anger. Mia curled her lip in response to the wolf that she knew was Jeff Gaines, furious that he’d managed to find her, that he’d come hunting for her here...that he wouldn’t just let her alone.

Heat raced over her skin, the way it had in the truck earlier when she’d let her anger at Jenner get the better of her. She felt the sharp pains begin, like thousands of knives pushing into her skin, but she accepted it. He needed to know he couldn’t take her without a fight. That she wouldn’t run this time. She hooked her fingers into claws, felt her nails lengthening, beginning to change.

Jeff’s voice pushed into her head, a violation, an intrusion.

Mia. I told you I’d come for you.

She drew in a series of shallow breaths as her heartbeat accelerated. Responding to him without moving her lips seemed as natural as breathing.

You can’t have me. I’ll kill you first.

His mouth opened and his tongue lolled out, mocking her.

You said you missed me. Come out, Mia. I can see what you are, even if they can’t. Come out and play with me. Let me love you. Let me bleed you.

I hate you. I hate you for this
, she thought, with all the ferocity that was building inside of her. The pain intensified, threatening to bring her to her knees, but she kept her footing, kept her eyes locked with Jeff’s.
Do you hear me? I hate you! You can’t have me!

The lolling tongue vanished. The voice she heard in her head now was full of a surprising amount of pain.
No...don’t say things like that...I love you, don’t you see?

“I hate you!” She snarled it in a voice she barely recognized as her own. Power whipped out of her in a flash, light with a faintly violet cast that shot through the wolf that was Jeff. He stumbled backward as it passed through him, then turned and fled into the darkness past where her eyes could see. A mournful howl echoed in her ears, in her head.

She couldn’t let him go. She wanted to finish it.

Before she could think better of it—before she could think at all—Mia had flung open the doors to the back patio and rushed into the night, chasing after Jeff. She could still feel his presence, could smell a scent that was sweat and man, and wolf, and madness. Faster than she ever had, she ran into the woods, her feet barely touching the bed of pine needles, rocks and sticks beneath her.

You won’t escape me
, she thought, the light that coursed through her changing to dark, red hot anger pulsing through her.
I’ll find you...and when I do, you’ll be sorry for choosing me.

She could hear him, his rough breath panting not far ahead, his paws crunching through the underbrush. She’d hurt him, somehow, and she was gaining. Long, deadly claws hooked from her fingers. Her teeth were dagger sharp in her mouth, and it felt good, it felt
right.
Every nerve ending sizzled with awareness. The pain just beneath her skin faded to a pleasant burn. The change was close enough to touch. And if she could hunt him as a wolf, a wolf with the abilities she already had, he would never escape her...

She caught a fleeting glimpse of him through a break in the trees, picking up speed again. In anger, in despair, she screamed, another bolt of violet light flashing from her fingertips as she hurled it toward him. She heard his piteous cry as it hit his retreating backside, as her power burned into him.

Remember just what it is you’re hunting, you bastard,
she thought, pushing it at him, hoping he could hear it in his mind as he ran.

Then she was alone, and the reality of what she’d been doing, the sheer foolishness of it, crashed down on Mia hard. She staggered as instinct fled and her wits returned. It was only then that she could sense other things moving about her in the woods. Darker, sinister things made only of shadow, waiting to see just how low her defenses were before they closed in.

A sharp bark drew her attention. Mia turned, barely staying on her feet, and caught a fleeting glimpse of a huge gray wolf with intense golden eyes rushing toward her. All she had to do was blink, however, and it was just Jenner, in a pair of jeans and nothing else. The worry written all over his face pushed back the cold that had come with her awareness of the Shadowkin watching.

“Mia!”

Then he was there, in front of her, catching her in his arms and pulling her into a rough embrace she’d been dreaming of since she’d met him.

“Damn it, Mia, what were you thinking? Are you all right? Jesus. Look at me!”

It wasn’t until that moment that she realized how much her little supernatural burst had taken out of her. She’d held the wolf at bay, this time by herself. But she’d also used it, along with a bit of other magic she hadn’t even known she was capable of.

Mia licked her lips. “Gone,” she managed to say, when Jenner pulled her away from him, looked her over, and then crushed her in his arms again. “It was Jeff. But he ran away. He ran away from me.” She smiled over it, despite everything. All those years of fear and doubt, and she’d controlled what she had. It had cost her, but she’d learned something valuable, too.

Jenner seemed a lot less excited about it.

“Let’s get you back home. It’s not safe out here.”

He plucked her off the ground as though she weighed no more than a feather, cradling her in his arms the way he had at their first meeting in the woods. Mia buried her head against his bare chest as he took off at a run, carrying her back to the house at a speed no human could have managed. His bare chest was warm, and held her so tightly it was almost impossible to move.

Yet it didn’t make her feel trapped. It made her feel safe.

Mia didn’t fight it, and let herself go limp. Her ear pressed against his chest, and she soothed herself with the steady rhythm of his heart. It was no shock to her now when her own heart sought to match that beat, slowing, calming her as it steadied from its frantic pounding. The wind rushed by them as he ran, and Mia closed her eyes, losing herself in it. It seemed only moments before the door was opening and they were back in Jenner’s house. Warm. Safe.

Alone with the only man she wanted.

Strangely, Jenner’s voice sounded much less steady than she expected when he finally spoke, his deep voice rumbling through his chest.

“What the hell were you thinking? You weren’t alone out there, not even after he ran. Damn it, Mia, couldn’t you sense them, even a little?”

“I could...after,” she murmured, then moistened lips that seemed to have gone as dry as the desert before continuing. “Sorry. I came out because I couldn’t sleep. Jeff was there, outside. In the dark. I thought I would be afraid, and I was, but I was...so angry. Just so incredibly angry.”

Jenner swore softly, and then was silent for a moment. Mia imagined he was calling out the cavalry. She was glad, though she expected Jeff was long gone by now. Somehow, she had gotten through to him. But she wasn’t fool enough to think it would last. The madness had been pouring off of him, smelling like sickness. Like death.

She felt Jenner carrying her to the couch, where he sat with her still curled in his lap. His arms stayed tightly around her, and she was glad of it. Right now, she didn’t want him to ever let her go.

“Why did he take off? Did he attack you?” Jenner asked.

“No. He just ran away,” she said.

“He’s a coward at heart,” Jenner replied flatly. “I’m not surprised.”

Mia began to shiver as the exhaustion of her body really took hold. “This whole thing is insane.”

Jenner grunted. “What’s insane is that the Silverback ever let him run free in the first place. Even if he’s good at making people feel sorry for him, which I guess he must be, there’s no excuse for setting something like him loose. Tomas should have known better.”

“Yes, well. I didn’t get the impression he likes having his decisions questioned. Or being told no.”

Jenner snorted. “Tomas is a snob. His pack is full of hereditary werewolf families who think they’re special because of their lineage. They don’t really have to deal with Shadowkin because they live in a normal human city, most of them in cookie-cutter McMansions, with no open forest in sight. I don’t know how they stand it. They don’t know how we stand it here. To each his own.”

Mia remembered the way Jenner had stormed out. She’d found him waiting for her outside, but he’d barely spoken before now. She hesitated to bring it back up, but it was either now or never.

“Jenner?”

“Hmm?”

“Did you really lose a mate to the Shadowkin?”

He was silent for so long she thought he wasn’t going to answer, and guilt flooded her. She shouldn’t have asked. It was really none of her business. But she couldn’t seem to control her need to find out every little thing about him...even the painful, hidden parts.