The Wolf's Surrender (17 page)

“Bane is right. I’m not Tess, Nick. I’m just Mia. And for the last time, whether you believe it or not, I’m sorry. I trusted you, too. I might have been afraid, I might have made a mistake. I just didn’t think it ought to matter. I didn’t want it to matter.”

He didn’t know what to say. He needed time, damn it. He needed to sit with this until he was doing more than just reacting, sitting here nearly mute because all he could do was feel. So much of him wanted to just grab her and hope that holding on was the right thing. But he had his own kind of shadows in his past.

“Come on,” Bane said. “I’ll drive you out to his place and we’ll get your things. You can bunk with me until everything is sorted out.”

“No. I’ll drive,” Jenner interjected, surprising both of them. He didn’t know why he said it. But he didn’t question the instinct. Damn it, why couldn’t he ask what he needed to ask, say how he really felt? Why hadn’t he taken her someplace else to begin with?

Hurt, confusion and anger all mingled into a toxic stew. And still, he couldn’t allow anyone else to watch over her. Not yet. Not until he’d said his piece, too. And the words wouldn’t come until they were ready. Bane gave him a warning look.

“I need to do this,” Jenner said. “I have some things to say. I need a few minutes.”

“You don’t have to,” Bane told her.

“No,” Mia said. “It’s fine. I’m not afraid of him, no matter how he feels about me.”

Then she turned on her heel and headed for the door, head high. Jenner watched her go, and for the first time in years wondered whether he was trying to protect his pack, or himself.

But from the way he felt right this moment, plenty of damage had already been done.

* * *

He sat quietly in the corner of the living space in his cabin, legs splayed out on front of him. The curtains were drawn, blocking the sun that shone outside. He wanted no more to do with sunlight after this, Jeff decided. Only night, and darkness.

At least it was quiet now. He’d sent Pete and Jay into one of the neighboring towns for supplies. Sy was slinking around in the woods, imagining himself as an all-powerful night creature and waiting for Jeff to meet him. Sy, he would need to drug soon, while the others were gone. Blood was needed to begin the ritual—a lot of it would be, by the time the night was through—and those with the fewest brains got to be first in line. The man was stupid enough for it to be easy, at least.

Oh well, Jeff thought. He’d be giving his life for the noble cause of bringing a new age of darkness to this world.

And Troy...well, he wasn’t exactly sure where Troy had gone. He hadn’t been in the cabin when they’d all gotten up yesterday. His things were all still in the room the men were sharing, including his wallet, a fact which had caused some amusement among the others as they’d divvied up the cash inside. They seemed to think he’d turned tail and run away. Jeff doubted it, but that was nothing the others needed to know.

If they understood, they would likely run too. They thought he meant to give them power. But really, what he’d needed was their muscle, their ability to go where he could not and pass for sane. Maybe they would be rewarded with a new life, or maybe they’d simply be chewed up and spit out, drained in the Shadowkin’s impending feast. He didn’t know, and he didn’t care. His moments of lucidity were fewer and farther between now. He could hear echoes of Mia in his head all the time, talking, laughing, weeping. He dreamed of his mouth on hers, her blood on his hands. Was it real? Was anything, anymore?

At least none of the others seemed to have heard the soft and questioning whispers in the dead of night, echoing through the woods. But he did. He heard the shadows calling to one another, gathering.

Jeff knew he and his men were being watched, had been watched since their arrival. His dark friends were making sure he did what he was supposed to, that he stopped screwing up. As long as nothing else went wrong, he himself had been promised safety, immunity from what was to come. The fact that the Shadowkin had, in all likelihood, lured one of his men out to be feasted upon was a little irritating. Still, better Troy than him. The rest were expendable.

For now he rested, saved his strength. Went over the words he’d memorized by heart, ancient words, given by a dark figure with red eyes. And dreamed of shadow.

Chapter 18

D
espite the fact that he’d said he wanted to talk to her, the car was silent on the ride back to Jenner’s house. He seemed to be trying to come up with something—the anxiety was something Mia could actually identify as a scent now. Part of her wanted him to try...and the other part just wanted to grab her stuff and run.

She wouldn’t, though. She’d seen it in his eyes when he’d started to understand, even if he didn’t want to. He had so much to give, even if he was afraid to. Even if he ended up closing himself off to her. But she wasn’t ready to walk away.

He’d taken a risk with her once, against everything he’d promised himself.

So now she’d take this one last chance on him, that he really was the man she’d fallen in love with.

Mia was so lost in her own thoughts that she only halfway noticed when the truck turned down the long country road off of which sat Jenner’s house. The sun shone intermittently through the clouds that had gathered, dappling her lap with sunlight. He made the turn into the drive, tires crunching on gravel.

They were halfway to the house when Jenner’s muttered expletive pulled her back into the moment with a rude jolt.

“Damn it,” he growled. “Hang on.”

Mia jerked her head up. Jenner was frowning into his side view mirror and accelerating toward the house. She turned to look behind them and saw a large black SUV tearing up the driveway. She felt her stomach do a roll, and her heart began to pump rapidly as her adrenaline kicked in.

“Is it Jeff?” she asked.

Jenner’s jaw was set, and he looked furious. “Looks like it is,” he said in a voice that was little more than a low growl. “And he’s brought company.”

She didn’t have time to digest all the implications of that. She only had a split-second to register that Jeff and whatever thugs he’d found to help him were finally making their move, and that the odds weren’t good, when Jenner wrenched the wheel to the right and headed into the grass. The truck bounced on the uneven ground, but Jenner managed it. He turned again, and the tires slid a bit, but they kept going. She saw what he was doing, trying to arc around and get back onto the driveway behind the SUV, pointed so they could get back on the main road and get out of here.

Unfortunately, whoever was driving the SUV was an adept driver as well. The bigger truck spun, and pointed itself in the same direction, driving beside and just slightly behind Mia and Jenner and lining up so they could pull along Jenner’s side. The windows were tinted so black that Mia couldn’t make out who was inside, but remembering what Aislynn had said, she concentrated and tried to pick up what information she could simply from scent.

Four men. One of them Jeff Gaines.

“Call for Bane!” Mia cried, watching helplessly as the SUV pulled alongside them. Jenner’s old truck was simply no match for a newer vehicle with so much horsepower. “How far away is he? Call for
anyone
!”

His eyes went to her just for a moment, and the fear she saw in them chilled her to the bone. Jenner didn’t seem to be afraid of anything. But if he was afraid of this, then she figured she should be absolutely terrified.

“I don’t know,” he said. “Shit, they’re getting close, Mia. Just hang on! Hang on, baby, hang on—”

The SUV swerved, slamming into the driver’s side. Everything seemed to go into slow motion. Jenner grunted at the impact, his whole body jerking over to one side. The truck skidded a little, then with excruciating slowness, rolled. Mia heard the groan of metal, saw the world outside turning upside down. There was a terrible crunch as the windshield broke, fracturing into intricate spiderwebs in some places and shattering in others. Glass sprayed into the cab, and she instinctively shut her eyes against it.

For a moment, there was dead silence, so strange in the aftermath of such terrible sounds that Mia knew she would never forget it. But almost as soon as she took note of it, the silence was broken by the sounds of car doors slamming, running feet...and voices.

“Get her out. Now. We don’t have time for this.”

Still stunned, Mia dangled from her seat belt and turned her head to the side. Immediately, she saw that the impact and roll-over had been a great deal more traumatic for Jenner, whose side had taken the hit. And he was also, Mia realized with sick horror, a much bigger person than she. He hadn’t had much space between the roof and his head when the whole thing had gone over and compressed.

“Jenner,” she said in a shaking whisper. Her hands didn’t seem to want to work right, fluttering helplessly as she reached for him. “J-Jenner? Oh, God, please...please no, Jenner, say something...”

There was blood on his head, on his face. His eyes were half open, but saw nothing, and his head rested on the crushed roof beneath them, cocked at an odd angle. She grabbed for his hand, limp and unmoving, and squeezed. Panic and terror flooded her system.

“Jenner,” she tried again, her voice a sob. “Wake up! Nick! Please!”

Someone wrenched her door open, and she felt unfamiliar hands on her, dragging her out. Mia panicked, struggling wildly. Her eyes never left Jenner’s, which looked lifeless and empty. His beautiful golden eyes.

“No!” she shrieked. “No, what did you do? Call an ambulance—let me go—he’s hurt! What did you
do?
”

But there was no one on his side, and whoever had her seemed to take her thrashing in stride. She was dragged from the wrecked truck, over shattered glass that she didn’t feel slicing into her skin even though a glance at her arms told Mia that she had plenty of shards that would need to be removed.

“Get her arms and tie her,” said a voice she recognized. Her arms were yanked behind her back roughly by whoever had pulled her out, and Mia began to thrash wildly, kicking her legs. It didn’t seem to do any good, though, only annoying her rescuer.

“Damn it, stop moving or I’ll
make
you stop.”

When the hands encircling her arms squeezed so hard that it hurt, Mia stilled, looking up and seeing Jeff standing in front of her. He didn’t look ruffled at all by what he had just caused, and his eyes, as they met hers, were flat and cold. He looked far worse off than the last time she’d seen him. His clothing was dirty, disheveled. His hair was standing up in strange places, and there was a wild flush high on his pale cheeks. This wasn’t the man she remembered.

The old Jeff had been consumed by something much darker.

“Why?” she asked, pleading. “At least get him out of the truck. You’ve got me. You don’t need to hurt him!” She knew that for whatever was left of her life, which was likely now to be short, she would be haunted by the sight of Jenner crumpled in that truck. By his eyes, devoid of light.

“It’s very simple, Mia. He took what was mine,” Jeff said. “If the Blackpaw had backed off, maybe he could have had a little more time, though trust me, he wouldn’t have had much. So this is how it has to be.”

Mia stared at him, horrified at the implications of what he was saying. “You’re really going to kill them all? Why would you want to help those
things?
You were a good man, Jeff. Somewhere in there, you were, once. Whatever happened to you—”

That seemed to break through his icy calm. His face contorted, just for a moment, into the same hideous thing she’d seen the night of the attack. “Stop!” he snarled. “I’m not what you think! I’m better than that, stronger than that! I never did a damned thing right in my life. I was never good enough! But this time, I have you. And I’m finally going to get mine. Jenner is doing just what he needs to, which is dying.” He shook his head, lip curled in disgust as his eyes drifted to the crumpled truck. “Stupid bastard. His kind was never going to win.”

“They’re your kind, too, Jeff,” Mia said softly.

“No,” Jeff replied. “They’re not. They rejected me. Just like everyone else. They wanted me to be something I wasn’t, and when I couldn’t be, when I tried for better, they threw me away. But the shadows never have. They’ve always been there. No matter how bad it got.” His sudden grin was cracked, hideous, and even his rough-looking henchmen looked at him nervously. They saw his madness, she knew. They were just hoping to milk him for whatever he’d promised before he went off the deep end completely. But she saw more...for just an instant, she saw the wounded child beneath all the layers of hate and disappointment and want. It filled her with sick, hopeless pity. Maybe, long ago, Jeff might have been reachable. But he was so far gone now. Too far.

Her eyes went to the truck. Nothing moved inside, and all the air felt like it was being slowly squeezed out of her lungs. “Please,” she said. “Please don’t do this.” In desperation, she tried to summon the dark and beautiful music that flowed in her veins. But her terror seemed to have frozen it, leaving her with nothing more than a faint echo and the barest glow of power.

It was one of just a handful of times in her life she truly cursed the woman who’d raised her. So many secrets she still needed to unlock, so much potential. And no more time.

“Fight me, and I’ll finish it now,” Jeff said, eyeing her. He’d seen the shimmer, Mia realized. Terrified he would go for Jenner whatever she did next, she shut it down.

“There’s a good girl. He’s dead anyway, honey. But we’ll let his buddies find the body. A shame. The Shadowkin would have enjoyed him.”

She saw Jeff signal to whoever held her. She felt a sharp pain in her temple. And then there was nothing but darkness.

* * *

Jenner could hear her crying.

It was all that made him push through the pain, through the overwhelming urge to go back under, to sleep, maybe forever.

His eyes slitted open. There was a terrible pain in his head, and his body ached like he’d been run over a few times. As he came to fully, he realized that wasn’t so far off the truth. Raw fury bloomed quickly, overtaking what pain he still felt. He’d been lucky: living through the crash meant his body was already hard at work healing itself. Still, he knew he wouldn’t be one hundred percent for a while yet. Not as soon as he needed to be.

Mia was gone. Pulled away from him, destined to become another sacrificial lamb for the Shadowkin. But this time, their victim had done nothing more than have ancient, magic blood. He could still hear her screams echoing in his ears. She hadn’t wanted this. How could he have ever entertained the idea that she might? She hadn’t even been able to do anything to protect herself!

So much for his fears about her terrible power, Jenner thought, groaning a little as he tried to move. But even that had been just a shitty excuse to walk away. Because he’d realized something when she’d stood there, offering herself one last time, without strings, without anything but concern for
him
, his kind.

He’d fallen in love with her. And to the part of him that had been twisted and torn the night he’d had to take Tess’s life, that had been unconscionable. Terrifying. So he’d shut down, turned away.

He’d been a fool. He was about to lose the woman he loved far more than he’d ever loved the smoke and mirrors that had hidden the true Tess from him. And this time, it really would be his fault.

Jeff Gaines. He would kill that bastard if it was the last thing he did.

Though his limbs felt weighted down with sandbags, his anger gave Jenner the strength to get moving. He carefully removed the seat belt, trying to be as gentle as he could not to injure anything else as he dropped. He took some of the hit with his shoulder, feeling shards of glass slice into his skin through his shirt. Slowly, he pushed himself across the roof of the car, over where Mia had been sitting, and out the door that had been wrenched open.

Jenner gritted his teeth as he righted himself, getting to his feet with considerable effort. He touched his head gingerly, worried about what he’d find. When he pulled the hand away, his fingers were covered in sticky blood, but there had been no open wound.

Hell, yes he’d been lucky.

Then he heard the sound again, the one that had awakened him. The distant sound of Mia weeping. Instantly alert, he looked around him, seeing only the ruts that his truck and Jeff’s SUV had made in his lawn. No, she was gone.

“Mia,” he murmured, beginning to lurch toward his house. Maybe it was an auditory hallucination, something left over from being hit so hard in the head. But then he heard his name mixed in amongst the gut-wrenching sobs. It was the saddest sound he had ever heard.

It was at that moment he realized what was going on, what all those brief instances of deeper connection between the two of them had really meant, though he’d tried hard to brush them off, first as imagination, then as some kind of unwanted magic.

It was also the moment he realized he didn’t just love her, didn’t just want her.

He had truly found his mate.

The realization of it, the simple truth of it, stopped Jenner in his unsteady tracks. Mia was his one, his other half. After years spent thinking that he’d already had his chance at a life mate and failed, he finally realized that it had never been Tess. That had been youthful infatuation mixed with the lovesick desperation that comes when your partner doesn’t truly belong to you and never will. But all the stories he’d heard, everything he’d been told about the bond that formed between true mates now made sense. It was why he’d never quite worked around to sealing his bond with Tess. She hadn’t been for him.

And the woman he was meant to be with was out there somewhere mourning him, because she thought he was dead. Jeff thought so, too, or he wouldn’t have left. He could use that to his advantage, but he would have to be quick. Quicker, really, than his broken body would allow, but he was going to have to push it if he wanted to save the woman who had already saved him. Determined, he limped as fast as he could toward his home, and at the same time called out to all his brothers and sisters. He felt their answer, a howl of such force and fury that Jenner felt strength flooding back into him. His gait evened out, and the pain began to recede. He needed to heal now, for his pack. For Mia.

Mia’s weeping had vanished from his mind, but he felt sure she was still out there, losing hope. He didn’t know whether she could hear him the way he’d heard her, but if what he needed to make it happen was willpower, Jenner had it in spades. With all he had, Jenner sent a thought into the vast darkness that existed beyond the warm circle of his pack. He hoped it would find her. Even if the words didn’t come through, maybe the sentiment would.