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Authors: Sherry Ginn

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The Triangular Theory of Love

Robert Sternberg
2
proposes that love consists of three components that combine to produce seven types of love. The first of these components is
intimacy
, which he says “refers to those feelings in a relationship that promote closeness, bondedness, and connectedness” (6). Intimacy consists of at least ten elements: a desire to promote the welfare and happiness of a loved one, giving and receiving emotional support, counting on the loved one in a time of need, holding him or her in high regard, enjoying a mutual understanding with them, sharing possessions and self with them, valuing them, and communicating intimately. Intimacy is the foundation of love and it develops slowly over time. Difficult to achieve, it can be even more difficult to maintain, because as one becomes more involved with another, a fear of losing a sense of self may occur. The task is thus to maintain a sense of intimacy with a partner while also maintaining a sense of autonomy.

The second component of love is
passion
which involves “a state of intense longing for union with the other” (9). Passion consists of the expression of our needs and desires, one of which is sexual fulfillment, but it is a mistake to think that passion is the only need that can be fulfilled with such intensity. For example, someone with a strong need for dominance could be aroused by someone who provides a convenient outlet for that need. Nevertheless, passion may vanish as quickly as it arose.

The final component of love is
commitment
, consisting of both a short-term and a long-term aspect. Sternberg states that the “short-term aspect is the decision to love a certain other, whereas the long-term one is the commitment to maintain that love” (11). These two decisions do not necessarily occur at the same time or within any given relationship. It is this component that sustains a relationship.

Seven types of love can be combined using the aforementioned components. The first,
liking
, consists only of intimacy. It is the type of love one feels for close friends and family members. However, the term
liking
is not used lightly. Instead, it refers to the type of feeling one finds in friendships or familial relationships: feeling close to the person, but with no passion towards them or expectations of a long-term commitment.
Infatuated love
consists only of passion, with intense physical arousal. This is what most would consider “love at first sight.”
Empty love
consists only of commitment. Other types of love may sometimes devolve into this type, as is the case of couples who have been together for many years. In cultures where marriages are arranged, empty love may mark the beginning of a relationship.
Romantic love
consists of passion plus intimacy. Liking in combination with the arousal of physical attraction characterizes this type of love (20). Romantic love includes the feeling that one has met the person who is right for him or her and the feeling that one would like to fuse one's spirit with his or hers. Intimacy plus commitment characterizes
companionate love
; one could think of this type of love in terms of a committed friendship. Many relationships turn into this type of love once physical attraction, which is a major source of passion, has waned (21).
Fatuous love
consists of passion plus commitment. We often read about this type of love in the tabloids, when two famous people meet, fall in love, and marry after a whirlwind romance. Since intimacy takes some time to develop, the people who fall “head over heels in love” and rush to the altar wake one morning to realize that they do not even like their partner. As Sternberg notes, “the partners commit ... to one another on the basis of passion without the stabilizing element of intimate involvement” (22). Finally, a combination of all three components yields
consummate love
. Many people would consider this to be a complete love. Sternberg notes however that it is often like meeting one's goal in a weight-loss program: it is easier to achieve than to maintain: “like other things of value, [it] must be guarded carefully” (22).

As noted, love may be expressed sexually, although it is not necessary for all types of love. Nevertheless humans are sexual beings and engage in sexual acts for a variety of reasons, including to obtain and hold power over someone, to express love, for recreation, in the place of intimacy, and for relaxation, to name only a few. As would be expected, the characters in
Farscape
engage in sexual acts. It is interesting that its producers, writers, directors, and even its creator, were determined that an adult science fiction program such as
Farscape
would depict adult themes, such as sexuality. Yet it is surprising how few of the characters are actually sexually active, and virtually all of the sexual encounters in the Uncharted Territories are heterosexual and what is frequently referred to these days as “vanilla,” that is, non-kinky.

A Google search of the term “vanilla sex” will result in approximately thirteen million hits and a quick scan of the first page will reveal definitions of the term as well as links to sites espousing positive and negative views of the term and what it implies. Many people apparently define vanilla sex between heterosexual couples as sex in the missionary position (i.e., man on top of woman). Much scholarship indicates that a large number of people are
not
engaging in such a restrictive type of sexual activity (e.g., LeVay and Baldwin; Yarber, Sayad and Strong). Vanilla sex can also include any type of sexual activity that involves insertion, but not fetishism or BDSM (bondage/domination/submission/sadomasochism). For the purposes of this essay, I define vanilla sex as sex practiced by both heterosexual and homosexual adults to give and/or receive sexual satisfaction. Practices included in this definition may be solitary or mutual masturbation and oral, anal, or vaginal intercourse in a variety of positions. Excluded from the definition of vanilla sex would be sexual relations with non-consenting partners, BDSM, or other types of activities that might be considered kinky, such as voyeurism, frottage, exhibitionism, and others. Using this definition of vanilla sex, one observes that the majority of the sexual acts occurring on network television falls into this category as do the sexual acts occurring on premium channels such as HBO, Cinemax, Starz, and Showtime. Sexual acts in science fiction and fantasy (SFF) programs generally fall into this category, although there are exceptions. Regardless of the type of sexual act in which characters engage, most acts end in sexual intercourse. Also, sexual intercourse is the way in which most species, at least on this planet, reproduce. SFF speculates that this is also the way alien species would reproduce.
3

An Evolutionary Explanation About Sex

Psychology is defined as the scientific study of behavior and mental processes. Explanations for these behaviors and mental processes arise from a number of perspectives, and one such perspective emphasizes Darwinian evolution (
Origin
). Behaviors and mental processes that increase the probability of an organism's survival will be selected, meaning that the organism will survive to reproduce and the traits that aided in that survival will be transmitted to the next generation (Darwin
Descent
). One of the behaviors which evolutionary psychologists study centers on reproduction, attempting to explain the differing sexual behaviors displayed by men and women in terms of evolution.

According to evolutionary psychologists, men and women have different mating strategies. For example, some men and women display jealousy toward their partners. But men and women display differences in the type of jealousy they exhibit toward their partners. Men are more likely to be jealous of
sexual
infidelity in their partners, whereas women are more likely to be jealous of
emotional
infidelity. In other words, men are more likely to be jealous if their lovers engage in sexual activity with another person, and women are more likely to be jealous if their lovers develop an emotional attachment to another person (Buss, Larsen, Westen, and Semmelroth; Buunk, Angleitner, Oubaid, and Buss). Evolutionary psychologists propose that this jealousy stems from evolutionary forces that dictate mating strategies.

Any individual woman is theoretically capable of producing about 65 children in her lifetime, assuming she could (or would want to) give birth every nine months. This assumes that she would give birth and be impregnated immediately afterwards. Nevertheless, women do not reproduce that often. Even considering advances in modern medicine, the human body probably could not withstand the effort involved in reproducing that often. Men, on the other hand, can father thousands of children in their lifetimes, assuming a limitless supply of fertile women. Thus, evolutionary psychologists suggest that men and women have different strategies with respect to reproduction. Because men produce millions of sperm cells in each ejaculate, but only one is necessary for fertilization, it is in a man's evolutionary interests to impregnate as many females as possible. This ensures that some of his offspring will reach the age of maturity and his genes will be transmitted to future generations.

Men have little energy invested in their offspring. Women, on the other hand, usually only carry one offspring at a time, and it is in her best interests to ensure that that one offspring survives to maturity so that it can transmit her genes to future generations. Because women invest more energy in their offsprings' survival, women are motivated in different ways than men. Men want to mate with as many women as possible, but women want to mate with one man who will help them raise and protect their offspring so that the offspring can reach maturity. Although any given woman might not know who the father of her child is, she will always know that her offspring is her own. Men can never reliably know that a woman's children are his, hence different reasons for jealousy (Buss). If she is sexually unfaithful, then her offspring might not be his, and he is raising a child not his own. If he is emotionally unfaithful, he might leave her, which would leave her and her child undefended, rendering them unsafe in a hostile environment. She would also lose her mate's resources and his paternal investment (Buss).

Although this was a very brief description of evolutionary psychology and its tenets on human mate selection and reproduction, the theory can be used to explain many of the sexual relations depicted on
Farscape
. Likewise, Sternberg's triangular theory explains many of the emotional relationships on the series. For purposes of this essay, I focus my discussion on the series' major characters: Aeryn Sun, John Crichton, D'Argo, Zhaan, Chiana, and Scorpius—although I mention other characters as appropriate.

Aeryn Sun: Learning to Be More

Officer Aeryn Sun, Peacekeeper by birth and Sebacean by species, was born in space. Peacekeeper soldiers are bred to fill the ranks, but we never learn if soldiers are always chosen to bear children or if some of the births happen naturally. Aeryn learns that she is pregnant during Season Three, but does not tell Crichton because she does not know the identity of the child's father. When she finally discusses her pregnancy with him, she explains Peacekeeper reproduction briefly, telling him that a female soldier can carry a fetus in stasis for up to seven cycles before the child leaves stasis, develops, and is born. Aeryn had recreated (the Peacekeeper term for sex) on a number of occasions with her colleague Velorek prior to the events occurring on
Farscape
as well as with Crichton. It is also possible that she had other sexual relationships prior to meeting Crichton. In
The Peacekeeper Wars
we learn that Peacekeepers are actually human in species, but that their evolution was enhanced by a race of beings called the Eidelons. One way in which their evolution was enhanced was that gestation took a matter of days rather than months once the fetus was released from stasis. These two “improvements” ensured that female soldiers were not pregnant during a military campaign and that, once in gestation, they were not out of action for very long, which could be detrimental to their unit's survival. If Aeryn is any example, female soldiers are capable of giving birth and returning to duty immediately following the birth with no ill effects, which is exactly what Aeryn does in
The Peacekeeper Wars
. As Crichton anxiously hovers over Aeryn during her pregnancy and subsequent labor, trying to control her actions, she reminds him that she is
only
pregnant, not incapacitated.

The vision of sexuality and childbirth in the Peacekeeper universe is both repellant to us and attractive. Peacekeepers are freely sexual and mate regularly, with whomever they choose.
4
If any female soldiers become pregnant, they give birth to their children, male or female, when convenient for their unit. Those Peacekeepers whose job it is to raise such children do so. Gestation is quick and childbirth is apparently painless. Many short stories and novels within the SFF universe have envisioned childbirth and childrearing practices in such a fashion. Once again, however, if Aeryn is an example, she finds such a life unsatisfying and unfulfilling, vowing never to bear a child or allow it to be raised in such a way. Perhaps Aeryn's view is colored by the fact that she knows that she is special, having been told so by her mother when a little girl. In addition, two of her lovers (Velorek in “The Way We Weren't” [2.5] and Crichton in the “Premiere” [1.1]) tell her that she is special and that she can be more than her breeding. She says that she doesn't believe them, but given her actions prior to and after she joins Moya's crew, she obviously does.

Pa'u Zotoh Zhaan: Keeping the Darkness at Bay

Zhaan was a tenth level Pa'u, or priest, and a member of the Delvian race; she is a beautiful blue color and physiologically flora. Zhaan murdered her lover, who had planned to turn over control of their planet to the Peacekeepers. She almost lost her mind because of that murder, but many cycles of incarceration in a Peacekeeper prison allowed her to heal herself and slowly return from madness. Whereas Zhaan is spiritual, loving, and peaceful, she is also quite strong and recognizes that she contains a dark force within herself. Several episodes during Season One show Zhaan's quest to disavow the dark side of her soul and control the madness therein. In the episode “Throne for a Loss” (1.4), a young Tavlek male tries her patience several times. When he suggests that she is soft and weak, Zhaan throws him against the Leviathan Moya's wall and replies, “Soft? Yes. Weak? No.” Later in the episode she tells him that she “could rip [him] apart right now ... help me, I'd even enjoy it.” Nevertheless she does not harm the boy because she is trying to help him overcome an addiction to a drug that makes his species aggressive.

BOOK: The Worlds of Farscape
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