The Year I Almost Drowned (31 page)

I knew it was him even though all I saw was his shadow. Who else would be at

the pool at that time of night? I sat there, my car idling, wondering if I should get

out and talk to him, or drive on and act like I had never seen him. But my

headlights were on and my car was so incredibly loud, the sound of the engine

could be heard miles away. He looked over in my direction. It was too late. He

had seen me. Even though it was a dark night, he knew it was me, just like I knew

without

a

doubt

that

it

was

him.

I pulled my car into a parking space and got out of the car. I headed to the wrought

iron gate and Jesse met me and unlocked it. He was dripping wet; his swim trunks

hung low on his sculpted body. I glanced down at myself and realized I was still

in

my

pj’s.

He gave me a peculiar expression. “I didn’t expect to see you here this time of

night,”

he

said

and

closed

the

gate

behind

me.

“I forgot to turn the alarm on,” I said.

“And you’re worrying about it now?” He laughed quietly. “In a few more hours,

you’ll be opening it up anyway.”

“I couldn’t sleep,” I told him.

“So that’s the real reason,” he said.

“Yep.” I sighed. “That’s the reason,” I said with a strained expression.

“You look stressed.” Jesse was always observant. No matter what I could never

hide

what

I

was

feeling

around

him.

“I’m fine. I just want this to work. The diner, I mean. I don’t want to fail at it,” I

confessed.

He gently nudged me and gave me one of his smiles. “You won’t fail at it, Finn.”

“Are you sure?” I asked.

“Positive. You’re Charlie’s granddaughter. DNA plays an important role in

restaurant

management,”

he

said

and

smiled

again.

“Jesse, I hope that’s true. Because it means a lot to me. More than anything in

the world,” I said and then realized how much I had just shared with him.

I changed the subject, wanting to get the focus off of me. “What are you doing

here so late?”

“Sometimes I can’t sleep.” He treaded back to the pool and stepped down into it.

The water reached to his waist. His hands touched the surface and swished back

and forth in motion.

I sat at the edge of the pool, my feet dangling into the tepid water. “Me, too,” I

said. I hadn’t been sleeping, not since my grandfather died. It had been a long

time since I’d had a good night’s rest.

“I got tired of laying in bed thinking way too much,” he said and then leaned back

onto the water and floated on his back. Jesse should’ve been born with gills. He

made swimming and diving look so effortless, like it was the easiest thing in the

world to do. He turned over on his stomach and swam toward me. “You coming

in?”

he

asked,

staring

up

at

me.

I

glanced

down

at

my

outfit.

“I’m

in

my

pj’s,

Jesse.”

“So.”

“I can’t,” I said, even though I really wanted to. The water felt good. It was a nice

contrast

to

the

cool

night

air.

The

pool

looked

enticing.

“Suit yourself,” he said and swam toward the other side of the pool.

I sat there and pondered for a while. A part of me told me to get back in my car

and drive home. The other part clung to him like a magnet and really wanted to

be there in that pool with him–to spend time with him–to have fun like before.

Without another moment’s hesitation, I jumped in the pool and let the water

envelop me. I shot up from the bottom–all of me completely soaked–and saw

Jesse

beaming.

“Thought

you’d

get

in,”

he

said

with

a

smug

expression.

I rolled my eyes and he laughed. I put my hands down in the water and lifted them

up, quickly creating a splash and dousing him with tons of water. “You better swim

fast,

Finn!”

he

threatened.

I saw the look on his face. He meant it. I swam quickly away, but he caught up to

me in no time. He moved his submerged hands forward, a gush of water came at

me all at once. I closed my eyes, trying to keep them from burning from the

chlorine. I tried to retaliate. My small waves of water paled in comparison to his

tidal

waves.

“I surrender! I surrender!” my voice gurgling. “Come on, stop it, Jesse!” I whined.

It became quiet, the water lapped against me, still in motion from the chaos we

had created. I opened one eye to see if it was safe. He raised his eyebrows and

smirked. “Quit being so smug,” I said as I tried glaring at him through my water-

filled

eyes.

We both flipped onto our backs and floated around in the pool, staring up at the

moonlit sky. Water filled my ears, allowing me to hear absolutely nothing. It was

one of the most peaceful moments I’d had in a long time. I heard him talking but

wasn’t sure what he was saying. I lifted my head a little from the water.

“What’d

you

say?”

“I come here on the nights I’m not working,” he confessed.

“You’re not sleeping much,” I said, more as an observation than a question. He

had

never

had

that

much

trouble

sleeping

when

we

dated.

He stopped floating on his back and swam toward the edge of the pool and

hoisted himself out of the water. He sat down, his feet and calves still submerged.

I

swam

in

his

direction

and

treaded

in

the

water.

“So

are

you

and

Everett

dating?”

he

asked.

“No,”

I

answered.

“But

you’re

going

to

the

dance

with

him,”

he

pressed.

“Yeah.

Why?”

I

asked.

He shrugged. “No reason. I guess I’ll see you guys there.” He said it nonchalantly,

like

it

was

no

big

deal,

which

bothered

me.

“You’re

going?”

I

asked.

“Yeah.

I

go

every

year.”

I wanted to ask with whom but decided against it. If he wanted to tell me, he

would. And, I didn’t want it to look like I was dying to know even though that was

the

case.

I descended into the depths of the water, almost touching the bottom, and swam

forward doing a lap to the far end of the pool. I shot up to catch my breath and

saw Jesse still sitting outside of the pool, leaning back, resting all of his weight

onto his hands. I swam another lap and decided to rest for a minute. I laid my

arms

on

the

concrete

deck,

resting

my

chin

on

them.

“I love coming here,” he said, looking over at me. “Do you still dive?”

“I

did

at

school

once.

But

since

then,

no.”

“That’s a shame. You were getting really good last summer,” he said and then

stood up, walking my way and offering me his hand. “Let’s dive, Finn.” I formed

an

uncertain

expression.

“Come

on,”

he

said

encouragingly.

I relented and grabbed a hold of his hand as he effortlessly pulled me up and out

of the water. He lifted me as if I were light as a feather. I stood across from him,

my hand still holding his. My old t-shirt was soaked and clung against me,

revealing each and every curve. Jesse glanced down at me and then averted his

eyes in the opposite direction. If it had been daylight, I would have sworn that his

face was flushed. Because I know that even though it was cooler out that night,

my

face

was

incredibly

hot.

I followed him to the diving board. “You first.” He motioned with his hand.

I stepped onto the diving board, placed my hands up to the sky and dove right

into the deep end of the pool, touching the smooth concrete floor with the tips of

my fingers, and then slowly swam upward toward the surface. Jesse stood on the

diving board and dove in right after me, doing a flawless swan dive. He shot up

from

the

depths

of

the

water

in

one

rapid

move.

We swam to the shallow end of the pool and sat side-by-side on the bottom step,

the water hitting me at my shoulders and Jesse at his waist. “How come you can’t

sleep?”

I

asked

him.

He took a while to answer me. “Nightmares,” he finally said.

“Nightmares?” I repeated and turned my head in his direction.

His forehead creased. “I’ve seen some things that have stuck with me.

Firefighting isn’t glory all the time. Not everyone is saved. Sometimes, the images

won’t go away, no matter how much I want them to.” His lips turned down.

“There’s one image that still haunts me and probably will for the rest of my life.”

He

grimaced.

My voice was almost inaudible, “What happened?” I wanted to comfort him, to be

his

friend.

“It’s

not

a

pretty

story,

Finn.”

“That’s okay,” I told him. “I can handle it. Sometimes talking about things helps

you

heal.”

He gave a thoughtful expression and then took a deep breath. “How are you

holding up?” he asked me, completely changing the subject.

“We’re

not

talking

about

me,

Jesse.”

“It’s

hard

to

talk

about,”

he

admitted,

shaking

his

head.

“You

don’t

have

to

if

you

don’t

want

to.”

He took another deep breath and finally said, “We got a call that there was a

house fire. This house was out in the middle of nowhere, on one of those deserted

roads–it was way out in the sticks. Someone miraculously drove by and saw

smoke rising above the trees and called 911. By the time we got there, it was

completely in flames. The call just came too late.” His face was stressed. “We all

knew it was beyond saving when we got there.” He paused for a minute and then

continued, “I was in charge of room searches. The heat was so intense. It’s hotter

than anything you’ve ever imagined, Finn. Everything in the house was on fire.

We didn’t know if anyone was still in there and knew if they were, the chances

that they were alive were slim.” He grew quiet for a moment. “When I reached the

back of the house, the room was soaking wet, the flames were almost out. It was

mostly just soot and burnt timber. Everything was black. I opened a door–I think

it was a closet door,” he said and stopped for a long minute. “Inside were two

burnt bodies sitting in fetal positions. One was a child; the other was his mother.

It’s the most horrific sight I’d ever seen, and I just can’t get it out of my head,” he

said

with

a

horrified

expression.

I could see the agony in his pale blue eyes. What he had experienced was too

much for anyone to witness, even someone as strong and resilient as Jesse. How

could

anyone

sleep

after

seeing

that?

I wrapped my arm around him. “I’m sorry, Jesse.” It was the only comforting thing

I could think to say. At that moment, I realized how little I had experienced in my

life compared to what Jesse had. He was years ahead of me. What he had seen,

what he did every day, it was more than I could ever fathom. He was a hero and

the price of being one meant seeing all of life–including the ugly, frightening side

that

most

people

tried

so

hard

to

avoid.

He didn’t say anything for a while. We just sat there, side-by-side, staring at

nothing, listening to the sounds of nature, an owl hooting, its call constantly

changing, crickets chirping, and in the far distance, coyotes howling, their voices

mimicking the sound of babies crying. After several minutes of silence between

us, he said, “Let’s dive again, this time off the high dive.” He nudged me on the

shoulder and then stood up, motioning for me to follow him.