The Year I Almost Drowned (4 page)

impatiently.

“Fine,” I snapped and tore at the paper, pulling out a sea blue-colored purse.

“Now we don’t have to see you carry that ugly blah pocket book of yours,” Meg

said.

“I like my black purse,” I replied defensively. I’d had it for years. It was the only

purse

I

had

ever

owned.

“You’re

the

only

one,”

she

retorted.

“It’s a good color for you, Finn,” Hannah added. “It’ll look good with those pretty

green

eyes

of

yours.”

“Thank you.” I hugged them. “Thanks, Matt,” I said facetiously.

“Yeah, it was fun picking it out. I couldn’t decide if I wanted to get you pink or

blue,”

he

raised

his

voice

an

octave

higher.

Nana began to clean up all the torn wrapping paper that was scattered throughout

the living room floor. I collected the dishes and took them to the kitchen. Jesse

followed

me,

taking

most

of

the

plates

from

my

hand.

I leaned against the counter. Jesse stood in front of me, leaning toward me.

“You’ll

get

your

gift

tomorrow.”

“You didn’t have to get me anything. The mittens are enough.”

“Finn, really,” he said agitated. “As if I wouldn’t get you a gift.”

“Well,

it’s

not

necessary,”

I

replied.

“We’re going out tomorrow night. You’ll want to dress up a little for the occasion.”

He

smiled

mischievously.

I squinted my eyes and tilted my head. “Why?” I probed.

He

laughed

and

said,

“Not

gonna

tell,

just

dress

up.”

“Fine.”

I

pouted,

folding

my

arms

against

my

chest.

He moved closer to me and ran his fingers through my hair and I instantly got a

fresh, tingling sensation. “Your hair looks really good,” he said.

“Thanks.”

My

face

felt

hot.

He put his hands around my waist, pulling me toward him. “I like this sweater,

too,” he whispered in my ear, tickling it with his soft lips.

“Uh

hmm,”

Meg

cleared

her

throat.

“I

can

come

back.”

“No,

it’s

fine,”

I

answered,

my

face

was

beet

red.

“You

sure?”

“Yes, Meg.” I scowled at her. “Let me say goodbye to my dad and grandparents,”

I

said

to

Jesse.

Dad was still sitting on the couch, half asleep, his eyes kept closing every few

seconds and would open when someone laughed or spoke louder. Grandpa held

the newspaper in his hands, sitting on his chair–no one else dared to get near it–

reading under the dim light that shined above him. Social politeness wasn’t a

concern of his. When he was done socializing, he was done. Nana was near the

staircase, talking animatedly with Hannah and Matt. Being social was her forte’,

not my grandfather’s. That was obvious to anyone who was in the room.

I sat on the worn couch cushion–the springs needed to be replaced–and nudged

my father with my elbow. He shook his head, waking himself from his slumber.

“I’m

getting

ready

to

leave,”

I

said

to

him.

“Oh,

okay.”

“I wanted to thank you for the painting. I love it, Dad. It’s amazing.” I leaned my

head

against

him,

smelling

the

pipe

tobacco.

He patted me gently on my arm and awkwardly pulled me closer to him. When

he embraced me, it was always like that, like he had just read an illustrated

manual on how to show affection for your daughter and this was example number

five. I kissed him on the cheek and whispered “Thank you” to him once again.

“I’m glad I got to spend your birthday with you, Finn. I wish I could’ve spent them

all

with

you,”

he

said

with

a

sad

expression.

I didn’t want to go down that road and have a philosophical discussion about my

fatherless birthdays prior to this one, so I gave him a simple, “Me, too,” and stood

up,

kissing

him

on

the

cheek

again.

I pushed my grandfather’s newspaper down, my eyebrows furrowed. “Reading

anything

good?”

“Nope.

The

whole

world

is

crazy,

except

us,

of

course.”

“Except

us,”

I

said.

“Thanks

for

the

coat

and

the

party.”

“You’re welcome. Be careful tonight.” He lifted the paper back up and began to

read

again.

Everyone

waited

for

me

by

the

front

door.

“Y’all

have

fun,”

Nana

said.

“Thanks for the party,” I said to her and hugged her. “It was the best birthday I’ve

ever

had.”

“Oh honey, it was nothing,” she said, waiving her hand down, brushing off my

compliment.

“It was perfect.” I hugged her again. “Well, I’ll see you all later,” I said.

“We

won’t

wait

up,”

Nana

said.

“She won’t, but I will” Grandpa answered. “Better get her home at a decent time,

Jesse.”

“Yes sir,” he said and grabbed my hand, taking me out the door.

***

I called my mom on the way to Matt’s house. It had been a while since we talked,

and I knew it would be devastating to her if we didn’t speak on my birthday.

“Hi,

Mom.”

“Happy birthday, Finn. Did you get my gift?” She sounded relieved to hear from

me, which made me feel a little guilty. I had been neglecting to call, mostly just

sending her short texts, so I didn’t have to have a long conversation. I wasn’t

avoiding her. I was just so busy and wanted to spend as much time as I could

with

my

grandparents,

my

dad

and

especially,

Jesse.

“I did, that’s why I’m calling,” I said. “Thanks. It’s absolutely perfect.”

My mother had bought me a gift card to the bookstore at Harrison College, one

of the best women’s colleges in the nation and the school I’d be attending in a

couple of months. I received a full scholarship and had deferred admissions until

spring so I could get to know my dad and grandparents better.

“I’ll

use

it

up

quickly,

I’m

sure,”

I

said.

“Good. So, we’ll see each other during your spring break, right?” she asked.

“Yeah, that’s the plan.” I tried to sound upbeat, but the idea of going to Florida

during spring break didn’t appeal to me. I didn’t want to hurt her feelings. I’d go

regardless

of

my

lack

of

excitement.

“I can’t wait. It’s been way too long, Finn,” she cooed. “What’d you do for your

birthday?”

“Lots. Nana and Grandpa threw a party for me. Meg cut my hair. I’m actually on

my

way

to

another

party.”

“That sounds like a busy day. Did you see your dad?” she asked. I knew that

question was coming. She had acted like she was fine not seeing him when she

came to Graceville in the summer, but I knew that deep down she was curious

about him. They had never had any closure. She hadn’t seen or talked to him in

seventeen years. In the eyes of the state, they were still legally married, but

neither one of them had started the divorce proceedings. I think they were both

hoping it would just go away, but it was there, staring them right in the face, and

would never go away until they actually did something about it.

“Yeah.

He

came,

too.

He

gave

me

a

painting.”

“That’s nice,” she said and paused. All I could hear was the sound of music

coming

from

Jesse’s

CD

player.

“Are you still there?” I asked. I could hear her breathing on the other end.

“I’m here. I’m just,” she started. “I’m just glad you got to spend your birthday with

him,”

she

said

in

a

quiet

voice.

“Me, too.” I know she still had a lot of guilt for lying to me about him and my

grandparents.

“Mom,

I’ve

got

to

go.

We’re

at

the

party.”

“Oh, okay,” she said with disappointment. “Don’t wait too long to call me back

next

time.”

“I

won’t.”

“Happy

birthday,

Finn.”

“Thanks,

Mom.

Bye.”

I

hung

up.

Matt lived in a small two-bedroom cottage style home that was painted in a

beautiful shade of Williamsburg blue. It was an older house and probably had

been built in the 1930s or 40s. It had a welcoming front porch and a beautiful front

door made out of oak with bubbled glass windows in the center. Matt’s house was

quaint and charming. There wasn’t much furniture, just a futon, recliner chair and

a 42-inch wide screen television–all the necessities for a twenty-one year old guy

to have. The floors were oak, and all of the walls were painted pale blue. Matt

was renting the place for next to nothing from a family friend of his.

We got to the party too early, hardly anyone was there. Jesse and I ventured

outside to Matt’s backyard. It wasn’t much of a backyard; it was more of an open

field. Nothing surrounded the spacious field except cow pastures and vast

farmland. I could hear the cows mooing. A faint odor of cow manure could be

smelled every so often. Matt and Hannah held hands, standing around the

bonfire.

I watched as the flames got higher and higher and higher. A funnel of smoke filled

the

air.

“That

is

huge!”

I

said

to

Jesse.

“Yeah, tell me about it. I think Matt burned anything he could find.”

We walked closer to the fire, letting the heat warm us. It was a cold night. I

buttoned up my coat and stared at the dancing flames, the fire illuminating the

night sky. People started to trickle in as the sky became darker and the

temperatures continued to drop. A lot of them I had never met before but had

seen either in the diner or at You Bowl Me Over, Graceville’s most popular place

to hang out. Most of the guests were people that Matt, Jesse, Hannah and Meg

had gone to high school with. It seemed like anyone within the ages of eighteen

to twenty-five, in the confounds of Graceville, was at the party.

Jesse wrapped his arm around me. “I haven’t been to a bonfire since high school.”

“I’ve never been to one,” I confessed. “They had them every year at homecoming,

but I never went.” My participation in school events was pathetic. If it wasn’t

academic,

I

wasn’t

involved.

“Well, at least now you have.” He pulled me closer to him.

Lawn chairs and blankets circled the bonfire. Matt sat on a chair. Hannah was on

his lap. Some people were drinking beer while dancing mindlessly around the

fire. One guy played his guitar. A girl sat next to him, singing along to the unknown

folksy sounding tune. A few others within close proximity, hummed along. The

mood

was

mellow

and

relaxing.

“So is this the girl you can’t shut up about?” asked a tall, very muscular guy.

“At least I have a girl to talk about,” Jesse quipped and then laughed. “Hey man,

glad you could make it. Finn, this is Noah, my friend from the academy.”

“Nice to meet you,” I said. I guess all firefighters in training had to be well-built

since they had to be able to carry all that heavy equipment.

“You, too. He mentions you so much I feel like I already know you,” he said.

Jesse looked embarrassed. “Yeah, whatever. You’re just jealous because you

can’t

talk

about

anything

except

your

cat,”

he

joked.

“Don’t

knock

my

cat,

she’s

purrfect.”