The Year I Almost Drowned (41 page)

your

family

through.”

“You’ve got to forgive him. Remember when you told me I had to forgive my mom

and let the anger I had toward her go or it’d eat me alive?”

“Yeah.” He rolled his eyes. “I didn’t know what I was saying.”

“Jesse, you knew exactly what you were saying,” I said and placed my hand on

top of his clenched fist. “I listened to you then, please listen to me now,” I pleaded,

looking

directly

into

his

eyes.

“I don’t know if I’ll ever forgive him for what he’s done. He can mess up my life as

much

as

he

wants,

but

you,

you’re

different.”

“I’m no different than you. I’ve forgiven him. If you can’t forgive him, at least let

the

anger

go,

Jesse.

Otherwise

it’ll

change

you.”

Jesse looked down at his hands and sighed. “For you, Finn, I’ll try, but I can’t

make any promises. It’s going to take a long time for me to forgive him for what

he did,” he said. I couldn’t criticize him for the way he felt. He was being honest.

And, even if those feelings weren’t perfect, they were his, and I had to respect

that. “So, tell me, why’d you bring me a pie so late at night?” He looked at me and

waited

for

me

to

answer.

I gulped and took a short deep breath. “I wanted to see you,” I said. “To talk.”

He leaned forward, resting his elbows on the table. “Okay,” he said with

uncertainty.

I took another deep breath. “I know why you broke up with me.”

He

frowned.

“Finn,”

he

breathed.

I held my hand up. “Let me finish, okay?” I had to say what I wanted to say right

then and there or else I would never muster enough courage to get it off of my

chest. “All that time, Jesse, I thought you broke up with me because you didn’t

love me anymore. I thought I had lost you for good. But I was wrong, so incredibly

wrong. I was just too blind to see it. Everyone tried to tell me–Nana, Hannah,

Sidney–but I wouldn’t listen. I didn’t listen to anyone. I just kept on believing the

bad stuff because sometimes the bad things are easier to believe than the good,”

I said, staring directly into his light blue eyes. “Jesse, at the time, I didn’t know

what I wanted or where I was headed. You were trying to give me space, so I

could

figure

those

things

out.”

“Yes,” he agreed quietly. “I couldn’t keep dating you knowing in the back of my

mind that you were questioning it all, that you weren’t sure. It killed me, Finn,” he

said, his lips turned down. “It was one of the most difficult decisions I’ve ever had

to make. I knew if we stayed together, I would only hold you back and I couldn’t

do

that

to

you.”

“It took me a while to figure things out, but I finally see things clearly.” I took a

deep breath. “Jesse Quinn, I love you and I know what I want, and what I want is

you. And I never, ever want to be apart from you ever again,” I said as tears fell

from my eyes. I looked at him and waited for a response. It was killing me. Was I

wrong?

Were

his

feelings

for

me

gone?

“I think.” He stood up and came to me, leaning over me. I looked up at him,

searching his light blue eyes. He took my hand, helping me up. He pulled me

close to him–the scent of fresh soap coming from his warm skin. He placed his

fingers under my chin and tilted my head up so we were looking into each other’s

eyes. The smell of apples and cinnamon came from his moist breath as he said,

“I think that’s exactly what I have been hoping to hear from you, Finn, for the

longest time. Finley Hemmings, I am so in love with you. You’ve had my heart

since

the

day

we

met.”

He leaned down and placed his lips on mine and gave me the most delicious kiss

of my entire life. I saw fireworks light up the night sky. My heart beat like a drum.

I knew without a shadow of a doubt that I loved him, and that made this kiss the

best

kiss

of

my

entire

life.

This

kiss

was

the

real

thing.

His lips parted from mine and he looked down at me. My face was flushed and

warm, his just as much, if not more. “I’ll always look back on this day as one of

my

favorites,”

I

said.

“Me, too,” he said. I stood there so close to him, holding both of his hands, never

ever again wanting to let go. He had tied a rope around my heart and now it was

his.

Forever.

“Don’t

go

home,

yet,”

he

said.

“I

wasn’t

planning

to,”

I

said

with

a

devilish

grin.

He made a tisk, tisk sound with his lips. “Save the best for last,” he teased. “No,

what I meant ‘Miss Dirty Mind,’ was that I wanted you to stay and enjoy this night

with me. Let’s hang out. Like old times.” He grabbed my hand, leading me to his

back

yard.

We sat down, side-by-side, on his back porch step. It was completely dark

outside. Not one streetlight shined in the distance. I couldn’t see Jesse clearly

but could make out his shadow and hear him breathing. “This isn’t what I had in

mind,” I said in a teasing manner, but deep down under, I wasn’t joking.

He whispered in my ear and kissed the nape of my neck, “Get your mind out of

the gutter, Finn. It’s still early.”He laughed loudly and drew me closer to him.

Fireflies lit up the night sky, blinking light every other second. “I used to catch

these with my mom when I was a kid. We’d put them in jars.”

“I love fireflies. I never saw any until I moved here. They don’t live in Florida,” I

said in a quiet voice, afraid I was going to wake his neighbors. “I guess there’s a

lot

I

didn’t

see

or

experience

until

I

moved

here.”

“I’m

so

glad

you

got

on

that

bus

last

year.”

“Me, too, Jesse. I guess I should thank my mom.” I laughed at the irony.

“We can call her first thing tomorrow morning and thank her.”

We both laughed and then things grew quiet for a moment. “This is nice,” I told

him, breaking the silence. “Being here with you. I’ve missed you so much.”

“Me, too, Finn. I’ve missed us.” He kissed me softly on the lips, his fingers ran

through my hair. “I could kiss you forever,” he said unabashed.

On that night, our special night, nothing was omitted; everything was out in the

open. There was nothing to be ashamed of or too afraid to admit. We both knew

what we wanted. Having that kind of certainty made confiding so easy and

effortless. It was pure trust and true love. Neither one of us was ever going to let

the

other

go

ever

again.

I leaned my head on his shoulder and watched the special light show the fireflies

were performing for the two of us. “Seeing fireflies is one of my favorite parts

about

summer.”

He stroked my arm with the tips of his fingers. Goosebumps instantly formed.

“That

and

diving

with

me,

right?”

he

said.

“Diving

with

you

is

my

absolute

favorite.”

He kissed me longingly, with yearning, different than before, much more intense

and layered with deeper meaning. His lips parted mine. I could hear his shallow

breaths. He laced his fingers into mine and said, “Anything I get to do with you is

my

absolute

favorite,

Finn.”

“As long as I’m with you, Jesse, I’m happy,” I said and smiled. I nuzzled as close

as I could get to him and watched as the flickering lights brightened the dark night

sky.

“Wanna

go

to

the

pool

and

dive?”

He

nudged

me.

“You

read

my

mind,”

I

said

and

giggled.

We both got up and swiftly walked through his house, shutting the front door

behind us. I held onto his hand as we ran down the street toward the community

pool, ready to dive back in.

All eyes are on me. An anxious crowd of people stand before me, but I’m not

nervous, instead I’m filled with confidence. A long red ribbon stretches in front of

me: my dad is holding one end; my Nana, the other end. Both of them have the

proudest

expressions

I’ve

ever

seen.

I search the crowd. Almost the entire town of Graceville is here to support me.

Jesse, Meg, Hannah, Matt, Sidney, Lou and my mother are in the front, cheering

me on. My mother came after all. It took half a year, but she has finally come

around. We didn’t speak for months, but in time she realized that what she wanted

for me wasn’t what I wanted for myself; that I had to live my own life. She grew to

support me in my decisions because I was happy. I was finally doing what I really

wanted.

I was such a different person a year and a half ago. The old Finn would’ve never

had the guts to open a business. I would have kept living for my mom, doing the

things she wanted me to do. I would have passed through life without

experiencing anything. If I had never gone to Graceville, I would’ve never known

the joy of family who shared the same spirit as me, or discovered what it means

to have true friends, or found out what it means to love and to be loved.

“Speech!” several of them shout in unison.

My face doesn’t turn red like it usually does in an instance like this. Instead, my

alabaster skin remains unfazed by the adventure I am about to embark on. I am

ready. I could’ve drowned this year, but I didn’t. I stayed afloat and learned what

it

meant

to

survive,

to

take

a

leap

of

faith.

I start talking, freely and with ease. “Thank you for coming today. I am humbled

by your support and hope you will love Charlie’s Cafe and Bakery as much as I

do. If my grandfather were here right now, he’d say, ‘Quit yapping, Finn, so we

can eat.’ So to honor Charlie Hemmings, I will shut my mouth so that you can all

eat.” I place the blades of the scissors around the ribbon and cut it into two pieces.

A

round

of

applause

erupts.

I push the front door and hold it open and watch as everyone eagerly fills my

restaurant. It is mine. All mine. I have done it. And at the young age of twenty. I

have

managed

to

make

my

dream

come

true.

Jesse waits until the last person trickles in. He lifts me off of the ground and kisses

me.

“You

did

it,

Finn!”

He

grins

broadly.

I beam. “I did, didn’t I?” I say with pride. I take his hand and walk inside my

restaurant,

ready

to

begin

the

next

my

life.

Chris, thank you for your advice, support, and feedback. I love you!

Mom, thank you for being so enthusiastic about my books. You should get a

commission

for

as

much

“pimping”

as

you’ve

done.

Audrey Perrott, my dear friend, thank you so much for editing this book. “You is

kind.

You

is

smart.

You

is

important.”

I

appreciate

you.

Laurin Baker, you are the world’s best beta reader! Thank you for reading this

book and editing it in the process, too. You offered honest, constructive criticism

that

helped

make

this

story

better.

Leighton Frazier, a.k.a. Heat, thank you so much for spending countless hours of

your time telling me all about firefighting school. You are awesome!

Charles Jerry Weisner, thank you for talking with me about your experience as a

firefighter.

You

are

my

hero.

Brandon, Joy, and Adam (Nugget) McNeill, thank you for providing me with police

infraction information and for telling me how much Finn’s ticket would cost.

Rodney Rogers, thank you for the information about Graceland. I now feel like