This Is Gonna Hurt: Music, Photography and Life Through the Distorted Lens of Nikki Sixx (17 page)

God’s Tattoo Shop

“Get some god under your skin”

GOD, Proprietor and CEO

KAT HOTEL
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There were two phone numbers, one East Coast, one West. Both connected to a voice-mail message that said, “The person who gave you this number never wants to see or hear from you again” or something like that. My thought was that if you’re too stupid to get the joke, you have it coming. I thought it was clever.

She laughed and said, “One problem. The picture on your business card isn’t God, it’s Jesus.”

I said, “Aren’t they the same guy?”

Dj just scratched his head. Sparks, maybe.

I asked if she was up for inking my tattoo idea. She said yeah.

But I still didn’t know where on my body I wanted it. The tattoo was to be a handwritten prayer:

God, please forgive me for my sins…

And the ones I am about to do, too.

She said if I wasn’t sure where I wanted it, then we should hold off until I figured it out. I thought she was right but was somewhat taken aback by this young filly telling me what to do. We ate our steaks, laughed a bunch, broke the ice.

After dinner, I dropped her off at her studio, and Dj and I drove away. We were in the middle of recording the
Heroin Diaries
sound track and needed some beauty sleep before our morning session the next day.

I remember driving home thinking that Katherine von Drachenberg seemed like a very cool person.

Months and months pass, we’re busy as bees, building empires and masquerading as vampires. Having a go-to text buddy who got my dark, demented, self-loathing humor was cool. Someone who mentioned artists I had never heard of and was too busy to hang out most of the time. Funny as it seems, she was exactly like me. I never really had a female as a friend before so this was uncharted territory. I didn’t know it was possible. I remember the day she said she broke up with her boyfriend and my first thought wasn’t “Fuck, yeah!” It was more like concern. I didn’t plan on trying to date her. I think we both just planned on hanging out. That lasted until the night we decided to go to a movie at the Arch Light in Hollywood.

I picked her up at her studio and we drove off, excited to see
There Will Be Blood.
I told her I hadn’t seen it because, to be honest, I had only seen half. I figured half a lie was not really a lie. Ahh, to manipulate the situation in your head is something we men are all so grand at doing.

So, guilt free, we went ahead and parked and then it happened, by accident. We were walking toward the theater, and my hand somehow landed in hers. That uncomfortable feeling of “What is (he or she) doing?” blushed over us. It felt like fire running up the inside of my arm, and I took the pain, excitement, or confusion in one full gulp. Down the hatch, smoke shooting out of my ears, and eyes rolling around in the back of my head like black marbles.

Oh, shit,
said my heart,
now what?

After the movie we headed back to her shop. I came in to hang and for some reason only known to my heart, I tried to kiss her. In response, she tried to karate chop me. I laughed. What the fuck? That was a new one.

So I lurched forward and that was it. I could go on and on. That day, we laugh, I lost a leg and she lost an arm. In our broken little way of seeing life, that is romantic to us. She bought me a prosthetic leg once to remind me, and I still get goose bumps when I remember that first kiss. I think of us as Siamese twins. So close we are one and the same. Sometimes when you’re that close you fight and get on each other’s nerves. Sometimes you are willing to die for the other to live. This is how I want it to be. All or nothing. Giving, breathing, and exhaling magic.

Life is full of twists and turns and surprises. I am sober today, and if I hadn’t been, if I hadn’t changed my life years ago, if I hadn’t been willing to face the demons, then I wouldn’t be so lucky to love an angel now.

Katherine von Drachenberg has changed my life. She has inspired me to be more than I believed was ever possible. She has listened to me as if I am her muse, and I have swallowed her words and experiences much the same. She supports me as a father, knowing it is the most important thing in my life. She told me she would never lie to me and I could trust her with my heart, and I knew it was 100 percent true. At that moment I let down my guard, which had been tightly in place for years.

All these wonderful experiences are happening right now because I allowed sobriety and spiritual growth into my life. Thank you for letting me gush about her. If I am gushing over something so magnificent, it is my hope that you are gushing over someone or something, too.

Love is grand
…
Love is the reason
…
Nothing else really matters.

My first tattoo was a black rose on my right arm. The year was 1981. It seems like a lifetime ago. In fact, it was.

MEDITATION
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KATHERINE, WET PLATE
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FUN HOUSE
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SKIN
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AMY
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