Read This is Your Afterlife Online
Authors: Vanessa Barneveld
“No.” Mara throws another chilling smile at him, at me. “I'm going to be with my Jimmy.”
Without another word, she leaps off the cliff.
And Jimmy, ever the hero, dives right after her.
“Why did you save her, Jimmy?” I ask. It's exactly a month after Jimmy had “flown” after Mara, taken her in his arms and helped her glide down the waterfall unharmed.
“Because you said I was a superhero. I had to live up to that,” Jimmy says. His grin fades a little. The waterfall shimmers down the cliff face, catching the orange glow from the bonfire Dan's building. “No. I saved her because her story isn't over. She has a lot of work ahead of her before her time's up.”
Dan throws one last stick on the fire and clears his throat. “I'll never get used to listening to your one-sided conversations.”
“I'm sorry, Dan. It's just...Jimmy's so real to me that I forget no one else can see him.” I turn my head and find Dan wearing a bittersweet smile. Quickly, I bring him up to speed.
“You won't have to put up with this for much longer, bro,” Jimmy says with a laugh.
In a broken whisper, I ask him, “Does that mean you're leaving us?”
“Soon. That big old floodlight's coming for me, Keira. I got a preview of it.” He gives an enigmatic smile, and my heart twinges.
I'm happy for him. I am. It's just that I've gotten used to having him around, enjoyed having a
real
friendship with an old crush.
He goes on, “That night I left you guys here at the waterfall, said I had something to do? My mom's parents came to meet me. They showed me the murder. Showed me what was in Mara's head. That girl's really sick.” Jimmy gazes into the fire for the longest time. Finally, he says something that rocks me. “If you ever get the chance...tell her that, despite what she did, I forgive her.”
I splutter. I don't wait for Dan to give me a cue. I tell him right away and he looks like someone's slugged him in the gut.
“Sounds crazy, right?” Jimmy grins at us. “But...I realized that how I died doesn't matter. It was all part of a story. My story. Whatever happens to Mara now, well, that's
her
story. If there's no justice down here, then things will catch up to her in the afterlife. It's different for everyone. Leave it to the guy upstairs to take care of it.”
I stared at him wide-eyed. “Wait, are you...are saying there's really...a guy? A god?”
“Oops, I wasn't supposed to tell you living people.” He grins and the sparkle in his eyes tells me he's kidding around. “Seriously, I haven't met a head coach, let alone God. Just loads of relatives I hadn't seen in years. They told me not to worry, that we're all being looked after. You're just gonna have to trust in that. And forgive the people who cross you.”
“How can you be so...so damn philosophical?”
He guffaws. “Is that meant to be an insult? Ouch!”
Tears sting my eyes. I swipe them away. “Mara took you away from everyone you loved because she couldn't have you all to herself. Why should I forgive her?”
A gentle smile haunts his lips. “If I can do it, you can do it. Think of it this way, you'll earn heavenly brownie points.”
“Don't talk to me about brownies.”
Jimmy laughs at my comment. It's a throaty, contagious laugh that
almost
makes me forget about murderous Mara.
He seems a million times wiser now. Clearly, he has evolved since he died. He's practically the Dalai Lama now? He moves to the bottom of the waterfall. A flurry of droplets splashes over him. He cranes his neck. “Long way up... and down.”
I follow his gaze. “What do you want to do?”
“Walk on water.” He turns around and does just that. His sneakers glide across the surface.
Dan laughs when I relay what's happening, but there's a wistfulness lurking in his eyes. I wish he could talk directly with Jimmy one last time. I stand closer to him and take his hand. Jimmy mimics throwing a football, then pumps his fist triumphantly.
I shield my eyes as sunlight hits the waterfall.
“What are you doing?” Dan asks. He's facing the water and he isn't even squinting.
Waving at the waterfall, I say, “It's so bright.”
In an instant, Jimmy's by my side. His face is full of wonder. Color leaches from the landscape. “It's awesome, huh?”
“Incredible,” I murmur, basking in the warmth. My hand curls harder around Dan's. He gives me an answering squeeze. “It's your time, Jimmy.”
“Yeah.” He looks down at me, a sad half-smile on his lips. “I'll miss you.”
I laugh. “Don't be dumb. I bet you can't wait to get away from me.”
“Well, you do snore. That part I can live without.” He sighs heavily. “I don't know what would've happened to me if you and your grandma weren't around to help me out. Probably be spending my afterlife in the guys' locker room.”
I grin at the sour turn in his expression. “You would've found your way to the girls' showers sooner or later.”
He fakes indignation and punches me lightly in the shoulder. Stepping around me, he throws an arm around his brother. Tears glint in Jimmy's eyes. As he moves around in the sunlight, his ghostly body shimmers like it always does...and yet he now appears solid. Just as he did in life.
Dan gapes. He swiftly turns toward Jimmy. In a voice filled with wonder, he says, “I can see you!”
“For real?” Jimmy and I say at the same time.
“Holy shit, I can hear you, too.” Dan laughs.
“Whoa,
now
you tell me you're psychic?” Jimmy squeezes his brother tight.
“Clairvoyant. Right, Keira?” Dan couldn't look happier if he'd been won a million dollars. And I bet he'd choose Jimmy over money.
“Right,” I say, chuckling. I'm not sure if Dan has suddenly been granted superpowers from above. Maybe it's got something to do with Jimmy's aura being so strong, so close to heaven.
“Hey, man, I...” Jimmy begins, holding his brother by the shoulders. “So much I need to say to you.”
When Jimmy can't seem to find any words, I tell him, “I know it's corny, but just say whatever's in your heart.”
Jimmy swallows hard and nods. He holds out his hand. “I love you, man.”
The brothers cling to one another as tight as they can.
Meanwhile, the Light grows even brighter and...I don't know...palpable. I feel it envelop me, but at the same time, it's not quite touching. It's holding me at arm's length. Jimmy finally draws away from Dan.
“I really have to go.” Something in his voice tells me he's not entirely cut up about it. He's excited, ready to move on.
I do my best to sound casual, like saying goodbye to him forever isn't cutting me to the bone. “You've got things to do. Dead NFL players to meet.”
“I
want
to go.” Excitement puts a tremor in Jimmy's voice. At the same time, tears blur my vision.
“This is really it, isn't it?” Dan asks, and I nod. He sucks in a long, shuddering breath. “Jimmy, you can't go yet. I...I haven't said everything I've wanted to say to you for years.”
Jimmy laughs. “Bro, I just want to hear one thing from you.”
Dan blurts, “I love you, Jimmy.”
A wide grin breaks out on Jimmy's face, and in that moment, I see the Light isn't just all around us. It's coming
from
Jimmy. Pure and full of love, full of joy. He wraps his arms around his brother and whispers words I can't hear. I doubt Dan can, yet he nods as if listening intently. He pulls away from Dan and scoops me up in a hug.
“Keira, ordinarily, I'd flirt with you and say maybe there's a chance for us in another lifetime,” he says, ever the egotist. “But that would be wrong.”
I give Jimmy a watery smile, and whisper, “I know. You're like the brother I always wanted.”
He squeezes my arm, then starts backing away. “Thanks, Keira. For everything. I'll come check on you. Make sure you're passing History.”
“Take care of Grandie for me,” I say, sniffling as he nods vigorously. “And be careful with that leg when you score touchdowns on the other side.”
He glances over his shoulder and smiles, “Keira, Keira, Keira. There's more to life and death than football. You'll see...a long time from now.”
Jimmy ascends the rocky staircase. Step by step, his sinewy form grows transparent until eventually he disappears. The heavenly light dims. Dan and I stand fixated for the longest time, each of us lost in our own thoughts, our own memories.
A sharp crack in the fire finally shatters the spell.
“He's gone. He's really gone.” I stare into the fire.
Tears run down Dan's face, but he manages a brave smile. “He's happy, though, right? At peace?”
“He is. He's exactly where he deserves to be.” I nudge Dan onto another subject. “So is your keychain worth a bundle, too?”
“No. My over-the-top grandparents had Jimmy's made by a jeweler when he won the state championship.” He grimaces. “They wanted to give me one, too, but I've still got the fantastic plastic version. I asked Gramps to put the money toward my college fund instead.”
“Hmm, sensible.”
Chortling, he says, “I'm not sensible. It's fair to say we've both been stubborn and more than a little stupid. Me especially.”
“Yeah, speak for yourself!” I say, punching him lightly. He's right, though. We wasted so much time. “I missed talking to you every day. You know, the way we did in the BC era.”
“BC?”
“Before Closet. Becky's closet,” I explain. Dan laughs, and I laugh along with him.
He grows serious and pulls me close. His heart thumps against mine. It hardly seems
proper
. We've just said our last goodbye to his brother, and now all I want to do is make out with Dan.
The world suddenly tilts, and he's kissing me. Hard. Soft. Hard again. Our tongues touch for a brief, thrill-ridden second, making us both freeze in wonder. Then in an instant our mouths draw together hungrily again. We cling to each other as if weathering a storm, afraid to let go.
Laughter and good-natured teasing echo against the granite cliffs. Dan keeps me plastered to his chest as a bunch of kids enter the clearing. Their collective joy is infectious.
When Grandie died, I didn't want to feel happiness; it seemed impossible to even chuckle at a sitcom. But that was before the gift of second sight landed on my doorstep. There is life after death for those who move on to another plane, and for those left behind. There are terrible endingsâterminal diseases, murdersâbut great beginnings are always a heartbeat away.
Dan brushes hair from my cheek. Is it possible for my skin to ignite just from his touch?
“Come on, let's get out of here.”
Huskily, I say, “I know what we can do. Go back to our beginning. Find a few minutes in Becky's closet.”
He lands a kiss on my lips. “Sounds like heaven.”
* * *
To my editor, Meredith Rich, thank you for making my life-long dream come true. You've helped this book sparkle. To Sonia Palmisano in the Sydney office and everyone at Bloomsbury Publishing, your enthusiasm is infectious and much appreciated. Beth Miller, you amaze me with your persistence and faith in my work. My eternal gratitude goes to you, Robin Rue and Writers House literary agency.
Heartfelt thanks to my stellar critique partnersâAnna Campbell, Kim MacCarron, Pintip Dunn, Stephanie Kuehnert, Sara Hantz, Amanda Ashby and Annie West. The impact you've each made on my life and my writing is beyond measure. To Kandy Shepherd, Sharon Archer, Tina Ferraro, Erica O'Rourke, Shea Berkley and Sharon Lynn Fisher, your friendship and wise words mean so much to me.
I'm indebted to Javier Arriaga (the best boss in the galaxy), Linda Baker, Alison Myers and all my colleagues. # Ta-da! #
I've waited a long time to put the Model School in my liner notesâthank you, Brendan Wixted, Elvis Castro, Craig Allan and the Dr. Rhythm drum machine. Much of this book was written while listening to your songs.
Brinsley and Wade, Scott and Renae, Helen C, Lindsay, Ella, PBS, Murray, Brett, Ally, Ann H, thank you for your enduring friendship and cheerleading efforts. To Dan and Sam, uncommonly good neighborsâthank you!
A group hug to my gangsâthe Ruby-Slippered Sisterhood, the Unsinkables, the MargaRITAs, the Dreamweavers, Dauntless, the Tick Club, and the Sparkies.
To Mum, Dad, Nancy, Debbie, Martijn, Ruby and Max, I'm so grateful for your love and support. Thank you to Anne, Barry, Sasha and Craig for always being excited about my writing.
Last but never least, thank you to my husband for the love, laughs and serenades. I'm lucky to have you. X
Vanessa Barneveld lives in Australia. She has one husband, two cats, and three Romance Writers of America® Golden Heart® nominations. When she's not writing, devouring chocolate, or dreaming of intergalactic travel, Vanessa works as a closed captioner for the deaf and audio describer for the blind.
Visit her at
vanessabarneveld.com