This Man Confessed (3 page)

“I’m sorry.” He shakes our wrists, instigating further clanking. “Who has the power?”

I scowl at him. “You can have the power for today.” I brush my hair over my shoulder and rearrange my diamond.

“You’re being very reasonable,” he says quietly, swooping down and tackling my mouth. I grip his shoulder and soak up his attentive tongue and the warmth of his big palm secured at the base of my back. “Hmmm. You taste delicious, Mrs. Ward. Ready?”

I shake myself back to life. “Yes.” I’m all breathy and hot.

He goes quiet and his eyes drift down my body, his hand slowly lifting and resting on my stomach. I flinch, and he freezes, his fingers resting lightly on my belly. I don’t know why that happened. He doesn’t look up; he just waits a few silent moments before spreading his fingers, and then circling big, soft rings on my tummy. I wish he would stop doing this. Neither of us has spoken about it, but it can’t be avoided for much longer. He must sense my lack of enthusiasm. This is my biggest burden of all. I don’t want a baby.

I pull back and his hand drops. “Come on, then.” I can’t look at him. I start toward the door, but I’m soon halted when Jesse doesn’t follow, the metal of the cuffs cutting into my flesh. I wince a little.

“Are we going to talk about this, Ava?” he asks shortly.

“Talk about what?” I can’t do this, not now—not on my wedding day. We’ve had weeks of skirting around this, and for once it’s me who’s evading all talk. I’m in complete denial, but it’s hitting me harder each day. I could be pregnant.

“You know what.”

I keep my eyes down, not knowing what else to say. Time seems to slow, enhancing the awkward silence between us, and as I hear him draw breath to speak when I’m clearly not going to, the door crashes open and Mum charges in. I’ve never been so pleased to see her.

“Can I ask,” she starts, all stern, “why you didn’t just run off somewhere to get married? I’m thoroughly fed up of running around trying to control you.”

“We’re coming.” I pull at the cuffs, but he doesn’t budge.

“We’ll be a few minutes, Elizabeth,” Jesse counters shortly.

“No, we’re coming,” I argue, silently begging him to leave this exactly where it is. I give him pleading eyes, and he shakes his head on a sigh. “Please,” I say quietly.

His hand delves into his hair in frustration and his jaw tightens severely. He’s not happy, but he relents and lets me pull him from the room. I can’t believe he has chosen today of all days to push for a
talk
on this. It’s my wedding day.

T
he summer room looks incredible. Hints of green foliage peek out from among the masses of calla lilies adorning every spare space. The chairs are draped in white organza with big green bows fastened to the back, and tall glass vases, full of crystal clear water and tall calla lilies, dominate the tables.

Simple, understated elegance.

I’ve picked my way through a three-course meal with no wine and indulged anyone who’s approached in conversation. I’ve done anything to avoid looking at Jesse. John has given a short, sweet speech as Jesse’s best man, but there was no talk of their history as friends, or mention of Uncle Carmichael and the early days. John doesn’t do humor, although he seems to find Jesse’s way with me quite amusing.

And my dad. I’m close to tears as I watch him battle his way through his notes, reminiscing on my youth and advising everyone of my feisty streak.

He raises his glass and turns toward us. “Jesse, good luck,” he says seriously, prompting a chorus of laughter from our guests and a huge smile from Jesse, who raises his glass, too, then stands himself, keeping his arm down so he doesn’t yank at my wrist. My dad is applauded as he sits and downs a whiskey, my mum rubbing his shoulder on a smile.

Jesse places his water on the table and turns toward me, dropping to his knees and taking my hands in his. My back straightens, and my eyes make a quick scan of the room, noting all attention is pointed right at us. Why can’t he just play by the rules?

His thumbs are working fast circles on the backs of my hands, and then he plays with my rings, turning them on my finger before straightening them up. He lifts his glorious greens, and I’m blasted by twinkling pools of pure happiness. “Ava,” he says quietly, but I’ve no doubt the whole room can hear him. “My beautiful girl.” He smiles mildly. “All mine.” Leaning up, he kisses me sweetly. “I don’t need to stand up and declare to everyone here how much I love you. I’m not interested in satisfying anyone of that. Except you.”

A lump is forming in my throat, and he’s only just started.

He sighs. “You’ve taken me completely, baby. You’ve swallowed me up and drowned me in your beauty and spirit. You know I can’t function without you. You’ve made my life as beautiful as you are. You’ve made me want to live a worthy existence—a life with you. All I need is you—to look at you; to listen to you; to feel you.” He drops my hands and smoothes his palms over my thighs. “To love you.”

I’m ruined. My mum’s ruined. Everyone in the room is ruined. My teeth are clamped on my bottom lip to prevent a sob escaping. I’m choking on the lump in my throat and my eyes are welling with tears as I look down at Jesse’s handsome face.

“I need you to let me do all of those things, Ava. I need you to let me look after you forever.”

I hear my mum’s sobs, and I can’t help mine. Not now. He used to cripple me with just his touch. Now he cripples me with his words, too. I’m destined for a life of devastating pleasure, melting tenderness, and heart-stopping emotion. He’s going to incapacitate me at every turn.

“I know,” I whisper.

He nods and exhales a long lungful of air before standing and pulling me up to his body. My face falls straight into his neck, and I breathe him into me, his fresh, minty scent prompting me to close my eyes on a contented sigh.

The room is no longer silent. When I pull out of Jesse’s hold, I see people standing everywhere, a steady, respectful clapping of hands resonating through the room. I should feel embarrassed, but I don’t. He’s just spoken to me like we were alone, proving that he really doesn’t care where he is and who’s there—wherever and whenever, as it always has been and as it always will be.

I watch as my mum approaches and throws her arms around Jesse. “Jesse Ward, I love you,” she says in his ear as he holds her with one arm, “but please remove those handcuffs from my daughter.”

“Not going to happen, Elizabeth.”

She releases him and slaps his shoulder, and then Kate dives on him. “Oh my God. I wanna kiss your feet.”

I roll my eyes, getting my arm yanked all over the place while people congratulate my neurotic ex-playboy on his little speech. It’s our wedding day, and I don’t want to be here. All of these people, including Kate and my mother, are getting in my way. I want him all to myself.

After I’ve been kissed on the cheek a million times, and Jesse has shaken hands with everyone, he starts leading me from the summer room.

“Ava?”

I turn, finding my brother close behind. I almost wish he wasn’t here. He’s struggling, and it’s incredibly painful to see. Looking down at my wrist, I start wondering how I can convince Jesse to release me. He wouldn’t for my mum, and I haven’t much faith that he will for my brother. They’re wary of each other. It can’t be ignored.

I turn my eyes up to Jesse and find him watching me. He knows what I’m thinking, and I know he’s not happy about it, but he still reaches into his pocket and pulls out a small key.

Without a word, he releases me from the cuffs and leaves them dangling from his wrist. “Go,” he says quietly, flicking threatening eyes at Dan.

Dan gives as good as he gets, flashing an equally warning glare. I don’t need this, not with two of the most important men in my life.

I lean up to kiss Jesse’s cheek and feel his hand glide around my hips, smoothing over my bum before he rips his eyes away from Dan and turns his face into my lips. “Don’t be long,” he says, releasing me and striding off.

“Come on.” I hold my hand out to Dan, and he takes it, letting me lead him out to the gardens.

We’re silent for a short while as we wander down the gravel path, past the tennis courts, finding ourselves in the woodlands. The low evening sun is fighting through the canopy of trees and scattering dashes of sparkling light across the ground before us, and I focus my attention on tracking the puddles of light as they dance across the forest floor at my feet. There has never been discomfort between us, but the tension now feels
really
uncomfortable.

Dropping Dan’s hand and lifting my dress, I step over a large twig and catch my heel, causing me to stagger. “Oh!”

“Careful.” Dan grabs my elbow to steady me. “I don’t think those shoes were made for hiking.”

I relax immediately. “No.” I laugh, straightening myself out.

“Ava…”

I give him a tired look. “Just say it, Dan. Whatever you’ve been dying to say since you’ve met Jesse, just say it.”

“Okay. I don’t like him.”

I recoil a little. “Okay.” I laugh uncomfortably. “I didn’t think you’d be so blunt.”

He shrugs. “What do you want me to say?”

“You don’t even know him. The only attempt you’ve made to speak with him, to get to know him, was when you tried to warn him.” Mum might have intercepted Dan’s older-brother speech, but he still made a start, and Jesse’s ticking jaw was a clear indication of what he thought of Dan’s intended caution.

“Explain about this drink issue, then.”

My eyes widen. “What are you talking about?” I don’t like the reproachful look on his face, not at all.

“I’m talking about the drink issue Matt brought up—the drink issue that hasn’t been mentioned since. The fact he hasn’t touched alcohol all day hasn’t gone unnoticed, Ava. Not on my part, anyway.”

I knew it was too much of a good thing. I don’t need Dan unearthing an issue that really isn’t an issue. Jesse hasn’t had a drink since I found him at Lusso. He doesn’t need it if he has me, and he most definitely has me.

“And where’s his family?” he asks.

“I’ve told you. He doesn’t speak to them.”

“Right.” He laughs. “That’s convenient. And to think I disliked Matt.”

“So now you’re suddenly a Matt advocate, are you?” I snipe nastily. I point my finger in his face. I feel really fucking mad. “There is no issue. He has no family, so back off. Let’s talk about what’s really eating you up. Let’s talk about Kate.”

It’s his eyes that are wide now. Yes, I’ve just homed in on the real
issue
here. “Nothing’s eating me up!” he yells. “I couldn’t give a fuck about Kate!”

“Of course!” I laugh. “That’s why you’ve barely pulled your eyes away from her all day.”

“Who the hell is that Sam?” His tone only confirms I’ve hit a nerve.

I might not be thrilled with Kate’s life direction at the moment, but I would prefer her carrying on with Sam, rather than heading for guaranteed disaster with Dan. It ended in tears before and it will again. “He’s good for her,” I spit out. “You need to leave this exactly where it is.” I gather up my dress, ready to make a retreat, but he grabs my arm.

“What if I don’t want to?”

“Get your fucking hands off her.” The familiar, rampant growl pulls my head around fast. Jesse is standing nearby, his chest heaving, a murderous look on his face.

“It’s fine. We’re done,” I say, yanking my arm free. I need to get Jesse away before he tramples all over my brother. And it won’t just be a verbal trample.

Dan steps forward. “She’s my sister.”

Jesse closes the gap between them, his eyes black. “She’s. My. Wife.”

My brother laughs a little, not a good thing, judging by Jesse’s darkening glare and the balling of his fists by his side.

I place my hand on his arm and he flinches, too focused on Dan to realize it’s me. As soon as he does, though, he breaks the glowering deadlock and turns his eyes to mine. They soften immediately.

“Let’s go,” I say quietly, sliding my hand down his arm to grasp his.

He nods and turns with me, not giving Dan another look. I’m grateful. Dan’s not in a good place, and I know how tenacious he can be when he’s on the defense.

“Give me your hand,” Jesse orders, reaching down as we head for The Manor. I let him take it and recuff me. “Don’t ask me to remove them again.”

“I won’t,” I grumble. I wish he’d never released me in the first place. Then I might not be seething with Dan’s obvious
issue
with Kate and his inquisitiveness with regards to Jesse’s
issue
. “Throw away the key.”

His eyebrows raise. “Wishing you’d stayed nailed to me?”

“Yes,” I admit. “Don’t free me again.”

“Okay,” he agrees. “Would you like a drink?”

We continue toward the house, recuffed and reunited. “I’d love a drink.” I’ve hardly touched a drop all day, and I’m a little surprised that he’s offered.

“Come on.” He pulls me in and kisses my forehead. “I won’t stand for it, Ava. Even if he is your brother.”

“I know,” I agree quietly. I’m surprised by his self-control. It doesn’t matter to Jesse who he eliminates, and Dan has not helped his cause. He’s just tried to restrain me, the worst thing he could do. I don’t want my husband and brother to battle, but I know Jesse would never back down when it comes to me, and Dan would never lose face.

This is an issue.

The evening guests have arrived, and as we make our way through the bar, we’re accosted, kissed, and wished well with every step we take. I’m finally placed on my stool and handed a glass of water. Water? I look at the clear glass and back to Jesse, who is doing a damn fine job of ignoring my obvious disbelief.

Tessa comes steaming over, looking as wound up as poor Mum. “Where have you been?” she asks incredulously, flicking her eyes from me to Jesse. “You were supposed to cut the cake!”

Jesse opens a bottle of water and takes a long swig, not in the least bit perturbed by Tessa’s concern. “It’s fine.”

Tessa shakes her head in disbelief and stomps off toward the entrance hall. “Don’t you want to cut the cake?” I ask, my wrist being lifted as Jesse secures the lid on his water bottle. “Kate went out of her way to make it at such short notice.”

He reaches forward and straightens my diamond. “Then let’s not ruin it.”

“You’re impossible.” I sigh, glancing across the bar, spotting Sam and Drew entertaining my dad, who’s looking a little rosy cheeked. My mum is reveling in the attention, undoubtedly offering tours of the grounds, and Kate is looking drunk. Tom flaps a limp wrist at me, Victoria gives a girly wave, and poor Sal just looks like she’s trying to fit in. She’s still sparkling, but her new fellow isn’t here. I smile and turn my attention back to Jesse, just as Tessa storms back into the bar.

“Okay, I’ve spoken to Elizabeth,” Tessa huffs. “We’re cutting the cake and having the first dance shortly, so don’t disappear again.” She storms off. She’s definitely regretting taking this job.

“You okay, baby?” His warm palm slides across my cheek.

“Yes, fine,” I answer, but I’m not. I’ve fallen out with my brother, and that has absolutely never happened.

“You don’t look fine. I said I wanted you to enjoy today.”

I inwardly laugh. Then he should let me have a drink and he shouldn’t have broached the subject that has my brain the most twisted at the moment. “I’m fine.” I sigh, taking a long sip of my water. Fucking water.

Patrick and Irene approach, my cuddly bear of a boss brandishing a huge ivory gift bag, his wife adorned in a mass of animal-print material. I think it might be a dress. I quickly direct my eyes to Jesse. “Here’s Patrick. You said Monday, remember?” I need to get that in quickly.

Jesse looks over his shoulder. “Yes, Ava. Just until Monday, though.”

“Flower!” Patrick thrusts the gift bag at me, kisses my cheek, and then holds his hand out to Jesse. “Mr. Ward,” he greets, a frown popping up onto his wrinkled forehead when he clocks the cuffs.

“Please, it’s Jesse. Thank you for coming.” Jesse takes Patrick’s hand.

My boss drags his eyes away from our wrists. “This is Irene.” He signals to his wife as she wobbles over with the biggest grin on her face. I smile to myself. She’s affected.

“Nice to meet you,” she says and giggles.

“And you.” Jesse hits her with his smile, and she disintegrates on the spot. “Please, the bar staff will see to you.”

“Thank you!” she gushes. “This hotel is just wonderful!”

“Hello, Irene,” I say on a smile. She drags her greedy eyes away from my husband and brings them onto me. She’s a frightening woman, but not at the moment. She’s too busy straightening her back and pulling in her stomach. “How are you?”