This One Time With Julia (5 page)

While I was trying out the mattress, Julia took her suitcase into the bathroom to get dressed for bed. She came out a few minutes later in this huge blue T-shirt and these incredible white shorts, and then just stood there for a while in the doorway watching me try to get comfortable. I think I was under the covers by then, but I was still wearing all my clothes because I was too nervous to even take my socks off.

“Can we leave the bathroom light on?” she said. “I can’t sleep when it’s completely dark.”

“Go ahead.”

Julia stayed there in the doorway for a second longer.

“I watched you eat today,” she said. “You loved it. It made me so happy to watch you enjoy that cheeseburger so much.” She patted the dog one more time and said, “Goodnight, Max,” and climbed into her bed and pulled the blankets up under her chin. But I guess she really wasn’t ready to sleep yet, because she didn’t even close her eyes. After about a minute she asked me, “Did you ever play poker with Alvin?”

“It’s the only card game that I know.”

“He taught me how to play.”

“Me too.”

She turned on the light, and I went over to sit on the edge of her bed. We played poker for about an hour, using these M&Ms Julia had as chips. She won every game, and I could tell she’d learned to play from Alvin, because it felt the same as losing to him. I’d always liked playing with Alvin, because even though he always won, it always felt like we were both winning together, and that’s how it was with Julia too. After she won all the M&Ms, we split them up and ate them all. Then I went back to my horrible foldout sofa bed and she turned off the light, but I guess she still wasn’t tired.

“I remember standing in the parking lot of the hotel, watching Alvin drive away,” she said in the dark. “And I had a feeling I’d never see him again.”

“He’ll come back eventually. That’s what happened the last time he left.”

“When it comes to old boyfriends, they say it can go one of two ways. You either stay close to them forever or you never talk to them again.”

I can still remember how quiet it was in that room. The air conditioner had shut off, and there weren’t any airplanes overhead, or people jabbering outside, or anything. Julia’s voice was quiet, almost a whisper, but it filled up the whole room.

“When Alvin left Tennessee, it was like I split off into two different lives,” she said. “In one of those lives, I went with him, and I’m sailing around the tip of Florida right now. In the other life, I didn’t go with him, but will always wonder if I should have, and that’s the life I’m living in right now. I thought about it, Joe. I really did. But an eighteen-year-old girl can’t just drop everything and run away.”

“I would have gone with him,” I said. “If he had let me.”

“Last year I spent half a semester in Sweden,” said Julia. “For the first month it was the most exciting place I’d ever been. And the second month I felt like I’d been there all my life. And the third month I got so homesick that I had to come home early. I’m not saying that being with Alvin was exactly like that. But he can be a lot to handle sometimes. I’m sorry that I keep going on about him.”

“It’s okay.”

“Then I’ll just go on a little longer. The first time I ever saw him he was reading a book on the beach. He was so focused on his book that he had no idea I was watching him. Then he reacted to something he was reading and spit into his book. Not even in an angry way. But something in the book made him want to spit, and he forgot where he was. Do you think that’s why I went over to talk to him?”

“Sounds like something he would do.”

“I think Alvin lived in a dream world most of his life. But anyway, I’m finished rambling about him now, I promise. Goodnight, Joe.”

“Goodnight, Julia.”

I never found a way to lie on that mattress that didn’t hurt a lot, but I don’t think that was the reason it took me forever to go to sleep that night. It felt as if more had happened to me that day than in my whole life up to that time, and so instead of sleeping I just lay there trying to remember it all. Sneaking out that morning. The terrible walk through the valley. Trying to drink the fountain, and then seeing Alvin there. The cab. The motel. The little birthday cupcake that the hotel manager had. Then Julia. I knew something about the way she talked about my brother felt familiar, and lying in the dark I finally realized that it reminded me of school, before I stopped going, how they always made us read books and discuss them. I never tried to read any of the books, but I listened to everyone else talk about them. The teacher was always bugging the kids to say important things about the books, and everyone except me eventually learned to do it. And that’s how Julia talked about Alvin. I had never thought so hard about a person in my life, and I felt a little guilty for listening to her do it, and for thinking a little harder about him myself. I think maybe if Julia really loved Alvin, she wouldn’t think about him quite so hard. And trying to understand him clearly wasn’t helping her, because she was frowning as she slept, wrinkling up the whole top of her nose. I thought maybe if I went over and kissed the center of her forehead, it would smooth out her whole face, like shaking out a towel. But while I was deciding whether to actually do it, I finally fell asleep.

In the middle of the night, I woke up to find Julia talking again. She was lying on her back, moving her arms and legs like she was climbing a ladder. “What are we going to do?” she was saying. “I just have no idea how to handle this.”

“What’s wrong?”

She sat straight up in the bed, totally still. “Who’s going to make breakfast tomorrow? That’s what I want to know. What are we going to eat?” She started to panic again, swinging her arms faster now. I got out of bed and went over to try to calm her down.

“We can go to McDonald’s,” I said. “Or we can go back to the same diner. We can go anywhere you want.”

“It’s going to be too late. We should have planned it earlier.” Her eyes were wide open, but she wasn’t looking at anything, just staring through the wall in front of her as if it wasn’t there. I realized that Julia was still asleep. I’d seen Marcus do this a few times, but when he talked in his sleep, he never said more than a couple of words, and you could never understand him. Julia was different. She talked a lot, and you could understand her perfectly, and she’d tell you things she’d never say when she was awake.

“I promise we’ll have enough breakfast,” I said. “Everybody’s going to get enough to eat.”

“I don’t understand how you two can be brothers.”

“Who, me and Alvin?”

“How can you be his twin, when you’re so much stronger than he is?”

“I don’t know. I’ve always been really strong.”

She wouldn’t stop flailing around. None of her covers were tucked in anymore. “What exactly is our plan for food tomorrow morning? That’s what nobody will tell me.”

“I’m telling you right now.”

“It’s not like I want all this responsibility. But if I don’t worry about it, who will?”

“I’m taking care of it. You’re sleeping, Julia. Just try to close your eyes again.”

She couldn’t hear any of the words I said, but the sound of my voice seemed to be calming her down. “I’m going to take care of it,” I said again, and then kept talking in this very gentle way, until gradually she stopped moving around so much. Eventually she lay completely still and closed her eyes. I tucked in her covers again, and then kissed her forehead just like I had wanted to all day, and she slept without talking for the rest of the night.

CHAPTER THREE

When I woke up
it was already the afternoon and Julia was coming out of the bathroom wrapped in this big fluffy towel. Her hair was all wet and she smelled like shampoo. “Get up, Joe. We slept almost twelve hours.”

“What’s happening?”

“Shouldn’t we go see if your brother will let you back in?”

That was the last thing I felt like doing, but I couldn’t think of a way out. I got dressed, and gave some food to Alvin’s doggie, and then we took the elevator down and got into the car. Julia never mentioned talking in her sleep the night before. I don’t think she had any idea that she’d done it.

Driving was even easier for me that morning than the day before. On the way, Julia wanted to know why Alvin and Marcus hated each other. I couldn’t think of a great answer. All I could remember was this one time when our Uncle Ruby hired this old woman to teach us Italian. Alvin and Marcus and I would sit around with her all day trying to read these really colorful Italian magazines, and the old woman would never give us any help at all, because she said the language would come more naturally if we discovered it ourselves. After a few weeks we realized she didn’t speak any Italian at all. Alvin really loved that. That’s exactly the kind of thing that made Alvin really happy. But Marcus had a huge problem with it, and said something to our uncle. When our Italian teacher ended up getting fired, Alvin was so mad he wouldn’t talk to Marcus for a year. I was surprised when the whole story came back to me right there in the car with Julia, because I hadn’t thought about it since.

“But how long ago was this?” she asked.

“We were just a bunch of tiny little kids.”

“And that’s it? That’s the reason they still don’t get along?”

“I think that’s one of the reasons. I guess you can ask him yourself.”

All the apartment buildings in Sherman Oaks looked basically the same to me, with the iron fences and the same community swimming pool, and even after a year it sometimes took me a second to remember which one I lived in. Outside, I noticed that the dumpster was filled with piles of clothes, and a chair, and the smashed pieces of a dresser, and a bunch of shoes, and a pretty good rock collection, and some basketball posters. It all belonged to me. Marcus had thrown all my stuff away.

I rang the doorbell a few times before Marcus came to the door in nothing but a towel. He had shaving cream all over his chest.

“Hi Marcus.” I tried to smile at him, but he wouldn’t even look at me. “Julia, this is my brother Marcus.”

“Really nice to meet you.” Julia beamed at him and offered her hand. Marcus wasn’t in a friendly mood, but he shook it anyway.

“You called here yesterday,” he said.

“That’s right.”

“You’re Alvin’s girlfriend.”

“I used to be. But that’s not why I’m here.” Julia giggled. For some reason meeting Marcus was making her act very young. “Joe said maybe I could use your computer. I’m going to see if I can find an earlier flight.”

“But Joe doesn’t live here anymore. How could he be inviting over any guests?”

“Please don’t be mad at him. I made him stay out late yesterday because I was scared to be alone. But he was worried about you the whole time. He didn’t want to let you down.”

Marcus crossed his arms and looked at me for the first time. “What happened? Did your big plan with Alvin fall through?”

“How was your game last night, Marcus?” I asked.

“Hotly contested. But we managed to squeeze out a three-point victory.”

“I bet you scored a million points.”

“I grabbed a crucial rebound in the closing seconds.”

“That’s pretty great. Should we all go in now?”

Marcus turned to Julia. “Joe thinks that four seconds of flattering small talk can wipe away the unbelievable disrespect he shows for all my hospitality. He believes he has some natural-born right to live rent-free in my apartment while disregarding everything I say. But he doesn’t realize that this time it’s too late. I’ve already started to convert his room into a private gymnasium.”

“It doesn’t matter,” I said. “I can sleep anywhere.”

“Why should I, Joe?”

“Are you serious?” said Julia. “Where is he supposed to sleep?”

“He should have thought of that when he ran away yesterday.”

“You’re going to turn away your own brother?”

“I seriously doubt that you have any conception of Joe’s unbelievable disrespect for everyone around him. I stated my ultimatum very clearly, and he decided to ignore it.”

Julia just smiled back at Marcus as he kept talking at her in this very mean and superior way. Then I saw him get an idea. He turned to me and smirked. “All right, I’ll tell you what. If you play basketball with me, right now, then you can move back in.”

“Right now?” Playing basketball with Marcus was about the last thing I felt like doing, but I also didn’t feel like sleeping in the street that night. He was pretty excited when I agreed. I think he’d really been practicing a lot.

“If I detect anything less than the maximum effort from you, the agreement is void.”

He opened the door and we followed him inside, where all these weights and building tools and lumber were stacked all over the place.

“I must have known what a softie I’d be—how easily I’d fold—because I haven’t thrown away your bed yet. No matter how harshly I’m punished for my sense of family obligation, I just can’t seem to get rid of it.” He turned to Julia. “Basic manners dictate an invitation to join us for dinner, but this basketball game may take a while. You may use the computer in the kitchen while you wait. We also have an excellent collection of DVDs or, if you prefer to read, you will find the bookshelves filled with fascinating and informative books. Help yourself to any beverage from my refrigerator. You will find them all powerfully chilled.”

“You’re so funny,” said Julia. “You’re not like Joe or Alvin. How can three brothers turn out so differently? Is your middle name Lou?”

“No, why?”

“I just think Marcus Lou would be a really good name for you. Why do you shave your chest?”

“What?”

“You have shaving cream on your chest.”

Marcus looked down and wiped some of the shaving cream off. “It makes me feel clean. Are you going to wait here?”

“Maybe I could take a little nap.”

“Feel free to nap on the living room sofa. And of course you’ll stay out of any room I didn’t specifically mention.”

“Good luck,” said Julia.

Julia took a nap on the sofa while Marcus and I went down to this huge park we had three blocks away. Along with basketball they also had a bunch of baseball diamonds, and some grass and tennis courts and picnic tables and some trees. There was a very angry full-court game happening on one of the basketball courts, but the other one was empty, so that’s where we played. The paint lines were worn down and the nets were all torn off, but the rims were good and always pretty friendly to me. Marcus’s uniform was so shiny that I could almost see my reflection in his shorts. I played in the clothes I had on.

I could do basically anything I wanted on a basketball court, because this one time I did nothing but play basketball for fifteen years, and so I got extremely good. That day in the park I fell in love with the rim right away. I made almost all of my shots while Marcus made us play best out of three, and then best out of five, and then best out of seven. Even after it got dark and we were playing in the lights from the tennis courts, and everybody else had gone home, he only quit because he got so angry that he kicked the ball way over onto one of the baseball diamonds, where some kids picked it up and ran away with it.

“These rims are virtually unplayable,” he told me as we were walking home. And then, “You know, she’s not really that pretty.”

“What?”

“Julia. With that birthmark on her neck? For Alvin to fall that hard for a girl, you’d think she would be perfect.”

I hadn’t noticed any birthmark on Julia’s neck, but when we got back I saw that Marcus was right. It was right below her ear, about halfway up her neck, maybe the size of a kernel of corn. But I still couldn’t understand what Marcus was talking about. It’s not like she would have been any prettier without that birthmark.

She’d gone shopping after her nap, and was cooking cheeseburgers in the kitchen when we got back. The apartment was warm and smelled like dinner. Marcus had me scoop some avocados while he took a shower, and then he mashed together a bunch of guacamole in a bowl.

“This was a great breakthrough,” he told Julia. “We didn’t discover until Joe was fourteen that he would eat guacamole, as long as it was on a cheeseburger.”

“I love it,” I admitted.

We sat around on the living room couches and ate the cheeseburgers and guacamole off plastic trays. Marcus told a long story about the bus breaking down on the way to his summer league game, but I can’t remember any of it. Then as he was finishing up his beer, he asked Julia how Alvin had been wasting all his time in Tennessee. I don’t think she liked the question, and for a second I thought she might throw her plate at him or something, but instead she just kicked off her shoes. I can remember being surprised by how tough and strong her feet looked, like she’d been walking barefoot on a mountain. Her feet looked so much tougher than she did.

“He had a full-time job, for your information,” she said.

“That’s pretty hard to believe,” said Marcus.

“He worked every day from eight to four, and sometimes longer.”

“Okay. But did he eventually get fired?”

“It just didn’t work out.”

“I guess that means he did.” Marcus laughed, and opened another beer, and offered one to her too.

“What makes you think I drink beer?”

“I thought all the kids drank beer these days.”

“They do?” Julia turned to me. “You drink beer, Joe?”

“I hate the taste of beer.”

“It makes no difference to me if you drink a beer,” said Marcus to Julia. “I was only offering it as a friendly gesture.”

“Oh. In that case, I guess I can drink one beer.”

Julia took the beer and gave Marcus a little toast before she took a sip. I thought the beer was Marcus’s nice way of telling her that he was done insulting Alvin, but it turned out he was only getting started.

“So what went wrong with Alvin’s employment situation?” he asked. “Did he turn out to be totally irresponsible? Did he make a bunch of promises he didn’t keep?”

“I told you. It just didn’t work out.”

“Is that also why you two broke up?”

“I have an idea,” said Julia. “Why don’t we talk about your love life for a little while? Then we can move on to mine.”

“No, my love life isn’t interesting at all. I don’t have Alvin’s smoldering good looks and dangerous flair. I don’t leave a trail of drama and destruction everywhere I go.”

“What’s your problem with him, anyway?”

“With Alvin?” Marcus seemed surprised. “He didn’t tell you?”

“No.”

“I guess that’s not surprising. I doubt meaningful communication was a huge part of your relationship. Do you even know what happened to our parents?”

“Yes.”

“What did he tell you? That they’re stuck in North Korea? That they became political prisoners?”

“Yes.”

Marcus just laughed. He never believed our parents had been kidnapped in the Pacific. He thought Alvin had made the whole thing up, and they’d actually been killed in a car crash on Hollywood Boulevard. He didn’t even think our parents had been secret diplomats. But I guess he didn’t feel like arguing about it right now.

“Did he tell you who raised us?”

“Uncle Ruby.”

“Uncle Ruby?” Marcus laughed again, louder this time, and I think he might have burped right in the middle of it, because I could smell the beer in his breath all the way across the coffee table. “Uncle Ruby was an old college buddy of my father’s. He signed the necessary papers to keep us out of foster homes, but he lived on the East Coast most of the year. Uncle Ruby never raised anyone. We raised ourselves. Didn’t you ever wonder why Alvin didn’t need to go to high school while he wasted all that time in Tennessee?”

“He was taking a year off.”

“Is that what he told you? When do you think was the last time he went to school?”

“It’s not like I spent all my time interrogating him.”

“He didn’t tell you that either.” Marcus was so happy now. “Sounds like you guys had an incredible connection.” Now he turned to me. “When was the last time Alvin went to high school, Joe?”

“I can’t remember.” Whatever Marcus was trying to do, I wasn’t going to help him by answering any questions.

“Should I give you a hint?”

“Pretty early on,” I said. “Towards the beginning, I guess.”

“He dropped out in his first week of freshman year,” said Marcus. “And why was that, Joe?”

“You know why.”

“But I want to see if you remember. What was Alvin’s big idea that couldn’t wait?”