This Time (21 page)

Mike looked hesitant for a moment but finally whispered, “Good morning.” His voice was still rough with sleep, and the sound sent shivers down her spine despite the tendrils of trepidation she still felt.

“Maddie’s in the shower, and I’ve got our clothes, so I’ll go next.” Tara kissed him again, the last lingering doubts fleeing from her mind.

Wrapping his arm around her, Mike pulled her closer and whispered, “I would really like to shower with you one day. For that matter, I would really like to wake up with you in my arms too.” He buried his face in her neck, inhaled, and then bit gently on her neck before pulling away.

“Soon. Maybe you’ll be out of here in time for the four-day weekend in January.” Tara sat up and ran her hand across his chest and then pushed his shirt back up so she could touch his skin.

“Mmm.” Mike flexed his chest muscles and arched himself into her hands like a cat begging to be petted. Tara smiled and used her nails in a soft scratch and then ran her hands through the springy hair. She made a mental note to further explore his entire body when she had the time and opportunity. They’d been rushed because of the circumstances, and she wanted ample opportunity to rediscover his body.

“You’re thinking pretty hard about something, baby.” Mike covered her hand with his to stop the petting.

Tara tilted her head and smiled. “I was just thinking that, while I’m looking forward to you being closer to us and getting to know Maddie, I am also
really
looking forward to a leisurely weekend in bed.”

Mike grinned and wrapped his big, warm hand around her neck and pulled her down. “Me too,” he said before kissing her. His tongue was hot, sliding between her teeth to touch her own.

“Mommy!” Madelynn’s voice called from the bathroom. “I’m finished!”

Tara tried to pull away, but Mike held her bottom lip trapped between his. He sucked lightly and rubbed his tongue against the imprisoned lip before letting her go with a grin. Tara blinked at him, dazed. Then she grinned back, tapped on his chest, and stood up to go help Madelynn dry off and dress.

Maddie stood in the middle of the bathroom, dripping all over the floor and scrubbing her wet hair furiously.

“Here, honey.” Tara took over towel-drying Madelynn’s hair and rubbed until it was at least mostly dry. She reached for the comb on the sink, and then decided that Michael would probably enjoy combing the tangles out of Maddie’s hair. Tara dried Madelynn off completely and then helped her put on her clean clothes from the day before. “I think we’ll let Michael comb your hair while I take a shower, okay?”

Madelynn nodded and asked, “Does he like combing hair because his is so short?”

Tara laughed and said, “I don’t know if he likes combing hair. But we’ll find out, won’t we?”

Mike’s voice called from the next room, “I’ve never combed a little girl’s hair, but I’d be willing to try if Maddie will teach me.”

Maddie grinned over her shoulder at Tara, her green eyes sparkling and her dimples shining. Tara’s breath caught as, for an instant, she was struck by Madelynn’s similarity to Mike and overwhelmed with the events of the past two days. Maddie’s father was back and ten times better than he’d ever been. They had a chance to be a whole family, and Tara wanted that more than she’d ever realized. Blinking back tears, she ushered Madelynn out of the bathroom and hefted her onto the bed next to Mike.

He took the comb from her, and she watched Madelynn collapse into hysterics as he tried to comb her hair with the back side of the comb. Mike scratched his head and continued being silly. Tara smiled and took her own clothes into the bathroom and started the shower. She stood under the spray for several minutes, contemplating the latest development in her previously nonexistent love life.

She’d made a split-second decision yesterday by initiating sex with Michael. Initiating it the second time, anyway. The idea had been circling her mind like a vulture for weeks, and it had suddenly chosen a landing spot with startling abruptness. She was stuck on Mike and always had been. Their second chance was happening now, and she would never be able to move on unless she knew irrevocably there was no future for them. And so, with those thoughts in her mind, she’d skipped the first stage of dating and headed right into sex with him. Just like last time.

Tara squirted shampoo into her hands and lathered her hair, smiling wryly. They’d done the dating thing more than five years ago. Mike had run away screaming. She shook her head, determined not to think about that. If she thought about it, there was a fairly good chance that she would snatch Madelynn up and skip town for good. Tara had always believed that history repeated itself, and initially that thought had kept her hesitations firmly rooted. But it hadn’t taken long to figure out that unless she and Mike worked out their feelings, both past and present, they were going to have a very difficult time with Mike’s new role as daddy.

This, Tara thought in amusement, is why the warm water felt so good to aching muscles that hadn’t been used in years. It’s why she had just a touch of soreness between her legs and why little love bruises covered her breasts and thighs. It was impossible to be upset about her spontaneity yesterday, though. After all, that same spontaneity had given her Madelynn, and it had gotten her here for Christmas.

Tara scrubbed her hair absently, the faint giggles from the next room making her grin and then sputter as shampoo suds slid into her mouth.

Mike and Maddie raised their voices together and yelled, “Aye, aye, captain!” A few seconds went by, and Mike’s deep, booming voice combined with Maddie’s again in another, “Aye, aye, Captain!”

Tara giggled. They must be watching SpongeBob.

She finished her shower, dressed in the freshly washed clothes, and walked out, drying her hair with a towel.

Mike and Maddie were reclined on the bed, his arm around her, and her tiny face nestled against his powerful bicep. His cheek rested on top of her head, and despite his closed eyes, Mike’s expression betrayed more emotion than she would have ever thought possible. A final cord of tension Tara hadn’t been aware of somewhere inside her broke, and she felt lighter and freer than she had since that pregnancy test had shown two pink bars. Madelynn had a father.

Mike opened his eyes and met hers, and the fine mist of tears in them nearly brought Tara to her knees.
This
is what I’ve been missing.
He held his hand out to her, and she dropped the towel and moved into his arms. They lay curled there, watching two entire episodes of SpongeBob before Madelynn lost interest.

* * * *

They were leaving the next day. They were leaving, and he couldn’t stand it. What would he do without Madelynn to charm him into playing games and coloring? What would he do without a few precious stolen minutes with Tara?

The day had flown by. One minute Mike was combing the tangles out of Madelynn’s wet hair, the next they were eating take-out Mexican food for dinner, getting ready to say good-bye. He tried to eat the enchiladas, but each bite tasted like sawdust. After Tara picked up take-out, they’d spent the day inside despite Madelynn’s repeated requests to play in the snow. They’d played games and colored and talked about school. When Madelynn took her nap curled under his blanket, Mike sat and watched her, content to stroke her hair and murmur his love while she was asleep.

He was aware of Tara’s eyes on him the entire time, though she remained silent and allowed him his moment. Mike was grateful for that, for her quiet understanding. And when Madelynn woke from her nap and begged to go play with the other children, he told her she could go despite how much he wanted to keep her there.

When Tara returned from dropping Madelynn off at daycare, they watched each other in silence for a long moment. Finally, when Mike thought the tension was more than he could bear, she took a tentative step toward him.

“Come here,” Mike commanded and then extended his hand to her from his position sitting upright on the bed.

Tara hesitated again, and he muffled a frustrated moan. “Please, Tara,” he said through tears he would not let spill. He’d cried enough in front of her, for God’s sake. This time she seemed to sense his desperation and moved toward him and took his hand.

Mike didn’t pull her down to the bed as he knew she’d expected. Instead he held her hand in his, savoring her nearness, stroking his thumb across her palm.

Tara wrapped the other hand around his neck and pulled him into her. Mike buried his head between her breasts and filled his lungs with her scent. She smelled so good! God knew when he’d get to smell her, touch her, love her again.

“Mike, I…”

“Shh,” he whispered against her softness. He pulled his head away and looked up at her. Unable to stop himself any longer, Mike pulled her into his lap and leaned back. His bed was in an upright position, so they were both still essentially sitting up. Tara straddled his lap immediately and rose above him.

“No, I need to say this, Mike.”

“Later,” he muttered, desperate to postpone whatever Tara was going to say because it was probably going to suck. Mike pulled her head down to him and set his lips against hers.

Tara pulled away, and in a soft voice said, “No, now.”

Mike sighed and dropped his head. “Okay.” He just wanted to make love to her, just once more, before she went home and remembered all the reasons why she should never speak to him again.

Tara took his face between her hands and forced him to look at her. His stomach knotted.

“You are going to be a wonderful father to Madelynn.” She took a deep breath, and his heart dropped in nervous anticipation of her next words. “And you and I are going to figure this out as soon as you get home.” She kissed him gently and said, “So hurry up and come home.”

“Okay,” Mike whispered, unable to give voice to all the words circling inside him. Instead he met her lips, gently at first and then with increasing pressure. Her tongue stroked against his, touching and caressing, while her hands tested the firmness of his chest.

Mike pulled away, needing to defend himself, explain why he’d let his body go soft. “I’m a little out of shape. I don’t get as much time in the gym as I need to here.”

Tara rolled her eyes and then laughed. “Mike, you are not out of shape. You’re so…so…” She pressed her fingertips into his chest and then his abs and arms. “Hard,” she finished.

Mike couldn’t stop the smile from stretching his lips as he said, “If you’re looking for hard, check a little lower.” He tugged her hands down to where his erection pushed against the fabric of his jeans. “There,” he said, leaning back to enjoy it as her fingers explored him. “That’s where you need to look if you want something hard.”

Tara gave him an exasperated smile, and he laughed. She had always called him out when Mike was being cocky. Being cocky was just part of who he was, part of being a SEAL. Even when Tara hadn’t been around, it had always been her voice in his head telling Mike that he was being an over-the-top ass.

His laughter cut off with a groan when she rubbed the sensitive head. Tara’s smile changed then from mocking to one full of promises. Mike watched her soft, small hands as she pulled away the denim and freed him from his boxers.

Tara stroked him several times until she’d drawn forth a steady stream of precum. When she moved down his body to take him in her mouth, Mike stopped her.

“No,” he said at her inquiring look. “Ride me.”

Tara bit her lip and looked back at the door before getting to her feet to lock it. On the way back to the bed, she unsnapped her own jeans and slid them to the floor along with her underwear.

“Shirt and bra too,” Mike demanded roughly. Tara fingered the fabric of her shirt for a few moments, and he held his breath while she debated. She couldn’t deny him this, not now. He needed it. Needed to see her rising above him, her heavy breasts swaying as she sank onto his throbbing cock.

Mike’s breath hissed out when she complied and pulled her shirt over her head before slipping her arms out of the bra. It struck Mike suddenly that Tara was standing stark naked in the hospital room of what was, essentially, a dangerous mental patient. It was a sobering—and somewhat humorous—realization, but not one that could stop him.

He shook his head to dispel the thought and held his hand out to her. “Say something,” he whispered.

“What do you want me to say?” Tara whispered back.

That you love me. That you’ll stay with me. That you’ll just let me be near you for the rest of my life.

Mike remained silent, though, and pulled her toward him until she’d settled herself on his lap, his cock straining toward the moist curls that hid her from his sight. Instead of urging her to lift so he could slide himself inside of her, he trailed his fingers along her collarbone and down to her breasts. Mike watched Tara as he touched her nipples, keeping the touch so light he could barely feel the ridges of the hardened points. Her breath
swooshed
from her lungs, and he looked up at her face. Her eyes were closed, and her head was tilted back.

He licked his thumb and nestled it amidst the curls between her legs, searching for the little nub that would make her cry out, make her remember that it was him, it was
Mike
that could make her feel so good. He found it and massaged and then inhaled a sharp breath when he felt the trickle of moisture that seeped from her body.

He rubbed until Tara was arching her hips into his fingers and then urged her to rise. Mike positioned himself at her entrance and put his hands on her hips and pulled her onto him. He watched his cock disappear inside of her; his hands shook with the hunger that swelled in him because of it.

Mike watched as she rose and fell on him, his body trembling with a violent need to grab her hips and slam himself deep. Tara was so lush, so sensual, he wasn’t going to last long despite how much he wanted this to continue. He searched in her curls again, the lips parted and wet from sliding onto his thick erection. He’d barely touched her, just a slight caress, when she cried out and ground her hips against his.