Thorn: Carter Kids #2 (38 page)

“I know I’ve screwed everything up. I get it, but you need to understand that your life terrifies me, Noah,” I cried out. “Your choices, your history, your mood swings, and how you make me feel all scare me to death. You
terrify
me, Noah!” I choked out, panting, as adrenalin rushed through my veins. “But when I’m with you, I feel safe, and alive, and like I belong. You do that to me,” I told him. “You bring those emotions out of me. No one else.”

“You think it’s any different for me?” he shot back, chest heaving. “You are the only thing I am afraid of on this planet,” he roared. “You have the ability to destroy me. I
never
put myself in the position to be hurt before you and you rip me open daily. You’re the one who’s treacherous.”

Shaking my head, I let out a harsh cry. “What’s the fucking point anyway?” I choked out. “Nothing I can say can fix this or rewind the last seven years.”

Leaning against the door, I threw my hands in the air in weary defeat. I was in the wrong. I knew it. He knew it. But now I accepted it, and that made it hard to breathe. I felt like a knife was piercing through my heart, tearing strips off my soul. “There’s no way you can still want me –”

“I will
always
want you, Teagan,” he shot back, his voice thick with emotion. “There will
always
be a way back for us.” I watched as Noah clenched and unclenched his fists as he struggled to stay still. “Keep going,” he ordered in a tight tone of voice as a vein in his neck throbbed. “Get it all fucking out, I
need
to hear it.”

“I’ve spent the best part of a decade believing I wasn’t good enough for you. Believing that I wasn’t good enough to
keep
you,” I admitted, voice broken, with tears streaming down my cheeks as my emotions boiled over. “I know I was wrong, but back then all I knew was that the one person who I trusted more than my own family, who I loved more than anyone on this planet, had betrayed me. And even then, I
still
wanted you and that made me hate myself more than I’ve ever hated you.” Shaking my head I exhaled a broken sigh. “And then you were released and I never heard from you. Months later you’re everywhere; the television, the Internet, the papers. And I had to watch you with those girls, rubbing it in my face on the TV. I couldn’t cope with the rejection or the pain so I ran to the one person who I knew wanted me. Liam was safe; he couldn’t hurt me because I didn’t have any room left inside of me to store the pain. You say you want me, Noah, but I didn’t know that back then…so I tried to move on from you. I tried to force myself into believing Liam was what was right for me –”

“He’s not what’s right for you, Teagan,” Noah hissed. His eyes never left mine as he took a step back and said, “he’s what’s
safe
for you. I’m what’s
right
for you. Me.” He beat his fist against his chest and that small passionate display of male dominance caused me to clench tight in anticipation. “That fucker wants you,” Noah snarled. “Wants inside what’s
mine
.”

Regaining the space he had put between us in two short strides, Noah placed his hands on either side of my face and stared into my eyes for a long moment. “I’m going to fuck him right out of you,” he growled before slamming his body against mine and claiming my mouth with his in a kiss so rough, my heartbeat soared and my core pulsed with need. I could taste his blood on my tongue as it dueled with mine, plunging into my mouth, owning me, taking me over.

Pulling back, Noah took my bottom lip between his teeth and tugged hard. “This is mine,” he hissed, dropping his hand to cup my pussy. “From here on out, this belongs to
me
. You got it?”

There were no words in my vocabulary in that moment that I could squeeze out. I wasn’t a submissive woman, but this man…he broke all my rules. Nodding my head, I sagged against him, wanting him to claim me, needing to forget that I had let another man touch me where only Noah had before.

“He doesn’t love you. He wants to possess you – because you walked away from him…when he’s had his fill, he will walk away from you and you will be alone.”

Liam’s words impaled my brain and I tore my mouth away from Noah’s. “Tell me you’re with me for more than revenge,” I asked, breathless and panting.

“What?” Noah grumbled, breathing hard, his eyes never leaving my face. “Are you for real?”

“Tell me all of this is not just to prove a point. Noah,” I repeated. “Tell me you’re not going to walk away from me when you get bored.”

Dropping his hands from my face, he turned around and strode over to the opposite side of the room and opened the bathroom door. “I don’t fucking believe this,” he said, laughing humorlessly before disappearing inside only to reappear in the doorway a few moments later with a black t-shirt in his hands.

Tossing it towards me, he said, “Put this on,” before gesturing at my ripped dress. “I can’t look at you like that.”

“Tell me, Noah,” I growled as I caught the shirt mid-air and flung it down on the bed.

“Tell you what?” he demanded. “That everything I’ve done – every fight, every training session, every drop of blood I’ve spilled, and every ounce of blood I’ve shed – has been for you? For this moment? To be standing in front of you, looking into your eyes, and showing you how much you mean to me?”

I opened my mouth to speak but Noah got there before me.

“I memorized every inch of you. I fucking loved you even when I hated you most,” he roared hoarsely. “You broke my trust, Thorn, you ripped my goddamn heart out of my chest, but you’re
still
the only one I want by my side. At my lowest point all I wanted was you. At my highest point all I want is you. I must be a masochistic bastard because after all these years and all this pain I still want to halve my soul with you. Split myself down the center and give you ownership of me.”

Exhaling heavily, he added, “Is that enough honesty for you, Teagan, or would you rather just go on doubting my intentions?”

Noah didn’t give me a chance to answer before disappearing into the bathroom again and this time he closed the door behind him.

Seconds later the sound of shower running filled my ears.

Letting it sink in, all his words of love and promise, I felt shame. Shame for denying this man for so long. Knowing I had to do something to fix this, I stripped off my clothes, crept over to the door, and slipped inside. My eyes honed in on Noah and I moaned in appreciation.

He was standing in the shower with his back to me, head bent, as the water cascaded over his huge muscular frame.

My eyes drifted over every inch of his skin, soaking in his raw masculine beauty, studying the huge black tattoo that covered the whole of his back. I lowered my gaze and my core clenched. He had an ass that I swear to god, you could crack walnuts with. Everything was just so… tight and firm. I wanted to taste every inch of his skin to see if it still tasted the same, felt the same. He was more of a man than I had ever seen.

Padding over the cold marble tiles, I drew back the glass door of the shower and stepped inside.

His body tensed when I wrapped my arms around his stomach. The atmosphere changed almost instantly, thickening, and I honestly didn’t know which way this was going to go. But then he exhaled heavily, covered my hands with his, and my body sagged in relief.

“I’m so sorry, baby,” I whispered, pressing a kiss to his back. He needed to hear this, and in this moment, I would say and do whatever it took to ease his pain. “For everything.”

“Thorn…” he groaned, squeezing my hand.

“I never stopped loving you,” I choked out, kissing his back again and again. “You’re still my
in
.”

His big body shuddered, his head bowed, and it humbled me to know that I affected him like this. “Don’t play with me,” he whispered in such a tender and uncertain voice that I wanted to cry. “Don’t tell me this if you’re gonna take it away again.”

“I won’t,” I vowed. My heart was hammering so hard I thought it would burst through my chest. “Let me back in, Noah, and I won’t let you down again. I
promise
.”

Reaching around, Noah caught my arm and drew me up against his chest. “You better be damn sure about this, Thorn,” he croaked out, holding me flush against him as the water poured down on us. “Because I’m not letting you go again.” Dropping his face, he said, “if you’re with me, you’re with me for life. No more chasing after you. No more games.”

Nodding my head, I whispered, “I’m in,” before raising my face to his and claiming his mouth, kissing him deep and slow. His tongue snaked out and dueled with mine, as we held onto each other. It was slow and sensual and everything I had been missing all these years.

Wrapping my arms around his neck, he hoisted me up and took a step forward, pressing me against the wall of the shower, caging me in with his beautiful body.

I knew I was playing a dangerous game, I wasn’t on birth control, but I couldn’t deny this man entry to my body. So I opened my legs willingly, giving myself up completely, wanting nothing more than to be with him.

“I was always coming back for you, Teagan,” he said hoarsely as he pressed against me. “I just needed to get my life in order first. I needed to have something to offer you…a better life than the one you had. I wanted to make you love me so hard you would forget where
you
started and
I
ended.”

“Mission accomplished,” I whispered, barely breathing.

Smiling, Noah slipped inside me in one fluent movement, filling me up. The wetness of our bodies caused the friction inside me to ignite as we slipped and slid against each other.

His hands never left my face and his lips never left my lips as he slowly rocked into me. We barely moved. We just swayed in and out, reveling in being together again as one. Each claiming the other. Showing each other how much this night meant, how pivotal this moment in time was for us. No foreplay. No fooling around.

Tonight was about becoming one again.

HE STOOD NAKED IN THE MIDDLE
of the bedroom, the epitome of male virility. With a towel wrapped around his shoulders, he showed no shame, no shyness; he was just completely at ease with who he was and what he looked like. The muscles. The sheer masculine dominance set me on fire. I was excited, tingling, and drooling just watching him do something as mundane as dry himself off.

“You’re staring.”

“Can you blame me?”

Noah snorted and continued to towel dry his hair.

I waited for him to climb into bed before asking, “What happened here?” His skin was dusted in scars. Some I remembered and some I didn’t. I trailed my fingers over the rigid silver line on his ribcage and then to the one just below it.

“Knife wound,” he drawled lazily as he laid on his back, allowing me to explore him. “That one too.”

“And this?” I whispered, moving lower, resting my palm on the largest welt marking his beautiful body. I felt him shudder beneath my touch. “How did you get this?”

“That’s a burn mark, Thorn,” he croaked out, covering my hand with his. “From the car crash.”

“You were burned that night?” I managed to squeeze out. Memories of the flames around the car Noah and I had been trapped in flooded me and I flinched. “I’m so sorry,” I choked out.