Three of Diamonds (Hamden Series) (32 page)

When she reached the door, she pulled out the key he had given her earlier, so not to wake Boyd by ringing the doorbell. Closing the door quietly behind her, she entered the darkened room, but was startled when a deep, husky voice came from the corner by the window.

“I like seeing you walk through my door.”

“Hey. You startled me.”

He clicked on the light next to him, sending a warm glow into the room.

“You okay, Sunshine? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

She swallowed hard and answered, “Nope, haven’t seen anything.” It wasn’t a lie, she hadn’t seen anybody staring in the window with binoculars, but she needed to get her nerves under control. “How’s Boyd? Everything go alright?”

Wes noticed immediately something was not right, but knew if he pressed her now, she would just clam up and he planned on her opening up to him tonight. About everything.

“He was fine. Kicked my can on Madden, gorged himself with pizza and soda and was out cold by ten.” Shaking his head, Wes chuckled before finishing, “you aren’t kidding, he sleeps like the dead,” as he chuckled again, “snores like a troll, too.”

She smiled and laughed at his observation, “Yeah, he does.”

“You want to watch a movie or would you like to just go to bed?” he asked softly, curious as to what the odd look on her face was.

Hot water sounded like the perfect cure to warm her from the inside. “I’d love a nice long hot shower, then bed, if that’s alright.”

“Shower sounds great! Do you mind some company?” Wes asked, raising from the chair and padding barefoot to her.

Wes in the shower, yes please!
“Sure.” Perhaps it will help her rinse away the feeling of paranoia. She was sure, if anyone could make her mind go elsewhere, it would be this man.

Soon they were below the spray engulfed in each other. With the cool tile at her back, and her foot up on the side seat, Wes entered her. She reveled in his slow and steady pace. There was no rush to this, it was purely about enjoying one another’s body.

Her hands cupped his ass and kneaded the firm muscles. She tipped her head back allowing him the most access to her neck. He placed long, slow open mouth kisses there, while he pulled, pinched and caressed her breast.

As her climax began to build she tried to meet his thrust by rotating her hips slowly. The increased friction, was incredible.

He felt it, too. He lowered his mouth to the breast he lifted upward. He began slowly licking and sucking, but soon the intensity was too much that she crested over the peak and cried out.

“I think you have another one in you.” Wes said, as he began a frenzied pace of hammering into her.

It was too much. The sensation was threatening to tear her in two. Quickly she was building again. Her nerve endings were igniting and ready to overload her system. Then Wes lowered his finger between their bodies and applied it to her swollen nub. Her clit recognized his touch and she flew apart, no longer able to hold her own weight. He held her upright against the wall, increasing his pace.

“I can’t!” She yelled, close to tears.

“Yes you can. Focus on the feeling and the motion of me going in and coming out. All your cream, coating my cock…claiming it.”

Oh God!
It was almost psychedelic; a kaleidoscope of feelings. The spectrum of color and sensation was too much to bear, yet fueled her body to demand another need.

“Touch yourself. Do exactly what I did just now. But use your finger. Bring yourself to the edge and let go.” Wes demanded, as he too was falling to the feeling and incredible friction.

Lola lowered her hand. Her clit was tingly to the touch. She just wiggled her finger and the catastrophic damage it was doing to her sanity was worth it. As she increased the pressure of her fingers, his thrusts did too.

Soon they were both screaming their completions and melting to the floor, where the water continued to fall, washing away all evidence of their encounter, along with most of Lola’s unease.

Ten minutes later they were both in his bed, settling in for some sleep.

“Your hair is beautiful. Suits you.”

“Thank you.”

“You are welcome.”

“Wes, do you mind closing the curtains?”

Thinking it was odd that she would ask such a thing, but of course, he would do it. “Sure thing.”

When he rejoined her back in bed, she seemed as if a weight had been lifted from her shoulders.

“Better?”

“Yes.” She answered and placed a hand on his cheek, “Thank you.”

“Tell me something,” he said, as he turned his face in her hand, placing a kiss on the middle of her palm.

Oh, please don’t figure it out!

“When was your hysterectomy?”

Lola shot upward.
OH GOD! He knows! How does he know?

Her silence confirmed what he had found.

“Please don’t hide from me. I want to know. I want to know everything there is to know about you.” He spoke, as he lifted her chin up causing her downward cast eyes to look up at him.

“How did you know?”

“You know I didn’t buy that story of a drunken selection.” Wes whispered. “Please, Lola.”

Lola looked into his blue eyes; those hypnotic depths that were clear and comforting, sexy and desire filled. They belonged to someone that has come to mean so much to her, more than she wanted to admit. His face no longer haunted her, but rather it was what she sought in a crowd or within her dreams.

“I was twenty.” She looked to the curtain-covered window, realized she was safe from prying eyes, then looked back to the set of blue. The feelings that she tried to bury all those years ago but never truly did, came back as if it just happened yesterday. She felt the sweat bead on her forehead and her hands go clammy. Wiping her palms on the sheet a couple of times, she decided to tell him everything. “It was to be a routine procedure. The morning of, when I arrived at the hospital, I found out that my doctor had a personal emergency, and that another surgeon offered to take my case. It wasn’t the first time I had this done. When I came to from the anesthesia, the nurses had told me everything went well. The doctor signed off on me to go. A few hours later, I was in a lot of pain and bleeding very heavily. I called the hospital, explained I just had the procedure, they instructed me to come back.” Lola stopped, afraid to look at him, afraid for what she might see on his face. Yes, what happened to her was tragic, but she could not handle pity…not from him. Knowing he wouldn’t accept her not continuing she softly spoke. “After a slew of ultrasounds and other tests, it was discovered that the surgeon not only nicked my fallopian tube, but also my cervix. They tried to go in and cauterize it, but it was no use.” Quietly begging her body to not crumble from the memory, she took a breath and revealed the coldness of another human being. “They said I would continue to bleed and the only option was to have everything removed.” Resistance to all the emotions overtaking her, she let the tears spillover, “but you know what the worst part was. When the little Filipino surgeon was telling me that I was never going to have children,” the last word coming out in only a whisper. Wes unable to not hold her any longer, pulled her huddled form into his chest and listened as she finished. “She made me feel like nothing more than gum on the bottom of her shoe. No remorse, no sympathy, just clear cut facts,” taking a breath and trying to stop the cascade of tears, “Anyway, after the surgery I decided rather than bear the scar on the inside, I would bare it on the outside as well. It is there, I know it is there, but I can’t see it. Just like I know I’m empty inside. ”

Lola pulled away from Wes. His comfort only told her he felt pity and that was something she would never accept. He didn’t push her or attempt again, but was hurt. He wanted nothing more than to bear the pain with her, but couldn’t, she wouldn’t allow it. Lola stiffened her back, shook her head and wiped away her own tears. Nothing more was said. Unsure of what to do or say, all he came up with was, “I’m sorry this has happened to you.”

She did not respond.

Wes watched as her pain radiated across her beautiful face, then disappeared and anger showed its ugly head.

Turning quickly to Wes, pointedly staring at him, “Now, please tell me why you felt the need to hack into my fucking privacy?”

Feeling a little guilty, he sank his head. “I’ve kissed and touched every inch of that tattoo, Lola. Not to mention I asked you about it, countless times, you only told me that ridiculous story. So, I researched the phrase as well as the meaning of the apple blossom. I put two and two together.” Lifting his head and reaching out for her once again, “Why did you feel you couldn’t tell me?”

Her eyes narrowed as she drew her hands farther away from his touch. “So, you wanted me just to come out and say I tattooed my sterile status across my back?”

Ouch! I guess I deserved that.
Whether he believed it or not, he was now starting to get a little pissed, at how little she trusted or thought of him, with something as important as this happening to her.

“I asked you a question, Lola.” He said harsher than he should.

“What? You honestly wanted to know how it took me months to comb through books at the library, just to find a Filipino translation for ‘unable to bear fruit’?” Throwing the covers away she got up and walked to the curtain covered window, and held the lush fabric just to give her hands something to do. When he said nothing, and she felt she had control over her tears and anger, she turned to him and unleashed on him further. “How I wanted the coldest, most clinical words, forever imprinted on me just like they are on my mind, on my heart.” Now she was pissed and he was going to deal with her rage. Stalking back toward him, she pointed her finger right at the center of his chest. To hell with waking Boyd, she could not and would not control the octave of her voice. “You want to know why I don’t tell people, including you? Because there IS no reason for anyone to know, that’s why. My inability to have children is as much your business as anyone else’s. No one needs to know why it is symbolic to me.” Hating that she wanted to leave and walk out, but hating it more that she found herself just crawling back into the bed. She rolled over, placing her back to him, feeling suddenly drained and thoroughly exhausted. The pain and misery was swallowing her, and she was willing to let it, but not before closing the subject. “I’m not a puzzle for you to figure out, Wes. Stop trying. I’m not perfect, never claimed to be. But I know for damn sure, I’m not one of your little Goddesses or willing slaves who participate in your pagan rituals. Just leave me the hell alone.”

That cut him…deep, “It is my business, you are my business,” he growled at her.

“I’m a fuck…remember?”

He saw red. Forcefully pulling her to her back, he leaned over her, so that they were nose to nose, “Don’t make this sound less than it is. It insults both of us. Yes, when we started this, I wanted to fuck you, but that changed almost before it began. Do you think I do these things with every woman on legs? Do you think I’ve ever sat and talked with anyone in bed, like I do with you? Do you think I’ve invited a woman to spend the night here with me, with her brother, completely okay with no definite sex on the menu? Not a chance! Before I met you, a bed only had two purposes; to sleep and to fuck.” But even as he spoke with such fury, the look on her face spoke volumes. Her stormy gray eyes were no longer strong and secretive. Instead they were pain filled and unable to control the water in them. If he had known this would be so hurtful for her, he would like to think he would never have brought it up. But even now, he knew that was a lie. He had to know…no he needed to know everything about Lola. He would not feel guilty for that. Though, he would feel bad for opening such a horrific wound and then having his hand control the salt being poured. Speaking softly as he used his thumb to wipe away her tears, “but with you, I’m different. I want to be different.” Finishing softly, begging her to read between the lines at words he never thought he would ever be saying.

He looked down at her face and without any other reason the desire began to stir in him.

Lifting himself so he covered her trembling body with his stronger one, he let his lips fall to hers. “I’m sorry I invaded your privacy. I just wish you had told me. You are so fucking beautiful. I go crazy when I’m around you. I want your taste on my tongue and to be in you, sweetheart, all the time. I think of little else. That scares the hell out of me. This is all I know. This is all I am, all I’ve ever been.”

He claimed her lips. His tongue passed by her boundary, swept in and touched her magnetism. He lowered his hand to bring her shirt up, allowing his fingers to touch her smooth skin, and skim over her belly.

“Let me.” Was all he said, and all he meant.

And she did.