Through My Eyes (22 page)

From everyone who has been given much, much will be required; and to whom they entrusted much, of him they will ask all the more.

—L
UKE 12:48

All summer,
I kept the workouts going—even when I traveled for a combination of mission trips and vacations for a total of three weeks that off-season. I was able to do it because my brothers helped me with the workouts at every stop on the trip; I was not about to lose the edge I’d built up with my teammates in the spring. And so I trained in London, Croatia, Bosnia, Thailand, the Philippines, and in the airport terminal in Frankfurt, Germany. Seven countries in three weeks, if you include the United States. Our workouts consisted of exercises with whatever equipment we could find: stairs, chin-up bars, or rough mountain roads. The materials for the workouts didn’t matter; what mattered was making sure that I got them in.

Even more important than training is having the mind-set to want to do it. Coach Mick let me borrow a book called
The Edge
. He keeps reminding me to give it back—I’m sure I will . . . one of these days. The book is full of great motivational quotes, like “The Man in the Glass.” During a workout, Coach Mick would say, “Are you going to regret what you see in the mirror tonight?” I worked harder.

Coach Mick and I had a really unique relationship. You might think that because I won the Heisman I could do most anything I wanted. Instead, I found that if everyone else worked out a certain way and for a certain time and number of reps, I felt as though, to be worthy as a leader, I would have to double their efforts. Coach Mick encouraged that side of me, but then he’d take it even further because that’s just the way he’d push me. If I ever made an excuse that I’d already done more than anybody else, he’d respond with, “Oh, so you only want to be as good as everybody else.”

It was hard to tell which one of us was more obsessive than the other.

Working like that gives you such a confidence to be able to overcome anything you face. You really are overpreparing and readying yourself for any eventuality. You don’t care how hard you get hit, because you’ve already faced harder situations over and over while working out or practicing. By overcoming all those, I knew I was more prepared to overcome whatever I faced. Coach Mick often preached to me about a quote from Michael Jordan, and being willing to take a risk:

I’ve missed more than nine thousand shots in my career. I’ve lost almost three hundred games. Twenty-six times, I’ve been trusted to take the game-winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.

As this chapter’s opening scripture says, to whom much is given much is expected. I’ve heard that scripture since I was a young boy. There’s a spiritual aspect to that, of course, which we read about in the story of the talents in Matthew 25:14–30. The basic lesson of the parable for me is that if God gave us specific talents (abilities), He wants us to maximize our talents and not bury or waste them. He wants us to go out there and double them. I think part of that is to go out there and continue to work—regardless of whether anyone is watching. This isn’t just about when we’re out there with cameras rolling and pointed in our faces. I may say I’m playing for my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. True. But it’s not just that. It’s about going out every day, in every setting, and working hard. It’s about being dedicated and playing hard because I honestly believe that God receives joy when He sees me doing that with the skills he blessed me with. When you, too, do that, He sees you living the life He has given you and loving and respecting the abilities He’s given you by working as hard as you possibly can to improve them.

In middle school, my mom assigned me to do a report on Eric Liddell, of
Chariots of Fire
fame. I was impressed by his courage of convictions, and I really identified with his statement, “I believe God made me for a purpose, but he also made me fast. And when I run I feel His pleasure.” I always thought since God gave these gifts to me, my role in that exchange was to play as hard as I could and continue giving Him the honor and glory for it. To me that would be the very best way of thanking Him for the ability. If I didn’t work as hard as I knew I could, then I think it would be a little bit like saying,
“God, thanks for giving me this ability, but I don’t really care about it. I’m going to do something else, and I’m not going to work quite as hard.”

As you can probably guess, my view leads to constantly evaluating my performance and the performances of those I count on. I was two things to this team: a leader and a Christian. As a leader, I needed to be in front and set an example. As a Christian, I needed to lead in a manner that was pleasing to Christ. This ethic can lead to conflict if those around me do not agree.

A good example of this conflict came when I was a freshman. The team was running the stadium steps one morning around six o’clock. We always began our workout when it was still dark in the Swamp. I was determined to finish first; however, to make it more meaningful, I wanted to start in the back. As I would pass each player going up the stadium steps, I would encourage them to push harder. One teammate was offended by my comments. He gave me a real bad look and said he was doing what he thought was right. I kept going and finished a long time before he did. In the locker room, and well after everyone else had gone, I asked why he was not running any harder.

To my surprise, he used God in his explanation. He said, “God told me this morning to stay back and run with this guy because I needed to encourage him.”

To be honest, I was livid. Here was a very talented athlete, a team leader, and an outspoken Christian believing God wanted him to be a bad example to the team. You can see the conflict in our thinking.

I may have overstepped, but as a leader and fellow Christian, I felt I needed to confront him. I told him that he was being extremely lazy and inappropriately using God as an excuse. “If you want to bring God and spirituality into this, then you need to obey the authorities that God has put into your life. Coach Mick and Coach Meyer are your authorities, and to not work hard after they specifically told everyone to do so, and called you out about your low effort, is wrong. Because they told you that, it is not acceptable to say that God told you to stay back and run with someone to influence or encourage him.”

After pausing to let all this sink in, I added, “Maybe if you ran harder, you would influence that person to run harder himself. You are not being a good leader to anyone by being lazy, and using God as an excuse is unacceptable.”

If this incident on the stadium steps was the only example of this attitude, I would not have mentioned it. Though it sounds harsh to say, I feel this guy’s public walk was not matching his talk at all. He was always inviting guys to go to church but as a couple of us would tell him, “We need you to go to class because there are many guys here who will follow the example you set and do what you do, or don’t do. So if you begin to do the right thing, they, in turn, will begin to do the right thing by following you.” He would sleep in and arrive late to meetings or miss class and use the excuse that he was up late at a Christian meeting on campus. Then, his entire running group on the football team would have to run extra as punishment because he missed class. Everyone in the group knew the truth, and having to run for his lack of commitment and his lack of integrity did not sit well with them.

We had several talks after that incident on the stadium steps, but he never changed his attitude, and I never viewed his lackadaisical approach or religious excuses as acceptable.

Similarly, we’d be in the weight room and Coach Mick would tell us to do fifteen reps. I’d stand behind this guy, and he’d do twelve, then stop; I’d ask if he did them all, and he’d say, “Yeah.”

In general, I don’t care for cheaters and liars, but I have a much higher standard for people who profess to be Christians. This guy was a particular challenge for me. Part of leadership is understanding those we are trying to lead—what makes them tick, what will help them share the vision—and I simply never got to that position where I understood him. To me, our Christian witness matters, and it’s what people see when they are watching us. When we think we can do less than our best, when we think others are not watching, we’re cheating ourselves and the God who created us.

To me, the best example for being tough and bold and being a Christian is, of course, demonstrated by my Savior, Jesus Christ. It’s important to stand behind what you believe in, and sometimes there are some judgment calls to be made—I understand that. Growing up, there were always those people who didn’t think that my parents should let me play sports because I sometimes missed Sunday-night church when I was in a championship game, or I would go to Wednesday-night football practice instead of Wednesday-night church service. But no matter where I was physically, my parents were always working on my heart and trying to balance that with the right amount of fellowship and growth.

This team member became a burden on my heart that never really changed. Coach Meyer could never get through to him, either, and I know it weighed on him too. So much potential wasted. As you can tell by now, this guy’s attitude was driving me crazy, and if it had been up to me, you can imagine he probably wouldn’t have been on our team if he hadn’t changed his ways.

In the meantime, however, we had other guys who were learning about matters of faith and growing in that faith. They were going to be accountable to do what was right, to do their best, because they cared about the persons next to them. I know that is a lot of what Jesus would have talked about and actually did talk about.

When I was growing up, my parents knew how competitive I was and how I always wanted to win, so they tried to point out that truth within the teachings of Christianity as well. They challenged me to win rewards in heaven and to compete for those, so God will say, “Well done, My good and faithful servant.” Whatever you do, do it with all your heart.

From the time we were very young, Mom and Dad would talk to us about sticking up for someone who was being bullied, talking to someone whom no one else would talk to, or befriending a kid who wasn’t popular at church. My parents would see us trying to do those things and would reinforce those behaviors by telling us that God will honor that action of showing His love to others as much as anything else we might do for Him. I think we should hear a lot more of that in church, or perhaps we do and I missed those times. Things like encouraging the guys who are down after practice, or talking to a kid who’s sick, or making friends with the kids who aren’t cool, even though it’s not your first reaction. Most of the time you end up having better relationships with those kids and you find out they really are cool.

In spending time talking to sick kids, I find that I get more joy in those moments than I could have imagined. Usually, you kind of go in because you think it’s right and assume they will be better for the time you spent with them. But then when you leave, you find yourself thinking,
That wasn’t the right thing just for
him
, it was the right thing for
me
.
And you leave better and blessed.

I also have a heart for people who can’t defend themselves or are not really good in sports. They tend to be taken advantage of and mistreated—bullied even. I try to stand up for them as I’ve always thought that’s the right thing to do. If God has given me the strength and the courage to play sports, the least I can do is stand up for the people who don’t have others to do it for them. That applies to any setting—whether it’s a Sunday-school class or a sports team, the worst player on the team or the best player having a bad day. That’s what my dad always said to us: try to make others feel how important they are, and find a way to make them feel involved in whatever you and your friends are doing. The message to us in living life was always about simply doing the right thing. That honored God.

And doing all those things that your coach or your parents or others in authority had asked you to do would also be honoring God. Doing what is right and doing what others in authority ask you to do demonstrates a way of treating other people the way you want to be treated.

By the time fall
was upon us, all our preparation was paying off in the confidence we had in our strength, stamina, and ability. We were ready to start the season—hungrier than we’d been all of last year. We opened the season with Hawaii, but unfortunately, it was a home game. Talk about a missed opportunity.

Last year, leading up to the Heisman, June Jones, their head coach, was trying to pay a compliment to his quarterback, Colt Brennan, but in the process, he singled me out and not necessarily in a complimentary way. On ESPN one day I heard Coach Jones say that I was just a “system quarterback.” I wasn’t sure why he felt the need to label me and diminish my play, but he later said that wasn’t what he was trying to do at all. In any event, I was looking forward to playing against his team. Unfortunately, he took the head job at Southern Methodist University before we had the chance to play Hawaii.

It was probably for the best.

We didn’t play particularly well against the Warriors from the Islands, but we still won, 56–10. Interestingly, most teams talk trash—at least a little. Not these guys—not one word. We were a little concerned because we were playing Miami the next weekend. We weren’t quite there in our execution: my timing with the receivers, my accuracy, or our connection. Fortunately, the defense played very well.

I did suffer a setback, however. Early in the game when I went to throw a block, a guy ducked as I lunged to hit him. I’m not sure how it all unfolded, but I rolled over him onto the ground, and he then ran over my right shoulder, the same one I’d hurt against Kentucky, and as a result I reaggravated the injury. I was so mad at myself. I had an AC sprain again, starting from the third play in the 2008 season.