Throwaway (13 page)

“Drinks?”

“Don’t worry; the staff will arrive in plenty
of time to clean the place up.”

Jessie merely nodded. She had never realized
how different Spence’s world was from her own. She wondered if it
had always been that way, or if it was just one more byproduct of
his new acquaintances.

It took her a while to fall asleep that
night. She lay there long into the darkness, curled around her
pillow as her mind ran wild. She missed Gabe so much the longing
twisted itself around her insides. When sleep did finally stake its
claim, her dreams were dark and turbulent.

While she did manage to wake up in time to
meet Harmony as promised, Jessie felt like she could barely drag
herself through the routine. What’s worse, Jessie found herself
unsure what to say to Harmony. Their easy camaraderie was gone and
she didn’t know how to fix that. Her friend seemed to defrost a bit
towards the end of their time together, giving Jessie hope that
time would heal the rift between them.

When she arrived back at the loft, Spence was
calling for her from his room. Despite his complaints that his leg
and face were throbbing, she denied him another dose of pain relief
for fear he’d be passed out when his guests arrived. Instead, she
concentrated on getting him ready despite the groping hands forever
hindering her progress.

When she had him dressed and as presentable
as he could be under the circumstances, she got him settled on the
couch in front of the television and turned her attention to her
own wardrobe. Her progress was interrupted by a knock at the
door.

“Plan to do some light reading?” Vance
questioned from her doorway. Jessie paused mid-mascara stroke to
cut her eyes his way.

“What are you talking about?”

“A courier just delivered this,” he held a
worn book out.

“Oh. That,” Jessie’s mind scrambled for an
explanation. One glance at the title told her who it was from. “I
requested it from a used book store this morning while I was out. I
didn’t expect it to be delivered so quickly.”

Vance merely arched an eyebrow as if he
didn’t believe a word she was saying, laying the book on the foot
of her bed before striding out of the room. She forced herself to
finish putting on her makeup before curling up in a corner chair
with the book in her lap.

She lovingly ran her fingers along the
leather binding, re-reading the title with a small smile. He’d sent
her a book about the life and death of Jesse James. When she opened
it, she instantly noticed the writing on the first page. “If found,
return to 9722 Gravois Road, Apt 35D, St. Louis, MO 61154.”

Jessie furrowed her brow. The ZIP code didn’t
seem right. The writing didn’t fit, either. It looked too new and
crisp for such worn paper. Gabe was trying to tell her something.
Until she had more to go on, she contented herself to thumb through
the comfortable pages.

She was feeling good about things by the time
Vance announced their company had arrived. One look at the
entourage in Spence’s living room told her she’d been entirely
wrong in her assumptions about who he was working with. Vance had
been right—she was in way over her head.

Sometimes the world changes and although you
know it, you forget to take that into account. This is the thought
that ran through Jessie’s brain as she registered the fact that the
family Gabe was after was not Italian, but Bosnian.

She supposed it shouldn’t matter. It wasn’t
as if the Italians were pussycats or anything. But they seemed to
have a certain restraint to them the Bosnians weren’t known
for.

St. Louis hadn’t been exactly an ethnically
diverse town when she was growing up. She was happy that had
changed. Her beloved Cherokee Street was often referred to as
Little Mexico. And in the ’90s, a flood of Bosnian refugees to
South St. Louis brought new life to a dying town. Little Bosnia was
a flourishing and vibrant community.

But with good often comes bad, and the
organized crime syndicates born in the war-torn Eastern Bloc were
hardened to say the least. Spence was a fool to have messed with
them. She knew now why the police weren’t concerned about catching
Spence; they were just hoping he’d lead them to the boss before he
got himself killed. It was a matter of when, not if.

And now they knew her face. She understood
what Gabe was telling her with the book, why he’d been so insistent
on whisking her away.

Warning bells sounded in her head as the
leader of the group leveled his gaze on her. His broad head and
close buzz cut gave him a pit bull look. The scar on his left eye
made her think he’d once been in danger of losing it. Now the orb
stood lifeless in its socket. The effect was chilling. She kept her
expression bland and tried to be nothing more than an ornament at
Spence’s side.

“You have a new girl?” the man nodded towards
Jessie. “I’d have thought you’d be too busy with other concerns
right now to be acquiring new ornaments. Even ones with legs like a
thoroughbred.”

“Jessie here has been one of my girls since
the early days,” Spence patted her as if she were indeed a horse.
“Turns out she makes a pretty nurse, too.”

Jessie wasn’t sure how to respond to that, so
she smiled and rose to refill drinks. Spence dismissed her as she
set the decanter down, dashing her hopes of gleaning anything
valuable from the visit. With one last glance at the three men in a
desperate attempt to commit their faces to memory, she excused
herself to her room where she jotted down any distinguishing
characteristics she could remember on a tissue.

Even as she did so, she felt like a fool. The
cops probably knew all of this. But she had no clue what she was
supposed to be looking for. It seemed obvious until the moment
came. Now… not so much.

She knew when his guests were gone because he
began calling her name. With a sigh, she set aside her Jesse James
book and obediently went to see what he needed. His normally olive
complexion appeared bleached; the fear was evident in his eyes. She
reminded herself that he got himself into the situation; it wasn’t
her doing.

Still, it was more than for show when she
stroked his cheek reassuringly. She pitied the man.

“It’ll be okay,” she knew her words were
hollow.

“What do you know about it?”

She ignored the insinuation in his voice and
went to get his pills off the bar, pouring him a slug of whiskey to
wash them down.

“You could make it all better,” the tone of
his voice changed. Jessie knew by that tone it had occurred to him
she’d been in his home a full twenty-four hours and they’d not had
sex once. That was a wasted day in Spence’s world.

“I could?” she replied in a sultry voice,
straddling his lap as she spoke. “Whatever do you mean?”

He leaned towards her just as she leaned
back.

“First, you’d better take your medicine,” she
held the bottle and the Jack Daniels up.

“What a good nurse,” he smiled and obliged,
in too much of a hurry to pay much heed to the number of pills
she’d given him.

“Just give me a second to slip into something
else. I think you’ll like it,” she slowly crawled off his lap,
taunting him as she went. “You just lie back and rest while I’m
gone.”

She strolled saucily back to her room,
closing the door behind her before curling up in her chair again
with her book. Thirty minutes later, there was a light tap at her
door. She opened it to find an amused expression on Vance’s
face.

“How much did you give him?”

“Enough,” she smiled a little guiltily.

“Just make sure he’s coherent again by noon
on Wednesday. He’s supposed to oversee a sale.”

Jessie winced without thinking. She knew the
goods exchanging hands would be a girl, probably around Harmony’s
age or younger.

“What makes me different from them?” she
asked suddenly. “Why protect me and not them?”

“Would you rather I do neither?” he shot
back.

“I guess I’d rather you do both.”

“Some problems are too big to tackle. Hell,
Jessie. You’re more than I can handle as it is.”

Jessie gave a half shrug, unsure what she
could really say to that.

“Don’t forget to feed him,” Vance took
Jessie’s cue and dropped the subject.

“Of course not.”

“And try not to make him OD. That would be a
tough situation even for your cop boyfriend to help you out
of.”

“I’ll remember that.”

“I’ll be back in the morning, okay?”

“Hey Vance,” Jessie grabbed his arm as he
turned to go.

“Yeah?”

“I don’t suppose you can pave the way with
Harmony for me?”

“I’ve been trying.”

“Thanks.”

“Anything else?”

“No. Sorry… thanks,” she let go of his arm
and stepped back awkwardly. Loneliness settled over her as she
watched him go. Before she’d met Gabe, it might not have even
occurred to her.

She read a few more chapters of the Jesse
James book, completely sucked into the story of his life. She
amused herself for a while by cooking Spence dinner and finding new
ways to slip him extra pain medicine. She went to bed early and
beat Harmony to the gym the next morning, even with taking time to
feed Spence some Vicodin-laced pancakes.

Harmony was slightly less frosty and Jessie
decided to call that a win. Harmony even asked if Jessie wanted to
meet her on the street for dinner.

It felt good to sit in the breezy back room
of the Stable on Cherokee Street under the shadow of the old Lemp
Brewery. Anheuser-Busch might be the lifeblood of St. Louis, but it
was the old Lemp Brewery that held both mystery and charm. That’s
why Jessie liked it so much. Instead of a typical plain brick circa
1970 building like A-B, Lemp had an eerie beauty that was enhanced
by its ornate stone carvings.

Jessie ignored the look Harmony gave her when
she ordered a pizza. She was starving. All Spence kept in his
refrigerator was tofu and other equally unappetizing and
labor-intensive food. Her body needed a Bud Light and a carbonara
pizza. She’d work extra hard in yoga the next day.

Other than the disapproval of food choice
rolling off of Harmony in waves, things seemed better between them.
Like maybe she’d forgiven Jessie for so quickly disappearing from
her life.

“Vance says I’m getting a new roommate.”

“Really?” Jessie frowned. She hadn’t thought
of that. “Do you know who?”

“They haven’t said anything,” she shook her
head. “I guess I’ll find out soon enough. She moves in next
week.”

“Maybe she won’t be as lazy as me.”

“You were hardly lazy.”

“Will we still work out together?”

“As long as Spence will let you,” Harmony
quickly agreed.

“He’s in no shape to disagree with much right
now,” Jessie snickered. She didn’t want to think much past the time
when she ran out of those handy little pills.

Once the thought occurred to her that she
could use all of his medicine too quickly, she began to ration it a
little more carefully. Of course, she compensated by pouring larger
glasses of Jack to chase them with.

Sometimes Spence would be coherent enough
that she’d relay messages from other staff members and get
instructions on household items to be completed in turn. Sometimes
she’d sit at his side or give him a shoulder rub as she listened to
his incoherent and rambling fears.

It was a very human side to Spence she’d
never seen before. It made her hate him less and pity him more—even
for just a little while.

At night, she curled up with her pillow and
conjured up memories of Gabe. If she thought hard enough, she could
almost feel him in the room with her.

Somehow the days rolled by and she managed to
pass the time. She also managed to have Spence sobered and cleaned
up by the time Vance appeared on Wednesday morning.

She also considered it a lucky break when
Spence demanded she ride with him to the sale. It seemed her new
role in Spence’s life was to be his ornament. An ornament he often
forgot was there when he spoke to his business associates. Jessie
wished Gabe would meet with her soon—both because she missed him,
and because she was worried she’d forget an important detail.

“I’ll be happy when this day is over with,”
Spence pronounced crabbily once Vance and Jessie had him stuffed
into the back seat of the Mercedes.

Jessie tried not to smirk. His head was
probably killing him since she’d only given him a fraction of his
usual dose that morning.

“We’ll get you home as soon as we can,” she
promised.

“No, it’s good to be out. I just want to get
Aleksandar off my ass.”

There wasn’t really an answer to that so
Jessie just nodded sympathetically.

The sleek black car looked out of place in
the rundown neighborhood Vance drove them through. They pulled up
in front of an abandoned warehouse. Jessie waited in the car with
Spence while Vance disappeared inside. He returned a few moments
later with a young girl tucked under his arm almost protectively.
She was tall but thin enough to be considered waifish, with wispy
blond hair and dull blue eyes that fixated on Jessie with
hatred.

She squirmed under the weight of the girl’s
gaze. She knew it condemned her as a traitor to their gender.
Jessie wanted to assure the girl she was one of the good guys. But
a question tickled the back of her brain—would she be helping free
this girl if not for Gabe? Or would she have continued looking the
other way so long as there was food on her table and a roof over
her head?

She felt dirty and small in that moment, with
Spence’s arm slung over her shoulder and his mouth constantly
finding her shoulder, ear or neck. It took every ounce of willpower
she had to not shrink from his touch. She struggled to resurrect
the wall that had always been her haven in the past, but to no
avail.