Throwaway (12 page)

“There’s a loophole if I ever saw one.”

“Well, they had a daughter together. Her
daddy was furious. He never did claim her after that. Never saw his
granddaughter.”

“That’s so sad.”

“Rumor has it Jesse and his new love were
happy together. It’s supposed to be a romantic story.”

“Unless you’re his first wife left to raise
his kids with no money and the stigma of being an outlaw’s
wife.”

“Yeah. Unless you’re her.”

The ride back went too quickly. Jessie could
feel a weight settling over her more with each passing mile. She’d
gone her whole life without any real connection to another human
being. Now she didn’t want to let her connection with Gabe go. It
would be so hard being near him but not able to touch him, to laugh
with him.

“Back to the fishbowl,” she sighed, blinking
back tears as they crossed the St. Louis County line. It wouldn’t
be long now until they parted ways.

“We’ll find ways to communicate,” he
promised. “And I’ll always be around. If you get into trouble or
decide you want out, just say the word.”

“I’ll be okay. I just don’t want to go is
all.”

“Then don’t.”

“Gabe, not again. Please?”

He pulled the Jeep into a Metrolink parking
lot, shifting in his seat to face her once they were stopped. “I
don’t want to let you out of this car.”

“You know I’m crazy about you… right?” She
swallowed hard, considering her next words. “You… you’re… you’re
really important to me.”

“Wow, don’t completely overwhelm me with your
flowery words of love there, babe.”

“Shut up. You are such a jerk.”

“That’s more like it,” he grinned before
growing serious. “You’re pretty important to me, too. Please be
careful.”

There were a thousand things Jessie wanted to
say to him. They swirled around inside her, straining to be free.
None of them seemed quite able to string together into a coherent
sentence that could work its way past her defensive barriers,
though. All that finally came out was a flat “I’ll be careful” as
her hand sought the door handle. “See you around.”

“Damn it, Jessie,” he growled, exploding from
the car to cover the distance between them. He pulled her to him,
claiming her mouth as his hands cupped her face. “Don’t shut me out
now.”

Her eyes locked with his, saying all the
things her voice could not. She allowed her hands to follow a path
of their own volition up his arms to cup his face as he had hers,
the scruff of his jaw standing in stark contrast to the silken hair
that brushed her fingertips. She wanted to memorize each muscle
along the way, each sensation she experienced with him so
close.

She gave him one last lingering kiss before
stepping back.

“See you around.”

He nodded, kissing the back of her hand
before releasing her. Jessie didn’t look back—she didn’t trust
herself to move forward again if she did. She caught a glimpse of
him leaning against the Jeep as the light rail pulled away from the
station.

She’d left her bags in his Jeep
intentionally. She didn’t want to explain where the clothes came
from when she returned. Now that the parting was behind her,
returning to Spence loomed large on the horizon.

He was waiting for her when she walked
through the door of her apartment. One look at Harmony’s puffy eyes
told Jessie she wouldn’t be happy with what was about to unfold.
Despite Spence’s warning otherwise, Harmony immediately flew into
Jessie’s arms.

“I’m sorry,” Jessie whispered into Harmony’s
ear. “I didn’t mean to make life harder for you.”

“I’m going to miss you,” Harmony started
crying again.

“Does that mean your answer is yes?” Jessie
looked to Spence in time to see his head nod ever-so-slightly. Her
stomach clenched with nerves even as she breathed a sigh of relief.
The thought hadn’t occurred to her before that moment that he could
have said no. “Thank you.”

“You wanted this?” Harmony stared at her with
a look of horror and betrayal.

“I can’t work the streets forever, baby girl.
I’d like to move on while there’s still something left of me.”

“But Jessie…” Harmony’s voice trailed
off.

“I should probably go now. I’ll see you at
the gym tomorrow, okay?”

“Will you get up without me there?”

“I’ll set an alarm,” Jessie promised solemnly
before turning her attention to Spence. “Just give me a second to
gather a few things.”

“We’ve already moved your things for
you.”

“Oh,” Jessie paled a little. “Can I take one
last look at my room?”

Spence motioned with his hand, granting her
permission. She tried not to bolt to the room, nearly weeping with
relief to see her bed had been left as it was. She had no idea how
she’d get her money out from under the mattress now, but at least
the bed was still there. She quickly crossed the room to run her
hand under the mattress to reassure herself the envelopes were
still there.

Only they weren’t. Her heart flew to her
throat; a dull roar filled her ears. She might have fainted right
then and there but Spence’s voice calling her from the other room
brought her back to this moment.

She straightened and tried to look calm by
the time she reappeared in the living room. With each step, the
reality settled over her that she was getting ready to leave her
home of 14 years. She would miss her little apartment and the
vibrancy of Cherokee now that she’d be living in Spence’s loft with
him. Everything had happened so quickly, she hadn’t had a chance to
do all of the “one lasts” she’d planned to.

Spence was standing at the door waiting for
her. Harmony had retreated to the kitchen, though Jessie could feel
her hurt stare as Jessie took one last look around her home before
accepting Spence’s hand and following him down the stairs to the
waiting Mercedes.

Her hand felt chilly in his; it held none of
the warmth that radiated from Gabe’s touch. He was long and lanky
with Mediterranean coloring and cool green eyes. He always wore
tailored suites. Most women who met him looked twice. A good
portion of those quickly looked away when further scrutiny revealed
that there was no soul behind those beautiful eyes.

Jessie had to admit to at least herself that
she was more than a little scared. Like a lamb being led to
slaughter, she followed him dutifully across the sidewalk to the
waiting car.

Then everything happened so quickly it felt
like Jessie stepped out of reality and into a dream. It wasn’t
until later, as she sat in the waiting room of the hospital covered
in blood that she began to process the scene that had unfolded
before her.

Like characters from a Tarantino movie, two
men had boldly walked up to Spence in the middle of the street, one
yanking him away from her while the other swung the baseball bat.
The sound of bone cracking was unmistakable when the first swing
connected with his shin. The second swing was the one that broke
his nose and the reason for the blood that spattered all over
Jessie.

Just as quickly as they arrived, they were
gone. Vance chased them for a block before returning to help
Spence. Together, he and Jessie shoved Spence into the Mercedes.
Jessie ripped a strip of cloth from her shirt to stem the flow of
blood from Spence’s nose. She held his head in her lap and spoke in
soothing tones as he groaned in pain.

The man made her stomach roil, but she didn’t
like seeing another human in pain. Had she heard about this after
the fact, she would have snickered a little. Witnessing it
firsthand was another story altogether.

When they pulled into the Alexian Brothers
Hospital, Vance slammed the car into park and was there with
lightning speed to help Jessie get Spence out of the car. Together,
they got him in the doors. The blood made it look worse than it
was, but helped get the attention of the emergency room staff.
Spence was whisked away, leaving Vance and Jessie to face a
glowering check-in attendant.

“I’m going to park the car. I’ll be right
back,” Vance muttered and was gone, leaving Jessie alone in the
face of the woman’s disapproval.

She was halfway through the paperwork when
Vance reappeared, relieving Jessie of the duty so she could go
splash some cold water on her face. The bathroom mirror was not
kind. If she hadn’t been so shell shocked, she’d have been
embarrassed to leave the bathroom. As it was, she just sort of
wandered in a daze.

Until she found herself sitting in the
waiting room, reliving that horrible instant over and over in her
head and wondering if it was a result of Spence’s dealings—or if it
had been done to protect her.

The hospital called the police. It didn’t
take long for a couple of uniforms to show up to get their
statement. Which, of course, was rehearsed and very noncommittal.
Gabe was right on their heels, trying to look unconcerned as his
eyes scoured Jessie for any sign of injury.

“Were you harmed, ma’am?” he finally
interjected when it appeared no one else was going to ask.

“No, sir,” she smiled a little. “They didn’t
touch me.”

He seemed relieved at that. His entire
reaction set Jessie’s mind at ease that Spence wasn’t suffering on
her behalf. That is, until she caught the look that flickered
between Gabe and Vance.

She didn’t know if she was impressed,
terrified or sickened by the efficiency with which they had dealt
with rendering Spence unable to perform. By all accounts, it looked
like a warning from the mob. If Jessie hadn’t seen the look, she
would have never known otherwise.

The guilt of knowing Spence had in fact been
hurt so badly in the name of protecting her made it easier to
pretend to dote on him on the ride home. Once his leg had been set
and his nose taped, he’d been released into their care. The police
weren’t a problem for them, no doubt thanks to Gabe.

Together, Vance and Jessie got him up the
stairs and into his room. Jessie cleaned him and helped him into
his pajamas while Vance unloaded her things.

“I’m so glad I have you with me,” Spence
patted her hand affectionately once she’d tucked him into bed.

Jessie couldn’t help but smile, the guy had
enough pain medicine in him to tranquilize an elephant and it was
making him loopy.

“I know you are,” she told him. “Now get some
sleep. It’s been a long evening.”

With Spence out, she refused to do anything
else until she had a shower. The clothes she wore were tossed in
the trash on her way by. She stood in the steamy water so long her
skin turned pink, thinking about all that had happened and
wondering what she was going to do with her entire life’s savings
gone.

“Jessie,” Vance tapped at the door. “Are you
okay in there?”

“Yeah, sure. Be right out,” Jessie
reluctantly turned off the shower and wrapped herself in a
towel.

“I put your clothes in your room and I have a
beer with your name on it out on the balcony.”

“You’re my hero,” Jessie smiled, waiting for
Vance to walk away before darting down the hall to the room she’d
been given. She had no illusions that she’d been given her own room
out of respect. She had her own room for the evenings Spence
brought home diversions. The why didn’t matter—she was just happy
for what was.

She quickly dressed in cotton pajamas and
scurried out to meet Vance on the balcony. He acknowledged her
presence with his eyes then went back to watching the street
below.

“I like what they’ve done with the Washington
loft district,” he commented.

“It is nice.”

“You’ve had a busy day.”

Jessie nodded at that. To think, she’d woken
up this morning wrapped around Gabe in the middle of the woods.
When she’d seen him this afternoon, they’d pretended not to know
one another. And there was the whole mess with seeing her boss get
his leg broken to keep him from feeling amorous, too.

“I don’t suppose you have any idea why Spence
was jumped today,” she finally decided how to broach the
subject.

“Looks like a rumor somehow got started about
him possibly skimming cash off from his associates. That was a
warning shot. You know, I heard it around anyway.”

“Is he?”

Vance answered with a look that said she was
stupid to ask that question. Stupid because the answer was
obviously yes or stupid because it was obviously no?

“Thank you,” she studied his profile.
Sometimes it was hard to remember that he was only twenty-five.
Maybe it was his sheer size, maybe just his calm demeanor.

“I don’t like what you’ve got yourself mixed
up in, but I’ll do what I can to keep you from getting yourself
killed.”

“You probably know enough about everything to
end all of this right now,” Jessie blurted as soon as the thought
occurred to her.

“But I don’t think Gabe has dreamy-enough
eyes to risk my life over.”

“I’m not risking my life over some guy’s
eyes,” Jessie snapped. If she had to classify one thing about him
worth risking her life over, it was probably his laugh. Although,
he did have nice eyes; they tended to change from golden to warm
brown depending on his mood.

“Sure,” Vance looked over at Jessie with a
disgusted snort.

“I’m not having this discussion with you
right now.”

“Look, just be careful. You’ve stayed with
Spence for 14 years because you were scared of what he’d do to you
if you left. That’s nothing compared to the guys you’re tangling
with now.”

“I’m not tangling with anybody. Not
really.”

“You just keep telling yourself that, sugar,
and see how it works out for you.”

“I need to be done, Vance. I just want to
live before I die.”

“Yeah, I know,” his tone softened. “Look, I’d
better go get some sleep while I can. Jason’ll be outside the front
door all night if you need anything. Try to have Spence up and
coherent by four. He has guests coming for drinks.”