Tied Up In Heartstrings (27 page)

I think I knew she’d say yes eventually, but I never imagined that she’d say yes quite that fast. Sierra did perfectly, as I expected. She wasn’t in on it, but I knew pretty well what her reaction would be. I couldn’t imagine proposing to Alexis without Sierra. Sierra is a part of who
Lex and I are together. She needed to be here. It had all been perfect. I bought the ring, believe it or not, two weeks ago, expecting to give it to her at the end of the tour. But damn, if my wishing on all those stars didn’t work out perfectly. I love these girls.

“Daddy, what about this charm?” Sierra asks. She and Alexis a
re both sitting in my lap now.

Alexis giggles…and I say, “Well, Sierra, that one is the best of all. Remember the day in the hospital with Courtney, Drew, and baby Gabe?” I ask and she nods her head. “That day we talked about ho
w babies were made. Remember?”

She nods. “Yes, babies
come from love,” she recites.

“Yes they do…a lot of love. And we…Mama, you, me, all our family and friends had so much extra love to give that we, without even knowing it, made a baby inside your Mama’s tummy.” She looks to my stomach and rubs her fingers across my mid-section. “The baby is still growing and it’ll be a little while before we can meet him or her, but you, my princess, will be the best big sister in the whole world,” he says and Sierra cries her very first, i
n her whole life, happy tears.

“I love us
soooo much!” she says, squeezing us all together.

“Yes, baby girl. I love us
soo much, too!”

No one will ever understand what Jed must have been feeling the day that his plane went down. He had heaven here on Earth with these two special girls. I’m not sure why things work out the way they do sometimes. But I’m forever grateful to him for what he gave when he was here walking among us. He has given me the most precious gifts, and I’m committed to never letti
ng his memory die in our home.

I want to be married as soon as possible. I hope
Lex is on board for that. And I know exactly where we’re going for the honeymoon. M.I.C.K.E.Y.  M.O.U.S.E. … I want to go to Disney World with these girls. I don’t care if I have to buy out the park for the day. There’s no other place that I’d rather take them.

“Mrs. McKenna, you’re ten centimeters dilated and ready to push,” the nurse says.

“Do you really not think I’m ready to spit this little monster out? I know I’m ready. I’ve been telling you that! Move your
asses, already. Get this thing out of me!” She’s yelling at the doctor and nurses. My precious girl has been a trooper, but she’s over it now. She wants to be all done with this pregnancy, labor, doctors, and hospitals, all of it. She wants to go home. She’s told me this at least three dozen times in the last two hours.

“You’re almost done,” I whisper in her ear. “Want m
e to sing to you, sweetheart?”

She looks at me over her shoulder. “Yes,” she says simply, in her most quiet voice. She’s been so sweet to me today. People warned me that she might say things she didn’t mean, but she hasn’t. She’s said how much she loves me, that I’m her hero, that snuggling with me makes all the pain go away. She’s been perfect.

Now with that being said, all bets are off for the poor nurses and doctors she’s been outright nasty to, but you know what, they’ve all just taken it with a little laugh and been very helpful. I really have to commend them for their superior bedside manner. 

She wanted me to play the guitar and sing to her in the delivery room, but I can’t play the guitar and hold her at the same time, and I’m not letting go of her now. So I whisper the lyrics of the song I wrote for her into her ear. I’m singing it over and over, looking at her, watching her breathing exercises and her powerful pushes as she delivers our baby.

I hear the doctor say “one more time, Alexis” and then our baby comes into the world with loud cry. “It’s a boy!” the doctor announces, and I kiss Alexis as they place my precious son on my wife’s stomach.

“A boy,” she says to me with a
tear streaked face.

“A boy,” I say, looking at my beautiful baby, counting his fingers and toes to make sure they’re all there. “Thank you so much. You’re amazing, Alexis. Look what you made for us, baby.”

“Mr. McKenna, would you like to cut the cord?” the doctor asks me.

“Yes.” He instructs me where to cut and I perform my first duty as the father of my son. I look at my wife and son and feel a slight pang knowing my little girl needs to be here.

The hospital wouldn’t allow Sierra to be in here until after the delivery, when Alexis is settled into her room. I’ve already told the doctors, nurses, and anyone else willing to listen that this shit needs to happen quickly, so my little foursome can celebrate together. I’m so excited to go and get her. I need her to see this. They take my son off my wife’s stomach, saying they’re going to clean him up. They measure him, six pounds, and seven ounces, twenty-one inches long. Perfect. They stamp his little foot with ink, as he wails, but it’s a glorious sound. He has nice strong lungs to serenade his Mama, ju
st like his big sister and me.

“Mr. & Mrs. McKenna, we need to take baby boy McKenna for his bath and shots now,” the nurse says, looking at my wife.

She looks like she’s about to jump off the bed. “ABSOLUTELY NOT! Our baby goes nowhere without his daddy, or me, in tow.”

The nurse is more than annoyed. “Mrs. McKenna, we cannot bathe him here and the pediatrician needs to look him over.”

“Listen, lady,” says my perfect, feisty little wife, “if you even think about taking my son anywhere without his father, or me, directly beside you, you are going to have some VERY BIG problems!” She looks to me and as sweetly as she’s spoken to me all day, “Garrett, will you please escort our son, and THAT WOMAN, wherever it is that she needs to take him…and baby, please don’t let our son out of your eyesight,” she instructs.

The nurse is dumbfounded. My wife isn’t a fan of doctors, or nurses, poking and prodding. She’s not happy about being here, and on top of that they wouldn’t let Sierra in the delivery room. This is her way of handling the frustration. They’ll just have to take what she gives, because she’s my little superstar today! I shrug my shoulders at the nurse and say, “Lead the way,” after kissing my wife. We make a quick stop in the waiting room to tell the entire clan of family and friends waiting the good news. They’re all crying and thrilled to meet Baby Boy McKenna. Sierra is crying more happy tears than I knew a five and a half year old ha
d.

“Mama will be waiting for you soon. I’m going to help your new baby brother,” I tell her giving her a big hug, as she waves to the little cart her baby is in.

I can’t believe the whirlwind of this year. If you told me a year ago that I’d be married to an amazing man and delivering his baby, I would have thought you were on drugs, but clearly it is I who underestimated the power of heartstrings and wishes. 

I’m finally to our room and it’s empty. I’m waiting on my family to arrive and reminiscing about how far we’ve come.

Life is never perfect. We all have things that are challenging, that we need to work through and learn to accept.

My life has never been a walk in the park. I have a mother and father that are both addicts and have never been a meaningful part of my life.
at least never in a positive uplifting way. I’ve chosen not to allow them into my life in any capacity. That’s okay, though. I survived and learned some very valuable lessons from them. I learned to be the parent they weren’t. I learned what I didn’t want to be, and I think I have executed that as planned. I choose to accept those lessons and not feel badly about what I missed.

My first husband and best friend died when my daughter was three. We miss him. I think of him every day, especially when I see him peeking through our daughter’s eyes. I’m grateful that he taught me to love and to accept love. I’m grateful for our daughter, who has brought more joy to my life
than I ever thought possible.

I have family. I have an incredible brother, and as if being so amazing weren’t enough, he went and married someone as wonderful as he is and then procreated, bringing three adorable kids into the greatness mix. They’re my family and they were there for me when opening my eyes to the day was “a feat.

My best friends…I’m so very blessed that these girls love me in spite of all my stuff. They are the definition of true-unconditional-love. Keepers!

My adorable Sierra, this child has been the light in my world since the day she opened her eyes. There hasn’t been a day in her life that she hasn’t made me smile. The lessons she has taught me in this life far exceed anything any book or lecture could have provided. I’m grateful that she loves so willingly, feels so deeply, shares anything, laughs often, befriends anyone, and most of all calls me Mama. I’ll never tire of hearing that sweet
voice call me Mama.

My husband, I’ve never known a love like the one he’s shown me. To say that you love someone is big. The words mean an awful lot, but to feel that you love someone and feel the love reciprocated….now that’s really something. There are just no words to ever describe those feelings and emotions. That’s what Garrett gives to me every day, feeling and emotions that I can never really describe. But we show each other how we feel.

Garrett wished us and we happened. He made me whole again. He made us all whole. I couldn’t be more happy or proud of him. I love him so very much. And today, the day that I’ve given birth to our son, we’ve been married for six glorious months.

Our daughter thinks the sun and moon set behind him, and I couldn’t agree more.

I must say first and foremost my family and friends are freaking amazing! They have been instrumental in helping me contain my insanity over the last several months.  Can you imagine how crazy I could have been without that support? Aahhhhh….

Mike & Sky, I will try to cook for you more now, less takeout and turkey sandwiches, I promise. Thank you for allowing me to sacrifice family time to follow this dream. I owe you both everything and love you with my whole heart. You will never know how much I cherish the two of you and always will.

To my parents: I can’t even imagine where I’d be in this life without you. I’m lucky to have such amazing role models to guide me. You taught me the meaning of unconditional love and then showed me how to live a life with meaning. I love you both so very much.

To my Nana, Catherine, I will never, LIKE EVER, be able to tell you how much you mean to me. You’ve changed my life. Your love and dedication to me throughout life has been priceless. You’re my best friend and the first person I remember loving completely! Thank you for EVERY life changing sacrifice you’ve made on my behalf. I love you so very, very much!

To my big (almost real) brother Raymond, You are my hero. You will never know how much the love you’ve shown to me has impacted my life. You are an amazing father, husband, brother, uncle, son, friend and everything else you attempt. Thank you for writing songs that tell stories in my book but mostly, Thank you for being you and choosing to love me. Your beautiful family is my lifeline!

To my sister in-law Tabitha, I have lost count of the number of times you’ve swept into my crazy life to throw me a life preserver. You are quite simply amazing and I am so very lucky that you care enough to rescue me and take care of me. I will always be so grateful for you.  (We need to plan an all night chat session again soon…that was too much fun)

To my mother in-law, Mary! Thank you for raising an amazing man. Thank you for always listening when I need to talk and thank you for supporting us. You and Benny are wonderful and we love you very much!

To the rest of my family… You know who you are. I love you more, always &
Thank you! Aunt Glennis, Thank you for leading the pack! Aunt Toni, You are the sweetest person I know…HUGS…!

To my friends who I have skipped out on girls nights, trips, dinners, hanging out at the ballpark, whatever! I’ve been a crappy friend while writing this…I know. Thanks for loving me anyways and taking care of my kiddo when I was busy. I heart you all!
Erica, Thank you for feeding me when I forget to eat and everything else you do to help!

To my editor Liz Aguilar, r
eally… I never expected for you to talk me off the cliff when I was ready to jump. But you have so many times during this process. You’re quite amazing and talented. Thanks for taking a chance on a girl like me. This book would be crap without you and I know it. Love you, Lady!

When I started this project I sought out knowledge and support through Facebook. I never in a million years expected so many authors and book bloggers to jump in to help little me…REALLY?! You guys are
aMaZiNg! I’m so grateful to you all for the time and energy you’ve spent chatting with me and answering all my questions.  Kelly Elliott (Because she’s that awesome), Heather Gunter (my partner in crime), Southern Girls Author Event Planners – Chrissy & Jennifer (OMG…My BFFs…Can’t live without you two, ever), Keshia Langston (amazing author and the other half of my brain) and so many others… Y’all are just amazeballs and keep be going everyday!

To Robin Harper at Wicked By design…still no words for how that cover makes me feel. Thank you! The cover and swag are perfect. I’m lucky that you were put in my path! <3 XO <3

To the Facebook community of friends on the author page! Every time I have a need, you fill it and quickly! You guys are the rock stars and the reason I finished this book! Thank you for the support and motivation! You guys have been incredible!

To t
he Picken’s family, I sooo love you guys! Thank for very willingly forfeiting your names for this story. You will be paid generously in love! Whitney, thank for the encouragement. It was you who made me think maybe this was possible. XOXO

The
Beta readers:
Chrissy R., Darla B., Corinne B. and Luci N.
You’re critiques of my writing meant a lot to me. Thank you so much for taking the time to read and give feedback! It was incredibly helpful and I hope to one day meet you all and give the huge hugs you deserve.