Authors: Brenda Jackson

Ties That Bind (4 page)

BOOK: Ties That Bind

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He took a sip of his soda before responding. “Your misconception that I'm trying to run some game on you. I meant what I said the other night, Jenna. I'm not going with Lena Weaver. Because of our families, Lena and I are friends, nothing more.”

She nodded, holding his gaze. For some reason she believed him. “All right, and I apologize for sounding so cold the other night, but â¦”

“You weren't sure you could trust me?”

“Yes,” she said quietly.

“And that's understandable. All I want is for us to get to know each other better. Is anything wrong with that?” he asked, whispering hoarsely.

“I always thought there was. At least for me. My main focus is to concentrate on my studies and nothing else.”

“Do you see me as a threat to that, Jenna? If you do then let me assure you that I'm not. Staying on top of my schoolwork is important to me as well. Uncle Sam is pulling men who aren't making the grade out of college and shipping them off to Vietnam. I have no desire to go into the armed services any sooner than I have to.”

Jenna nodded, knowing that was true. The draft deferral was good as long as a person was in school making good grades. Leigh had mentioned how hard Noah was working to keep his grades up, too. No one in their right mind wanted to go to Vietnam. Each day the news reports indicated that more and more American servicemen were losing their lives, and there were a number of demonstrations being held across the country protesting the war.

“All I'm asking is that we get to know each other better by spending some time together. And just how much time we spend together will be your call.”

Panic rushed through her with what he was saying. The only time he would share with her was what she allowed him. “Why?” she whispered, wanting to know why he was letting her set the conditions, the rules, the guidelines.

“Because I care.”

“And why do you care, Randolph?”

For the longest moment he didn't answer. He just continued to look at her. Then suddenly he slowly reached out and took her hand in his and then she knew. She felt the same thing he did. The current. The electricity. The charge. The passion.

It flowed from his body to hers then back to his again. The feelings he experienced from touching her were gut-wrenchingly deep. Then there was the heat that flowed between them.

“That night when I first saw you at the party, Jenna, the moment I
looked at you, a part of me knew there was something going on between us that I couldn't explain. I'm not crazy about it any more than you are, but I'm not going to deny that it's there.”

Jenna let out a shaky sigh. A part of her couldn't deny it either. But then, she didn't want to become involved with anything or anyone who could make her lose sight of her whole purpose for coming to college. Her parents depended on her to do the right thing. Her brothers depended on her to help make sure their dreams came true. There were others she had to think about more so than herself.

She met Randolph's gaze again. His stare was unnerving. It made whatever it was between them, that neither of them understood, bigger than life. She had gone to bed each night since meeting him with thoughts of him on her mind. And tonight, at the library, a part of her had responded to him, against her will, against her desire and best intentions. The plain fact was that what they were experiencing couldn't be normal. No attraction could be that deep. That intense. That volatile.

She closed her eyes briefly against all the emotions she was feeling. They were the same emotions he was feeling too. And he was right. They owed it to themselves and to each other to find out where all this would lead.

She opened her eyes and met a gaze that was holding hers with such intensity that for a split second she thought everything around them was at a standstill, except for the beating of their hearts. She finally dragged her gaze from his and took another sip of her milkshake. The cold substance felt thick, refreshing as it flowed down her hot throat.

“All right,” she finally said, softly. “I prefer that we don't see each other during the week but I'm okay with us going out occasionally on the weekends.”

He nodded. “That's fine with me but I can call during the week, right?”

“Yes, if you'd like.”

The slow smile on his lips indicated he would like. They finished eating the rest of their food. They had discussed what was happening
on campus: the Vietnam War and how it was becoming more and more on everyone's mind, and the civil rights movement and how some of the leaders working with Dr. King were getting impatient, annoyed and intolerant of the growing amount of racism they faced each day. They had begun questioning whether or not his approach of nonviolence was the way. And if it was, why was it taking so long for results?

Randolph walked Jenna home while holding her hand. When they reached her dorm building, he said softly, “If there's ever anything you want to know about me, just ask me. Please don't believe everything that you hear.” Pulling her out of the light from the building to a dark, secluded spot on the building's steps, he leaned down and his lips touched hers, gently, but with a passion that was blatantly male and made everything about her that was ultrafeminine react. He was bringing her to a sizzle without a whole lot of effort and she heard the low sound that erupted from her throat the moment his tongue touched hers.

She might not fully understand what was happening between them but she definitely understood the burning sensation that was flowing through every part of her body. It felt strange to experience such feelings since she had never slept with a man and didn't know a thing about passion.

He ended the kiss and stared at her unblinking as he drew in a deep, labored breath. He then smiled in a way that was so sensuous it made her heart began pumping wildly. “Good night, Jenna. I'll be by around six next week to take you to the concert. Will that time be okay?”

She swallowed deeply, thickly, then nodded. “Yes.”

He pulled open the door for her and she looked at him once again before going inside. When she heard the door click shut behind her she drew in a deep breath, inhaling air into her lungs. Confusion shook her with the intensity of their attraction to each other. Startled by the giddy pleasure she felt, she slowly walked down the hall toward her dorm room. Randolph Devin Fuller had definitely turned her world upside down.

Three

Randolph walked along the paved lane, too wired to go back to the dorm room he shared with two other guys. He thought about going to one of the popular hangouts on campus, but didn't want to be around a lot of people just yet. He needed to walk and think.

He had never been this tied in knots over a woman in his life. Girls had always been there, hanging around, being available. And because he'd been raised to treat all females with respect, he never played games with them. He was either interested or he wasn't. But under no circumstances had he ever let any female call the shots in their relationship. He never had the time or the inclination to do so.

His life had always revolved around some purpose. Before college he had concentrated on making the grades he neededâthat was expected of a Fullerâto get into college, namely Howard, a tradition his great-great grandfather had started back in the late eighteen hundreds. Then once he got to Howard and had gone out for the football team, academics and sports had joined forces in his life, taking up most of his time. He dated occasionally, but he'd never given a thought to getting serious about anyone. Even when his grandmother, who was as tenacious as they come, tried pushing Lena Weaver at him, he had staunchly refused to succumb to any member of the opposite sex.

Until Saturday night.

He still wondered what had happened to him. He seriously didn't have a clue. All he knew was that when he had seen Jenna, a part of him had knownâat that exact momentâthat she was meant to be the woman for him whether he was looking for her or not. He remembered his maternal grandfather who lived in South Carolina once telling him that was how it had been when he had met his grandmotherâlove at first sight. Once they had met, it was as if no other woman existed or mattered.

He then thought of his paternal grandparentsâthe ones who had
raised him and Ross after their parents' death. At times he wondered if Robert and Julia Fuller ever truly loved each other. He knew they respected each other. But love? He always believed Robert and Julia's parents had arranged their marriage, although he'd never asked them or had been given any confirmation of such a thing. But for some reason, in his grandmother's mind, the suitability of two individuals was more important than if those persons loved each other. Love, she claimed, could come later. Evidently she believed what she was preaching enough to push it onto him and Ross. It was a harder sale for him than it was for Ross. Ross always strove to please their grandparents, where Randolph was considered the rebellious one.

He smiled when he thought of Ross. It wasn't that his brother was a weakling by any means. Ross was just very careful in choosing his battles and a fight with Julia Fuller was a battle no mortal person would want to take on. So in some things, Ross meekly gave in. Like his dating of Angela Douglass. Even after dating her for almost eight months, Ross hadn't managed make it to first base yet. She was too dignified, too refined, too prim and proper and too damn restrained. Ross had even admitted she hadn't allowed him to kiss her until they had dated for three months. Yet he continued to date her to keep their grandmother happy and off his back.

Randolph noticed that he had walked from one end of the campus to the other while he'd been thinking, and yet he still wasn't ready to go to his dorm room. After checking his watch and seeing it wasn't yet seven o'clock, he made a quick decision to walk the two miles to where Ross shared a house with Noah Wainwright. Ross had lived on campus for four years and had decided that while in law school he wanted the freedom and privacy living off campus afforded. Their grandparents had agreed and his grandfather had helped to locate a two-bedroom house not far from Howard Law School. Ross had chosen Noah for a housemate, the two having met when Noah first came to Howard. They had remained best friends ever since.

Pulling his jacket closer together to ward off the cool chill of the night air, Randolph began walking the two miles to where he knew his brother was probably at home studying.

Ross Fuller looked up from the huge textbook he was reading when he heard the solid knock on his bedroom door. “Yeah?”

“It's me, Ross. You got a minute?”

Ross closed the book and called back, “Yeah, Noah, come on in.” He watched as the door opened and his best friend, Noah Wainwright, stepped into the room.

“You still at it?” Noah asked Ross, indicating the book he held in his hand.

“Yeah, I still have a good twenty more pages to read tonight. What about you? Did you complete that paper you were working on?”

“As much as I plan on doing tonight. If I have to write anything else about property ownership I'm going to go nuts. It's not like black folks own a whole lot of property anyway.”

Ross smiled. “But we can dream can't we?”

“The only thing I do these days is pray this damn war will be over before we graduate next year.”

“It will be. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out we have no business in 'Nam. I feel confident President Johnson is going to wise up to that fact so we can get the hell out of there. Those âCongs are crazy and don't fight fair. Besides, I don't fully support the reason why we're there.”

“Which is the main reason I don't want to go.”

Ross nodded. They felt the same way, yet he knew if either of them got called to go, they wouldn't hesitate to do so. They were Americans and they would defend their country or die trying. He glanced around his bedroom. “I would invite you to sit down, but as you can see I have no idea where the chair is. It's probably over there under that huge stack of clothes.” He had yet to fold up the laundry he had washed two days ago.

“I'm fine standing. I just need to talk to you about something.”

Ross noted the serious expression on Noah's face. “Okay. What is it?”

“It's about Leigh.”

Ross lifted a brow. Leigh Murdock was Noah's girlfriend. “What about Leigh?”

“I appreciate you letting her hang out here with me sometimes. It really means a lot.”

Ross had an idea just how much it meant. Anyone who saw Noah and Leigh together knew how much in love they were. From what Noah had told him, Leigh's brother had been his best friend in high school, so he had hung out over at Leigh's house quite a bit. He had known for a long time that he loved Leigh, but since he had been three years older than she, he had never let those feelings be known. Leigh's brother Zachary, with no plans to go to college after graduating from high school, had entered the police academy and become an officer on the streets of Miami. Zachary hadn't been on the force two years when he was killed in the line of duty. On the night of Zachary's funeral, Leigh, who had been very close to her brother, had sought comfort in Noah's arms and things had officially started from there. Leigh had made a decision after she graduated from high school to join Noah at Howard.

“Hey, I don't mind, Noah. You know I like Leigh. She's a nice person. Besides, this place always looks a thousand times better after she's spent a few days over here,” Ross said, teasing. But it was the truth. Not only did Leigh straighten up after them most of the time, but she knew how to cook and usually made a number of good-tasting dishes whenever she stayed over.

Noah laughed. “Yeah, it does, doesn't it? But still, Leigh and I appreciate your letting her stay occasionally.”

“Think nothing of it. But I guess the reason you're mentioning it is to let me know she'll be here when I wake up in the morning, right?”

Noah gave him an ingratiating grin. “Yeah, right.”

Ross shook his head, laughing. “Thanks for the warning. I would hate to show up for breakfast wearing my underwear not knowing a lady was in the house.”

Noah joined him laughing. “I would hate for you to show up that way, too.”

Although Ross knew Noah was a responsible person and it probably wasn't any of his business and was nothing one guy could ask another unless he felt sure of the close relationship between them,
Ross stopped laughing, leaned back and looked up at Noah. “You're using protection, aren't you?”

The two men's gazes met and Noah knew the significance of the question Ross was asking him. If Leigh wound up pregnant that meant he would have to drop out of school. Dropping out of school and getting married would eventually lead to getting drafted. Being married with a baby on the way might work as an excuse before the draft board for a white man, but it would be a waste of time if you were black.

Noah didn't answer right away. Then he said, “Yeah, I'm using protection, although sometimes I wish I didn't have to. If things were different and Leigh and I were married, with me having finished school and no threat of going off to war, I wouldn't hesitate to get her pregnant, Ross. I want her to have my baby bad. Real bad.” His eyes met Ross's and he saw his best friend's surprise. “Don't you ever feel that way about Angela?”

“No,” Ross said without thinking about it. He couldn't see the prim and proper Angela pregnant with anyone's baby, least of all his. “Angela and I don't have that kind of relationship, Noah.” In truth, at times he didn't think they had a relationship at all. They were merely two people whose families had decided they were a perfect couple.

“In that case you don't know what you're missing. There's nothing more meaningful in a man's life than to love a woman. I mean truly love a woman, Ross. You'll know what I mean when it happens to you.”

Noah's words were still on Ross's mind an hour or so later when the doorbell rang. He knew it wasn't Leigh since she had arrived already with her overnight bag. He hoped it wasn't his grandmother, arriving in town to check up on them. All he needed was for her to find out Leigh was spending the night with Noah.

He breathed a sigh of relief when he opened the door to discover it was his brother, Randolph. “Damnit, Rand, you had me scared there for a minute. I thought you were Grandmother Julia.”

Randolph chuckled. “Is she still coming to town unannounced?” he asked, entering the house.

“Not as much as she did last year. Granddad must have said something to her about it.”

Like that would mean anything,
Randolph thought. “Or she got tired of dropping by and finding this place a mess. Sometimes you and Noah can be real slobs.”

“Yeah, well, if the reason you came by was to hurl insults then I'm not in the mood. But if you happen to have a beer in that bag you're clutching so tightly to your chest then you can stay for a while. Just as long as you brought enough to share.”

Randolph huffed loudly. “It was either that or run the risk of you guzzling down all of mine,” he said, following his brother into the kitchen. “Where's Noah tonight?”

“In his bedroom. He has company.”

Randolph nodded and smiled. Although he'd never met Noah's girlfriend, he had heard from Ross that she was good looking, and that she and Noah were deeply in love. He also knew from talking to Ross that she spent a lot of time, especially nights, at their place with Noah. No wonder Ross had been nervous about their grandmother showing up unexpectedly. Julia Fuller would have a hissy fit if she knew a woman was sleeping over. “Do you ever get jealous?” he asked as he sat down and handed his brother a beer.

Ross lifted a brow as he joined Randolph at the table. “Jealous about what?”

Randolph smiled. “About the fact that there's always action going on in Noah's bedroom but never any in yours.”

Ross thought about the woman he'd been seeing now on a steady basis for the last eight months. He shrugged. “Angela is in Boston. Besides, she isn't into sex before marriage.”

Randolph chuckled. “Are you sure she's even into sex
after
marriage? I would find that out if I were you. Doing something like having sex might be too undignified for her.”

The corners of Ross's mouth quivered into a smile. “You don't like Angela, do you?”

“No,” Randolph replied without hesitation. “I can't rightly say that I do. I think you can do better. I admit she looks okay, but you need a
woman with passion, Ross, and I doubt Angela Douglass has a passionate bone in her body.”

Ross wasn't stunned by his brother's statement. In a way he had to agree with Randolph, but still â¦ “Passion isn't everything,” he said unconvincingly.

Randolph grinned. “I bet you couldn't convince Noah of that about now.”

Ross chuckled. “Yeah, well, probably not.” He took a swallow of beer, not wanting to discuss Angela any longer. “So what brought you by?”

Randolph looked down at the beer bottle he held in his hand. A few moments later he looked up and met his brother's curious stare. “I met someone.”

Ross lifted a brow. “Someone like who?”

“A woman I'm attracted to.”

BOOK: Ties That Bind

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