Time After Time (16 page)

“You should be ashamed,” she told him sleepily.

Noah reached to turn out the lamp on the night-stand, chuckling. “I’m not. Are you awake?”

“Not really.”

“Alex, pay attention.”

She yawned and burrowed closer to his side. “Do I have to?” she asked him plaintively.

“Yes.” His voice was firm. “I can’t go to sleep until I’m sure you’re really going to marry me.”

It woke her up. Alex lifted her head and stared at him. The full moon shining through the window lit them both in a stark white light. Carefully she said, “I seem to remember agreeing to something along those lines.”

His blue-gray eyes were steady and warm. “I love you, Alex,” he said quietly. “So much. I’ll never be able to tell you how much. This blue-ribbon affair of ours, it’s always been forever to me. Tell me it’s the same for you. Marry me.”

Alex drew a deep, shuddering breath, unaware until that moment of just how desperately she’d needed this confirmation of his love. The girl who had never quite forgotten how it felt to be an unwanted, orphaned brat wanted to cry suddenly in the joyous relief of being loved as she loved.

“Yes,” she whispered. “Yes, Noah.”

His face seemed alight from within. He drew her forward to kiss her tenderly, then held her in an embrace so full of love it nearly stopped her heart. Listening to his heart beating steadily beneath her cheek, she drifted toward sleep in her contentment.

“I love you,” she whispered.

“I love you too….”

She thought that he murmured something else, but Alex was too near sleep to be certain. Vaguely she thought she’d have to confide her ridiculous
obsession that they’d lived and loved before. She still felt the grief of losing him twice, but the dreams had stopped. Did that mean something? she wondered. Probably. Her mind, eager not to lose this man, had dreamed of loss.

That had to be it.

There was really nothing else it could be.

Noah woke with a start in the small hours of the morning. Alex was held securely in his arms, and he hugged her sleeping body gently. These dreams, he thought, had been curiously final. He knew, somehow, that he wouldn’t dream of a Southern lady or a Gypsy girl anymore.

All stories ended.

And he’d seen the endings of two stories tonight.

T
HEY SPENT ANOTHER
week at the cabin, both enjoying the quiet and each other’s company. Cal, who had until then kept his distance from Noah, clearly regarding the man’s presence in Alex’s life warily, completely relaxed after the “male” confrontation concerning who would sleep in her bed.

Alex was relieved that the lion had become openly affectionate with Noah, and amused when Cal apparently decided that since Noah was the dominant male of the two, it was perfectly natural
that he become a playmate equal in stature—and size.

“Noah? Are you all right?”

“I never realized,” Noah wheezed, “that four hundred pounds could weigh so much. Could you get him off my chest before he caves in my rib cage, please?”

“He’s only playing with you.”

With some skill Noah worked his way out from under Cal’s considerable weight. The lion managed a last affectionate hug that deprived his playmate of most of his remaining breath, and then let him get to his feet.

“Playing with me? He’s trying to squeeze me to death!”

“You’re the dominant lion,” Alex reminded him, trying not to laugh. “You proved that to him. So he thinks you’re bigger than he is.”

“You mean I’m going to get tackled like that again? Just because I rousted him out of your bed?”

“Something like that.”

“Oh, damn.”

“It’s your fault. You won the lioness, after all.”

“I thought I won the blue ribbon.”

“
We
won the blue ribbon. You won the lioness.”

Noah pulled her into his arms, ignoring the lion gumming his ankle. “Oh? And what did you win?”

Alex linked her fingers together behind her neck. She was thinking of two women who had loved a man with gray-blue eyes … and lost him. “I won … more than you’ll ever know,” she murmured.

His eyes were alight. “Sprite, you can have ten zoos if you like. Just as long as I have you.”

They might have remained at the cabin indefinitely, but both realized there could be no firm plans for their own future until Caliban’s safety had been assured. That would require their return to San Francisco, and it posed more problems than either liked to think about.

Starting a zoo on Noah’s land meant having it rezoned or getting a special permit from the city,
neither of which was going to be simple. There was also the matter of explaining her possession of Cal: she had no bill of sale, and had transported the animal across the country, breaking various laws in every state she’d passed through.

Cal’s wasn’t the only future in doubt.

She didn’t mention it to Noah, but he brought the subject up himself when they were packing the van. It was late afternoon: they were timing their return trip to reach home just before dawn.

“We need a bill of sale,” he said abruptly.

Alex was kneeling just inside the van, arranging boxes to leave room for the pets. She glanced through the door at Noah, then briefly beyond him to where Cal and Buddy lay sprawled a few feet away in the sunlight. “Maybe we can get by without one,” she said, knowing just how impossible it would be to obtain.

Noah handed her a small box and frowned as he watched her get it into place with the others. “You know better than that. One of the first questions someone’s going to ask is where we got Cal.
We’ll have to get a vet to look at him too: they’ll require a health certificate.” He studied her averted face for a moment. “Is there any chance at all of getting a bill of sale? The circus owner—”

She was shaking her head. “The circus disbanded a couple of years ago, and all the animals were sold. I heard on the grapevine that the owner headed immediately for Europe. I believe he had tax problems.”

“Grapevine?”

“Circus grapevine. Just because I no longer work in one doesn’t mean I’ve lost interest in the circus. Whenever one came into town, I visited. And circus people are always friendly to one of their own.”

“How friendly?” he asked slowly.

Alex sat back on her heels and stared at him. “You have something in mind?”

“Maybe.” Noah sat just inside the van. He smiled crookedly. “Since we’ve already broken the law—several laws, in fact—I’m not about to balk at breaking another if it’ll ensure Cal’s future. How about you?”

Very dryly she said, “I’m facing a few stiff fines and a possible jail term: what’s one more broken law?”

“A very small broken law,” Noah said absently, frowning in obvious thought. “And we wouldn’t be the only ones breaking it. That—to coin a phrase—is the rub. Whether it works will depend on just how friendly circus people are to their own. Would a circus person who was a stranger to you be willing to help us save Cal?”

She saw where he was heading. “You mean would one of them fake a bill of sale?”

“What d’you think?”

“If,” Alex said slowly, “it was a small circus, someone might. It depends. Circus people are individuals—some have more scruples than others.”

Noah smiled at that remark. Then he got to his feet. “Well, it’s the only out I can see. Without a bill of sale we’re sunk. With one at least we’ll be standing on partially legal ground.” He reached for the last box. “So tell me—how do we find a circus between here and San Francisco?”

Alex took the box and placed it with the others, smiling. “We find a phone,” she said briskly.

“Whom do we call?” he asked in a rueful tone.

“A lady I know. She was a circus performer back when it really
meant
something; she keeps up with the whereabouts of every circus in existence.”

“Is that possible?”

“It is for her. Every circus, from Ringling Brothers on down, keeps her on their mailing list. She has schedules and programs that are up-to-date, and lots of people write to tell her the latest gossip. Believe me, she’ll know where the nearest circus is.”

They had to take a chance and leave the cabin earlier than planned. Both were uneasy over the prospect of hauling a lion around in a van for as much as a couple of days, depending on where the nearest circus could be found, but they had little choice. They could hardly leave the pets alone in the cabin.

They found a phone as quickly as possible since
the lady Alex meant to call lived in the Midwest—another time zone. The old pay phone was at a small convenience store off the beaten path, and Noah pulled the van close; he remained inside and kept a wary eye on passersby. And he listened with interest to Alex’s side of the conversation; he could hear her easily since she’d left the booth’s door open.

“Sassy? Hi, it’s Alex. I know I promised to call, but things have been a little crazy. Yes, I moved to San Francisco, and that’s part of the reason I’m calling now. I want to settle there permanently. Well, I have a small problem. You remember Caliban? Oh, he’s fine, but I have to make him legal. I need someone to write up a bill of sale. Yes. A circus, I thought. Somewhere near San Francisco.”

Noah watched her face as she listened intently, and saw it brighten.

“It’s in Stockton? Didn’t Carlos sign up with Cordova? I thought so. That’s perfect, Sassy! He owes me. That time in Kansas City, you remember? He should be all healed by now.” Alex laughed suddenly. “I’ll remind him! And I’ll be calling you soon, Sassy. Yes. Thanks a lot. ’Bye.”

Noah waited until she’d returned to the passenger seat. “I gather this lady knows about Cal?”

“She’s one of the few people who does.”

“And who is Carlos?” he asked politely.

Alex was smiling, her eyes bright. “Someone who owes me a favor,” she said, clearly relishing the thought. “Head for Stockton: the Cordova circus is in town.”

Pulling the van out onto the highway, Noah sent her a glance. “Not to belabor a point, but why does he owe you a favor?”

“I pulled a Bengal tiger off him,” Alex said calmly.

After a moment, when he could trust his voice, Noah said, “I see. I gather he was in the process of getting hurt?”

“Mauled is more like it. That tiger hated men, and Carlos didn’t believe me when I told him that. He went into the cage before I could stop him. There wasn’t time to go for the tranquilizer gun, so I had to go in after him.”

“And you pulled the tiger off him—with your bare hands?”

“Seemed the thing to do at the time.”

Noah shook his head. “My darling sprite, if you ever do something like that around me, I’ll lock you up. If I don’t die of heart failure first.”

“It was my job, Noah, and I knew what I was doing.” Avoiding an argument, she went on hastily. “The point is, Carlos said he’d do anything he could to repay me. And he has a true Latin tongue; if he can’t talk Cordova into providing us with a bill of sale, I don’t know him.”

“But you do know him,” Noah said.

Alex looked at him in surprise. “If I didn’t know
you
better, I could swear …”

“That I was jealous?” He smiled just a little. “I am.”

“Why?” she asked blankly. “Noah, you surely can’t doubt how I feel about you! I love you. Carlos was never more than a friend, and sometimes not even that.”

After a moment Noah spoke slowly. “It isn’t that. I’m not jealous of him the way I’d be of another man in your past. It’s just—he’s a part of that
world you belonged to. He knows the people you know, knows a way of life that’s familiar to you. D’you understand, Alex? He knows a part of
you
I wish I could have known.”

She watched his serious profile and listened, beginning to understand, finally, the yearning look in his eyes whenever he’d asked her about her life in the circus.

“You were a child when you ran away to the circus, and you grew to be a woman there. I think that’s something a man always wishes he could have known about the woman he loves. And for us, that part of your life is so damned important. You didn’t just grow up, you learned a whole new set of instincts, a completely different way of life. I wish I could have seen that, Alex.”

Alex didn’t quite know what to say, but an instinctive part of her found words. “That coming of age wasn’t very important to the people I lived with then, Noah. It wasn’t unusual to them, so they didn’t watch. They didn’t care.” She leaned across the console to touch his cheek briefly. “And
Carlos wouldn’t have seen it anyway. He was with our circus for only a few months before he moved on, and that was just before I left myself. He was a trainer between jobs, traveling.”

Noah nodded and sent her a smile. “I just wanted you to understand how I feel about that part of your life,” he said huskily.

In a quiet voice she said, “You came of age in a war.”

“Yes.”

“I’d never want to see a war,” she said. “But I wish I could have seen a boy become a man. I wish I could have seen that part of you.” She could remember blue-gray eyes that were weary, devastated by war, and she wished she could have held Noah at that moment in his life the way she had held that other soldier, and perhaps eased his pain.

Noah reached out for her hand, holding it tightly. After a long moment he said softly, “There were times then that I dreamed about someone like you. Those dreams kept me sane.”

Alex lifted his hand to her cheek, silent, wondering about that other soldier. Had he died in that
war despite a woman’s conviction that he lived? Was that why he hadn’t come back to her? She pushed the thoughts away, grateful that this man had survived a war to find her.

They stopped briefly to buy take-out food along the way, then halted and parked the van some distance off the little-traveled road to catch a few hours sleep; they wanted to arrive in Stockton early in the morning. The pets were fed and allowed to stretch their legs, then all settled down to sleep.

And Alex dreamed of a blond woman laboring alone in childbirth, and of a Gypsy girl who no longer danced and sang before a campfire….

The van was moving again when Alex woke, yawning, to find that Noah had stopped somewhere and gotten coffee and sweet rolls for breakfast.