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It was a reminder of just how important it was for him to keep working on a plan. He really hadn’t come up with any sort of viable alternative to his bomb threat idea. Any chance he had to go after the terrorists himself seemed to be gone. So he had to focus on what he could do. But he struggled to come to any conclusion as to how to approach that problem. He didn’t want to get stuck with his fall back plan having made no effort to find another approach.

Lovelle had spent some time considering a political solution. He remembered that there had been evidence enough to suspect that a plot was afoot, if only the intelligence and counter intelligence agencies had followed through. A failure of cooperation between agencies was no small part of that problem. Although he hadn’t done so in this life, in his previous life he had minored in Political Science when he was in college. He wondered if maybe he could get involved in politics with the hopes of influencing a politician. Could he convince someone to press for more cooperation between the FBI and the CIA? If he could, then who would that be? It would need to be someone who was both influential and susceptible to influence. And since Lovelle was not ideologically in line with either party, he wondered how well he would be able to play the part of a partisan so as to get close to whatever politician he chose. He was an experienced enough liar by now. But could he be well versed enough in the rhetoric of one party or the other?

Two days after the Trade Center bombing Lovelle came home from work to hear on the news about the siege at the Branch Davidian compound in Waco Texas. This was something he knew was coming, but had no good idea what year it would occur. He wondered now how he hadn’t remembered it coming so close on the heels of the Trade Center attack. Then he remembered that he hadn’t even heard about it the first time until it had come to a head nearly two months later, when the fire decimated the compound.

Lovelle had been considering an intervention in the attack that would follow in Oklahoma City on the second anniversary of the Waco compound fire. He had been waiting for the siege, so he could know when to act. It seemed to him to be a very achievable goal. Whatever number of people might be involved in the plot to blow up the Murrah Federal Building, it could be stopped by stopping one individual. Timothy McVeigh was the chief planner and the ultimate perpetrator. If he could be stopped, then the whole incident could be avoided. Cleaning up any conspiracy afterward would not be Lovelle’s problem.

Now that he knew when the bombing was going to take place, he had to decide what type of action he would take. He briefly considered using the same bomb threat method which was his contingency plan for September 11. As he was leaning more and more heavily toward this method for 9/11, he thought a test run might be a useful endeavor. This consideration was short lived however. Partly because he wasn’t sure if he could truly glean any useful information from such an exercise. There was simply too little relationship between the two scenarios. He was also concerned about the efficacy of such an action. Even if he were successful in getting the building evacuated, McVeigh would still blow up the truck and take out the building. That was not to mention the individuals who were responding to his threat, any stragglers who hadn’t exited the building quickly enough, or maybe bystanders on the street. In so far as he thought he had a reasonably good shot at stopping McVeigh altogether, he couldn’t justify such a risky proposition, other than, again, as a last resort. He quickly decided that he should put law enforcement onto McVeigh’s plot and forestall the whole affair. Now he just had to work out the details.

With two plots to foil now, Lovelle was very focused. He spent much of his free time planning and doing research into the situations. If he wasn’t looking into the activities of the Michigan Militia, he was tracking the careers of politicians he thought might be pressed into service. He was considering other ways that he might get airports to step up their own diligence. It was a busy time for him.

*****

Even with everything going on, Lovelle also occasionally talked to Katie. Just like Trina, there was a noticeable difference in her attitude when she found out about Lisa. It was only then that she felt secure enough to let her guard down with him. She had been concerned, and with good reason, that he had continued to carry a torch for her. Once she relaxed, she pushed him to open up to her. But, Lovelle resisted this sort of close confidentiality. Even though he was sure she would have been a marvelous substitute for Trina's friendship, he just couldn’t imagine subjecting himself to the details of Katie’s own relationship, which he could naturally expect in return.

Soon enough it was the holiday season, and Lovelle decided to take the plunge. He bought an engagement ring and wrapped it up as a Christmas present. He convinced Lisa to spend Christmas Eve alone with him and brought the box out at the end of the night. As she opened the wrapping he knelt in front of her as if to pick up the paper. She opened the box, expecting earrings or some other jewelry. Her eyes opened wide as she realized what she had in her hand. She looked down at him and didn’t wait for him to ask for her hand.

“Yes! Yes I’ll marry you.” she answered his unasked question and started to cry,

“Don’t cry Sugar. You know I can’t take it when women cry.” And he started to tear up himself.

Within days he and Lisa had set a date. Lisa was to graduate in April, and they were to wed in May. She was determined to have all of her ducks in a row before the end of her holiday break, and she was a very organized person. As for Lovelle, he maintained a strictly hands off policy. After all, this was his second wedding. He felt no particular need to control the affair in any way. He was the most agreeable person he had ever been. He simply made himself available for anything Lisa needed, and then sat back and watched the magic.

Sure enough, by the time she started her final semester they had a church, a hall, and a band. The invitations were on order, as was the gown. Everything else would be easy from there. And that’s when he stepped back and looked at the situation for the first time. Lovelle suddenly realized how far astray he had gotten from any sort of plan he had started out with. In his rush to be with Katie he had failed with her well before they were actually even supposed to meet. Now, he was about to marry someone else around the time he should have been getting engaged to Katie. He wasn’t due to actually be married for another 2 years. The first time around he would have still been acting like a kid, hanging out with friends he had never even met this time, and still believing that he would never get married.

He should have expected that. He couldn’t be that immature guy, even if he was occupying that young guy’s space. As mature as he might have thought he was back then, he had years of growing up to do. But now he was a middle aged man, even if he did have the vibrancy of a 24 year old.

Not that any of that was of particular importance now. It was water under the bridge. His upcoming nuptials had given him the determination to live for the present. Sure, he would always have regrets. But he had had plenty of regrets the first time around and he would have given anything to be able to recreate every one of those missteps to get back to the place where he had left off. And now he was in love with Lisa, and whatever had been her story during his first life, this was her reality now. She didn’t have a phantom past hanging over her, and she didn’t deserve one. So Lovelle put those feelings in a metaphorical box and gave her his love unconditionally.

While he was preoccupied, making plans, time slipped by. Suddenly he was only a couple of weeks away from his own wedding. Considering the short time frame and the almost complete lack of assistance from her fiancé, Lisa should have been a little frazzled. Instead, she was the picture of composure. She seemed to get funnier, smarter, and more beautiful as the day approached. He couldn’t be sure how being married would affect her, but, she wore the engagement extremely well. And her confidence put him more at ease than he had been in a long time. He wasn’t at all sure about what he would do about the terrorists, but, he was finally feeling very confident about his personal life.

His world was very balanced now. It had taken a little time, but Lisa was really making him forget about his feelings for Trina and Katie. She had even convinced him to invite Katie to the wedding. This was a decision that Trina couldn’t resist commenting on.

“Isn’t it a little awkward having Katie at your wedding?”

“I don’t know, it’s not like we ever went out.” he said smiling to himself as he thought,
Why would it be awkward, she’s only my wife and the mother of my child. What could be awkward about that?

“Yeah, but you were pretty hung up on her. I mean, we’re not talking about a little crush.”

“Hey, it was Lisa’s idea. She insisted on having my friends there, and I haven’t exactly surrounded myself with a lot of them.”

“Yeah, well, Lisa’s a sweetheart. But that doesn’t mean she wants your old love interests around.”

“What are you talking about? She knows all about Katie.” Lovelle was secretly happy to find out that Lisa wasn’t sharing everything with Trina. “I don’t like to keep secrets,” which was true, insofar as he would tell her anything that didn’t make him sound like a nut case. “She even knows about us.”

“What about us? Did you tell her that I had a crush on you?” Trina snapped in a rare moment of true ire.

“Do you really think I would say something like that about you?” he snapped back.

“No.” She said almost apologetically.

“Good.” he paused then explained himself. “I told her that we talked about dating, but the timing was never right. I told her that at first it was my choice, and then it was yours.”

She looked at him, a little puzzled. “What do you mean it was my choice? You never told me you wanted to go out. When did that happen?”

“You took that option off the table.” He explained,” Don’t tell me you don’t remember that speech you gave me?”

“Of course I remember the speech. I rehearsed it for a week so I wouldn’t screw it up,” She admitted.

He chuckled. “You rehearsed it?”

“Yes!” she said sheepishly, “It really hurt me to give up on you.”

“I’m sorry Trina.” Lovelle felt bad for dredging up the past. “You know I never wanted to make you feel bad.”

“I know. You just… Hey, don’t change the subject.” She interrupted herself. “You said it was my choice. Does that mean you changed your mind sometime and didn’t tell me?”

“It was never about changing my mind. I always had feelings for you. There were just things in the way. I’m not sure if things would have ever cleared up for both of us at the same time. I just didn’t consider it after you told me not to.” He lied in the hope that she would let it drop. She didn’t.

“So you just turned your feelings off  like a faucet.” She was obviously pretty skeptical.

“I’m not a robot. I’m always going to have feelings for you.” As soon as the phrase left his mouth he wanted to grab it out of the air and swallow it back down. This was not a discussion he wanted to have, particularly right before his wedding. “I just quit worrying about acting on them after your speech. But, you know me, I probably would have always had an excuse anyhow.” he tried again to extricate himself from the situation. “And now I’ve got Lisa and you’ve got Paul. I don’t think it’s turned out too badly for us.”

Had this discussion occurred at any other time it would have stirred up all kinds of emotions Lovelle didn’t want to deal with. But he was in a state of pre-wedding bliss. By the time of the wedding his feelings for Lisa couldn't have been any stronger. As he stood at the altar, he hardly noticed how beautiful Trina looked in her silly bridesmaid dress. Or how stunning Katie looked in her anything but silly form fitting Oriental dress. It was only through the magic of photography that he was later able to see just what he had missed that evening.

When Lisa appeared at the end of the aisle she was a vision. Her dress, her hair, everything was gorgeous. He was so happy. Everything went along perfectly. She had put together an incredible affair in such an unbelievably short time. Their friends and family would talk about how much they enjoyed themselves for a long time to come. It was a wonderful way to kick off a marriage.

The honeymoon was every bit the equal of the reception. They spent a week in the Caribbean. They did everything you could want to do during the days, and enjoyed some of the most romantic evenings he could imagine. By the time they arrived home he simply saw his new bride as a goddess. They quickly moved her into his apartment, anxious to begin their lives together.

That’s when the bloom came off the rose. Lisa, although no less romantic and sweet, was a control freak. She had to run everything. She just could not bring herself to give up any control of their finances, their social life, their love life, or anything else. She was never nasty about it, but then, he never backed her into a corner to see what she would do. Lovelle was simply a pushover and just relinquished the power.

Lovelle should have seen it coming. He surely would have had he tried to interfere in the planning of the wedding. But he’d been happy to give her control of that, and the issue never arose.

Of course, just like the wedding, Lisa was eminently more capable of handling their affairs than he would have been. It would have been difficult to argue with most of her decisions even if he had wanted to. But, the fact remained that he was not used to handing control over to someone else. He expected to have a say. He’d had a true partnership with Katie, and expected the same in this marriage. The result was a growing resentment that would have to boil over at some point. He needed to vent. But, he didn’t know who to talk with. He believed that Trina was now closer to his wife than she was to him. She could have helped him to deal with the situation, but, he couldn’t bring himself to trust that she would keep his confidence. He was wrong about that, but at the time, his perception was skewed.