Timeless Mist (29 page)

"What about?" She
glanced at Sorcha again, who reached to pat her hand sooth
ingly
.

"Nay, I will nay discuss it
now in the midst of e'eryone here. 'Tis a private matter."

"Um okay. Do I at least get
a hint?"

Iain thought a moment before he
nodded, "'tis about your future."

Kris sucked in a breath, her
hands twisted nervous
ly
in her lap. She searched her mind for the mean
ing
behind those words. What could he possib
ly
have
to say about her
future?
Was
he go
ing
to throw her out? No,
she did
n't
think
Sorcha would ever let him do
that
.
She took a few deep breaths to calm her sudden
ly
rattled nerves and decided to wait and see what he
had
to say. Until then, she would try to eat
and
not
worry about
it, though it went against her nature and went a long way in effective
ly
kill
ing
her appetite.

*          *          *

"Would ye
like
some wine?" Iain
asked Kris as she sat in a surpris
ingly
comfortable chair in his study.

She shook her head, "
not
unless it's well watered
down."

He grinned at her and nodded,
pour
ing
himself a
tankard of ale. He'd been think
ing
all day of how he
was
go
ing
to approach her
about the subject of a betrothal between them.

Kris took the goblet of wine he
handed her and sipped it. It would at least help to alleviate the sudden
dryness of her mouth. She
was
nervous about this conversation and though she tried to hide it, she knew her
bounc
ing
leg probab
ly
gave it away.

Iain smiled at her again and sat
down at his desk across from her. Kris watched him from beneath lo
were
d lashes. If she did
n't
know better, she'd think
he looked nervous.
That
observation made her feel better for a moment.

But why
was
he nervous? A little voice in her head
asked before she could relax.
Was
it because he
was
go
ing
to tell her she
had
to leave the castle? Maybe
tell her she would
have
to go find a cottage in the village to live and some way to survive? But what
did she know how to do? She could paint. Maybe she would be able to earn a liv
ing
do
ing
that
.

She took a deep breath and
had
just decided to put him
out of his misery by thank
ing
him for his hospitality, but she
really
thought it
was
time
she found her own way in the world when Iain spoke first.

"The reason I wanted to
speak wi' ye is to discuss your future here, lass." He put a hand up to
stop her before she could respond to
that
.
He
not
iced she sat
stiff
ly
in her chair
and realized she must be nervous about what he
had
to say. He cursed himself silent
ly
,
realiz
ing
he should
have
spoken up earlier to
put her fears to rest.

Kris spoke up, ignor
ing
his look and his
outstretched hand.

"I know I need to find some
way to make a liv
ing
. Maybe
I can find a small place in the village and live there. Is there an empty
cottage there I might be able to rent from you?"

"I dinnae think
that
will be necessary,
lass."

"But…"

"Just hear me out before ye
jump to conclusions. I
have
a proposition to put to ye, but I dinnae want ye to take what I say the wrong
way, nor answer right away. I wish ye to think o'er verra careful
ly
my suggestion before ye
say aye or nay to it. Will ye do
that
?"

Kris thought for a moment, then
nodded slow
ly
. She
knew it would be difficult for her to comp
ly
with
that
request, so
she said, "I will do my best."

He smiled at her and got up to
pace before the fire. "I ha'e thought long about what I am to say to ye
and 'tis the best solution I can come up wi'. Ye need to be protected. Ye ha'e
nay idea how vulnerable ye are. Nay just as a lass on her own, but as one who
is nay from this time. 'Tis nay easy for a lass wi' out kin or clan to take
care of her and protect her. 'Twill nay be easy for ye to make a liv
ing
either. The on
ly
ones
that
can oft do the
like
are prostitutes and I
dinnae think ye wish to make a liv
ing
be
ing
a whore. Ye
could try your hand at be
ing
a seamstress, but ye ha'e said ye dinnae sew."

Kris gasped and shook her head.

Iain took a deep breath and
continued, "so, here is my suggestion. I propose we handfast." He put
up his hand to stop the outburst he sensed com
ing
from her when he heard her sharp intake of breath.

"Nay. Hear me out before ye
say nay. If we are betrothed or handfasted, then ye will be under my
protection. My clan, the people in my clan doonae trust strangers and wi' good
reason. As my betrothed, howe'er, ye will be accepted more readi
ly
as one of the clan. Ye
will nay longer be looked upon as an outsider. Ye are English. 'Tis excuse
enough for some well-mean
ing
soul to do ye harm, especial
ly
now. Ye will still ha'e to earn the trust of the people, but 'twill be easier
to do if we are wed or at least betrothed. If we are handfasted, then after a
year and a day, ye, or I, will be free to either stay wi' each other and ha'e a
formal wedd
ing
ceremony, or we may part wi' no consequences. By
that
time, ye may wish to be wi' someone else. Such a th
ing
isnae frowned upon and willnae be held
against ye."

"So it's sort of
like
a trial marriage?"

"Aye, ye could say
that
." Iain looked at
her, but did
not
meet
her eyes. "We dinnae e'en need to consummate it if ye dinnae wish
it."

Kris
was
silent a long time before she ans
were
d.

"I can see the logic behind
what you say. And I know you're right, too, about my surviv
ing
in this time. It's a
whole new world for me and I do
n't
understand all the ins and outs of it yet. All I know about this time period is
what I've read about in the history books. To read about it is
not
the same as liv
ing
it." She looked
down at her hands and realized they
were
trembl
ing
. She clasped
them together to stop their shak
ing
.
"I ca
n't
answer
you right now, though. I need some time to think about this. I mean, it's a big
decision to make."

"Of course it is. 'Tis a big
decision for me as well, Kristianna, one I doonae take light
ly
. I will gi'e ye the time
ye need to think it all o'er."

"Thank you."

"I shall see ye back to your
rooms now, lass."

He left her at her door with a
kiss
that
curled her
toes. "Think on
that
as well when ye are mak
ing
your decision." He left without look
ing
back at her.

*          *          *

Kris stood with her hand on the
door star
ing
after Iain.
Had
he
really
just asked her to
marry him? She shook her head and shut the door with a quiet click then bolted
it.

She sat in the chair by the
hearth and stared unsee
ing
into the flames. Iain
hadn't
spoken of feel
ing
s or
of love. He
hadn't
even spoken of car
ing
about her at all. He'd even said they did
n't
have
to consummate the
marriage.
Was
that
what he hoped? And what
was
she supposed to do
after this supposed handfast
ing
was
at an end?

 It might be easier for her if
she
hadn't
started to
have
feel
ing
s for the man. And how
was
she supposed to hide
those feel
ing
s if they
were
wed? Would
n't
they be spend
ing
a lot
more time together? And if Iain wanted
his clan to think they
were
really
wed, or
handfasted, how far would they
have
to go to portray
that
to
the people? Would
n't
they
have
too at least
pretend they cared for each other? Of course, there would
n't
be any pretense on her
part.

Kris sighed and rose to pace.  

This
was
just so bad on so many levels. She
had
to be reasonable, to
think logical
ly
, but
her feel
ing
s for him
had
not
h
ing
to do with reason or logic. Iain raised old fears and uncertainties in her. Feel
ing
s she thought she
had
let die a long time ago.
It seemed those feel
ing
s
were
on
ly
buried. Deep in her
heart, she knew she'd always been afraid of these emotions. Afraid of lov
ing
too much, afraid of be
ing
hurt again, afraid of
never find
ing
what she
really
sought.

A man who would love her for her.
Not
someone who would
try to change her or make her over, but one she could talk to, who would listen
to her and enjoy be
ing
with her. Would she ever find
that
sort of th
ing
now?

She high
ly
doubted it.
Not
with the way fate
had
treated her recent
ly
.

Iain
was
right. The best solution at the moment
would be for them to wed, or handfast as he'd put it. So why
was
she agoniz
ing
over the decision?

Because no matter what he'd said
about it on
ly
be
ing
for a year and a day,
she knew she'd want more. She wanted to know she belonged, too know she
was
cared for. Could he give
her
that
car
ing
? Even just a little bit?

She'd seen the desire in his
eyes, he'd even kissed her a few times, kisses
that
had
literal
ly
rocked her socks. But did
that
mean he cared? Or
simp
ly
that
he wanted her in his
bed. Men did
n't
always
equate emotions with lust. They
were
usual
ly
two separate
th
ing
s, and in her
experience, men could
not
think with both their brain and their…well, um,
that
part of their anatomy, at the same time. She blushed at the thought.

She
was
frozen in a sort of limbo where any
decisions or actions seemed impossible. The haze of feel
ing
s and desires
were
enough to send her runn
ing
for cover.

Stopp
ing
her pac
ing
,
she gazed out the window and tried to weigh the whole situation. To put all the
emotions aside for the time be
ing
and think on just the structure of events. If she did
n't
accept Iain's 'proposal', her future looked
vague and s
had
owy. She
had
no skills to speak
of
that
she could use
to support herself and no other prospects either.

She closed the shutters and
leaned against them. As she saw it, she
had
no other recourse. She would
have
to tell Iain yes. And hope and pray
that
somehow she could keep her emotions from becom
ing
too involved.

Huh, fat chance there.

Before she went to speak to Iain,
however, she would take some time to think it through and gear herself up for
what
was
to come.

Chapter Eighteen

Iain closed his eyes and opened
them again, try
ing
to
concentrate on the figures before him, but his mind kept wander
ing
.

It
had
been
almost
two days
since he'd suggested a handfast
ing
to Kristianna. Since then he'd
not
even seen her, except at a distance. She'd taken all of her meals in her room,
tell
ing
Elsbeth she
needed time alone to think.

When Iain
had
inquired after her, Elsbeth
had
delivered
that
message to him. He
wanted to ask more, but
hadn't
dared. It would do no good to let on
that
he
was
beginn
ing
to care for the lass.

Runn
ing
a hand through his hair, he gave up on try
ing
to decipher the numbers
before him, rose from his desk and walked to the hearth. Lean
ing
against the mantle, he
stared unsee
ing
into
the flames. He
was
anxious about Kris' answer and think
ing
about it on
ly
made it
worse, but he simp
ly
could
not
get his mind
to focus on the task at hand.

Start
ing
at a hand laid on his arm, he looked up to
find his
màthair
beside him. He
hadn't
even heard her enter his solar.

"Ye look troubled."

Iain dropped his arms and strode
back to his desk.

"Would ye care to tell me
what is on your mind?"

He started to say nay, then
thought better of it. Perhaps his
màthair
,
be
ing
from Kris' own
time, could tell him what it
was
that
Kristianna needed
to think on for so long.

"I imagine ye ha'e spoken
with Kris." It
wasn't
exact
ly
a question.

Iain nodded.

"Might I inquire what ye
said to her and why we ha'e nay seen her in two days?"

Iain slow
ly
nodded his head "I asked her to
handfast wi' me." He sank heavi
ly
into his chair, and looked at Sorcha, know
ing
that
was
not
enough. She would want the entire tale.

Sorcha raised a skeptical brow at
him and settled herself in the chair across the desk. "And?"

"And what? She said she
would think on it and
that
is the last I ha'e seen of her."

"Iain," Sorcha began
deliberate
ly
,
"doonae be obtuse. Ye know what it is I wish to know. What exact
ly
did ye say to the
lass?"

He rose from his chair and went
to stand before the window, "I explained the situation to her, about the
clan and such, then gave her the best solution to the problem as I saw
it."

"Iain, please tell me ye
dinnae suggest to her
that
it would be a logical th
ing
for ye to wed?"

"And what is wrong wi'
that
?" he asked
defensive
ly
, turn
ing
to face her.

Sorcha rolled her eyes at him as
she stood up, her hands go
ing
to her hips. "Ha'e I taught ye
not
h
ing
about women? Dinnae I
explain to ye what women from the future are
like
?"
She did
n't
wait for
his nod of affirmation, but continued in her tirade. "I could ha'e sworn I
told ye
that
women
like
Kristianna are fierce
ly
independent."

"Aye,
màthair
, ye did. Which is
why, giv
ing
her a
logical explanation
was
the best way to go as I saw it. She is an intelligent lass, and needed to know
the truth of her position."

"I agree she is verra
intelligent. But she is also a woman, Iain. And all women, no matter the
century, ha'e feel
ing
s
that
cannae be
ignored. A woman doesnae wish to be told it is a
logical
idea for her to
wed, especial
ly
a
woman from the twenty-first century."

She moved to stand beside him at
the window, turn
ing
his face to meet his gaze. "I know ye, Iain. Ye are a kind-hearted lad and
mayhaps ye feel th
ing
s
too much at times. Ye care for this lass. I can see it in your face e'ery time
ye gaze at her when ye think no one is watch
ing
.
Ye must nay be afraid to let those feel
ing
s
come out. Kristianna needs to be wooed. Aye, and she deserves it, too."

"And how would ye suggest I
do
that
,
màthair
. In case ye ha'e
forgotten, there is a war go
ing
on."

"Dinnae get sur
ly
wi' me, my fine laird. Ye
willnae get far wi'
that
kind of attitude wi' Kristianna, either. I am offer
ing
ye my suggestions and my opinion. Take them
as ye
like
, or
not
, 'tis entire
ly
up to you."

She turned and stalked to the
door, "but I am tell
ing
you, ye willnae get far wi'
that
lass if ye dinnae heed me. Oh, she may say ye aye, but without a woo
ing
, ye will ne'er ha'e her
heart. Nay ful
ly
. She
needs to see who ye
really
are, Iain. To see beyond the man ye present as laird, to see the real man
beneath the walls and shields ye ha'e erected around yourself."

With
that
, she left the room, clos
ing
the door with a quiet
click.

Iain turned back to the window
and watched the go
ing
s
on in the inner bailey with unsee
ing
eyes. His thoughts turned over all his
màthair
said and aye, she
was
correct. Kristianna did deserve to be wooed. He just
was
not
certain it
was
in him
to do the
like
.

He gave himself a mental shake
and refocused his attention. He
had
work to do, th
ing
s to
see accomplished. He
had
no time to wonder how to woo a girl from the future.
Not
that
he
really
wanted too,
either. He would just
have
to force his thoughts away from such frivolities.

Mayhap later, when he
was
alone in his rooms, he
would turn his mind to such th
ing
s.
As well as how to woo her without her think
ing
he cared over
ly
much
for her. Which he did
not
,
he reminded himself, firm
ly
.

He scanned the scene below again,
this time
really
look
ing
, until his gaze came to
rest on the lists.

Raibert
was
there with Devyn, train
ing
the lad. He watched with
a critical eye for a few moments. Devyn's movements as he tried to copy Raibert
were
a bit jerky and
uncertain, but the lad
had
potential. He seemed eager to learn e
very
th
ing
Raibert tried to teach
him.

Train
ing
Devyn might help to refocus his mind to
more important and productive th
ing
s
than whether or
not
Kris would answer him in the affirmative or
not
.
What he would do if she said nay, and how, if
that
was
the case, he could
entice her into say
ing
aye, he
had
no idea.

Aye, he nodded to himself; he
would put aside any and all thoughts of woo
ing
Kristianna until later. Mayhap he would speak to Raibert about it. Although his
captain
was
a
suspicious sort, he never seemed to lack for female companionship.

*          *          *

Kris stood on the high walls of
the keep and
very
careful
ly
, hold
ing
on for dear life, looked
down. It
was
quite
a way down to the
ground from where she stood and she drew a shudder
ing
breath at her foolishness. She did
n't
usual
ly
climb this high if she
could help it and never on purpose, be
ing
death
ly
afraid of
heights.

She closed her eyes and took a
firmer grip on the wall, will
ing
the dizziness to dissipate. She probab
ly
should
n't
have
given in to the urge
this morn
ing
to check
out the view from the top of the keep, but she'd needed some fresh air, more
than the small window in her room would allow her.
Not
want
ing
to run into Iain before she
was
ready to give him her answer, she'd opted for the walkway instead.

Although she could
have
asked Sorcha or even
Elsbeth to accompany her, and thus felt safer, but she
wasn't
ready to answer Sorcha's inquiries just
yet. At least
not
before she'd informed Iain of her decision. And she'd
had
enough of Elsbeth's question
ing
looks over the past two
days to last the rest of her life.

She opened her eyes and took a
deep breath. The lightheadedness
was
well worth it just for the view before her. She could see for miles now
that
the mist
had
final
ly
burned off with the ear
ly
afternoon sun.

Beginn
ing
to relax a bit, she rested her elbows on
the wall and sighed with pleasure, glad for once her curiosity
had
gotten the better of
her.

The air
was
crisp and cool, but the sun, along with the
cloak she'd grabbed from the chest, warmed her well enough. This
was
what she'd needed. Some
time alone, out in the fresh air to think and weigh her decision more careful
ly
.

Say
ing
yes to Iain
was
a
very
logical and reasonable
th
ing
to do consider
ing
her options. Which at
this point in time
were
quite
limited to say
the least. But what about emotions?
Were
there go
ing
to be any
feel
ing
s involved at
all? Of course there
had
been those kisses
that
tended to curl her toes, but did they
have
any effect on Iain?

She blew her hair out of her eyes
in annoyance. What
was
the use? She'd asked all these questions the day Iain
had
proposed
to her and she
was
no closer to an answer
now than she'd been two days ago.

She'd avoided Iain
like
he
had
the plague. She simp
ly
could
n't
think with
that
man around. Her
thoughts kept wander
ing
to what it would be
like
if he cared for her, if he could come to love her as much as she
was
realiz
ing
she loved him.

She did
n't
know why. He
hadn't
exact
ly
made her feel
welcome and secure. There
was
just someth
ing
about
him
that
drew her,
like
a moth to the flame. Cliché,
yes, but true just the same.

And when he held her, she felt as
if she'd come home, she
did
feel safe and secure, as if no outside force
could touch her or harm her ever again.

Well, whatever came of it, for
better or worse, she'd made her decision. She
wasn't
about to go back on it now. She on
ly
had
to tell Iain. Then
maybe some of her questions about where they went from there would be ans
were
d.

With a sigh, she turned and
headed back down the stairs. She'd find Elsie and ask her where Iain
was
, or perhaps one of the
other servants would know.

She might as well get this over
with.

*          *          *

Iain cleaned up his papers, putt
ing
them in the special
drawer his father
had
built into the desk. He'd work on those later, after some train
ing
put his mind back on the
right track.

He strode purposeful
ly
to the door and swung it
open, on
ly
to
have
Kristianna
almost
fall into his arms.

"What the…? Lass, are ye
alright?" Curse it.

Kris shook her head to clear the
sudden rush of emotion caused from be
ing
so close to him. She'd
almost
forgotten how good-look
ing
he
was
.

"What?"

"I asked if ye
were
alright. I near
ly
sent ye sprawl
ing
."