Tiny Buddha's Guide to Loving Yourself: 40 Ways to Transform Your Inner Critic and Your Life

BOOK: Tiny Buddha's Guide to Loving Yourself: 40 Ways to Transform Your Inner Critic and Your Life
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PRAISE FOR
TINY BUDDHA'S GUIDE TO LOVING YOURSELF

“Loving yourself is the foundation for finding inner peace, happiness, and the ability to love others. In this wonderful book, Lori Deschene does something remarkable. She makes the topic of loving yourself come alive in a way that is both highly entertaining and very practical. This is one book that shouldn't be missed.”

—J
ONATHAN
R
OBINSON
, founder of
FindingHappiness.com
and the author of
Communication Miracles for Couples

“You have to love yourself to love other people and your life. In this powerful collection of stories and insights, Lori Deschene and other Tiny Buddha contributors share how they overcome shame, insecurity, and perfectionism to help you do just that. I highly recommend
Tiny Buddha's Guide to Loving Yourself
to anyone who needs a little help recognizing their worth and potential.”

—K
AREN
S
ALMANSOHN
, bestselling author of
Prince Harming Syndrome

“This wonderful collection of personal stories and words of wisdom will help you become kinder and more compassionate to yourself, and ultimately show you how to lead a happier and more fulfilling life.”

—K
RISTIN
N
EFF
, author of
Self-Compassion
,
Stop Beating Yourself Up
and
Leave Insecurity Behind

“We can all feel broken, wounded, and alone at times, but never while reading this beautiful, wise guide to taking good care of ourselves. Some of us need permission to do that. All of us can find inspiration and powerful lessons in
Tiny Buddha's
openhearted, generous community of teachers. I'm so grateful to have found them.”

—P
RISCILLA
W
ARNER
, author of
Learning to Breathe: My Yearlong Quest to Bring Calm to My Life

“Reading Lori Deschene's wonderful new book,
Tiny Buddha's Guide to Loving Yourself
, is like listening to a good friend who reminds you of who you are when you need to hear it the most. Deschene and her contributors write about real-life situations with real-life solutions and they do it with the same unflinching honesty that has made
TinyBuddha.com
so popular. If you are ever hard on yourself—and who isn't—you need to read this book.”

—A
MANDA
O
WEN
, author of
The Power of Receiving

PRAISE FOR
TINY BUDDHA, SIMPLE WISDOM FOR LIFE'S HARD QUESTIONS

“How can we find happiness and peace—right now, right here? In her engaging, thought-provoking book
Tiny Buddha
, Lori Deschene explores this enormous question to help readers grapple with challenges like money, love, pain, control, and meaning, in order to find greater happiness.”

—G
RETCHEN
R
UBIN
, author of
The Happiness Project

“Lori is one of a kind. Her amazing heart and wisdom shine through in everything she writes! I am a HUGE fan of
Tiny Buddha
, and I'm constantly inspired by Lori and her work.”

—M
ASTIN
K
IPP
, founder of The Daily Love (
thedailylove.com
)

“There's nothing tiny about the extra-large dose of awesome stuffed into Lori's writing. Read it and feel good about the world.”

—N
EIL
P
ASRICHA
, founder and author of
1000 Awesome Things
and
The Book of Awesome

“Few people in our time have more passionately or more creatively applied wisdom teachings to a new digital generation than Lori Deschene. I am continually inspired by her writing, and also by her sincere dedication to learning, growth, and wisdom. I feel tremendously fortunate to have had the chance to get to know her work through
Tiny Buddha
, and to know her as a person. Both embody the same essential truths.”

—S
OREN
G
ORDHAMER
, founder and author of
Wisdom 2.0

“Lori Deschene doesn't claim to be anybody's guru. But it's that lack of pretense and her total candor—how she tells her own often-wild story without flinching—that is so magnetic, inviting a sense of ease with our own wrinkles, too, and fostering a sense of personal possibility. As she asks: Are you ready to be free?”

—M
ARGARET
R
OACH
, author of
And I Shall Have Some Peace There


Tiny Buddha
is a moving and insightful synthesis of evocative stories and ancient wisdom applied to modern life. A great read!”

—J
ONATHAN
F
IELDS
, author of
Uncertainty

“I spent months retweeting posts from a mystery handle called @tinybuddha. I wasn't the only one: Hundreds of thousands of people followed the daily messages. I was intrigued and made it a point to meet the woman behind the message. Today, Lori Deschene is a friend and fellow author who spreads truth and inspiration throughout the twittersphere, her blog, and now her new book! Lori has shifted the energy of the Internet with her loving daily posts and now she is sharing more with the world throughout her incredible book!”

—G
ABRIELLE
B
ERNSTEIN
, author of
Add More –ing to your Life
and
Spirit Junkie

First published in 2013 by Conari Press, an imprint of

Red Wheel/Weiser,
LLC

With offices at:

665 Third Street, Suite 400

San Francisco, CA 94107

www.redwheelweiser.com

Copyright © 2013 by Lori Deschene

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from Red Wheel/Weiser,
LLC
. Reviewers may quote brief passages.

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data:

Deschene, Lori.

Tiny Buddha's guide to loving yourself : 40 ways to transform your inner critic and your life / Lori Deschene.

    pages cm

ISBN 978-1-57324-627-9

1. Self-acceptance. 2. Criticism, Personal. I. Title.

BF575.S37D47 2013

158.1--dc23

2013016513

Cover design by Nita Ybarra

Cover photograph of Buddha, © suvijakra/shutterstock; photograph of calligraphy,
© rodho/shutterstock

Interior by Maureen Forys, Happenstance Type-O-Rama

Typeset in Perpetua and Futura with Cowboy Western

Printed in the United States of America

C

10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

The paper used in this publication meets the minimum requirements of the American
National Standard for Information Sciences—Permanence of Paper for Printed Library
Materials Z39.48-1992 (R1997).

www.redwheelweiser.com

www.redwheelweiser.com/newsletter

In loving memory of Jeanne “Grambo” Santoro
.

You weren't just loveable; you were love, in its purest, rarest form
.

CONTENTS

Acknowledgments

About Tiny Buddha and This Book

About My Journey to This Book

1. When You're Stuck in Your Childhood: Moving Beyond What You Learned

Top 4 Tips About Moving Beyond Your Childhood Pain

2. When You're Obsessed with Fixing Yourself: Realizing You're Not Broken

Top 4 Tips to Stop Feeling Broken

3. When You Focus on Your Flaws: Accepting All of You

Top 4 Tips About Self-Acceptance

4. When You're Hard on Yourself: Embracing Self-Forgiveness

Top 4 Tips About Forgiving Yourself

5. When You Focus on Getting Approval: Releasing the Need for Validation

Top 4 Tips About Releasing the Need for Approval

6. When You Think Other People Are Better: Letting Go of Comparisons

Top 4 Tips About Releasing Comparisons

7. When You're Trying to Fill a Void: Learning to Complete Yourself

Top 4 Tips About Completing Yourself

8. When You're Scared to Be Real: Allowing Yourself to Be Authentic

Top 4 Tips About Being Authentic

9. When You Don't Prioritize Self-Care: Taking Care of Yourself

Top 4 Tips About Taking Care of Yourself

10. When You Don't Feel You Make a Difference: Believing in Your Worth and Discovering Your Path

Top 4 Tips About Believing in Your Worth and Discovering Your Path

Conclusion

The Tips

The Quotes

The Stories

The Contributors

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

F
OR EVERY BOOK, THERE ARE INNUMERABLE PEOPLE TO THANK
, but in this one there are forty times as many. First and foremost, thank you to all of the contributors who shared their stories and insights. I'm inspired by your honesty and vulnerability, and grateful to have learned from you. Thank you also to all of the family members, friends, and teachers who have touched your lives and helped shape you into the beautiful people you are.

To my family, including but not limited to Kevin, Marianne, Tara, Ryan, Pauline, Cassie, Pat, Jim, and Justin, who will live on in all of our hearts (and my many aunts, uncles, and cousins, both Deschene- and Santoro-descended), thank you for being kind, supportive, generous, funny, and always entertaining. I'm grateful that from the east to the west, I'm surrounded by laughter and love. To Jan, Pat, Susie, Vanessa, and the rest of the team at Conari, thank you for all your efforts in making another Tiny Buddha book come to life. To Joshua Denney of Think Web Strategy, thank you for not only being a gifted designer, but also for being available for around-the-clock Skype chats, whether related to Tiny Buddha or not.

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