Titanic: The Long Night (12 page)

But Nola was impervious. “And it is my intention to see that you never do. Go along to bed now, Elizabeth, we’re all tired.” Removing her diamond earrings and tossing them on the vanity, she cried, “Oh, I
wish
we were getting to New York tomorrow! This trip is not as delightful as I had hoped.”

Elizabeth’s father looked at her as if to say, Now see what you’ve done, and went to his wife to comfort her.

In disgust, Elizabeth went into her own cabin and shut the door.

It was all Max’s fault. He shouldn’t have been looking at her like that, shouldn’t have placed his face so close to hers. It was his fault. But she was the one being punished.

Elizabeth sank down on her bed, marveling once again at how steady the ship was. She might have as easily been sitting on a bed in a hotel on solid ground, so smoothly were they sailing. If I had a talent like Lily, she told herself defensively, I could earn my own way in the world, too. I wouldn’t have to do what my parents say. But the only thing I seem to have any talent for is shopping.

As if to add to her misery, the injured ankle began to throb again.

Quiet tears slid down Elizabeth’s face as she lay down on the bed and pulled the embroidered coverlet over her.

In the third-class general room, Katie shared none of Elizabeth’s misery. After the delicious evening meal, when everyone returned to the common area to relax, Brian talked her into taking a seat at the piano. With very little coaxing, Katie launched into some of her favorite songs. She had a rich, full, strong voice that soared out over the room and rendered everyone silent. Even the children stopped playing to listen. The men lit their pipes and leaned forward, elbows on knees, listening intently. The women sat with their hands folded, rapt expressions on their faces.

When she finished, wild applause shook the room. It warmed Katie’s heart. She tried not to make too much of it. After all, she told herself, entertainment was limited on the ship, and her “audience” wasn’t paying, so they probably weren’t expecting too much. It would be different in a theater in New York City. People would not be so quick to applaud an untrained voice such as her own.

Still, it did thrill her to hear people clapping, stamping their feet, and whistling in approval of her singing.

Someone took up the pipes then and people began dancing. Katie, flushed with pride, felt like dancing, too. When Paddy came over to join her at the piano, she hoped he’d ask her.

Instead, he frowned down at her and said in a low voice, “So, what is it that Brian is doin’ with that Swedish girl? Did the two of you have a fallin’-out, then?”

Katie glanced over her shoulder to see Brian dancing by with Marta. “A fallin’-out? No. Why would we?”

Paddy sat down on the bench beside her. There was no room to spare, and she found herself sitting close enough to him to feel the warmth of his body. The sensation was not unpleasant. “Then why is he makin’ eyes at a strange girl?”

Katie laughed. “Marta’s not strange at all. She’s very nice. Have you not met her?”

“I haven’t had the pleasure.” Paddy glanced over at her. “You’re not mad, then?”

“No. Why should I be?”

Paddy shrugged. “No reason, I guess. If you’re doin’ fine, then, I guess I’ll find me someone to dance with.” He got up from the bench and stood looking down at her. “If you’re feelin’ so fine, why aren’t you dancin’?”

Katie laughed. “No one’s asked me.”

“Well, I’m askin’, then,” he said brusquely. “Might as well dance with me as with some other fool.”

It wasn’t the most gracious invitation she’d ever had. But Katie did feel like dancing, and she happened to know for a fact that Patrick Kelleher cut a fine swath on the dance floor. She’d seen him, more than once, in the church hall, spinning some comely lass around the room.

“Might as well,” she said with a wry smile. She slid off the bench and stood up, to find his arms waiting for her. And then the odd thing was, the minute she stepped into those arms, Katie Hanrahan felt like she’d come home. The sensation shocked her. She wasn’t prepared for it, had never felt anything like it before. She’d never had a steady suitor, hadn’t wanted one, and if she had been looking for one, never would have looked in Paddy’s direction. Brian’s, maybe, but never Paddy’s. Mostly because it was hard to get a good look at Paddy, so surrounded was he by other girls.

The feeling dismayed Katie. She didn’t want to feel this way at all, and especially not about a young man who didn’t have both feet solidly on the ground.

But there it was, whether she liked it or not, a warm, heady sensation that swept over her from her head to her toes as Paddy, smiling down at her, led her around the floor.

She let herself enjoy the delicious giddiness of it as long as the dance lasted. That much she gave herself. But the minute the pipes stopped playing, she took her emotions in hand, reining them in firmly. Saying a polite, “Thank you, Paddy, that was very nice,” she hurried off to find Eileen. Her cheeks felt warm, her hands were shaking slightly, and her knees felt as if they might buckle at any moment. But she kept her head high and repeated to herself under her breath as she walked, “Not Paddy, not Paddy, anyone but Paddy. He’s a heartbreaker, that one.”

That steadied her, and by the time she located Eileen in a noisy corner, her heart had ceased its fluttering and she was able to speak in a normal voice.

But more than once during the rest of that evening, she found her eyes, against her will, drawn to tall, handsome Patrick Kelleher, and felt the sense of wonder sweeping over her again.
Paddy?
Paddy made her feel as if she’d found something she hadn’t even known she was looking for.

No wonder she’d thought she felt something when he kissed her.

Though she danced with him again twice during the course of the evening, she kept her eyes averted from his, made little conversation, and pretended to be relieved when the music stopped.

And when he said, as he led her back to Eileen, “I think you’re pinin’ for Brian and you’re too proud to admit it,” she didn’t deny it. It seemed best to let him think that. Better than lettin’ him know it was
him
she was suddenly pinin’ for. She could hardly believe it herself. Had the sea air done something to her brain, then?

She’d be fine once they got to dry land. Paddy would go his way and she’d go hers and she’d forget all about that warm, safe feeling when she’d stepped into his arms. She’d be herself again.

The thought didn’t comfort her as much as she’d expected it to.

Friday, April 12, 1912

“If you eat all of that,” Katie commented at breakfast on Friday morning, addressing Paddy, “even this great unsinkable ship will be dragged down beneath the weight of it.” She was staring in disbelief at the dishes before him, containing an assortment of foods that included a steaming bowl of oatmeal, a hearty portion of Irish stew, strips of liver and bacon, and chunks of French bread. “The whole Hanrahan clan doesn’t eat that much food in a day.” Unperturbed by Katie’s comments, Paddy slathered a layer of marmalade on a chunk of bread and popped it into his mouth. When he had finished chewing and swallowed, he grinned at Katie. “I’ll not be sinkin’ the ship. But I’m mindful that soon as we’ve landed in New York, food will be a scarcity until I’m earnin’ a livin’ wage, so I’d best eat while I can.”

Katie laughed. “You’re stocking up, is that how you’re lookin’ at it? Like a squirrel storin’ nuts for the long winter ahead?”

“Aye. Bri’s right about one thing. Could be many a year before I sell any of me writin’. And since I’m not goin’ to be on a farm like Bri, I won’t be gettin’ free food.” He was serious now.

Katie had never told Paddy her true ambition in life. She was afraid he’d laugh at her. She had no experience as a paid performer, none at all. He’d think she was reachin’ for the moon.

Yet she found herself wanting to tell him. She wanted to share her dream with him. Brian knew, and he hadn’t laughed at her. And being free-spirited himself, Paddy should applaud her ambition. Why did she think he wouldn’t?

Paddy sent a dark glance in the direction of Brian, sitting further down the table, his head bent in response to a question Marta had asked him. “What is it that he’s up to with that Swedish girl?”

Katie kept a straight face. “He’s heard there are many Swedish people in Wisconsin, and so he’s asked Marta to teach him her native language.”

Paddy scowled at her. “That’s what he’s been tellin’ you?”

Laughing, Katie said, “Paddy, I was jokin’. Anyways, Brian isn’t you. He doesn’t flit from one female to another, makin’ up stories as he goes along.”

An expression that on anyone else Katie would have seen as hurt appeared on Paddy’s face. But since she hadn’t meant anything unkind and was simply speaking the truth, she didn’t see any reason why Paddy should be offended. “Marta’s very nice,” she added. “They’re both interested in farming. Maybe that’s what they talk about.”

She decided not to suggest again that Paddy become acquainted with the Swedish girl. That could be a mistake. Not that Paddy had ever stolen any of Brian’s girlfriends. He wouldn’t do such a thing. But Marta herself could be drawn to the handsome, charming rascal. Katie knew of at least one instance where that had been true, and Brian had been despondent afterward for weeks. Not Paddy’s fault, of course, and Brian hadn’t seemed to blame him. What had surprised her was Paddy blamed himself, walking around with his head hanging down in remorse, his eyes full of guilt. He’d bought Brian a book Bri had been wanting, had even done his household chores for him, as if by doing so he could make up for the girl’s fickle heart.

Yet he himself broke hearts all over County Cork.

Katie didn’t understand. Her ma said, “’Tis the code between brothers. Paddy feels he took somethin’ of his brother’s, though it was the girl herself who was foolish. And he takes it to heart, as he should. Betrayin’ blood leads to a bitterness of the soul that ’tis eternal. There’s no forgivin’ it.”

Katie wondered if Paddy resented the girl because his brother was spending so much time with her instead of keeping his brother company during the voyage. Not that Paddy lacked for companionship. Still, Katie decided it might be a good thing to stay by his side, seeing to it that he wasn’t interfering with Brian and Marta. It was the least she could do for Brian, who had been kind enough to help her get to Queenstown and the
Titanic.

Elizabeth, her ankle swollen, spent most of Friday in bed. Sometime that afternoon, Max, Lily, and Arthur came to extend an invitation. They wanted her to join them in the Parisian Café. Elizabeth let her mother decline on her behalf. She needed to think, and she couldn’t do that in the café surrounded by people.

But she kept reaching a point in her “thinking” where there seemed to be no answers, only questions. There was nothing left to do then but doze off. Her long nap made a tangled mess of her hair, which then required washing, finger-curling, and a thorough brushing before dinner. She felt she had wasted most of the day. She had thought to plan, and had planned nothing.

Max came back late in the day to invite her to dinner. He knocked at the door to her cabin rather than her parents’, and Elizabeth was forced to answer the door with her hair only half dried and curling wildly around her face.

His response was a delighted laugh. “So you decided to let your hair down, after all? About time. I like it.”

Elizabeth couldn’t help laughing, too. She knew perfectly well how she looked. “If my mother knew I’d answered the door like this, she’d need smelling salts. You’re here early. Anyway, I have to eat with my parents.” This was one thing she
had
thought about. She had anticipated Max’s invitation and had decided it would be wiser to attempt a peaceful, pleasant meal with her mother and father. Her mother would be delighted that Elizabeth seemed to be avoiding Max. She could always see Max later, after dinner.

He looked disappointed. “You’re eating with them? Why?”

She didn’t want to tell him the truth: that her mother didn’t want her associating with someone so “unsuitable.” He might not understand that his money and position weren’t worth much to Nola if he wasn’t going to follow the path his parents had laid out for him.

“Because I need to talk to them, and dinner is the best time. They’re always in a good mood then.”

Max looked skeptical. “I hope you’ve planned some really clever strategy. Because if you haven’t, there’ll be a scene, and your mother will blame you for it.”

Elizabeth bristled. “How do
you
know? You’re not exactly an expert on my parents.”

Leaning against the door frame, his hands in his pockets, he said, “Sure I am. Because they’re just like mine. And I’ve been where you are now. I know exactly what it’s like. If you bring up a serious subject like college at dinner, there
will
be a scene.”

Elizabeth knew he was right. Because that annoyed her, she snapped, “Thank you for the advice, but I think I can handle a meal with my parents. I’ve been doing it for years.”

He smiled. “Ah, yes, but the question is, have you done it
well
?” He then added, “Unlike me, I mean. Meals at the Whittaker homestead were often an exercise in indigestion.”

Elizabeth laughed. “I could meet you later,” she offered, feeling a delicious twinge of satisfaction at behaving so boldly. “On the boat deck. If you want.” She could use the sore ankle as an excuse to return to the cabin. Her parents would be out and about, entertaining themselves until late. They wouldn’t even know she wasn’t in her bed. But she’d have to make sure to return before they did. Her mother would check on her before retiring for the night.

“I want. Nine o’clock?”

Elizabeth nodded. “Unless,” she added hastily, suddenly afraid she had been too forward, “Arthur and Lily have other plans.”

Max laughed. “I sincerely hope they do.” He moved away from the door frame. “I guess you’ll have to put your hair up in a proper do again. Too bad. I really do like it like that. Lily wears hers like that and no one’s thrown her overboard.”