Read To Have and To Hold Online
Authors: Ruth Ann Nordin
crowd started to thin around her, the red item was, indeed, easy to see.
This was it. Her heart racing with a mixture of hope and dread, she stepped toward him. He
was a handsome man, and that being the case, he might be dismayed when he saw her. She’d
explained her appearance, but she didn’t tel him how people saw her in Maine. She didn’t want
that part of her past to slip into her future if she could help it. Her hope was that he’d look past
her appearance and see her for what she was offering to be: a woman who would help him
with his farm. If there was one thing her family did praise her for, it was her hard work.
She realized her steps slowed as she neared him, so she picked up the pace and continued
down the platform until she was within his hearing distance. She was ready to cal out to him
when his eyes stopped searching the crowd and settled on her.
“Are you Neil Craftsman?” she asked as she stopped in front of him.
“Wel …yes…” he hesitantly replied. “Are you Miss Peters from Maine?”
She nodded and noted his wince before he led her over to the corner of the station so he could
talk to her without anyone listening to them. If she’d been smart, she would have refused to go
with him. She was probably about to face the rejection her mother warned her about. Her
mother had her buy the return ticket to Maine, and that only made the situation worse. Her
mother hadn’t even believed someone would marry her. It was one thing for her brothers and
sisters to feel that way, but it seemed a mother shouldn’t think such a horrible thing for her
daughter.
Neil turned to face her and offered her a smile she guessed he reserved for people he’d rather
not talk to but had no choice. “Miss Peters,” he began in a stiff but pleasant tone, “you are not
what I expected.”
She paused for a moment and then made eye contact with him. “Your ad asked for a
hardworking and dependable woman who can provide you with children. I assure you that I’m
not afraid of work, and I wil prove myself loyal. As for children, my mother has borne my
father twelve of them, myself included. I am able to do what you ask. I have in no way misled
you.”
Why was she tel ing him this? In hopes that he’d change his mind and give her a chance? And
a chance to what? To find out there were redeeming qualities in her? That though she wasn’t
what men considered beautiful, she was worth marrying? Why would she want to confine
herself in a marriage to a man who took one look at her and didn’t want to be with her? Was
her opinion of herself that low?
Neil shifted from one foot to the other. “When I wrote that ad, I did not expect…I wanted…I
don’t doubt that you can work hard and provide me with many children. But…”
“But?” Her stomach twisted into an al -too-familiar knot. She wasn’t what he wanted. He
wanted the same thing al the other men did. He wanted someone beautiful, and beautiful was
something she couldn’t give him. “But you had a different kind of woman in mind?”
“I couldn’t get drunk enough to get you with child!”
Her face flushed from shame at his words. She hadn’t even considered being intimate with
him. To think his thoughts were going in that direction…and in broad daylight and in a public
place! No. It was much better she didn’t end up with him. If he was so crass in public, who
knew what else he was like? With a deep breath, she managed, “Then I surmise that this
arrangement won’t work.”
“You’re right it won’t.”
Despite the sting from his harsh tone, she determined it would be in her best interest to not let
him know it. “Very wel . I won’t trouble you any further, and you may have your money back.”
With shaky hands, she opened her purse and handed him the money he’d given her when he
asked her to come to Omaha to marry him. She couldn’t stand the thought of using any more
of his money. It left her feeling tainted. “I don’t wish to have anything from you. The trip here
is enough. Thank you, Mr. Craftsman.”
He glared at her for a moment before he snatched the money from her. Not trusting her
wobbly knees to keep her standing, she sat on the bench, wondering why her mother had to be
right. She set the travel bag at her feet and focused on fighting back her tears. Why couldn’t
she just come out here, get married and have children? She wasn’t asking for a man to love
her the way Calvin loved Grace. She just didn’t want to spend the rest of her life in Maine
where people either pitied or mocked her inability to find a husband.
With a sigh, she debated what to do next. She couldn’t go back to Maine. Not only did she not
want to bear the humiliation of going back, but she also didn’t want to tel her mother she’d
been right. The latter was much worse. No, she had no other recourse than to stay in Omaha
and hope she could find employment that would sustain her for the rest of her life. Maybe she
would just tel her family that she married Neil. That way she wouldn’t have to hear her mother
tel her, “I told you so.”
As much as she hated to lie, she didn’t see any other choice. For sure, she didn’t want her
mother to send one of her brothers to get her and drag her back to Maine. Then she’d never
get a chance to make a clean break. She was tired of being Plain Mary Peters. She wanted
to be just Mary Peters.
She caught a movement out of the corner of her eye, so she turned her head in the direction of
a good looking young man who was walking toward her. Not sure of what he wanted, she
asked, “Am I in your way?”
“No, ma’am. Considering the fact that you’re sitting on a bench that’s stuck in a corner, you
aren’t in anyone’s way.”
She stared at him, noting his kind eyes and friendly smile, and wondered why in the world he’d
even bother talking to her. Then the answer dawned on her. He needed the bench. Of
course, that would be why he talked to her. That was why every man talked to her. He
wanted something from her.
She hopped up from the bench to oblige him. “Oh. Then you wish to sit? I can find
somewhere else to go. I should get a newspaper anyway.” She left out why she wanted the
paper. He didn’t need to know, and she was sure he didn’t care why.
“I can buy one for you and bring it here.”
She stared at him for a moment, not believing her ears. “Why would you do that?”
“Why not? You’re a stranger in this community and it would only be fitting if someone
welcomed you to town. I notice that Neil Craftsman did a lousy job of it.”
Oh good heavens! He not only knew the man she’d come to marry but he also knew what Neil
said! She didn’t think anything could be worse than Neil proving her mother right, but she was
wrong. This was much worse. Unable to look at him, she turned her attention to the travel
bag. “Oh. You overheard?”
“I overheard Neil giving up a decent woman. You know, I couldn’t help but be impressed with
how wel you handled yourself.”
Stil unable to look at him, she shrugged. “I figured, in the long run, he did me a favor.”
“He did you a bigger favor than you realize. I guarantee you’re much better off without him.”
She knew he was right, but she sensed there might have been some unsavory characteristic
about Neil that was implied in his statement. Not that it mattered. Her future wasn’t with Neil,
and she’d most likely never see him again so whatever he was like didn’t concern her anymore.
What she needed was to find suitable employment. Deciding she might as wel put an end to
the conversation, she said, “I should get a paper.”
“May I buy it for you?”
She hesitated for a moment, figured he was being polite, and final y dug a coin out of her
purse. “This should cover the cost.”
“That’s not necessary. After what you went through, it would be my pleasure to show you that
one person in Omaha knows how to welcome a lady. I’l be back faster than you can say Dave
Larson.”
Before she could respond, he darted off for the newsstand that wasn’t too far away. She
slipped the coin back into her purse and glanced around the station. As much as she tried not
to think some people kept shooting pitiful glances her way, she couldn’t help it. It was
ridiculous, she knew, but she felt as if they were wondering how a poor woman like her could
ever find a husband.
She recal ed overhearing Katie, Leah, and Stan on Grace’s wedding day. Everyone at that train
station must have been thinking the same thing her relatives were on that day. Her only time at
the altar was when she was Grace’s maid of honor. They figured it would be the last time
she’d be up there, and as it seemed to be turning out, they were right. She wiped the tears
from her eyes before the man returned to her with a paper in hand. She’d take the paper, and
he’d be on his way. She’d have plenty of time to cry over the situation later.
When he handed her the paper, she cleared her throat so her voice wouldn’t betray her
emotions. “Thank you, sir. I should al ow you the space on the bench.”
“Please stay. I wish to speak to you and it’d be easier to do that if I’m sitting next to you
instead of yel ing at you from across the room.”
Despite her mood, her lips turned up into a slight smile at his joke. “I can’t argue with that
logic.”
Since he looked at her expectantly, she sat on the bench to see what else he might wish to
discuss. Perhaps he’d be wil ing to tel her if there was a good job in the area. If that was the
case, then the fact that he happened to overhear the conversation with Neil might’ve been a
good thing.
She took a deep breath, figuring once she answered whatever query he had, she’d ask him
about a job offering in town. “What is it you wish to discuss, Mr...?”
“My name is Dave Larson.”
Her cheeks warmed from embarrassment. “Oh. I’m afraid I missed that when you told me the
first time. I must be having one of those days.” A kind smile crossed his face and she relaxed.
Good. He wasn’t one of those people who got particular about things. Katie and Leah
would’ve given her a lot of grief over her blunder.
“I’m not graceful at this sort of thing, Miss...?”
“I’m sorry, Mr. Larson. My name is Mary Peters.”
“Miss Peters, the truth of the matter is that while I overheard you and Neil talking, it occurred to
me that you’re the kind of woman who would make a man a good wife. Now, I know it’s
strange that we just met this way and you’re likely to think I’m crazy, but you’re the kind of
woman I’ve been looking for. You’re kind, strong, and generous. You told Neil you were
hardworking and dependable. I’m sure you have other admirable qualities as wel .”
Her jaw almost dropped, but she managed to hide her surprise. The man couldn’t be serious!
“Surely, there are other women in town that are more to your liking.”
“You’d be wrong to assume that. The women I know who are of childbearing age are already
taken, too young, or a relative. I need a wife. It can be tough to keep up a farm without help.
In fact, I was trying to come up with an ad asking for one.”
She glanced at the paper resting in her lap. “I don’t know, Mr. Larson. I real y am not what
you are looking for.” Especial y since he was the best looking man she’d ever seen. Surely, he
could have his pick of women. There had to be someone he could marry besides her.
With a resigned sigh, he shrugged. “I’m forced to write an ad since you said no. Would you
help me figure out what to say? I want to make sure I have the right woman. There’s no sense
in sending for her if she can’t handle what I need on the farm.”
That sounded fair. And in return, he could help her find a job. “Alright. I can do that.”
He searched his pockets before he shot her a charming smile that sent an unexpected chil
racing through her. It wasn’t any surprise the mention of even being his wife—even if he
couldn’t possibly mean it—would make her acutely aware of her attraction for him. A woman
would have to be blind not to go weak at the knees if he chose to look at her as if she wasn’t
as plain as others thought. In fact, he looked at her as if he didn’t mind the way she looked.
“I didn’t bring anything to write with or to write on,” he said.
Shifting her mind back to the matter at hand, she gave him a pencil from her purse and helped
him come up with things he might want to post in an ad. Even so, she had a hard time
concentrating. She tried not to give into the temptation to say she’d be his wife, but she kept
seeing herself holding a child. It was something she’d wanted for years. She’d watched it
happen for her brothers and sisters, and it was something this man was offering her now. She
watched as he wrote the things he was going to put in the ad for his wife and drummed her
fingers on her purse. It didn’t seem right to deny another woman the opportunity to be with
someone so kind. But why should she deny herself the chance to be with him, especial y since
he’d offered?
As he told her about his farm, she bit her lower lip on the urge to throw caution to the wind and
marry him, even if it was such an impulsive thing to do. Perhaps he was used to doing things at
a moment’s notice, but she’d always been careful. Wel , maybe this one time, it would be good
to act on impulse. Besides, what were the chances another man would offer her a home and a
family?
“Where did you come from?” he final y asked, interrupting her thoughts as she weighed the pros