Read To Have and To Hold Online
Authors: Ruth Ann Nordin
Chapter Seven
After breakfast the next day, Mary got ready to go into town while Dave and Isaac went to the
barn to get the horses and wagon ready. She brought Rachel upstairs with her so she could
change her diaper. When she finished her task, Mary placed her in the crib and went to her
bedroom where she changed into a nicer shirt than the one she’d been wearing earlier.
Satisfied, she col ected her smal purse from the shelf on the wal , and as she turned to leave,
she caught sight of her reflection in the mirror.
Recal ing her strange dream two nights ago, she examined the mirror and wondered why
something so common should be connected to her past. The mirrors were different ones in her
dream, and this had been one of them, except this one didn’t have the negative feelings
associated with the others. Not that she could pinpoint the exact feelings swirling around in her
dream. Al she knew was that she didn’t like them. As for the feeling associated with this one,
she suspected it was akin to what she experienced each night when Dave held her in his arms.
Secure. Maybe protected. Perhaps a little of both.
With a shrug, she got ready to leave the room when Dave entered it. Since she didn’t expect
him, she jerked. Laughing, she placed her hand on her chest. “You startled me. I didn’t hear
you come up the stairs.”
His lips curled up into a smile and he glanced around the room. “Where’s Rachel?”
“In her crib. I should get her.”
“In a moment.”
He wrapped his arm around her waist and pul ed her close to him. She saw the kiss coming
before he brought his mouth to hers. Her arms went around his neck, and she returned his kiss,
delighting in the newfound intimacy she experienced with him. It was no wonder she married
him. He was a wonderful man.
Reluctant, she ended the kiss. “Where’s Isaac?”
“In the parlor with his trains.” Giving her waist a squeeze, he added, “We have some time to
ourselves,” before he kissed her again.
From the other room, Rachel yel ed for her, so Mary playful y shoved Dave away from her. “I
suspect once we had children, we didn’t have much of the day to ourselves.”
He sighed. “You’re right. That’s why we have nights.” He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively
and patted her on the behind.
She giggled. “You’re a wicked man, aren’t you?”
“Only with you.”
“I better get our daughter before she starts crying.”
He joined her as she went into Rachel’s room where Rachel had thrown her dol to the floor.
Mary picked it up while Dave lifted his daughter. Holding her with one arm, he took the dol
from Mary to give to Rachel before putting his free arm around Mary’s shoulders.
“I got my two beautiful girls,” he said as they left the room.
They went down the stairs, got Isaac, and went to the wagon waiting for them outside. On
their way to town, Mary pul ed the bonnet closer to her face to protect her eyes from the bright
sun. She didn’t bother paying attention to the land around them the last time they went to town
because they were going to see the doctor about her memory loss and al she could think about
was how scared she was.
Now, as she examined the green hil s in the distance, she smiled. Nebraska was a beautiful
place. She inhaled the sweet smel of clover and turned to her family. Rachel rested in her
arms, and Isaac patted their dog who tagged along for the outing. Her gaze traveled to her
husband who led the horses down the road that went to town. He glanced her way and winked
at her, and she blushed, thinking of how his hands and mouth had felt on her body the night
before. Why did it seem that she couldn’t think of anything but being alone with him whenever
she looked at him? Her skin tingled in anticipation of being alone with him again that night.
Forcing her mind off of the bedroom, she asked, “What are we doing first?”
“I thought you might like to stop by the post office and see if a letter’s come in from your
parents or Grace,” Dave replied as he turned onto another street.
Her eyebrows furrowed. “Grace?”
“One of your sisters. Your favorite one, actual y.”
“I should do that.” Maybe it would prompt her memory. He told her that she came from Maine
and grew up with eleven brothers and sisters. Then she came out to Nebraska as a mail-order
bride and hadn’t been back since. Whenever she tried to conjure up any recol ection of her
parents or siblings, her mind drew a blank. She could gather glimpses of the past when it
came to Dave and their children. She even recal ed bits and pieces of Dave’s family. But
absolutely nothing was forthcoming when it came to her life in Maine. She wondered why that
was the case. If she was nineteen when she married Dave, then that was nineteen years she
wasn’t getting back. Why was the distinction so great? Was there something back in Maine
her mind didn’t want to remember?
Dave pul ed the wagon up to a smal building and set the brake. “We’re here.”
Taking her mind off of her past in Maine, Mary waited for him to come over to her side of the
wagon and help her down. After that, she helped Rachel down as he helped Isaac. They went
into the post office where Dave asked the post master if they received anything. To her
surprise, there was a letter waiting for her.
“It’s from your sister, Grace,” Dave said. “You like her letters.”
“Do I?” she asked uncertainly.
“Do you want me to read it?”
She nodded and they left the post office so he could read it outside where no one would be
nearby to hear them. Holding Rachel in one arm, she took Isaac’s hand and waited as Dave
opened the letter.
He scanned the letter and frowned.
Eyebrows furrowed, she asked, “What’s wrong?”
“Your father’s il . Your sister says he doesn’t have much longer to live .” His eyes met hers.
“I’m sorry, Mary.”
“I don’t remember him,” she softly reminded him. She knew she should feel sad by this news,
but it was hard to when she couldn’t even get an image or feeling about him.
Dave paused and sighed. “Your sister says everyone else is fine and that she hopes you’re
doing wel . Do you want to write her back while you’re at Sal y’s? We can come back here
and drop your letter off.”
“I don’t know what to say.”
“You could mention your loss of memory.”
She shrugged. “Maybe. I’l think about it.” It’d be easier to write to someone she could
remember, even if she had to report a memory loss.
Dave folded the letter and tucked it into his pocket. “Alright. Do you want to see Sal y?”
“Yes, I’d like to see her again.” At least with Sal y, she’d been getting feel ings of friendship and
warmth.
“Jasper can play with Aunt Sal y’s dog,” Isaac said as they headed over to the wagon.
“That’s why we brought him,” Dave replied before he helped them into the wagon. He got into
the wagon with them and took Mary’s hand and squeezed it. “You’re a beautiful woman, Mrs.
Larson.”
She squeezed his hand in return and smiled.
He let go of her hand and released the brake. Leading the horses forward, he took them down
the street a couple of blocks until he pul ed up in front of a cheerful yel ow house.
“The color of Sal y’s house fits her, don’t you think?” Mary asked Dave as he set the brake.
“How so?” he asked, getting down from the wagon.
After she put Rachel down, she waited until he was over at her side to say, “Wel , she’s got a
cheerful way about her, and the color yel ow is cheerful.”
He glanced at the house before he lifted his arms to help her down from the wagon. “I hadn’t
thought of it before, but you’re right. She’s cheerful. Always has been that way.”
Turning around, she helped Rachel down while Dave held his arms out to Isaac who jumped
into them. She sighed and took Rachel’s hand in hers. “Must you jump so high, Isaac?”
“It’s fun, Ma,” he said as Dave put him down.
“Boys need to take risks. It helps them later in life,” Dave told her with a wink.
She frowned. “I don’t see how it’s going to help him if he hurts himself.”
“He won’t get hurt,” Dave replied and motioned for Jasper to join them. Jasper jumped down
from the wagon, his tail wagging, and Dave petted him. “Boys need the sense of adventure,
and he can’t get that unless he takes risks.”
She sighed and looked at her daughter. “I hope you have more sense than these two men.”
Rachel pointed to the house. “Cookie.”
Dave chuckled as they headed for the porch. “I see she remembers Aunt Sal y.”
“Sal y is known for her cookies?” Mary guessed.
“Wel , to be fair, Sal y’s known for giving children cookies, but,” he lowered his voice so the
children wouldn’t overhear, “she gets them from an old lady in her sewing circle who does
nothing else but makes cookies.” They reached the front door and he knocked on it. In a louder
voice, he told the children, “Don’t worry. She’l have cookies for you.”
The children smiled in excitement.
Mary glanced at their dog that sat and waited. “He doesn’t get one, does he?”
“He does if the kids slip him one,” Dave replied.
She should have known.
The front door opened and Sal y squealed. “Wel , look who’s here!” She bent down and added,
“I got some cookies for children who’ve been good. Have you been good?” Isaac and Rachel
indicated they’d been good, so Sal y encouraged them to go to the kitchen. As the children ran
down the hal way, she turned back to them. “David, why don’t you take Jasper to the backyard
while I introduce Mary to April? You like April , Mary. Maybe seeing her wil spark a memory.
Come on.”
“I think I’l pay Joel a visit and come back in an hour,” Dave said. “Unless that’s not enough
time.”
“An hour wil be fine. Then you can have your bride back,” Sal y teased before she nudged
Mary in the arm. “Sometimes he wants you al to himself.”
“That’s not fair, Sal y,” Dave said with a wry grin. “I only wanted her to myself for one month
after I married her, though I wouldn’t mind another month.” He kissed Mary on the cheek.
Unable to hide her pleasure at his words, Mary giggled.
While he took Jasper to the backyard, Sal y waved her forward. “Come on in.”
Mary obeyed and took off her bonnet.
Sal y left the door open but let the storm door shut behind her as she put her arm around
Mary’s and led her down the hal way. “You and Dave look happy.”
“Weren’t we happy before?” Mary wondered, surprised. She got the impression she and Dave
already loved each other.
“Of course, you were. He’s adored you ever since he first saw you. He says that you’re the
best thing that’s ever happened to him.”
Relieved, she relaxed.
“I just meant that it’s as if you two are fal ing in love al over again, like you did when you were
first married.”
“I suppose that’s because I’m learning about him again.”
Sal y sighed wistful y. “Isn’t that the most wonderful feeling in the world? I often think if I could
just meet Rick and fal in love with him one more time, it’d be so romantic. Not that he isn’t stil
wonderful, but there’s nothing like the first time you realize you love someone and know he
loves you back.”
“You’re probably right.” Mary reasoned that Sal y had to be since she was so certain about it.
They entered the kitchen, and Sal y motioned to the pretty brunette woman who was at the
cook stove with a coffee pot. “That’s April. Over there are her children, three-year-old Nora
and six-month-old Tess.”
Mary glanced at Nora who was playing dol s with Sal y’s daughter, Laura, before she looked at
Tess who was in the highchair, content to bang two spoons together. Rachel ran over to join
the older girls who were sitting on the floor.
“How are you doing, Mary?” April asked.
“Fine,” Mary replied, offering a smile to someone she knew she should know but didn’t.
“I heard you lost your memory,” April said as she left the cook stove and walked over to the
table where Sal y motioned for Mary to sit. As Mary obeyed, Sal y sat down and April fol owed
suit, sitting across from Mary. “I bet it was a scary experience when you woke up and couldn’t
remember anyone.”
“It was,” Mary admitted.
“Where’s Greg?” Isaac asked.
“He’s outside with the dogs,” Sal y told him. “Do you want to play with him?”
Isaac nodded, so Sal y said, “Take some cookies for you and Greg and go out there, but don’t
give any to the dogs this time, alright?”
Isaac hastened to obey, making Mary chuckle. “I don’t think he enjoys playing with girls.”
“Al boys are like that at his age,” Sal y said. “They think girls are gross.”
“Wel , just wait until he’s older,” April added. “He’l change his mind.”
“And too soon,” Sal y mused. “It’s real y not fair they have to grow up.”
“Come now, Sal y,” April began, tapping her friend on the arm, “you wouldn’t have wanted to
stay a child forever, would you?”
Sal y grimaced. “And have my brothers bothering me al the time? I don’t think so. I’m ever
grateful Rick got me out of my parents’ house. But don’t worry, Mary. Your husband never
gave me any problems. He was the only brother I could tolerate while I was growing up.”
“Joel turned out alright, though,” April protested.
“Yes, he did. You’re a good influence on him.” Sal y winked at Mary. “Men need wives. For
sure, they’d never find their hats or ties if it weren’t for us. How Rick can be looking right at his