To John (5 page)

"My husband used Spotify for the
last hour. He finished now."

"By the way, his name is
Henry."

"He told me the other day that he
got really fed up with that heavy ass pigeon."

"He was even muttering to himself
in bed 'too heavy, too heavy...'"

"Ana, sorry, this is not time to
listen to your private life."

"John, if you know who my husband
is, you might listen morecarefully what I am saying. This is my
favor."

"Or will it be easier for you
understand if I use the word 'dove' instead of 'pigeon'?"

John got really annoyed. Two
reason. 1. He might know her husband. 2. Just annoyed by the whole
day.

"Sorry. Back to work. I am going
out for a shopping. Breakfast bars from Poundland to send to South
Sudan. Ring you a bell?"

"I have a vegetarian guest
tonight. What on earth is anybody a vegetarian? I have no idea what
to cook. Pasta without anchovie means nothing to me. I don't feel
good but I will do my best to please my guest's tongue. My face
started stwiching."

John called Mark,

"Ana started ticking."

"What happened to the
international tango? "Do I like the smell of your confidence?"

"Better than the smelly dog's leg
if you heard by any chance. If you never heard of it, forget it.
You are too old to catch up. Live as you have lived."

He cut it short.

"John, eggs are boiled. All 4
eggs."

'I was fighting with something all
day. I don't know what it was. I cannot see. Well. Still I tore it
up into pieces. I put it into the black hole. It will not come
back. More of that sort will come though. Everyday. Do I care? Not
much. Tired. Happy. Buzzing. Got used to it. Got a bit of
confidence. The smell of my confidence? It's scent.'

12 Dec 2014

"Something wrong with Bloomberg...
Recovered yet?"

"Hurdling to avoid government
shutdown. Third time in a row."

"$59.99/B. Jesus... some self
desructive behavior can be expected as a result. Some will try to
make a real quick money to compensate the loss."

'Doctors at Guantanamo could their
job as they had no sympathy for other human being. CIA drove them
into group phychopath state. Abhorrent? What does it mean? Law
suits will follow for damaging their mental health. I heard some of
them committed suicide.'

"My husband is using Spotify
again. What's wrong with him? Why does he have to listen to Brahams
kind of shit? Something to do with the grouse... will let you know
later."

"By the way, Peter said he got the
budget roughly 236 a year."

"No one wants to take a risk for
the considerable time. Don't you think, John?"

"Keep the margin level 500 strict.
We are heading for a clearance sale."

"The Indian nonpolar king left me
a message saying 'Thank you very much for your instructions. The
boys are doing very well and they are very healthy as well. I will
look after them and make sure they go the best university after
this season. Now the whole heaven descended. I will not contact you
again. Best wishes. Murti.'"

Ana was glad to hear that message
and wondered whether he is the same family with the philosopher
Krishna Murti. His book 'the fire of self-awakening' was great help
when she was in Japan. She could distance herself from everything
time to time and put her whole self into something. It was very
economic way of using mind.

"Black Friday is American's. Not
mine. And Americans are torturing other people. They are choking
their own people to death."

"Endless shuffling. And see how
much we can go."

"Let us have a massive bowel
movement."

"Do not make me have a headache. I
am seriously constipated. I mean it."

"Enough of sniffling @..@"

"I got two little yellow pills.
Too powerful that I am afraid of taking them."

"I will take just one tonight so I
can have a nice sleep. I will take another one possibly on Sunday
night in case."

"But it's so powerful I am still
reluctant. Too explosive."

"What the hell... John, I took
two. It is supposed to work with 2-3 hours. I am dead. It might be
like Pineapple Express, the worst strom in California. Ready for a
screenshot for Good Friday?"

"Margin Level 580. Full stop.
Bottle up."

"Focus on your feet rather than
your hand. Focus on your hand rather than your heart. Focus on your
heart rather than your mind. Mind is the last one to focus.(Shin
Young Bok, from 'contemplation from a prison'."

"If you focus on your feet, we can
feel each other."

'This is what you call Quantum
Physics. We are based on this absolute grid-like dimension. All the
real magic came from this knowledge. You are constantly in and out
of this world, where there is no me. Just us. One. One soul. People
call it god or sky or something. Quite holly but at the same time
merciless. No space for mercy. As it is not a human mind. Call it
Home.'

"John, I will cook Korean Luxury
Fire Meat. Tune the channel."

"Close the door. I closed the
dock."

Ana thought of her brother, at
this time of day, at this kind of day.

She thought he was not cold
blooded. He was just resilient. It was in his blood.

'I must have been heavily drunk.
All these years. What am I doing here? I do not take any cash out
of this. I do not take any commission either. In order to make a
better decision. In order to keep my reputation. No cash. That is
funny. So why am I doing this? The reason? I feel them. I feel
them. I feel their thighs, I can see them. They deal a few millions
a day. They loose a few millions a day. What time is this? Half
past nine on friday. They are still there. I can see you. Chewing
gum, not much tired, trying to finish today in a nice way. You are
chewing something. You think 'oh well, it's about finishing time.
fuck it.' Then again, you are intrigued in the last minute. Last
five minutes. If you jump in right, you can make a hundreds at
least. Forty minutes left. You are wondering... Shall I go home to
shag or shall I stay and go home to shag?'

'I do not know where I am. Do
you?'

'I know I was in hell. But I bring
down the whole heaven down here. What do you think?'

'Good Job?'

'59.99 do you know what this
means?'

'if yes, you are ok. if no, you
have no chance.'

13 Dec 2014

"Saturday Morning briefing:

1. US energy bonds trading as
distressed securities. (FT)

2 . Compelled investors sold
shares and corporate bonds. (trying to find safer place to
invest)

:Turmoil of fund. Money started
flowing violently. Yee haw! Surfing USA!!!"

"WTI 57.81: 60.00 was a kind of
resistance line. Once it's broken, there is no buttom."

"Oil and 10yr go together."

"Do not use Bloomberg terminal.
Something wrong. At least for a week until it's fixed."

"Personally I
do not think that anybody can rest this weekend. It's like Gulf
stream. If you do not join the current in time, you loose your
whole tribe."

Ana sent a little email to
KCIC.

"
유가
급락으로
인한
미
10
년
국채
부도
예상
,
급전환
바람
(US 10 yr bonds will be dishonored by significant oil price
drop. Request of urgent reconversion)."

She sent another little email
to Yamamoto Sense in Tokyo.

"Hayaku Shinakereba Narimasen.
Mono Sugoku Abunai Jotaidesu. (You cannot help doing fast. It is a
highly dangerous state."

She knows this silence. The
silence before the typhoon. Utterly quiet and slightly steamy. So
quiet, you can hear the movement of nervous insects. She used to
pack her passport and cash in case.

14 Dec 2014

Ana woke up in a shit state. She
had a dream. She had to do two MAs. Full of shit stuff to do. Her
husband was so drunk, he did not recognize her. Her best friend was
seducing him, telling her to join them. She just turned around to
her desk and tried to figure out how many hours are left and
whether she could finish them within those limited hours.
Desperation, anger and sweat woke her up. It took a few minutes to
realize that all those things were dream. Still they were haunting
her.

'What do I have to do? What do I
have to do? No idea. If I know what I am doing, I cannot do it. I
cannot do it.'

That's her Sunday morning start.
She did not know how much money she moved the day before. She does
not want to know either. Quite a lot. Actually she did not move the
money. She sent a few texts and emails and calls to the ones who
has money. Sometimes she feels like a little pocket monster. Not a
Pikachu. Rather a Jigglypuff. As soon as she starts singing,
everybody starts falling asleep. While they are sleeping, their
money starts shifting around. When they wake up, they find their
pockets full of money. They are satisfied, so they do not
complaint.

"John, I will adjust my
brainwaves."

"Hangover again, Ana? Do not drink
too much."

"It's all Mario's fault. He
started talking about quantom physics again yesterday. His theory
drove me mad. I cannot stand him."

"Don't you worry. He is on the
right track. He is loaded."

Ana's stomach started gurgling.
She blamed the hostess of last night's party. She made mulled wine
with bottles labelled as 'Mulled Wine'. Basically cheap wine.

"Call me, gurgling Jiggling. I
will have a serious diarrhea, Chiao, Jose."

"Do not call me Jose. I am John.
See you later. By the way, moderate your stomach soundwave."

"Agitated 168–200 BPM. Let's say
180. Beatmatching.

At ease 60–72 BPM for the 2nd
movement in a flat mode. Down to 58.

Use
the following search engine:
http://uk.search.yahoo.com/

Copy & Paste 'beethoven piano
sonata no 14 3rd'.

Click the bright, digital image
for video(not human face involved).

Otherwise use
http://vimeo.com/111190716
.

Enjoy the night. Ha Ha."

Ana was not sure whether it's her
sighing or laughing. There was no time for self-loathing. The most
boring thing to think in the world. If you can forget yourself, you
are happy. Not small you, but big you are happy.

'Carl, how big I am?'

'You are as big as the
universe.'

He used to lift her up and swing
around until she said

'I feel sick. Lemme down. I'll
throw up.'

It was her brother, now in a
wheelchair, commanding. It was a traffic accident. He finished his
work at 2 o'clock in the morning and drove his home. He is still
alive. God knows how much he is handling.

"Ana, why won't you work properly
for me?"

"I am ok."

"Because you got a rich
husband?"

"Yes."

"Because you have no gut?"

"Yes."

"Because you are lazy?"

"Yes."

"Because I have no legs?"

"No."

He always succeeded to bring tears
in her eyes. He will bring tears in somebody else's eyes as well.
Time has come. The Typhoon.

"Ana, see the news."

"What? I did morning briefing,
didn't I?"

"No. The news."

"What? The Cheney shit?"

"No..."

"Shit!!! $40 per barrel...
Jesus..."

"What shall we do?"

"Fuck. Let's dance, shall we?"

"Sure, kiddo."

"Ho Ho... surely you get
exited."

From Bloomberg

'"Our expectation in OPEC is that
after 2020, the oil industry in the U.S. will decline” due to the
nation’s low reserves, he said. The U.S. won’t become
self-sufficient in oil and will continue to depend on Middle
Eastern supply, El-Badri said.'

El-Badri is a OPEC
Secretary-General.

Ana was trying to think.

'Normally the price of crude oil
is nothing compared to the refined oil. Refining industries are the
main point of earning actual money. US has earned money through
these industries. Now OPEC basically threanten US not to provide
them enough crude oil to refine. They are building their own
refining factories as US is not strong enough to make wars in
middle-east.'

'US have been making wars in
middle-east to prevent for OPEC to build their own infrastructure.
Buying crude oil at cheap price, selling them back at higher price
plus weapons. Now this chain is broken. Qatar stocks got in bear
market.'

Russia is one of the biggest oil
exporting countries.

Both Russian Rubles and China Ren
Min Bi are not in the Forex yet.

US is collapsing, visually. OPEC
is choking US neck until they make sure it's dead. Or decapitate US
as US did to the 2 year old girl in Syria.

"You will see the real news
tomorrow."

"John, shall we make a bet
tonight? What is Putin's favorite game? If it's not Tetris, he is
not a Russian. What is yours? What do you think is Russian's
favorite game? They have been quiet about this oil price. They are
exporting a lot..."

"Ana, that will be Ana Karerina.
What a coincidence. She did not play a game. That was her game. She
enjoyed full. She put everything into him. She lost. She finished
her life. Sorry, my point is that Russians are hot. They will put
everything into something. At the moment it is money. Money is
their new young lover. Who is on their way?"

US seems to be everybody's enemy
now. Cheney said he will do the same interrogation again. What on
earth could he say that in public? Cornered mouse. Revilement.
Filthy scum, indeed.

"Understood. By any chance, can it
be Candy? So suckable, don't you think?"