To Live (19 page)

We were all home when Chunsheng arrived. Before Chunsheng even got to the door the team leader announced him, calling out, “Fugui, Magistrate Liu has come to see you.”

The team leader and Chunsheng both came in.

“It’s Chunsheng, Chunsheng’s here,” I told Jiazhen.

Who could have known that as soon as Jiazhen heard it was Chunsheng, tears would trickle from her eyes? She rushed at Chunsheng, screaming, “Get out!”

I was completely caught off guard by Jiazhen’s reaction and didn’t
know what to do. The team leader got anxious.

“How can you talk like that to Magistrate Liu?” he demanded.

But Jiazhen couldn’t have cared less about all that. Screaming through her tears, she cried, “You give me back my Youqing!”

Chunsheng shook his head and said to Jiazhen, “This is a little token of my regard.”

Chunsheng tried to hand some money to Jiazhen, but she wouldn’t even look at it. Lunging at him again, she shouted, “Leave! Get out!”

The team leader rushed over to Jiazhen to keep her from Chunsheng.

“Jiazhen, you’ve got everything mixed up,” the team leader explained. “Youqing was
killed in an accident. It wasn’t Magistrate Liu’s fault.”

Seeing that Jiazhen wouldn’t take the money, Chunsheng handed it to me.

“Fugui, take it. I beg you,” he said.

Seeing Jiazhen like that, how could I take the money? When Chunsheng stuffed the money into the palm of my hand, Jiazhen’s anger instantly switched to me. She screamed, “Your son’s life is worth only two hundred
yuan
?”

I quickly stuffed the money back into Chunsheng’s hand. After Jiazhen threw him out, Chunsheng came back on two other occasions, but no matter what, Jiazhen wouldn’t let him in. Women are stubborn—once they get their minds set on something, no one can budge them. As I saw Chunsheng off to the edge of the village I told him, “Chunsheng, from now on it’s probably best if you don’t come back anymore.”

He nodded and left. It would be years before I would see Chunsheng again. I didn’t see him until the Cultural Revolution.

When the Cultural Revolution hit, the whole town turned upside down. The streets were crawling with people, and there were fights every day. People were even beaten to death. No one from the countryside dared go into town. Compared with what was happening in town, the countryside was much more peaceful. Everything was just like before, except that you didn’t feel as safe when you were asleep at night. That was because Chairman Mao’s supreme directives were always issued in the middle of the night. The team leader would stand in the middle of the drying field and blow his whistle with all his might. When we’d hear that whistle we’d all jump out of bed and rush down to the drying field to hear the announcements. The team leader would be standing there yelling, “Everybody to the drying field! The venerable Chairman Mao has some instructions for you!”

We were just your average everyday folk. It wasn’t that we didn’t care about national issues, it was simply that we didn’t understand that
kind of stuff. We would listen to the team leader in the same way that the team leader would listen to the higher-ups. All it took was one word from the higher-ups and we’d all think and do whatever they wanted.

Jiazhen and I were worried about Fengxia. She was getting older, and we felt we should really find her a husband. Fengxia looked just like Jiazhen did when she was younger. If it hadn’t been for that sickness when she was little, the matchmakers would have already broken down our door. As time went by I had less and less energy, and it seemed like Jiazhen would never fully recover from her illness. We’d been through a lot in this life, and just as a pear falls from a tree when it’s ripe, we were also getting to ripe old age. But we couldn’t stop worrying about Fengxia. She was different from other people. Who would be there to take care of her when she got old?

Fengxia may have been a deaf-mute, but she was still a woman, and she had to have
known that it was only natural for men and women to get married eventually. Every year there were village women marrying out and other new brides who married in. During the excitement of the drums and gongs, Fengxia would always stand there holding on to her hoe as if in a trance. The young people in the village would always point at her and laugh.

When the Wang family’s third son married, everyone in the village said that his bride was a real beauty. The day the bride was welcomed into the village, she was wearing a quilted red jacket and couldn’t stop her nervous giggling. Watching from the field I could see her—she was red all over. Her apple-red face was especially attractive.

Everyone working in the fields ran over to see. The groom took a pack of Flying Horse cigarettes out of his pocket and passed some out to the more senior men. A few of the younger guys nearby yelled out, “Hey, what about us?”

The groom gave a sinister laugh and stuffed the cigarettes back into his pocket. The young guys rushed over to steal them, yelling, “You’ve got a woman who’s gonna sleep with you tonight and you can’t even spare a damn cigarette!”

The groom tried with all his might to hold on to his pack of Flying Horses, but the guys pried his fingers open and snatched his cigarettes away. Once they got them, one of the young men held them up in the air while his buddies rushed up the ridge to get their share.

The young men who were left surrounded the bride, snickering obnoxiously and making lewd comments. The bride just lowered her head and smiled. There isn’t much that can spoil a woman’s wedding day; new brides are happy regardless of what goes on around them.

Fengxia was in the field, and as soon as she saw the scene she seemed to enter a trance. She didn’t even blink; she just stood there motionless, holding her hoe tightly in her hands. Standing off to one side watching her, I felt so sad. Deep down I thought that if she wanted to see the wedding I should let her. Fengxia had a tough life, and the only bit of happiness she had was watching another woman getting married. No one expected that after standing there watching for a while she would actually walk over. Standing next to the bride, she smiled awkwardly and then followed the bride off on her procession. All the young guys started to laugh hysterically. Fengxia was wearing an outfit covered with patches, while the bride was wearing an immaculate and brightly colored dress—she was pretty, too. Seeing them walk together, there was no comparison. It was sad to see Fengxia ridiculed like that. She wasn’t wearing any makeup, but her face was just as red as the bride’s. She
kept turning around, unable to keep her eyes off the new bride.

The young guys from the village continued to laugh and holler. “Fengxia wants a man!” they taunted.

That comment wasn’t so bad, but who could have guessed that before long they would start in with their nasty jokes?

“Fengxia’s got her eye on your bed!” someone said to the bride.

As soon as Fengxia started walking beside her, the bride stopped smiling. It was obvious that she looked down on Fengxia. It was then that somebody said to the groom, “You little bastard, you really got a good deal. You get to marry two for the price of one. Tonight you’ll have one on top and one on the bottom!”

After hearing that the groom laughed slyly. But the bride couldn’t take it. She didn’t care if new brides were supposed to be shy or not. She straightened her neck and yelled at her husband-to-be, “What the hell’s so funny?”

I couldn’t stand it anymore. Walking up the ridge I said to them, “How can you act like that? If you want to pick on somebody, pick on me, but don’t you bully Fengxia.”

I pulled Fengxia away and headed home. Fengxia was smart— as soon as she saw the look on my face she
knew what had happened. She lowered her head and followed me home. When we got to our door, teardrops were dripping from her eyes.

After that, Jiazhen and I decided that no matter what, we had to find a man for Fengxia. We were bound to die before she did, and after we were gone Fengxia would bury us. If things continued like this for Fengxia, there wouldn’t be anyone to bury her when she died. But who would be willing to marry Fengxia?

Jiazhen said we should ask the team leader for help. The team leader
knew a lot of people. He could ask around and, who knew, maybe someone would want Fengxia after all. I went to talk to the team leader, and after hearing me out he said, “You’re right, Fengxia should really get married. It’s just hard to find a good match.”

“We don’t mind if the guy’s missing an arm or has got a broken leg,” I said. “As long as he’s willing to marry Fengxia, we’ll approve.”

After saying that I started to feel bad. Fengxia was really no different from other people; she just couldn’t speak. When I got home I told Jiazhen. Upon hearing what I had said she also felt bad. Without a word, she sat down on the edge of the bed. After a long pause she sighed and said, “There’s really nothing else we can do at this point.”

But before long the team leader found a man for Fengxia. I was fertilizing our private plot when the team leader came by and said, “Fugui, I found a husband for Fengxia. He’s from town and works as a porter. He makes a lot of money.”

As soon as I heard that, it sounded too good to be true. I thought the team leader was playing with me. “Team leader, don’t joke around,” I said.

“I’m not joking,” the team leader replied. “His name’s Wan Erxi. He’s got a crooked head. His head rests against his shoulder—no matter what, it won’t stand up straight.”

It wasn’t until the team leader told me this that I believed the match was for real.

“Hurry up and arrange for him to come and check out Fengxia,” I hastened to say.

The moment the team leader left, I threw down the manure ladle and ran toward our hut, yelling, “Jiazhen! Jiazhen!”

Sitting in bed, Jiazhen thought I’d had an accident. Her eyes widened as she saw me come in.

“Fengxia’s got a man!” I said.

Only then did Jiazhen breathe easy and say, “You really scared me.”

“He’s not missing a leg, and his arms are okay, too,” I said. “Plus he lives in town.”

I began to cry. At first Jiazhen smiled, but seeing me cry, tears also streamed from her eyes. We were happy for a while, and then Jiazhen asked, “It sounds so good, are you sure he would want Fengxia?”

“He’s got a crooked head,” I said.

Only after hearing that did Jiazhen relax a bit. That night Jiazhen had me take out some of her old clothes so she could make a new outfit for Fengxia. Jiazhen said, “Fengxia will finally have a reason to get dressed up. Everyone’s going to come for the wedding.”

Wan Erxi showed up just a few days later. His head really was crooked; when he saw me he raised his left shoulder. When he saw Fengxia and Jiazhen he did the same thing. Fengxia started to giggle the moment she laid eyes on him.

Wan Erxi was wearing a neat and clean tunic suit. If it hadn’t been for his crooked head he would have looked just like one of those big city cadres. He came in accompanied by the team leader and carrying a bottle of wine and a calico cloth. Jiazhen was sitting on the bed. Her hair was neatly combed, and although her clothes were a bit tattered, they were very clean. I had also put a new pair of cloth shoes under the bed especially for Jiazhen. Wearing a red outfit, Fengxia sat next to her mother with her head lowered. Jiazhen giggled as she looked at her unofficial son-in-law. Deep down she was filled with happiness.

Wan Erxi put the wine and the cloth down on the table and then, raising his shoulder, he walked around our hut. He was checking out our home.

“Team leader, Erxi, have a seat,” I said.

Erxi grunted and sat down on a stool. The team leader waved his hand and said, “I can’t stay, but let me introduce you. Erxi, this is Fengxia, and these are her parents.”

Fengxia’s hands were resting on her legs. When she saw the team leader point to her, she smiled at him. When the team leader pointed to Jiazhen, Fengxia turned to her mother and continued smiling.

“Team leader, please have a seat,” insisted Jiazhen.

The team leader replied, “No, I’ve really got to go. But why don’t you all go ahead and chat.”

The team leader turned around to leave. I knew there was no way to convince the team leader to stay, so I saw him out. When I came back in I pointed to the wine on the table and said to Erxi, “You must have gone broke buying this. To tell you the truth, I haven’t had a drink in decades!”

Erxi didn’t say anything. He just grunted and lifted his shoulder, all the while looking the house up and down. The way he
kept looking over our hut made me begin to feel anxious. Jiazhen forced a smile as she explained, “Our family’s a bit poor.”

Erxi grunted again and raised his shoulder to look at Jiazhen. Jiazhen continued, “It’s a good thing we’ve been raising a lamb and a couple of chickens. Fugui and I have decided that when Fengxia gets married we’ll sell them for her dowry.”

After hearing this, all he did was grunt again. I had no idea what he was thinking. We sat for a while before Erxi got up and said he had to go. The moment he got up I figured the match was a failure. He hadn’t even taken a good look at Fengxia. All he had done was stare at our beat-up old hut. I looked at Jiazhen. Forcing a smile, she said to Erxi, “My legs are no good anymore, so I can’t see you off.”

Erxi nodded. As he walked outside, I asked him, “You’re not taking those gifts?”

Grunting, he raised his shoulder to look at the straw roof. After nodding once more, he left.

I went back inside and sat down on a stool. Thinking about what had happened made me a little mad.

“What right does he have to be so picky?” I said. “The guy can’t even hold his head straight.”

Jiazhen sighed as she said, “You can’t blame him.”

Fengxia wasn’t stupid. As soon as she saw us like that she
knew that he didn’t like her. She stood up and went into the other room. She changed into some old clothes, grabbed her hoe and headed out to the field.

That night the team leader came to ask me, “Did it work out?”