To Love a King (Court of Annwyn) (6 page)

“Come on. There is a fair walk back to the doorway.” He started moving, then stopped. “I would recommend that you go to a village or the outskirts of Annwyn if you wish to avoid the Queen and her supporters.”

“You don’t want us at Court?” one of the freed fairies asked.

“I don’t want retaliation. I have freed you, but if it were known, I suspect there would be trouble, and not just for me.”

A few fairies exchanged nervous glances, and that was the first time Felan considered that he might have also freed a spy, someone who would report back to his mother. But who? They’d all met his gaze and smiled gratefully. Was he overreacting and being overly suspicious? He’d like to think he was, but given his mother’s record and Sulia’s conniving, he suspected his concern was justified.

After noting each of their faces, he led them back to the doorway. When they arrived, Taryn was wiping her sword clean on the clothes of a Grey. The Grey looked like a cloth-wrapped bundle of sticks, his limbs gnarled and twisted, his face caught in a wizened grimace.

Felan reached for his sword and the freed fairies stepped back. “Just the one?”

“Yes.” She sheathed her sword and looked at the fairies who had followed him to the doorway. Was she also noting who they were in case of later trouble? “Let’s not wait around to see if more follow.”

He nodded and led them back through the doorway to Annwyn while Taryn followed behind. Seeing Annwyn after so long would be a shock, even though he’d told them it was winter. They stumbled through the doorway, and some gasped in horror at the ice and bare trees. He was used to it, but it still cut to see Annwyn in such a condition. He was sure it got worse every time he came back.

A few glanced at him with blame in their pale eyes.

It was his fault. He should have acted years ago. He should be doing something now. The time for stalling and delicate games was over. He needed to go back to Jacqui and ask outright if she would be his Queen.

A fairy wren fluttered onto the footpath in front of him and hopped around as if looking for crumbs. As Felan walked into the coffee shop, it followed, landing on the windowsill and watching. As before, Jacqui and the other girl were behind the counter taking orders, making coffee and serving cake, and then carrying the offerings to their respective tables.

It took a moment for Jacqui to notice him. When she did, her body stiffened and she glanced at the blond girl. Was she worried he would look at her coworker the way he had once looked at Jacqui? Or had they been discussing him?

He walked over and placed his order. The girl handed him a table number, her fingers deliberately contacting his, her smile a little too wide. The whole time Jacqui watched, and he had the distinct impression he was being set up. At Court, he might’ve had some fun and returned the blond’s smile, maybe even flirted a little to see where the game was leading and if he could turn it to his advantage. But not here and not in front of Jacqui. He didn’t want her viewing him with suspicion. In truth, he didn’t feel like flirting or laughing. He had nothing to laugh about.

The table he’d used last time was empty, so he sat there and watched the waves. So far it was only the rivers affected by the tearing veil. He was sure the oceans hadn’t been affected when his father had taken over. His stomach rolled like the waves on the shore, and he looked away. Even looking at that much water was uncomfortable.

“Latte?” The blond tilted her head and smiled. He was sure it would have worked on a human male, but he’d seen it all before and on a hundred different faces.

“Thank you.” He purposefully added sugar to his drink and stirred, aware she was still standing there. Waiting for him to acknowledge her. “Can I help you?”

“I just wanted to make sure everything was okay?”

“It is.” He held her gaze until she looked away. “Maybe you could get Jacqui to send over a piece of cake. Her pick.”

That wiped the smile of the blond’s face. “You know she’s not interested.”

“I never said I was. We have a past. I still consider her a friend. And friends don’t date another friend’s ex. It gets messy. I don’t like messy.” He had enough of that at Court. Here was supposed to be simple. It had always been simple with Jacqui. He wished he could take the watch off and start rewinding time. He’d do things so differently. “Actually, tell her to wait five minutes until she finishes, then she can join me. My treat.”

She took a moment to process what he’d said, and when she’d worked it out, all sweetness left her face. “Fine.”

He looked at Jacqui as the blond relayed the message. It was clear the blond was unimpressed—she hadn’t expected to be brushed aside so quickly. When Jacqui lifted her gaze and looked at him, it was as though she was steeling herself for battle; that was much better than running.

Five minutes later, Jacqui came over with one piece of cake. “Carrot cake okay?”

“Perfect. Thank you.” He smiled.

She didn’t return his smile, but she sat opposite him. “Why are you doing this?”

“Having cake?”

“Don’t be like that. Why are you here?” Her fingers flexed against the table but that was the only sign she was nervous. She didn’t trust him.

That was nothing new. Even his son hadn’t trusted him completely because he was fairy. But Jacqui knew him better than that. She knew who he was. Maybe the easiness they’d once shared was gone, but that didn’t mean they couldn’t build something new. The old attraction was there; it was just buried under layers of old hurt. He had to start peeling back the bad stuff. And that started with admitting he’d screwed up and apologizing properly.

He would never admit anything close to that at Court, even if he was at fault. He took a breath and held her gaze. “I wanted to apologize for leaving you. For not finding out the truth, and for blaming you. For letting my own fears get in the way.”

She tilted her head slightly, as if trying to gauge if he was telling the truth or if it was a clever lie. “You have fears? You are the Prince of Death.” Her voice was little more than a whisper.

He had a list of fears a mile long. However, they weren’t the sort that humans had. He didn’t fear death or spiders or heights. He feared for Annwyn, for the mortal world. He feared that he wasn’t good enough to be King, but then he feared that Sulia would make a worse Queen. He feared he’d end up like his father and that he’d lose Jacqui forever.

She watched him as if waiting for him to reveal some of those fears. He didn’t want to give them voice. The silence stretched a little longer. He was going to have to say something, so he took a sip of coffee and formulated his words. “I don’t want to be trapped in a loveless marriage, like my father, for the sake of Annwyn. I worry that I will end up marrying a woman who only wants power, not me. You have always hated what I do, what I will become. But never me…” He needed to believe that she didn’t hate him. That what he wanted was possible.

“I can’t imagine living without love forever.” She picked up the fork and helped herself to his cake. “I never thought I’d lose you, but you hurt me so bad I lost myself.”

He nodded, knowing exactly what she meant. He’d thrown himself into Court politics instead of facing up to yet another failed relationship. He sucked at these things far more than the average fairy. But then, his relationships had far more pressure than the average fairy. Yet he also knew he wouldn’t stop trying to find love right up until the last second of his deadline.

***

Jacqui chewed and thought. She was quite happy that he hadn’t shown the slightest bit of interest in Ash, but then she hadn’t expected him to. It had also gotten Ash off her back. Jacqui had learned something of fairy games from Felan when they’d been together. “I’m glad you know the truth. I wanted you to know for so long, if only so you wouldn’t blame me.” She’d also hoped he’d be able to get rid of the monsters she now knew were Greys, but that wasn’t to be. “And while it’s nice to see you again, why are you here?”

He hesitated, looking at his coffee before looking up at her. “It was always you I wanted on the throne next to me.”

She blinked, sure she’d misheard. “You wanted me to be Queen? Of Annwyn?” His plan had been for them to live there? “I thought you wanted to live here.”

Felan frowned. “I can’t do that. I thought you understood I would be King.”

“I did, but I thought you didn’t want that.”

“Some days I don’t, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to walk away.”

She leaned back in the wooden chair and stared at him. He hadn’t come back to find out the truth…or maybe he had, but it was only part of the reason. He’d come back because of Annwyn. Because he wanted her to be Queen of the fairies. “You only came back to me because of Annwyn.”

“It’s in trouble.”

She shook her head. “It’s always Annwyn. It always was and always will be. Can you hear yourself?”

“You never used to care when I talked about it.”

“That’s because I was young and gullible. You’re a workaholic and you don’t even realize it. You call it duty, loyalty, saving the frigging world. What do you want? Why did
you
, not the Prince, come back?”

She needed to know that he’d come back because he loved her, that he’d missed her, something other than the expectation that she’d help him with Annwyn. She could fill in the gaps now, and she knew what he wasn’t saying—which was good, because she didn’t actually want him to ask in case she accidentally agreed. There was no way she was ever leaving the mortal world to live in Annwyn.

“I thought I’d been in love before you, but it was only after we were over that I realized what we’d had and what I wanted.”

Jacqui raised one eyebrow. “But it took you years to realize it.”

Felan leaned forward, his coffee forgotten. “Time moves differently.”

“So you say.” He had the same excuses even after all this time. It was infuriating yet strangely reassuring. He hadn’t lied to her all those times. It had always been the truth.

“You want to go and find out for yourself?”

“No. Because I might never return. I don’t want to live in Annwyn. I had always hoped we’d have a normal life here.” She really had been young and dumb. And desperately in love. Even now, just sitting with him made her heart flutter. When he smiled, it was just for her. It was easy to remember why she’d fallen for him.

“If I wasn’t Prince, I would.”

“You have always got a reason.”

“Jacqui, how long do you think we would have lasted if I lived here? I wouldn’t age and die, yet I would be forced to watch you age and die. I don’t want that—you wouldn’t want that. You would come to hate me.”

She glanced away and busied herself with another bite of cake. How could she have overlooked his immortality? It had been one of the things they’d never really discussed, along with where they would actually live. “You can’t become human?”

He shook his head. “If I walk away from Annwyn now, I will be banished or exiled. Probably banished, which means I will become a Grey.”

A Grey—like the monsters she’d seen. Withered and ugly. She didn’t want to see him like that. She was used to his beauty, his light, and Greys had none of that. “I didn’t realize. And if you’re exiled?”

“That is a social death. I would be unable to return to Annwyn, but I wouldn’t be cut off from its power. The woman who wants to steal my throne won’t let me walk away easily. She would probably prefer my death.” He picked up his coffee and finished it.

He didn’t seem bothered that it would be lukewarm at best, more likely cold. She tried not to think about him being cold and dead. She’d never wished him dead, even when at her lowest. “Can she really steal the throne?”

“If she wins enough support. You had planned on asking me to give up the throne.” There was a glimmer in his eye, as if he’d just caught her out.

She glanced away. “I’d hoped that you would without me asking, that you’d love living here and love me so much that you’d do whatever it took to make me happy.”

“I always wanted to make you happy.” He took a breath and then placed his hand over hers. “Would you be my Queen if I asked?”

His fingers were cool against her skin, but a shiver of heat traced through her body at his familiar touch. She’d never be able to forget him, but she didn’t think she could ever be with him again. Maybe once, she would have agreed to be Queen, if things had gone well and she’d realized that he was never going to be able to live here. “No. I have spent the last seven years rebuilding my life. Not even you can undo the damage or time that has passed.”

“We could start over.” There was that smile, the one that could derail all of her good intentions, the one that warmed her blood like she was standing in the sun and basking in its heat.

She knew if she lingered too long she’d get burned. “To what end? We both know it will end badly again.”

“It doesn’t have to.”

She pulled her hand back and crossed her arms. “If I do what you want. If I go to Annwyn and give up everything I want. Is that about right?”

He clenched his jaw and looked away. She doubted he was watching the sunlight on the waves.

“You would be asking me to give up my whole life.” The very thing she’d once thought he’d do for her. It seemed neither of them was able to make a compromise. “You could have any woman you wanted. I’m sure many would like to be Queen of Annwyn.”

He looked back at her. “But I don’t love them.”

Her heart did an erratic dance, and spun. Her lips curved and the words to reply automatically formed on her tongue. When she met his gaze, the words froze. In his pale green eyes, she saw so many shadows. Love shouldn’t be followed by so much darkness. It should make you happy, not afraid. When she’d been around him, she’d always felt safe and loved and happy. Even now, she was tempted to give him another chance—right up until she remembered he was fairy and wanted her to go to Annwyn. Even now, he wasn’t telling her everything.

“I can’t trust you.”

“I won’t take you back to Annwyn without your permission. No tricks or glamours. Can you at least think about giving us another try?”

“It’s not us that concerns me. It’s everything else.” She couldn’t imagine being surrounded by fairies all the time. If being in Annwyn didn’t make Felan happy, how was she supposed to like it? She was human, not fairy. And compared to them she would be dull and boring. A waitress couldn’t be Queen.

“I have twelve days, Jacqui. I’m running out of time.” For a moment, he looked tired and worn out, as if his long life was catching up with him.

“Why twelve days?”

“The magic is failing and damaging both worlds.”

“Right.” So he’d come to her to save the world—
worlds
. She could barely keep her life together. How did he expect her save the world and rule Annwyn?

“Read the paper, watch the news. Tell me what you think.” He stood. “I’ll come back tomorrow.”

“I’m not working tomorrow.” She glanced up at him. Should she have told him that?

“Then I’ll come to your house. Seven okay? Maybe we could go out somewhere.”

“Like a date?” He was asking her out on a date? When had they agreed to that? She hadn’t even agreed to see him tomorrow, and yet she didn’t want to say no. She wanted to see what he’d do, and she wanted to know more about Annwyn and what was happening. Would he tell her about his life in Annwyn, the parts he’d never shared?

“Only if you want it to be.” He walked around the table and placed a kiss on her cheek.

She turned and her lips brushed his. He smelled the way he always had, like summer and fresh grass, as if she could close her eyes and all her troubles would vanish on a sultry breeze. His lips were warm and tasted like coffee.

Half a second later, she realized what she’d done and pulled back. He gazed down at her, and for a moment she thought he was going to lean in and kiss her properly. She wanted him to. The old lust reawakened, filling her belly with heat, and she was so tempted to fall back into his arms and pretend everything would work out fine.

He brushed a stray curl from her face, his fingers lingering for a moment. “Enjoy the cake.”