To Love a Soldier (10 page)

This went on for a while, until one night we were briefed on our next mission. We were backing up a large force that was going to attack an insurgent stronghold. It was so populated that the Air Force wasn’t going to risk any collateral damage for fear the numbers would be too high. That left us to clean up the area, and it was going to be one hell of a fight.

Our small unit was going to be flanking the town from the east, while the main force drove straight in. John spent the night rallying us and trying to calm our fears. We were moving at sun up and we had to try to get rack time, but John stayed late and we talked. He had a bad feeling about the mission. This was the first time in a long time that he opened up to me and took off his brave face. I assured him we were going to make it. I joked around; I was serious; I said anything I could to try to lie to him and myself about what we faced. He pretended it worked and eventually left so we could get rest before leaving.

The sun came up
, and the whole unit was already geared up and in our transports. We had two hours to get to the town, but it was only about an hour away. The ride was quiet. Too quiet. We arrived east of the town and began to dismount. Sargent Thompson gave us his last speech and led us though the hilly area, giving camouflage to our unit. We held in place about a half click away, until we got the radio call to move on the town. So we moved.

The edge of
town was quiet and held no surprises. By the time we got to the first building, we heard the gunfire erupt. It echoed throughout the streets and buildings. The main force was engaged. We separated the unit, so we had a fallback position covered by our machine gunners. John took half the men and Sargent Thompson took the other half. The Sargent and his men disappeared between some buildings.

I went with John
, and he led us into the back of another set of buildings. We separated again and swept the building. Clearing room after room, only civilians were found. The next building was different, though. We lost two men clearing the bottom floor. John ordered four Marines to carry the dead back. Although he wasn’t their commanding officer, they listened to his every command.

John took the rooftop by himself. I followed him because there was no way he was doing it alone. We heard gunshots from above and suspected a sniper. I got right behind John at the
doorway to the roof and smacked his shoulder. He nodded his head and kicked the door open. We were right. There was a sniper taking shots at the advancing Marine force. John fired his weapon almost immediately after breaching the door and the sniper fell. Another insurgent took off running, but I was able to line up my sights on him and take him down. I checked to make sure it was clear before going back to John. When I went back over, I saw him on his knees, bent over a young boy’s body. I approached and he looked up at me. He was crying. I’d never seen this giant man cry, or even come close. The boy had been shot and was lying lifeless, now in John’s arms.

“I think I shot him!” John cried out.

“It’s not your fault,” I tried to console him. “You know what they do.”

“I didn’t even see him. I only saw the sniper. He was using the boy as a shield,” John said as he cried some more.

“John, it sucks. I know, but no matter what, the boy was going to get killed. That’s on them, man. Either someone else would’ve found them, or even that piece of shit there would’ve killed him when he was done.” I pointed to the dead sniper.

“We’re not done yet,” John let out. “We have to move.”

He pulled a cover out of his gear and laid it over the boy. He gave one last look and then turned and headed back down. It all happened so fast that I didn’t know what to think. He may not have even shot the boy, but we certainly didn’t have time to look into it.

We ran down several flights of stairs and met with the rest of our team. John led us out of the building into the street. Immediately, there was gunfire. Ricochets sounded, and pieces of building blasted apart, falling down around us. John ordered us to cover. Some were lucky enough to find a wall to get behind and return fire
, while others made the best of old cars and trash on the streets.

The main force had pushed the insurgents back until they retreated. The problem was that they ran into us on their way out; we hadn’t planned for this. Good soldiers
would’ve stayed and fought until their numbers were down, so low they knew they wouldn’t have a chance to survive, and that’s when they would retreat and fall into our force that would flank them and either finish the fight or capture them. In hindsight, we should have known better. They were cowards and ran from every fight. In between pops, we would hear children crying and women screaming from the surrounding houses and buildings.

“John, where is
Sarge?” a Marine yelled out.

“I don’t know,” John yelled back. “But we can’t wait for him to back us up. We need to protect the
civeys.”

That was our priority in almost every task - protect the civilians. While I wasn’t against the idea, sometimes it pissed me off, because we’d always put ourselves in harm’s way to protect them. John would argue with me that we were Marines; we were the fighters. That’s why we did it.

John began throwing hand signals to move the men into different positions. I was stacked up about 10 feet from him behind a half wall. We provided cover fire for each Marine who scrambled into position. Fiery blasts from the insurgents’ gun muzzles filled the windows in front of us and to the side. Occasionally, one or two would run out of a building, but we were quick to eliminate the threat.

It was only a matter of seconds before the fight picked up. Grenades were being tossed at us along with a few rockets. An RPG took out three Marines and the solid wall they were using for cover. John abandoned his cover to pull them away from the rubble. Two were wounded and one dead. I wanted to help him pull them away, but I froze. I couldn’t make myself run into
open fire. Instead, I emptied my clip into the building’s windows to give John covering fire.

He managed to pull the two wounded out and into the building behind us. The third we would have to come back for. Now, John was pinned down, trying to get back in the fight. I
reloaded and laid down more suppressing fire, enabling him to jump between cover and get back. The buildings became quiet and the shooting stopped. We scrambled to take up better positions. We could hear the yelling in English from a short distance, so we knew our main unit was closing in fast.

“Joe, if something happens, I need you to promise me you’ll look after my family, especially my little sister,” John said.

“Oh, the one who barely knows I exist?” I laughed nervously. “Anything, brother. I’ll watch over them like they were my own family.”

He nodded his head and stood up. I followed and grabbed Private
Henmar, who had been pinned down with us, and pushed him to follow John’s lead. Before we could get cover, the silence broke with the hectic yelling, followed by the distinctive sounds of AK-47’s opening up. Our men fired back, while John got behind us and pushed us to safety. Private Henmar was hit in the back and fell to the ground. John and I slid behind an old truck for cover. Private Henmar screamed for help, but nobody could get back to him. He was in the open and the insurgents were filling the streets.

We had bad
intel on their numbers, because there were many more than we planned for. John was going to go back for Private Henmar when I pushed him aside. I wasn’t going to let him take any more risks for his men; they were my men, too. I ran out of cover and towards Henmar. Before reaching him, a rocket screamed over my head and had hit the building to my side. The blast threw me to the ground, and my ears were ringing. I yelled out for Henmar, but heard nothing back. It took a few seconds to get myself up onto my knees. As I reached for my weapon, I looked up and saw two insurgents running directly at me. Both were pointing their AK-47’s in my direction and squeezing rounds off.

The street around me was getting chewed up from their bullets. Those motherfuckers couldn’t hit the side of a barn from 20 feet away, which is why I guess they were running closer. One of the insurgents’ weapons jammed, slowing him down, but the other was still coming. I couldn’t find my rifle in the rubble around me, so I reached for my sidearm. I grabbed my holster to pop the button, but my fingers weren’t working. I couldn’t feel them; I couldn’t use them. Fuck! This is it, I thought.

I stared at my killer as he got closer. I was almost embarrassed that I was going to die at the hands of one of those motherfuckers, but my fear was enough to squash the thought. When he was close enough that I could hear his feet hitting the ground, I took a deep breath and waited for the bullet. He raised his weapon higher, and I heard a series of loud pops. I guess what they say is true about time slowing down, because it felt like forever waiting to feel the bullets hit me. The insurgent fell forward under his own weight, and his gun went spiraling through the air.

“Joe! Joe! Are you okay?” John yelled. I felt a hand smash down on my shoulder. John knelt down in front of me. I looked up at his face. It was covered in ash and blood. “Joe! Are you all right, man?”

He saved my life. I owed him everything. He fought his way forward and took out the insurgents who were about to kill me. That selfless son of a bitch!

“John, what the fuck are you doing? You could’ve been killed.”

“What, like you almost were?” he answered. “Come on, the fight’s not over yet.”

He picked me off the ground and tossed me over his shoulder like I was a small child. He ran back and placed me behind another wall and threw a medical kit at me. “Wrap it up,” he said, pointing to my hand. “I’ll get a medic here. Stay put.”

He ran off. I heard him yelling for a medic between gunshots. Only a few seconds later, he was running back in with another wounded on his shoulder. He placed him next to me and asked me to tend to him. This Marine, a new one whom we got rolled into the unit, was shot in the abdomen. Body armor didn’t help at all. I took the kit John gave me and started cleaning him up and tried to stop the bleeding. The sounds of the battle raged on for at least another five minutes. Finally, I could hear our main force pushing through. A few other Marines trickled to where I was, and I asked about John. One of them told me that he just went off to help Sargent Thompson’s team.

By the end of the battle, we had seven wounded and three dead. I didn’t know the casualties our main force sustained. John and three Marines left after the battle to find and help Sargent Thompson. When they returned, we learned that the
Sarge had lost two men and had two injured. John and the other two with him made it back safe. Casualties on the enemies’ side were 57 dead and 13 wounded. We’d had intel that there were only 15 to 20 insurgents in the stronghold.

The wounded,
myself included, were taken out by helicopter. My hand and wrist were pretty banged up and I would need a number of surgeries, but they said, in time, I’d have full use again.

That was the last I saw of John, until the close of the war.
We kept in constant touch in letters and phone calls, though. I was discharged and returned home after recovering. I wasn’t sure what to do with myself, but I took John’s advice and went into the police academy. I ended up getting a job as a town cop for the same town where I grew up. It was a little weird, but I truly enjoyed it. I kept in touch with John and also Sargent Thompson over the years. I always had them in the back of my mind, because they both stayed together and continued to serve in different places, never seeing an end to the combat.

John saved my life in more than one way. Physically, yes, I’d be dead now if John Kane wasn’t such a selfless and brave man, but he saved me in other ways. I lost my way for a while when I returned stateside
and it was John, with the help of his mother, who had helped me through and steered me into turning my life around. I owed John everything. I knew John was holding the war inside him. What he’d seen, what he’d done, whom he couldn’t save. We all had the same thoughts in our heads, but John was there to help carry them for us. I would do anything for him, and his family.

One Last Night

Mandy

After a long night and a tearful goodbye from his mom, John and I finally arrived back at my place. He had been quiet on the ride back and I could tell he was depressed. I knew it broke his heart to hurt his mother, to see her fall apart each time he had to leave; it broke my heart just to watch it unfold.

We went inside and cleaned up before bed. It was late, but I didn’t want my time with him to end. He climbed into my bed with his laptop and checked his email. Taking a seat next to him¸ I felt my heart breaking.

“I’m going to miss you,” I said honestly. He had become a permanent fixture pretty much since he arrived in town and I wouldn’t want it any other way. Unfortunately, I didn’t get a say. “You okay? It has to be hard to say goodbye to your Mom.”

Leaning over, he kissed the top of my head. “It doesn’t get any easier, but either does life. We have a choice to make, you have a choice whether you sink or swim. I know that I put my life on the line doing what I do, but I love it and I’m
good at it. I don’t really want to talk about it and ruin our last night.”

Knowing the time for talking was done, I went back to the bathroom to slip on some sexy lingerie for him, choosing what he picked out at the mall on our first date. I slowly opened the door and put my arm up against the frame.

“You’re going to shoot me with that big cannon before you go to sleep, soldier,” I said, trying to be sexy and funny at the same time. I waltzed to the bedside and began to tease him. His laptop slid out of his hands and onto the floor. He didn’t acknowledge it as it crashed to the floor; he couldn’t take his eyes off me. I looked down to see his boxers turn into a pitched tent.

“That for me?” I winked and smiled as I pointed to his erection.

“Yup.” He smiled back. “And only for you.”

He grabbed my wrist and pulled me on top of him. He thrust his tongue between my lips and I eagerly opened them. I met his tongue with mine and then gently bit his bottom lip, occasionally sucking it between mine. He slowly slipped my lingerie off to find me panty-less. He began to rub my
clit with a strong finger. Reaching down, I tugged off his boxer shorts and stroked him. I lifted a leg and straddled him, lowering myself onto his thick shaft. His head fell back and a moan slipped past his lips.

I leaned forward
, and he took a breast in his mouth. Sliding all the way down, I began to grind. He kept my breast in his mouth and began to twirl his tongue around my nipple. I was already going to come. Digging my nails into his forearms, “fuck me harder.” I pleaded.

Grabbing a hold of my hips, he thrust deep and hard. My orgasm grew in intensity
, and I let out a scream of pleasure when it finally came. He rolled me off him and climbed between my spread legs, never leaving my wetness. Pulling my legs up, I held them high in the air, letting him use my body for his pleasure. I watched as he slid in and out of my heat, my orgasm glistening on his perfect shaft. He continued to pound feverishly, giving me multiple orgasms in the process until I felt him thicken and pulsate inside me with a low growl. A few more thrusts and he gently pulled out and rolled off to my side.

After we
caught our breath, we both realized how tired we were. He kissed my hair and pulled me close. We drifted off skin to skin for what would be the last time for a long time.

The next morning, I woke to the sound of my alarm clock. I quickly hit the snooze button to shut it the hell up, before fumbling to shut it off. Rolling back over, I was shocked to see that John was actually still sleeping. I got out of bed and quietly hopped into the shower. I wanted to get ready and make him breakfast before we had to leave for the airport. My stomach was completely in knots and my nerves were already shot.

I started to feel sick as I was washing my hair and threw up at my feet.
Oh no, this can’t be happening. I can’t get sick on the day he goes back!
I took a few deep breaths and finished washing the shampoo out of my hair. I started to feel better and quickly finished cleaning off.

Peeking out into the bedroom while I was drying off, I made sure not to wake John. I tossed on some comfy clothes and headed downstairs to start breakfast. I got a pot of coffee started and began whipping up some pancakes and bacon. The smell of bacon overpowered the house and I soon heard footsteps coming down the stairs. I rushed to finish getting everything set up.

“Good morning, EC,” John said, rubbing his eyes.

“Dammit, John. Don’t call me that,” I demanded, trying to suppress a smile. I hated to admit it, but his little nickname was sort of growing on me. I would miss it when he wasn’t here.

“Sorry, sexy,” he laughed. “You’re making breakfast?”

“All for you, handsome.” I patted butter on the pancakes and handed them to him. “Let me get you the syrup.”

“You’re the best!” he said, already stuffing bacon in his mouth. Using his free hand, he reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone and started scanning. A song started playing. “It’s called ‘Find Me’ by Boyce Avenue. I hope you know wherever I am, I’m always with you. Always, EC.”

Tears started to form in my eyes as I listened to the lyrics. I could tell exactly what he was trying to convey. The song said everything he couldn’t. Not wanting to fall apart just yet, I was saved when I heard a knock at the front door. I had known Liz would show up early and I was happy to share our man. I yelled in the direction of the door, “Come in!” Getting the syrup, I sat down with John at the table.

“I’m really going to miss you,” I said, frowning.

“I have two months and I’ll be done with my tour.” He smiled. “I decided to end it there.”

“Are you serious?!” Liz asked as she entered the room.

“Hundred percent, sis.” He stood up and hugged her. “I love what I do more than anything… anything, except you guys.”

I jumped out of my seat and hugged them both. “Group hug!” I yelled as Liz and I jumped up and down, hugging John.

“Why didn’t you tell Mom?” Liz asked.

“Because I’ve been struggling with the idea for the last week,” he answered, turning towards me. “And when I woke up this morning in Mandy’s bed, I realized this is unquestionably where I want to be. I’m tired. Tired of all the death. Tired of witnessing horrible things and having to repress them and push on.”

“I’m sorry,” Liz said, hugging him again.

“I’ve done my part. I served my country and I did what I had to do. I’ve saved lives, and I’ve taken lives from those who wanted to take mine. I’ve come to terms with all of that, but I’m ready to start a new chapter. Right here.”

“We’re proud of you, John,” I told him. “Your father would be proud of the man you are, too.”

Liz let a tear roll down her cheek, as she shook her head, affirming my statement.

“I’m putting in my request for discharge with my CO when I get back,” John explained.

I was a taken aback by his decision. Military life was in his blood and, from our countless conversations about all things military, I was certain it was his calling and it made him happy. Maybe it was a little selfish, but it was still great news to me. I wanted to start a life with John. I wanted it to include him being around for more than a few weeks out of the year. I wasn’t one to rush things, but I had already decided that I wanted him to live with me when he came home. I was going to extend the offer, but I knew Liz and Lisa would be friendly competition since John was such a family man… not to mention a mama’s boy.

“Since you don’t have a room anymore at her place,” I nodded my head towards Liz, “I think you should come live with me when you get back.”

“You’re such a home wrecker!” Liz shouted teasingly. “We can clear out his old room for him.”

“
No thanks, Liz,” John teased back. “You two are cock blockers and I don’t need that.”

“
Ewww! That’s so gross,” she yelled, smacking John in the arm.

He stepped forward and grabbed my hand and held it in his. “EC, I would really like that. I don’t have much
, so I wouldn’t be getting in the way of your decorating style. All I would ask is that you let me buy you a bigger TV and then let me put my Xbox with it.” He smiled and shot me a set of puppy dog eyes.

“You don’t need to buy me anything, handsome.” I got on my tippy toes and planted a kiss on his lips. “And of course you can bring or get whatever you want.
Mi casa es su casa.”

“You two are sickening,” Liz chimed in. “By the way, what the hell is EC?”

“It’s eye candy, darling,” I smugly stated. “Remember? You gave me that name.”

“Sickening.” She laughed. “Come on, Prince Charming, it isn’t
move in day. You’re going to miss your flight if we don’t get a move on.”

“I only took one bite of my pancakes.” John pouted. “I’m not leaving until I finish them.” He sat back down at the table and started scarfing them down. I ran upstairs to finish packing his duffel bag for him and quickly wrote him a note to surprise him when he unpacked back at his base.

John,

I have to start by saying that I’m going to miss you more than you could even imagine. I feel so blessed that our paths crossed
and I’m so thankful that I had to courage to, well, hit on you the minute I saw you in that hospital room. (I only wish the circumstances could have been better.) You are such a wonderful person and a great man. Whether it is with me or someone else, I think you would make a fantastic father someday. (No, I’m not trying to trick you or anything, especially because I’m not ready for kids for many years to come, but I just wanted you to know.) You are honest, caring, gentle, understanding, and patient. Hell, I could keep going, but you get the point. I can’t wait until you come home for good. I’m looking forward to starting our next chapter together and I hope that I can remain in your story until the end. I adore you and your entire family.

Please, please be safe over there and know that my heart is with you wherever you go. I believe in you and, when you come home, you can tell me everything. All your stories, all your struggles, and those of the others you’ve mentioned. I want to take your burden for you and carry it, so you’re not alone.

I took a selfie for you the other day and I’m putting in here. I want you to look at me when you feel weakened or bothered by anything. Look into my eyes and just know that I am here for you. I would’ve taken a sexier one, too, but I didn’t want you showing all your buddies… Oh, and I got on your cell while you were sleeping - hope you don’t mind - and added my Skype username to your contact info. I also deleted some bitch named “hotNjuicy”… I mean, really? I won’t ask anything and will just hope she won’t show back up. (Insert eye roll.) You can call or Skype me anytime whatsoever, John, and I will be there. I look forward to the future of us. I’ll be dreaming of you every night, soldier.

Stay safe and dream of me, because if you do, we’ll always be together in those dreams and whenever you’re lonely look up at the stars and
know I’ll be under the same sky.

Love you eternally,

EC

Folding the note, I slipped my picture into it. A few tears escaped while I was writing. I stuffed the note into the bag and ran
to the bathroom to splash cold water on my eyes. I knew I’d cry dropping him off at the airport, but I didn’t need my eyes puffy all morning until then. I quickly reapplied some eyeliner and made my way back down with his bag. Dropping it by the front door, I turned to go back to the kitchen. Liz had done the dishes for me, and they were both ready to leave.

We all grabbed our jackets
, while looking somberly at each other.
This fucking sucks
. I opened the door and held it for John and Liz. She walked out first and he followed, but not before smacking me in the ass and whispering,
Enjoy the peace and quiet before I get back, EC, because your life is going to change
.

“You’re such a douche!” I joked and pushed him out the front door.

We all piled into Liz’s car. Of course, I had the backseat again, but at least I wouldn’t need to change on the fly. It was late morning, so the traffic was light. We needed to go to the Port Columbus airport, since it was easier for him to catch a connecting flight. The drive wouldn’t take long at all.

There wasn’t much talking
, so Liz turned the radio on to kill the silence. I reached my hands forward and started rubbing John’s shoulders. He brought his hands back and placed them on mine, gently rubbing the tops of my hands.
I’m going to miss his touch.
We continued for another minute or so before Liz turned the radio down.

“Okay, first off, you two, gross,” she said. “Second, John do you have any idea where they’re going to send you now?”

“They’re going to send me back to my unit, wherever they are now.”

“That was helpful,” I said.

“It’s the norm,” he explained. “You don’t usually know until you’re either on your way, or already there. Even then, sometimes you don’t know where you are.”

“Mandy, we should just kidnap this big fucker and never let him go back,” Liz joked.

“I would, but he’s not exactly easy to hide.”