To Love and to Cherish (17 page)

Jared accepted his coffee and watched irritably as Laurie poured coffee for the other men. He wanted to punch Loomis. The man treated Laurie like a porcelain doll, not like a real flesh-and-blood woman. Couldn't he tell she had enough life in her for a dozen women? She wasn't the kind of woman to be put on a shelf and admired. She had a lust for life that should cause any red-blooded male long to take her to bed and stay there until he was too exhausted to get up.

Watching his nephew stare at Laurie with his tongue hanging out amused and exasperated Jared. He could remember his own first crush, but it was on a girl his own age, not a woman who'd been married and widowed. What did Steve think was going to happen?

Jared told himself to stop acting like a fool. Steve wasn't an idiot. He knew nothing would ever come of his crush on Laurie. Being infatuated with an older woman was the sort of thing young boys did. She was safe. He could admire her, dream about her, and lust after her without worrying anything would be required of him. He wasn't like Jared.

“Breakfast is ready,” Laurie informed everyone.

There was a clattering of feet as the men settled onto the benches on either side of the table. Loomis carried two bowls to the table for Laurie, then waited until she was seated before taking his own seat. Jared could tell Laurie really liked that. The smile she gave Loomis could have melted a twenty-foot snowdrift, and that
really
irritated Jared. He should have been the one to carry the bowls to the table and wait for her to be seated. Only he hadn't thought of it because none of the men he'd been around growing up had treated their wives like that. If they were all like his own mother, he wasn't surprised.

“I hope you got more of this coffee, ma'am,” Nick said. “I've already finished my cup.”

“Get it yourself,” Jared barked. “The pot's on the stove.”

Nick stood up. “I was planning to. I just wanted an excuse for Laurie to look my way and smile the way she smiled at Loomis.”

Laurie turned to Nick and favored him with a smile that made Jared's temperature shoot up at least ten degrees. “I don't need an excuse to smile at a charming young man like you,” Laurie told him. She swung her gaze to encompass the whole room. “Or any one of you.”

“Don't waste your time on Odell,” Nick advised. “He's still angry that he has to work like the rest of us rather than stay here cooking things we can neither recognize nor take a chance on eating.”

“I don't like it when it's cold,” Odell said, “but I like her cooking better than mine.”

“We all do,” Loomis said.

“Stop trying to embarrass me.” Laurie got up and went to the stove. “The ice in the bucket has melted. I'll make enough coffee to fill your canteens.”

Fortunately for Jared's rising temper, the men concentrated on eating while Laurie boiled water for more coffee.

“What do we have to do today?” Nick asked Jared.

“You can tell the man knows nothing about cows,” Loomis said. “Where in Europe did you say you were born?”

“Sicily,” Nick answered. “We had lots of cows but no snow.”

“We have to check on as much of the herd as we can,” Jared told him. “Longhorns are pretty self-sufficient, but they can be buried in drifts or bunched in a canyon to get out of the wind. We'll have to break ice so they can find water. Be on the lookout for wolves and cougars. Right now the snow slows them down more than the cows. If it crusts over hard enough for them to walk on it without breaking through, the herd will be at their mercy.”

“I'll need more than one canteen of coffee,” Nick told Laurie.

“I'll keep a pot going all day.”

“Don't let me see you showing up here every hour,” Jared snapped.

“You aren't riding with us?” Loomis asked.

“Of course I am. Those are my cows.”

“Mine, too,” Steve reminded him.

Jared ignored Steve. “Why did you think I wouldn't be riding with you?”

“From what you said to Nick, it sounded like you planned to be here all day.”

“Well, I don't. Now all of you eat up and get in the saddle. Those cows have had all night to get themselves caught in a drift. And don't forget to take your axes with you.”

“Supper will be early tonight,” Laurie said. “I expect most of the snow will melt today, but I want to start for home well before dark. The trail is bound to be messy.”

“I'm not sure the snow is going to melt,” Jared said. “We'll have to wait and see.”

Laurie stilled, then looked directly at him. “I
have
to go back. Under no circumstances can I spend a second night here.”

Her statement was so unequivocal, her look so determined, that the men turned toward Jared with questioning looks. Could they be thinking he'd made some unwelcome advance? Did Laurie's resolve to return to town regardless of the weather mean she was afraid he'd demand a repeat of last night?

“I'm related to half the people in Cactus Corner,” Laurie explained, “but that won't stop them from speculating on the reasons why I would stay here rather than return home. None of you has to live in Cactus Corner. I do, and I don't want everyone gossiping behind my back.”

“We'll make sure you get back even if it takes all of us,” Loomis assured her.

Jared made a mental note to break Loomis's neck as soon as he got the opportunity. “We don't have to make any decisions now, but we do have to get into the saddle. I want as many of the cows as you can find headed toward the river. The snow is likely to melt there first so they will be able to find something to eat. I doubt the river will freeze so they'll have water without us having to climb through canyons to find pools covered with ice.” He stood. “We ride out as soon as you fill your canteens.”

All six men hurried to finish their breakfasts. As soon as they saddled their horses, they were back to fill their canteens. By the time the last man came back for coffee, the kitchen floor had been tracked with snow.

“Don't worry about it,” Laurie told Jared. “It'll dry.”

“I'm not worried about the floor. I'm worried about you. Don't bother with the rest of the house. Stay in the kitchen where it's warm.”

“I'll be fine,” Laurie assured him. “I lived through snowstorms like this every winter in Kentucky.

“Well, you're not in Kentucky, and there's nobody here to look after you.”

“I'm your partner, not your wife,” Laurie reminded him. “You don't have to
look
after
me
.”

“I still feel responsible.”

“Don't. Tell the men I'll have supper ready by four o'clock. That ought to give me plenty of time to get home before dark.”

“You don't have to leave. I'll stay in the bunkhouse if it will make you feel better.”

“I really can't stay, but if I did, I wouldn't force you to sleep in the bunkhouse. You didn't make me do anything I didn't want to do. Now you'd better get going, or the men will accuse you of using your position as boss to stay close to the fire.”

If she only knew. The fire wasn't half as tempting as she was.

***

Laurie stirred the beef stew to keep it from sticking. The men had been in and out all day to spend a few minutes getting warm and to refill their canteens with hot coffee. Jared had been in only once. He said the herd was in good shape, but it was going to take more than a single day to get them out of the canyons, down off the rim, and into the valley next to the river. He also said the snow wasn't melting. It hadn't been above twenty degrees all day. The sun had stubbornly remained behind a thick cover of clouds. How was she going to get home?

She wasn't afraid of Jared. Just the opposite. She was so strongly attracted to him that she was certain she would let him make love to her again. But she needed time to think, and she couldn't do that while she was in his house. Certainly not when he was sleeping across the hall. She wasn't sure what she had to decide, but she knew there was something she had to straighten out in her mind before she could decide what to do next.

She didn't want to get married again. Four years with Noah had been more than enough for a lifetime. When he died, she'd expected to have enough money to be independent, but Noah's will had destroyed that chance. In a way, this partnership with Jared was even better. If the ranch was successful, she would have more money than ever and she would be out of Norman's control. Maybe she would have enough money to move to Preston or Tucson. She would hate to leave her cousins behind, but then she would be truly free. The prospect was exciting, but she couldn't get ahead of herself.

She wanted to know what kind of income the ranch could generate. She would never spend more than she had because that would give someone else control over her. Her father had sold her, her husband had humiliated her, and Norman wanted to manage her. She would never let that happen again.

The door burst open, and Steve entered on a wave of icy air. He slammed the door behind him and went straight to warm himself by the stove. “I don't know why Jared insisted we leave Texas. We never had to put up with anything like this.”

“I thought he came west to find his brothers.”

“He did, but he could have hired a Pinkerton. Then I wouldn't be dragging cows out of snowdrifts above my head.”

“Where is everybody else?”

“They're coming. They told me I could quit first because I was the youngest, but I know they're just as cold. I wouldn't be surprised if Clay heads back to Louisiana as soon as the snow melts.”

“Did it melt any today?”

Jared entered in time to hear her question. “Not a single flake as far as I can tell.” He walked to the stove, rubbing his hands together to get them warm. “You're still snowed in.”

Laurie was dismayed but not surprised. She'd gone outside several times to collect snow to melt for coffee. All the coming and going had trampled the snow between the house and the bunkhouse, but the drifts against the house hadn't diminished. The snow hadn't begun to fall from the limbs of the cottonwood trees. The weight of it bent juniper limbs nearly to the ground.

“I'm glad it didn't melt,” Steve said. “I like having you here.”

“I like being here, but that isn't the issue.”

“What is?”

“She's already told you,” Jared told his nephew.

“I don't know why you care what anybody says,” Steve said to Laurie. “Everybody knows you're perfect.”

Laurie wondered if she'd ever been so innocent. She'd known her parents weren't perfect long before she reached her fifteenth birthday. “I feel better sleeping in my own bed each night.” Which wasn't quite true because that bed reminded her of the hundreds of nights she'd spent next to Noah.

“We can bring your bed here.”

Jared laughed. “That would cause enough gossip to reach Tucson.”

“Maybe not Tucson,” Laurie said, “but certainly Prescott.” Only she didn't care about either of those cities. Just Cactus Corner.

“Well, nobody had better say anything bad about you to me,” Steve declared.

“Or me,” Jared added.

Laurie didn't know how to respond to such declarations, so she was relieved when the other men entered the kitchen. They headed straight for the warmth of the stove, leaving a trail of snow across the floor. She didn't say anything. It would melt, soak into the wood, and tomorrow you'd never know the floor had been wet.

Nick forced his way into the circle around the stove between Clay and Loomis. “I've been up to the rim and down to the river, and nothing's melting.”

“We've dragged cows out of drifts up to their horns,” Clay said. “I didn't know there was this much snow in the whole world. It was never like this in Louisiana.”

“It's so cold, every water hole we opened will freeze over tonight,” Odell added. “You'll be stuck here for the better part of a week.”

“If Miss Laurie wants to go home,” Loomis said, “I'll see she gets home.”

“It would take hours,” Steve said.

“Then they'll be hours I spend in her company. I can't think of a better use for them.”

Laurie knew she ought to say she wouldn't let any of them take the time to escort her home after being in the saddle all day, but she really wanted to go home. Her gaze cut to Jared. She was surprised to find him glaring angrily at Loomis.

“If Laurie needs anyone to help her get home, I'll be the one to do it.”

“It ought to be me,” Steve objected. “I always do it. Besides, you can't stay in her house.

“I can stay in a hotel.”

“There's no hotel in Cactus Corner.”

Jared turned to Laurie. “There must be someplace for people to stay.”

“They've got some rooms above the saloon.”

“Then I'll stay there.”

“You don't have to go,” Steve told his uncle.

“I should go,” Loomis said. “Steve is too young, and Jared needs to be here because it's his ranch.”

“I'm not too young,” Steve insisted.

“This is my ranch so Laurie's safety is my responsibility,” Jared said. “I'll see she gets home safely.”

“It's my ranch, too,” Steve said.

Laurie was flattered that everyone was so concerned about her safety, but she didn't want this to degenerate into an argument. As important as it was to get home, she'd stay here before she caused trouble for Jared. A loud knock caused everyone to turn toward the door.

“Who could that be?” Steve asked.

“Open the door and see,” Jared told him.

Nobody was more shocked than Laurie when Colby stepped into the kitchen.

“I'm here to take Laurie home,” he announced.

Colby wasn't fazed by the confused and unfriendly response that met his announcement. “My wife is Laurie's cousin,” he explained. “She and just about every woman in Cactus Corner—half of them related to Laurie—spent most of the night at my house worrying about her. The only reason they aren't here themselves is that I promised to bring her home tonight.”

“By the time we realized the snow wasn't going to stop, it was too late,” Jared said.

“You can't be any more concerned for her safety than we are,” Loomis added.

“That's why I ride with her every morning and night,” Steve said.

“It's as much a question of my sanity as your safety,” Colby said to Laurie. “Do you know what it's like having a houseful of women imagining such horrible things happening to you that I was nearly ready to come after you when it was so dark I couldn't see a dozen feet in front of me?”

“It's my fault,” Laurie said. “I was so sure the snow would stop and melt before nightfall that I stayed until it was too late to try to go home.”

“It's no one's fault,” Colby said, “but Laurie has to go home tonight. In case you're wondering, everyone is concerned about her safety rather than her reputation.”

Jared was surprised at the anger he felt. Being married to Laurie's cousin meant Colby would automatically be concerned about Laurie's safety, as would other members of her family. Since there was nothing in Colby's demeanor to indicate he thought anything improper had occurred, Jared had no reason to be upset. But he was. Was it because he thought Laurie was his responsibility and resented Colby's intrusion?

“How did you get here?” Laurie asked Colby. “Jared said the snow hasn't started to melt.”

“I had a load to take to the fort. There's nothing like eight oxen and a wagon to break a trail through the deepest snow.”

“Did you drive your wagon up to the house?” Jared asked.

“He sure did.” Steve had rushed to the window. “Can I drive them on the way to town?”

“When they're headed home, those oxen don't need anybody to drive them. They know the way.” Colby turned to Laurie. “You'd better bundle up as much as you can. It's bitter cold out there.”

“I can't leave until the men have had their supper.”

“We can serve ourselves, ma'am,” Loomis said. “You get on home.”

“I'm going with her,” Steve announced.

“Me, too,” Jared said.

“You don't have to do that,” Laurie said, “not with Colby making sure I'm safe.”

“Someone has to drive your buggy,” Steve reminded her.

“I'm responsible for your safety from the moment you leave your house until you return.” Jared knew there was no real need for him to accompany Laurie to town, but staying here felt like he was shirking his responsibility, like he wasn't properly concerned about her safety. He'd been the one to insist that she had to work at the ranch to earn a full partnership, so he had to make sure nothing happened to her.

“You can't go without eating your supper,” Laurie said. “You've both been in the saddle all day.”

“You need to eat, too,” Jared said. “It's a long, cold ride.”

Laurie hesitated.

“Colby should eat with us as well,” Jared said.

“Naomi will have supper for me when I get home.”

“You look like a man who could eat two suppers.”

Colby grinned. “It's been known to happen.”

“Grab a plate and help yourself. If I know Laurie, she's made enough for a crew twice this size.”

Once Colby accepted the invitation to sit down and eat with them, Jared started to relax. He couldn't understand why he resented Colby's concern for Laurie, but there was no use denying that he did. Maybe he believed the secrecy of their business arrangement gave him a right not shared by anyone else. Maybe he felt everyone from Cactus Corner shared responsibility for Laurie's unfortunate marriage. Or maybe he was just jealous of any man who showed attention to Laurie. That would explain his reaction to Loomis and Nick. In all likelihood, he was overestimating the importance of their shared intimacy. Laurie wasn't acting like anything had changed.

And that irritated him because, for him, everything
had
changed.

“What possessed you to buy a cattle ranch in the Arizona Territory,” Colby asked Jared, “especially when this particular ranch had already failed? Naomi tells me you gave up a successful army career.”

“I came out here looking for my brothers,” Jared said. “I'd finally gotten tired of the army, but I didn't want to go back East. I figured Arizona wasn't all that different from south Texas. I already knew about running cows in near desert conditions, so I decided to stay. Anyway, I'm going to buy Herefords. They're much better for beef than longhorns.”

That led to a discussion of range conditions versus cattle needs that involved everyone at the table. Jared was surprised at how much Colby knew about ranching.

“Why didn't you go into ranching yourself?” he asked Colby. “You know enough.”

“Never liked messing with cows or staying in one place.”

“You're staying in one place now.”

“I've got four very good reasons to change my mind.” He turned to Laurie and favored her with a broad grin. “I suspect Laurie knows I have a fifth one on the way.” He laughed at her embarrassment. “The husband is always the last to know.”

“Naomi didn't want to say anything until she was sure,” Laurie told him. “She knew how excited you'd be.”

“My wife and her cousins believe I'm so desperate for family I'd do something reckless if this was a false alarm. Even without my birth family, I've got more than any man could hope for. And don't start in about us being brothers,” Colby said to Jared. “That used to be all I could think about, but not anymore.”

Laurie had told Jared what Naomi said about Colby having given up trying to find his brothers, so Jared called back the words he'd almost spoken. Colby was in no mood to listen to anything Jared said, and this wasn't the time to try to change Colby's mind. Jared wasn't going anywhere and neither was Colby. Something would happen, some opportunity would arrive, for him to get Colby to reconsider. Jared could wait. He was certain he'd found one brother. That was enough for now.

Colby finished his supper and stood. “It's time to get going. With no sun, it'll be dark early.”

Laurie was bundled up and ready long before Steve could have a horse harnessed to the buggy and Jared could saddle a fresh horse, so Colby told Jared he would start and they could catch up. In light of how slowly oxen moved, it was a sensible thing to do, but it only served to make Jared angry all over again. He was going to have to learn to control his feelings about Laurie.

He'd only known her for a few days, and while they'd slept together, it had only happened once and she didn't seem anxious to have it happen again. Nor did she stop giving the other men as much attention as she gave Jared. He'd never reacted like this with any of the other women he'd been involved with, so why should it happen with Laurie? It wasn't like he was looking for a wife. Yet he must be looking for something to become this upset. What was it?

***

“Of course I don't mind you staying with us,” Naomi said to Jared. “We have two bedrooms that aren't being used.” She cast a coy glance at Colby. “At least not yet.”

“I appreciate your hospitality, but I can stay at the saloon. Colby says they have rooms upstairs.”

“It's time we got a decent hotel,” Naomi said, “but until we do, you can stay here whenever you're in town. Are you hungry? I don't think Colby's supper has burned up yet.”

Colby shared a conspiratorial grin. “I'm starved.”

“I'd like some coffee if you have it,” Jared said.

“Come into the kitchen. You can keep Colby company while he eats.”

“Where are the children?” Colby asked.

“They went to bed early. Peter and Esther had never seen snow,” she told Jared. “They wore themselves out playing in it. Morley Sumner made snow cream for everybody. They can't wait for it to snow again.”

Jared smiled and tried to pretend that he wasn't thoroughly out of temper. The trip into town had been miserable and, in his mind, completely unnecessary. Laurie would have needed twice as much clothing to have stayed warm. Steve was exhausted after a day in the saddle, and Jared was feeling worn out himself. It had been impossible to talk during the trip. With the wagon squeaking, harnesses jangling, and twenty sets of hooves crunching through the snow, they didn't need the wind to drown out conversation. But it had been windy, and Colby was the only one to arrive in town not looking like an icicle. Laurie had dashed into her house without giving Jared a chance to say more than a hurried good night.

“Now that we've caught each other up on the day's events,” Naomi said to Jared, “we can stop boring you. Don't pretend you're not bored and tired. You can go to bed now if you like.”

“I'll go soon, but I'd like to talk to your husband for a bit.”

Colby's expression wasn't encouraging. “Not about us being brothers, I hope.”

“Why are you so against considering the possibility? You said yourself that it was all you could think of for years.”

“I ran away from the couple that adopted me, and I had no friends or relatives. I had nothing to think about but the family I'd lost. All that changed when I fell in love with Naomi and the twins came to live with us. Now this whole town is like my family.”

“But they're not your
real
family, not your blood kin.”

Colby swallowed the last of his coffee, and Naomi refilled his cup. “First of all, you have no proof that we're brothers. Even you admit it was a feeling, a hunch. Even if you're certain I look like your father—which I doubt. How could a three-year-old remember what anyone looked like?—that wouldn't be proof.”

“There's got to be proof. All we have to do is find it. It can't be coincidence that both of us lost our parents along the Santa Fe Trail in the same year.”

“Hundreds of people die on that trail every year.”

“But how many couples with three small boys who were adopted by three separate families?”

“Why are you so anxious to find your brothers? It's not like you don't have family.”

“Ever since I can remember, I've known I had two brothers. I've always felt like a part of me was missing. The need to find them grew stronger after my father and both of Steve's parents died.”

“I used to feel that way, too, but not anymore.”

“So you're not going to help me?”

“How can I help you?”

“You must have something from before our parents died. A toy, a blanket, something that I might remember.”

“Didn't you hear me say I ran away? My father beat me, and my mother tortured my mind. There wasn't anything, but if there had been, I wouldn't have kept it. I didn't want anything to remind me of them. If there had been anything, they'd have destroyed it. They didn't want me to be reminded of my family.”

Jared was trying to come up with a counterargument when Colby spoke again.

“What difference would it make if we were brothers? For the last twenty-nine years we've lived totally different and separate lives. We're strangers who know nothing about each other. I'll be happy to be your friend, but it would be better for both of us if you stopped trying to make us brothers. We'll never have proof. Without it, it will just lead to a lot of frustration.”

“I understand what you're saying, but I can't give up. All I ask is that you keep an open mind.”

“I'll do that if you won't mention it again until you have that proof.”

Jared wasn't sure he could do that. “I'll try. Now I'd better get to bed.”

“Not so fast,” Naomi said. “I've got a few questions of my own.”

“The man's tired,” Colby said to his wife. “Let him go to bed.”

“This won't take long. I just want to know what he did to make Laurie work for him when she knows everybody is against it.”

Jared had expected to face some questions, but he hadn't expected anyone to be so direct. What could he say to convince Naomi without revealing Laurie's secret?

“I didn't do anything to convince her. Actually, she came to me. The part about traveling back and forth was the only problem, but we worked it out.”

“Laurie says she wants to be independent, but I know there's more to it.”

“You would have a better idea of that than I would. All I know is Laurie had a horrible marriage. Because of that, she refuses to let Norman control her the way her husband did. I don't know why somebody in this community wasn't able to do something about Noah and isn't able to do anything about Norman.”

“Those are good questions for which I don't have answers,” Naomi said. “I tried to help Laurie—Sibyl, too—but she wouldn't let me. I mean to do something about Norman. I haven't decided what yet, but I'm working on it.”

“You haven't said anything to me about that,” Colby said.

“Because I don't know what I want to do. Now I think we ought to let Jared go to bed. He has to get up early in the morning.”

“Not before light,” Colby said. “I can't stop Laurie from working at your ranch, but I won't have her traveling in the dark.”

“At least that's one thing we agree on. Now if you will show me my room, I think I would like to go to bed.”

Jared was jealous of Colby's house. It was bigger and better built. Cold didn't seep in around windows and blow through cracks. The furnishings were sparse, but what they had was of good quality. It was the kind of house he wanted when he finally had enough money to get married.