To Love and to Cherish (9 page)

Her father had been afraid the soldiers attracted by her charms would lead her to do something that would ruin her. That's the reason he gave for forcing her to marry Noah at seventeen. She had been prepared to be a dutiful wife, but it was clear on their first night together that Noah was repulsed by her body's opulence rather than attracted by it. He'd never come to her as a husband. He'd been certain her opulence was proof she harbored a carnal appetite that he said was disgusting in a lady. As a consequence, she'd spent years attempting to expunge any trace of physical desire.

Now her release from that purgatory was followed almost immediately by a physical attraction so strong it scared her. If it was wicked for a wife to long for and enjoy the embraces of her husband, how much more wicked would it be for her to lust after a man who was a virtual stranger? She hoped he would leave after breakfast and not return until supper. If they were never alone, she would be safe.

***

Laurie had steeled herself for the men's return, but hearing them ride into the ranch yard caused her stomach to clench. She wasn't worried about the food. She was a good cook. Noah had demanded it. It was simply that she would be meeting four men she'd never seen. They would be judging her, her cooking, her reasons for being there. Men were such creatures of habit; they were nearly always resistant to change in their routine.

Steve was the first through the door. “What's for supper? It smells good.”

“Ham. Have you washed up?” The question was merely polite. From the looks of him, he hadn't been near water since morning.

“I don't need to wash to eat.”

“You need to wash if you expect to eat at my table.”

It was clear a battle was going on inside Steve. Did he allow his admiration for her to cause him to yield and wash, or should he stand up for his male prerogatives? If he chose the latter, would the wonderful smell of food vanish as suddenly as it had appeared? Being fifteen, his schoolboy crush and the demands of his stomach carried the day.

“I'll tell everybody. They come in here smelling worse than their horses.”

Laurie questioned whether she'd done the right thing, but she couldn't endure sitting down to supper surrounded by the smell of horses mingled with human sweat. She had found little to like about Noah, but he had insisted on cleanliness.

She waited the five to ten minutes she thought were enough to wash up and maybe change a shirt. When no one had entered the kitchen, she started to get nervous. She walked to the window, but it looked out over the front of the house and she saw nothing but the road that led to town. She opened the side door, but that part of the yard was empty. She heard no sounds. She might as well have been the only person at the ranch. That had been a comfort earlier. Now it meant something was wrong.

The wait stretched so long she worried that the food would be cold and dry before they sat down to the table. What could be keeping them? They weren't getting ready for a formal dinner or a party. This was just supper after a long day's work. She had become so tense that the opening of the door between the kitchen and the hallway caused her to jump. She spun around to see Jared standing in the doorway, the look on his face one degree short of murderous.

“We've cleaned up. May we come in?”

“Of course. You don't have to ask to enter your own kitchen.”

“Steve said that
you
said
now there was a lady around the house, we had to act like gentlemen.”

“All I said was he needed to wash up before he sat down to the table.”

“You didn't say we needed a bath and to change our clothes?”

“Of course not. Why would I want you to take so long that the biscuits have gone cold and the ham dry? I expect the coffee is strong enough to walk out of here by itself.”

Jared's expression forecast a stormy session ahead for Steve. He called behind him, “Come in, fellas, before the food gets any colder.”

Steve nearly bounded through the door, but the four men who followed marched in as solemnly as if they were going to their own execution. All six men were dressed like they were ready to go to church or attend a wedding. She was certain Jared and two others had taken the time to shave. Her hopes for a good beginning evaporated. No meal, regardless of how delicious, could make up for the humiliation she'd put them through. Jared must be desperate for her money to have agreed to it. She'd have to find a way to make up for it, but nothing could help her right now. She indicated the table that was covered with empty plates and bowls of food. “Sit down and serve yourselves. I'll pour the coffee.”

Except for Steve, you would have thought they were being served their last meal. They moved to the table only to take up a position in front of a plate.

“Sit down.”

“We can't,” Steve announced. “You aren't seated.”

Laurie started to protest that it wasn't necessary, but she could tell from Jared's expression that it was. She quickly took her seat. The men sat, but when the severity of their expressions remained unchanged, she sighed and accepted defeat. “Please serve yourselves.”

“We have to wait for you,” Steve announced.

That was too much. “No, you don't. I have to be up and down serving coffee and refilling bowls. Serve yourself from the bowl in front of you, then pass it to your left.”

Steve wasn't ready to give up. “Mama said a gentleman never served himself before a lady.”

“I'm not the lady of the house. I'm here because fixing supper is my job. If one of the soldier's wives had fixed supper, would you wait for her to sit down and serve herself?”

Steve was backed into a corner. When he didn't answer, Jared answered for him.

“No, he wouldn't. Nor would he make up a list of demands and pretend they'd come from you. In the future, it would be better if you communicated your requirements to me.” His gaze was frosty enough to freeze boiling coffee.

Could this first meal be going any worse? “My only
wish
at the moment is that you will enjoy your supper. The coffee is on the stove. I would serve it, but I need to be excused for a moment.”

She left the room with as much of an appearance of calm as she could manage, but she nearly burst into tears the moment the door closed behind her. She looked for somewhere to hide, but she didn't want to go into the parlor because it was too closely associated with Jared. She escaped to the front porch and moved to the end farthest away from the kitchen. She couldn't understand why she was so upset. She'd endured years of disapproval from Noah. She should be immune to it by now. Why was tonight so different? She barely knew Jared and Steve. She knew nothing about the other men. She might as well have been cooking for strangers. The opinion of people she didn't know had never bothered her before. Why should it matter now?

Steve had substituted his own requirements and attributed them to her. Now that she had explained everything to Jared, it would be all right. But what was
all
right
? And why was it so important? Was it because she found Jared attractive? If so, what was she hoping would come of that attraction?

Nothing. Thanks to that hateful will, she hadn't fully escaped from Noah. She certainly wasn't looking to get involved with another man.

The front door opened, and Jared came out onto the porch. When he saw her, he came toward her. “Are you all right?” His expression showed concern.

“Do you care? I cooked your supper. That's all you want from me.” That was unfair, but she was feeling aggrieved.

“Steve admitted he made up what he said
you
said
about taking a bath and dressing up. The boys would like to thank you for supper. It's very good.”

“It would have been much better thirty minutes ago.” There was no need for her to say that now. “I'll be careful what I say around Steve. He probably thought that's what I wanted.”

“He's at a very impressionable age, and he didn't want to leave Texas. He wants everything to be like it was before he lost his parents. In his mind he knows nothing can be like it was before the war, but he's still struggling emotionally.”

Knowing that made her feel small and self-centered.

“The men understand you're still trying to adjust to the loss of your husband.”

She wasn't going to allow herself to use that as an excuse. “I can't expect you or your men to take my personal life as an excuse for not doing my job. You wouldn't accept that from a man, so I don't want you to accept it from me. Ours is a business relationship. I have entered into an agreement, and I intend to uphold my part.”

Jared's expression softened still more. “Coming in as you have must be difficult. It will take a while for you to become used to us, and for us to become used to you. I promise the men will like you as soon as they know they don't have to take a bath and shave before they eat.”

Laurie's sense of being wronged disappeared. “Why did you believe Steve? Surely no one does that.”

“His mother did. She came from a wealthy family that lost everything in the war. When her husband was killed, she gave up and died.”

Noah had dressed for supper and taken a bath each night, but she didn't expect that of anyone else. Heating Noah's bathwater each night and washing his back had been a burden. Even now she could visualize his pasty white, baby-soft skin with its smattering of black hairs. She'd be glad when she could forget it.

“I don't expect exaggerated manners, but I don't want the men coming to the table smelling so strong they overpower the aromas of the food. Smell is part of the enjoyment of eating.”

“Everything smells wonderful. Now, before the men eat it all up, we need to get back. I'm hungry, and I expect you are, too.”

She hadn't been, but she could feel her appetite returning. It had been a long day, and she'd worked hard.

“The men are anxious for me to introduce them to you. They're going to be a little stiff around you for a while, but don't let that bother you. They'll all ex-soldiers and haven't seen much of women for the last seven years. At least not good women.”

She didn't need to have that explained.

The men were busy eating when they returned. They looked up, unsure of what to do. When one stood, the others started to get to their feet.

“Don't get up,” Laurie said. “If you get up every time I do, you'll never finish your meal. Does anybody need more coffee?”

“The pot's empty,” one man said.

“I have another pot. It'll be ready in ten minutes.” She took a pot from the counter and set it on the stove. “There are more biscuits keeping warm in the oven.”

That caused an instant thawing in the atmosphere. A tentative smile appeared. “Odell never made extra biscuits,” one man said.

“'Cause you wouldn't eat them,” the man she took to be Odell responded.

“That's because they were inedible.”

“Let me introduce you to this cantankerous crew,” Jared said. “The man with the thin, sour face is Odell Staples. He was our cook, but he prefers to ride horses. He comes from Texas. He says he went into the army so his neighbors wouldn't shoot him. The one next to him is Nick Benaras. He says he's from Europe somewhere, but I think he was born under a cactus. He's always complaining about the food, but he can't boil water without burning it.

“Clay Charpiot is from Louisiana. He's one of those Cajuns you hear about. He's still trying to adjust to not living in a swamp. That hang-faced old dog on the end is Loomis Drucker. He hails from the Shenandoah Valley in Virginia. He says he didn't want to go home to a burned-out farm, so he came out West where everything is burned by the sun.”

Odell did look a little sour, but Laurie thought the other three men were nice-looking.

“I hope you mean to stay a long time,” Nick said. “This is first decent food I've had since I had my feet under my Ma's table.”

“I wish you were back at your Ma's table,” Odell grumbled.

“Can't. The Yankees burned it. Besides, I never liked farming.”

Laurie took her place at the table. The men were quick to pass everything. Once they started eating, the conversation became general with the men discussing their work and taking jabs at each other. It didn't take long for her to realize the men were good friends who had a solid respect for each other. Jared was the owner and their boss, but that didn't prevent them from sending a few barbs his way. Steve spent so much time staring at Laurie she worried he wouldn't eat enough.

The men went through the second pot of coffee, all the biscuits, and the peach cobbler she'd prepared for dessert.

With the meal over, Nick sighed and leaned back. “Before you arrived, ma'am, I was thinking Arizona was as close to hell as I could get without actually going there.”

“You're going there all right,” Odell assured him. “Then you'll know how wrong you were.”

Nick ignored Odell. “Now I'm sure it's a little slice of heaven.”

Loomis spoke up. “If you're going to believe anything that lying coyote says, you're not as smart as I take you for.”

“I don't know. I think I could grow to like being thought of as an angel.”

The men laughed, but Steve sat up straight, his expression changed from bemused to serious. “You're so beautiful you should be an angel.”

“You should read your bible, boy,” Loomis said. “All those angels were men.”

“There must have been some girl angels,” Steve insisted.

Laurie decided it was time to end this conversation. “I'm sure you're right, but I have to put the food away and wash the dishes before I can go home. I don't think there were any angels who had to do that.”

“I can help,” Steve offered.

“We can all help,” Jared said. “It's the least we can do in exchange for such a delicious supper.”

Laurie tried to object, but Jared stopped her.

“You have to come here in the dark. You shouldn't have to go home in the dark, too.”

“Are you going to fix breakfast, too?” Nick asked.

“I've agreed to fix breakfast and supper six days a week.”

“Hot damn!” Nick exclaimed. “I'll wash the dishes myself as long as you do the cooking. Hell, I washed them during the war, and what we had to eat wasn't fit for hogs.”

“We've all done mess duty, so washing a few dishes won't upset anybody,” Loomis said. “You go on home.”

Laurie turned to Jared.

“I agree with Loomis. Is there anything you need done for tomorrow?”

“I may bring a few more things from home, but I think I have everything I need.”

“You shouldn't have to use your own supplies or equipment. Make a list of what you need. We'll go into town in a few days.”

“I'm a partner, not a hired housekeeper,” Laurie reminded him. “You shouldn't be expected to provide everything.”

Laurie noticed a sudden stillness in the other men. Apparently Jared hadn't told them about the partnership, and she didn't intend to do it for him. “Are you ready, Steve?”

The boy jumped to his feet. “I'll have the buggy ready in a jiffy.” He dashed out the door without a backward glance.

“You'd better remind him to get a coat,” Laurie said to Jared. “He'll be shivering long before we reach town.”

By the time she'd finished directing the men where to store the little food that hadn't been eaten, Steve had the buggy at the door.

“Don't let him drive too fast,” Jared warned Laurie.

“We're going to share the driving.” Being allowed to drive a buggy was the one freedom she'd wrung from Noah. She didn't intend to give it up entirely for a mere stripling. It was too bad if Steve would be disappointed, but he'd get over it.

“Are you sure you won't have any trouble driving here in the morning? It'll still be dark.”

“I know the road. Today was my third trip out here.”

“Still, I'll worry about you.”

She hadn't expected that. “Don't. Steve and I will be fine.”

She had the stupid feeling she ought to be kissing him good-bye, like she was leaving her husband rather than a partner. She didn't know where that feeling came from, but she had no intention of kissing Jared for any reason. That was asking for trouble. She might need to sit close to the fire to keep warm, but there was no need to stick her hand into the flames.

She let Jared help her into the buggy. “Hand me the reins,” she said to Steve.

He started to protest, but Jared stopped him. “From the moment you leave here until you return, you're to do everything she asks without any objection.”

Steve sulked, but didn't say anything.

As Laurie drove out of the yard, she decided that the first day had gone remarkably well. Once she gave the house a thorough cleaning, it wouldn't be difficult to keep it clean. It was more important that she fix meals the men could enjoy, but if tonight was any indication, that wasn't going to be a problem. There were only two things that worried her. One was dealing with the reaction people would have to her working at the ranch and having Steve sleep in her house each night. She could just imagine how Norman was going to react. The second was keeping her attraction to Jared from growing any stronger. That just might prove to be the more difficult of the two.