To Love Anew (24 page)

Hannah didn’t know how to respond. She’d heard similar words from her mother. After all that had happened to her and to those she loved, how could she believe in a benevolent God? What had he given her other than sorrow and heartache? She could hear Lydia’s reproof. “Ye’ve been given so much. Be thankful.”
And she’s right
, Hannah thought.
When I look at how Lydia lives, I am truly blessed.

“I’ve been thinking,” Mrs. Atherton said, cutting into Hannah’s thoughts. “I need quite a bit of sewing done. Most of the gowns that have been donated for the women are gone. I’ll need more. You’re a fine seamstress. Perhaps you could make some for me?”

“I’d like that.”

“I’m also considering making some alterations in the house. I’ll need new draperies. Would you mind taking care of that for me as well?”

“Not at all, but what of my other duties?”

“You’ll need help, of course. Another housemaid could see to some of your present duties.” She folded her hands neatly in her lap. “Do you know anyone who would be right for the position?” Her eyes gleamed with mischief.

Joy crept into the dark places inside Hannah. “What about Lydia?”

“The young woman you were speaking with today?”

“Yes. She’s a fine person. I’ve never seen anyone work as hard as she. And she’s absolutely honorable.”

Mrs. Atherton smiled. “You’re quite sure of this woman?”

“I am.”

“Well then, I shall have her transferred.”

Hannah brought her hands together. “You mean it?”

“Of course I do.” Mrs. Atherton smiled.

“Thank you, mum. You can’t imagine what this means to me and to Lydia.”

“I’m pleased to do it.” She glanced out the window. “Now then, we have someone to visit before we go home.”

The carriage turned onto an unfamiliar drive and stopped in front of a modest home. Chickens roamed about a small garden, pecking at the ground, and a cow stood in a corral chewing hay.

A woman stepped onto the front porch. She looked familiar.

“Mrs. Parnell!” Hannah exclaimed. A little girl wearing a green dress skipped onto the porch, her red ringlets bouncing. “Lottie?” Hannah could barely wait to get out of the carriage. Her eyes brimming with tears, she looked at Mrs. Atherton. “Thank you,” was all she could manage to say.

Mrs. Atherton patted her arm and with the driver’s assistance stepped out of the carriage. Hannah followed.

Mrs. Parnell approached them. “What a pleasant surprise.” She held out a hand to Mrs. Atherton.

Wearing a smile, Mrs. Atherton grasped her hand. “I hope it’s not an imposition. I made the decision to stop on impulse.” She turned to Hannah. “I’ve brought a guest.”

“Mum!” Lottie cried and ran to Hannah. Throwing her arms about Hannah’s waist she said, “I can’t believe it’s you.” She squeezed Hannah tightly and then stepped back. “Ye look so fine.”

Hannah felt as if her heart would burst with joy. She knelt in front of Lottie and, holding the little girl’s face in her hands, said, “You look wonderful too. I had no notion just how beautiful you are.” She hugged the little girl.

Mrs. Atherton turned to Hannah. “I thought that if it’s all right with Mrs. Parnell, perhaps you and Lottie could have a visit while we chat.”

“That’s a lovely idea.” Mrs. Parnell turned to Lottie. “Would you like that?”

“Yes, mum.”

“Well, then I’ll make us all some sandwiches. You and Hannah can have a picnic.”

Hannah and Lottie settled in a grassy spot beneath a tree. Lottie played hostess and offered Hannah half a chicken sandwich. “They’re very good. Me mum made them.”

Hearing Lottie refer to Mrs. Parnell as Mum reassured Hannah that she’d done the right thing by sending her to live with the Parnells. She accepted the sandwich. “It looks good.” Taking a bite, she said, “You seem happy, luv.”

“I am. It’s grand here. My new mum and dad are splendid people.” Her eyes lit on a nearby corral where a small brown pony stood munching hay. “I’ve a pony. His name is Champion.” She grinned.

“How wonderful. He looks like a fine pony too.”

“He is. We have great fun together.” Lottie bit into her sandwich. “Mum’s teaching me to read. I’m getting quite good. And I’m learning to cipher too.”

Still holding her sandwich, she let her hands rest in her lap. “I’ve missed ye. I wanted to go and see ye, but Port Jackson was too far, and when we found ye were at the factory, Mum said it wouldn’t be proper for me to go there.”

“I absolutely agree. It’s a horrible place, not suitable for fine young ladies.”

Hannah’s answer seemed to satisfy Lottie. “I’m so glad ye came to see me,” she said, leaning against Hannah.

The afternoon passed too quickly, and soon it was time for Hannah and Mrs. Atherton to leave. With hugs and promises of more visits, Hannah stepped into the carriage and settled on the seat opposite Mrs. Atherton.

“I’ll be at church next Sunday,” Lottie said. “Will ye be there?”

Hannah rested an arm on the window. “Absolutely. I wouldn’t miss. I’ve been hoping to see you there.”

“We were out of town and then I was ill,” Mrs. Parnell explained, “but we’ll be there this week, allowing there are no new difficulties.”

“I’ll look forward to seeing you,” Mrs. Atherton said.

When the carriage pulled away, Hannah waved at Lottie and then settled back in her seat. She felt content.

Was it possible that God had forgiven her?
Thank you, Lord, for this day
.

20

Hannah added a piece of cedar to the morning’s fire. “That ought to help ward off the chill.”

Lydia stood in front of the hearth. “I still can’t believe I’m here. I keep thinking I’m going to wake up from a dream.”

“It’s wonderful good fortune,” Hannah said, setting another chunk of wood in the flames. “I’m still stunned.” She smiled at Lydia. “It’s grand that we get to share the cottage.” She crossed the room, opened a bureau drawer, and took out a pair of stockings. “When we left London on that dreadful ship, I couldn’t imagine anything good would come of my future.”

“From the start I knew it would turn out well.” Lydia’s smile warmed the entire room.

“You never lost hope?” Hannah sat and pulled on her stockings.

“I knew God would see me through.” She compressed her lips. “That’s not completely true. I must admit that before Mrs. Atherton freed me from the factory, I was feeling rather low. Ye know that. Ye were there.” She smiled. “I don’t believe yer coming when ye did was an accident. It was the Lord.”

She reached for a gown hanging in the closet and held it against her. “But this . . . I couldn’t imagine—three dresses.”

She flashed Hannah a mischievous smile and whirled away from the closet, holding the dress in front of her. “And good shoes too. And undergarments.” She stopped her frolicking. “I’m grateful to ye and to Mrs. Atherton.”

“Mrs. Atherton knew we were good friends. She’s wonderfully kind. And it is true; I do need help. There’s so much to be done, especially now with the additional sewing.”

Lydia returned the dress to the closet and took out one made of green linen. “Did ye make this one?”

“I did.”

Lydia smoothed the material and pressed down the collar. “It must cost Mrs. Atherton a goodly amount—buying fabric for so many gowns. I can’t imagine.”

“Their business is prospering. They have two enterprises actually. Mr. Atherton sells tools, but most of the earnings come from timber. He ships logs and cut lumber, some of it out of the country. My understanding is that he was once quite adventurous, and I’d say he’s still rather daring.”

“He’s quite good-looking, for an elderly gent, that is.” Lydia grinned.

“He is, but I think it’s his heart that makes him so. He treats everyone kindly and fairly.” Hannah studied her friend. “You ought to wear the green for services this morning. It’s lovely with your eyes.”

“The one I have on is fetching too, don’t ye think?”

“It is.”

Lydia pressed a hand to her abdomen and took in a deep breath. “All of this and church too.” She shook her head. “I’m absolutely giddy.” She returned the gown to the closet. “Will John be going?”

“He rarely misses, especially since it’s required that prisoners attend.” Hannah sat on the bed. “From time to time Mr. Atherton sends him out of town, so of course he can’t make it then. But I’m sure I saw him about yesterday, so he ought to be joining us this morning.”

Hannah’s mind turned to John. Each morning he was her first thought and the last before falling asleep at night. During the day she often found herself seeking him out. Just being near him made her feel more content. Was it possible she was in love with him?
No. I can’t be. And if I am, I simply won’t allow it.

Loving John would only bring about more sorrow. If he knew of her dishonor and her sin, he’d not spend another moment with her.

“Do ye think the two of ye will marry?” Lydia asked.

“I told you I couldn’t marry him.”

“He’s a fine gentleman and—”

“And I don’t want to speak of it.” Hannah stood. “We’ve little time before we have to leave. I’ll see if Mrs. Atherton needs me for anything before we go.”

“Hannah, I think ye ought to consider marriage.”

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

Lydia nodded in resignation. “I’ll be praying about it, then.”

“Do as you see fit.”

Lydia smiled. “Is there anything I ought to be doing?”

“I don’t believe so. Mr. and Mrs. Atherton ride to church in the carriage. The servants use the wagon. The stable man will bring it to the back of the house when it’s time to go.” She glanced out the window. “I’m glad for good weather.” She moved to the door and stepped outside.

John and Perry were on the walkway and she nearly collided with them. Discomfited by John’s presence since she’d just been speaking about him, Hannah found it difficult to meet his eyes.

He smiled. “You’re in quite a hurry.”

“I was just on my way to see if Mrs. Atherton needs anything.”

“Are you all right?”

“Fine, thank you.”
I can’t allow anything even slightly romantic,
Hannah told herself, profoundly aware of John’s good looks.

“I heard Lydia’s been transferred from the factory and is working here. Is that true?”

“Yes. As a matter of fact, she’ll be going to church with us. She’s not quite ready yet.”

“I was just wanting to say hello, but we’ll wait and see her on the way, then.” He flashed Perry a knowing look.

“Are you two up to something?” Hannah asked.

“No. Why do you ask?”

Hannah glanced from John to Perry. Truth struck her. “You can’t seriously be thinking—”

“We’re not thinking anything in particular,” John said. “Just wanted to introduce Perry.”

“John told me she’s a fine woman, and ’round ’ere there’s not many of them to be had.”

“Did John also tell you she’s a mind of her own?”

“Yeah, I heard, but figured she might be interested.” Perry grinned. “And she’s not the only one with a mind of her own. I’ve been known to be a bit determined meself.”

“Belligerent is more like it,” Hannah teased. “I’ve work to do,” she said and headed for the house, but she couldn’t keep from smiling. Perry sometimes behaved insufferably, but he was a good sort and she liked him. Still, she couldn’t imagine him and Lydia ever pairing off.

Crowded with employees and servants, the wagon pulled away from the Atherton farm. Hannah and Lydia sat next to each other on a bench that ran along the side of the wagon bed. Elvine had taken a place next to them. John sat across from Hannah, his arm slung across the top of a side rail. Beside John, Perry leaned forward, resting his forearms on his thighs. A roustabout shared the front seat with the driver and another sat in the back behind the driver’s seat. His wife and son were with him.

“It’s a shame Gwen’s unable to join us today,” Elvine said.

“Is she ill?” Hannah asked.

“Oh, just a case of the sniffles. I dare say that most likely she’s enjoying a morning of leisure.”

“I’m thankful to be allowed to attend. Whilst living in London, Sunday services were mostly for the royals and the well-born. Me mum tried attending a few times, but people made it clear we weren’t welcome. After that, we had our own services at home. We’d sing hymns and read from the Holy Book.”

“I’m sorry to say I never gave the lower class’s condition much thought,” John said. “But now that you mention it, I don’t remember anyone in church who wasn’t upper crust. These days I’d certainly be turned away.” He grinned.

Perry kept looking at Lydia. Hannah smiled inwardly. He obviously wanted to become acquainted.

“Eh, would ye put yer eyes back in yer head.” Lydia threw one leg over the other and turned away from Perry.

“What? Me?” Perry asked.

“Who else would I be talkin’ to?” Lydia turned her gaze toward the hillsides.

“I wasn’t starin’ at ye.”

Lydia didn’t look at him. “Ye weren’t, eh?” A smile played at her lips.

Hannah glanced at John. Their eyes met and held for a moment, and then she looked away. Hannah knew his intentions, but he’d not said anything.
If he does, I’ll be forced to refuse him.

She needed to keep distance between them. Nothing could come of a friendship. She couldn’t possibly tell him of her past, and she wouldn’t marry him under false pretenses.
I’ll remain a spinster. It’s the only prudent thing to do.

The driver pulled the horses to a stop beneath a tree, alongside the Atherton coach. Dalton helped Mr. and Mrs. Atherton disembark, and then closed the coach door and joined the other servants.

Thankful to be free of the close quarters, Hannah moved to the rear of the wagon. John propelled himself over the side and held out a hand to assist her.

She stared at it, then accepting the offer she stepped down. He held her hand for a moment longer than need be. Hannah liked the feel of it. His grip was strong and his palm callused. Reluctantly she pulled her hand free. “Thank you.” She moved toward the church steps.

Lydia walked beside her. “He’s quite taken with ye,” she whispered, glancing over her shoulder at John.

“Matters little to me.” Hannah could still feel the strength in his hands.