To Protect and Serve (22 page)

             
“I hit Chad?  But he’s my friend.”

             
“Bob said an attorney was on the way.  Do you know which one?”  Doug questioned Sue.

             
“Bradley Harris, I think.  Andy’s gonna need the best criminal defense attorney I can afford.”

             
“WE can afford.  I’ll help with the cost.”  Doug put a hand on Sue’s shoulder.  “Maybe if I’d been there for him sooner, he wouldn’t be here right now.” 

             
Sue shrugged his hand off and said, “Doug, I never allowed you near him.  This isn’t your problem.”

             
“Yes it is.  He’s my son, too, whether I helped raise him or not.  Please let me help now.  I want to.”

             
Sue considered Doug’s request and said she’d think about it.

             
Andy had fallen back on the concrete shelf and was amazingly asleep again.

             
“Let him sleep it off Doug.  Come back at the end of shift. Maybe he’ll be more coherent then.”  Bill hated seeing Doug like this.  He knew his friend was blaming himself for Andy’s current condition.

             
Doug looked at Sue, who was looking at Andy.  “Yeah.  I think I’ll go home.  Sue, call me tomorrow.  I really want to help.”  Doug turned away and went up the stairs.

             
After a minute, Sue turned to Bill.  “How’s Doug doing?  He looks good.”

             
“He’s doing fine.”

             
Sue stood there with her arms crossed in front of her, gazing at her son.  “I heard Doug’s got a new girlfriend.”

             
Boy, word sure travels fast in the department. 

             
As Sue sat down on one of the hard plastic chairs outside the cell, Bill thought he heard her say something like, “Lucky lady.  Didn’t know what I had.”

             
Bill couldn’t have agreed more.

             
As Doug came out of the top of the stairwell, he almost ran into the sergeant, who seemed to be waiting for him.

             
“More trouble with Andy?  You know, Doug, it’s been proven that kids from broken homes have a harder time with the law.”  The smirk on the sergeant’s mouth was begging for a fist.

             
With extreme self-control, Doug was able to walk past the jerk without killing him.  Doug kept walking to the exit door without acknowledging what the sergeant had said.  Just as his hand touched the door handle, he heard a snort from the sergeant.

             
“About time you decided to get involved with your son.”

             
Doug kept walking.  Although it would have felt great to squash the guy like a bug, he had bigger problems to attend to.  He’d save the sergeant for a day he was bored with nothing better to do.

             
                                          ………………….

             
The next morning, Nancy frowned as she placed the phone receiver back into its cradle.

             
“Was that Doug, Mom?”  Kate asked before Christy had the chance to.  They were sitting at the dining room table pouring over a bridal

magazine making plans for Christy and Jackson’s wedding, although Nancy hoped it wasn’t going to happen for at least another year.

              “Yes.  Doug’s son has been arrested for hit and run while under the influence.”  Nancy slowly shook her head back and forth then looked at her girls.  “Thank you so much for not being like that.”

             
Both girls got up and moved over to Nancy and the three of them stood with their arms around each other for several moments.

             
“Oh, YES!  Group hug!”  Jackson called out as he bounded into the kitchen.  He ran over and wrapped his arms mostly around Christy while everyone laughed.

             
“Thank you, Jackson.  I needed that.”  Nancy wiped her eyes and smiled at him.

             
“I do what I can, Momma A.”  Jackson was giving Nancy his patented “I own the world” grin.

             
“I imagine Doug could use someone like you right about now,” Nancy said thoughtfully.

             
“Is he coming over here tonight?” Kate asked.

             
“No.  He said he’d get back to me.  That for now, Bill and Patty’s ceremony has been postponed.”  Nancy added to herself, I sure hope I hear from him sooner rather than later.

             
It was actually six weeks later.  Six of the longest weeks in Nancy’s life.

             
She’d seen a picture in the Orange Daily News of Andy being escorted into the courthouse with his attorney, Bradley Harris in front, and Doug and Sue on either side of Andy.  Doug’s hand was reaching across Andy’s back and was resting on Sue’s shoulder.  Sue was looking over at Doug.  The black and white print was grainy, but vivid.  Sue was looking at Doug with love in her eyes.

             
Nancy’s stomach dropped when she wondered if Sue was the reason that Doug hadn’t called.  She wondered if Doug was starting to feel sorry he’d gone out with Nancy.  She wondered if he’d ever call.

             
Nancy tried to be philosophical about Doug’s lack of communication.  No use borrowing trouble as her grandpa used to say.  She’d just have to wait and see.  She’d left one message at the station for him but hadn’t heard back.  She knew he’d call if he wanted to. 

She hoped he wanted to.

              Doug was now on the night shift, which left his days open so he could spend time with his son.  The judge showed compassion and Andy went immediately into a rehab program.  With both his mom and dad paying attention to him, he was calming down and making some changes in the way he viewed his life.  Andy knew that he would have to make some rather large changes, and pretty fast, or he’d be dead before he hit 30.

             
Sue had been being especially nice to Doug and their friendship was almost back to where it had been when they’d been partners on the force.  Doug could tell that Sue wanted more, but he wasn’t interested in her that way.  It still made Doug mentally flinch a little to remember one of the incidents with Sue after a day in court…

             
He’d driven Sue home after they’d spent several hours with Andy at the rehab center after court that day.   Andy was having a hard time adjusting to the restrictions that were mandatory at the center and today had been an especially difficult one.  It didn’t help that he was still having to get used to no alcohol, especially when he had the habit of drinking when he was stressed.  When Sue had moved to give him a hug before she and Doug left, Andy had been surly which had upset Sue even more.

             
Pulling into Sue’s driveway, Doug shifted the car into park but didn’t turn off the engine.  Sue turned to Doug and asked him tearfully if he’d come in, just to check the house for her.

             
Doug reluctantly agreed, turned off the engine and stepped out of the car.  What he really wanted to do was go home, take a shower and call Nancy.                They walked up to the front door and Sue dug around in her purse while Doug shifted from foot to foot.  She finally got the front door unlocked, reached inside and flipped on the lights.  Doug stepped into the house and went from room to room, checking to ensure that the windows were still secured and everything was okay.

             
He came down the hall to the kitchen where he heard Sue rummaging around.  Doug stepped into the kitchen and Sue turned from the counter and handed him an opened beer bottle.  Doug turned and set it on the table without drinking from it.  Sue took a large drink from her bottle.

             
“Everything’s secure, so I’ll be going now.”  Doug turned to walk down the hall.

             
“Wait, Doug.”  Sue moved towards him.  “I wanted to thank you for everything you’ve done for us – for Andy and me.  And also to apologize for keeping you from your son all these years.  You didn’t deserve that.” 

             
Sue set her beer bottle down on the counter and moved closer to Doug.  She reached out to him.  Doug stepped back.

             
Sue looked beseechingly at him.  “It’s just a hug.  I could really use one right now.”  Her eyes brimmed with tears.

             
Doug felt like a jerk for having suspected her motives and stepping towards her, took her into his embrace for a hug.  Sue clung to him while she cried.  He felt a jumble of emotions that threatened to swamp him.  Guilt, pity, sorrow, and anger at himself.

             
They stood that way for quite a while until Sue’s sobs diminished – Sue clinging to Doug and Doug holding her gently and rubbing her back in a “there-there” motion.  Finally she pulled back and wiped her eyes on her sleeve.  Doug looked around the kitchen and found the paper towels.  Pulling one off the roll, he handed it to her with a small smile.  “I know it’s not soft, but it’s better than a sleeve.”

             
Sue gave a small hiccup and smiled at Doug as she took the offered paper towel.  “You know, Doug.  I was really stupid to let you go.”

             
“Sue, we never were really together.  It was a one-time aberration.  Nothing more.”  Doug tried to keep his voice even, but compassionate.

             
“How can you say that?  We have a son together.”  Sue looked hurt.  She grabbed her beer and drained it.

             
“Come on, Sue.  You and I both know
that
won’t handle anything.”  Doug gestured towards now empty beer bottle.

             
“Do not lecture me, Doug.  I don’t need the grief right now.”

             
“Sue, you’re right.  I’m sorry.  Look, we both don’t need the grief right now.”

             
They stood there awkwardly in the kitchen for several heartbeats.

             
“Doug?”

             
“Hm-m-m?”

             
“Do you … is there any chance … Damn!  This is hard to say.”  Sue rubbed her forehead with the back of her wrist.

             
Doug was starting to feel really uneasy.  “Then don’t say it, Sue.”

             
“
No
.  No.  I have to.  Is there any chance you could eventually feel anything for me again?”  Sue was looking at him with such longing.

             
Doug reached out and put his hands on her shoulders.  “Sue, I just can’t.”

             
“Is there someone else?”

             
At the thought of Nancy and the way he’d ignored her the past few weeks, Doug cringed inwardly.

             
“I hope so.  I hope I haven’t blown it.  But, Sue, the truth is that even if there wasn’t someone else, there wouldn’t be a ‘you and me’ either.”

             
“Yeah, you’re right.  I know that.  I just had to ask.”  Sue was starting to look embarrassed.

             
“Don’t be upset.  You’re a great gal.  And if I was smarter and if there wasn’t anyone else, it would be a smart move to be with you.  After all, you are the mother of my son.”  Doug hoped that would make Sue feel better.

             
“Saunders, you are a lousy liar.  You were even back when we were partners.  But, I’ve always admired your class.”  Sue looked back to being herself.

             
“Yeah.  Well, your class made up for the both of us.”

             
“Goodnight Doug.”

             
“Goodnight Sue.”

             
“Hey, Doug.”

             
“Yeah?”

             
“Don’t worry.  I won’t come on to you again.”

             
Doug reached out and gave Sue a brotherly hug.  “You’re the best.”

             
“Catch ya later.”  Sue smiled and closed the front door behind him.

             
Doug went home.  He took a shower and tried really hard to get up the courage to call Nancy.  You know, for a cop, there were times he sure could be chickenshit.

             
                                                        …………………

             
For the next several weeks, all of his thoughts were with a divorced mom of two, renting a house just a few blocks away from the station.

             
Late at night, Doug would drive his unit past Nancy’s house and wish that he could just pull into her driveway, go inside and have a cup of coffee with her.  He wanted so badly to tell her he was sorry that he was such a screw up as a dad, and that he was also sorry he’d stopped calling her.  Once he realized that a week had passed and he hadn’t seen Nancy or spoken with her, he started to feel guilty, which made it harder for him to just pick up the phone and call her.