To the Brink (43 page)

Oh God. Oh Jesus.
He was losing it. He'd come to confess to her. And all of a sudden, he was losing it. He felt the sting of tears. Clenched his jaw against the sudden need to bawl like a goddamn baby. His hands were shaking when he dragged them over his face.

And then she was there. Her soft warmth pressed against him. Her sweet, giving arms wrapped around him. He lowered his head to her hair. Breathed in the wonderful, familiar scent of her and held on.

"Christ, Darcy, the first time I saw you ... I knew I'd kill for you if I had to. But I never thought it would happen. I never wanted it to happen. You were the one thing,
the one thing
that was good and sweet and pure and important... and you were never supposed to be touched by that part of my life."

In the middle of this sleepy street that epitomized all America stood for, he was back in Israel.

"When I took that guy out in Tel Aviv ..." His voice broke again. His thoughts scattered. "Afterward. The way you looked at me ... like I was some kind of a monster. It killed me. Ate at me like jungle rot."

She pulled back, made him look at her. "Ethan. I never thought you were a monster. Driven by them, yes. But never a monster. You were my husband. I wanted to help you. I needed to help you. But you always shut me out."

"I know that. I know that now. But back then I told myself I was protecting you. Truth was I couldn't talk about it then." He pushed out a dark laugh. "Hell. I can't talk about it now. It makes me crazy to think about it."

She leaned into him, wrapped her arms tighter around his waist, and held on.

"I still see them. I still... see their faces."

He lowered his face to her hair and held on to the one thing he needed to make him whole.

"I don't want to see them anymore."

Darcy didn't know how long they stayed that way. Several cars went by. She heard a baby crying and a mother calling her kids in to supper.

But she stood there. And she held on to her man. And he was hers now. In ways he'd never been before.

"Come on," she said after she felt his big body steady. "Let's go in the house. I have a feeling there's an extra place set for you at the table."

He rubbed his cheek against her hair before lifting his head. His eyes were damp when they searched hers. "And how do you feel about that?"

She brought her hands to his face. "I feel like it's been way too long since you found your way home."

"Feels a little naughty, doesn't it?" Ethan rolled to his back and took Darcy with him. "Doing what we're doing in your parents' house, in their little girl's bedroom."

Yeah, it felt a little naughty. But it felt nice, too. So had the past few days Darcy and Ethan had spent getting to know each other again. Just lying back, letting it come, letting him talk.

They'd both done some healing. But healing wasn't on her mind at the moment. The way he made her shiver was.

He felt warm and naked and wonderful beneath her. And she wanted him inside of her so badly she ached with it.

"Come on, sweetheart. Work with me," he said with a grin spawned by the devil as he caressed her naked butt, then parted her thighs and started a little deep-tissue massage. "Tell me it feels naughty. Fulfill my fantasy."

She moaned when he touched her. "What it feels is good. Sooo gooood," she said on a deep, blissful sigh when he found a particularly sensitive spot.

"There are definite advantages to single beds." He sat up abruptly and arranged her legs around his waist. "Makes cuddling mandatory."

When he reached between them and lifted her, pushing inside her with just the tip of his penis, she gasped.

"Makes—"

"Ethan," she groaned, cutting him off. "Stop talking. Just... oh God ... just stop talking."

"And do what?" he murmured against her mouth.

"What you're doing."

His chuckle was deep and smug as, still holding her hips between his palms, he lowered her another fraction of an inch. "You mean this?"

"Yesss." It came out as a plea as she tried to initiate more contact.

He wouldn't let her. He kissed her hard and deep, moving his tongue in and out of her mouth like she wanted him moving in and out of her body.

"Pleasseee," she begged. He was killing her.

"There it is." He sounded way too pleased with himself. "I love it when you beg."

"Will you quit joking around and get serious?"

"With pleasure."

He plunged her down onto him, filling her so full, then moving so hard and fast that she came in a blinding rush.

She hadn't even realized she'd screamed until he covered her mouth with his hand. She sagged against him, gasping for breath.

He stroked her back, stroked her hair. "How was that for serious?"

She smiled against his chest. "It'll work."

"And how's this for serious? Marry me."

She lifted her head. His eyes were glittering and dark when he searched hers. All the teasing and playing was gone. "Marry me again."

Darcy felt the love she'd been keeping penned up in the dark all these years dance with the joy of release.

And just as she had the first time he'd asked, she answered without hesitation. "Yes."

He hugged her hard. "I love you. My life is so much better with you in it than out of it."

Her heart nearly burst with love for him. "You just stole my lines."

"I won't blow it this time," he promised. "I'll make it work."

"
We'll
make it work," she said. "And this time I'll fight instead of run."

"This time, I won't give you a reason to do either."

EPILOGUE

WEST PALM
 
BEACH

THREE WEEKS LATER

"Are they always this competitive?"
Darcy watched Ethan's sister and her hunky hubby try to beat the heck out of each other on the croquet court set up in Wes and Susan Garrett's backyard.

Ethan gauged the distance to the next hoop, then made his shot. His ball landed in perfect alignment with the center hoop. "Eve and Mac have been trying to best each other since they met up about a year ago— I believe she was holding a gun on him at the time."

"Don't worry about it." He slung an arm over Darcy's shoulders. "They seem to thrive on it."

Darcy couldn't argue with his take on it as she watched Eve knock Mac's ball off the court, then shoot him a gloating grin and polish her nails on her shoulder in acknowledgment of a job well done.

"That's it," Mac sputtered. "I'm cutting you off. No
sugar
for you for a month, cupcake."

Eve snorted. "Right, McClain. Like you could hold out for a month."

Mac, who could have passed for a Garrett with his tall, dark good looks, spun his spunky blond wife—who was going to look exactly like her mother when she was Susan Garrett's age—into his arms. "Oh, believe me, I can. You're the one who'll be begging. She loves her M&M's," Mac said in an aside, and made Darcy laugh.

"We're talking about M&M's, are we?"

"Might even kill for them," Eve agreed with an evil grin at Mac, who grunted, set her aside, and went in search of his ball.

"Mac seems to fit in just fine with the Garrett clan."

"Water seeks its own level," Ethan agreed. "At the risk of sounding pushy, are you planning to hit that ball or just admire it all afternoon?"

"Your mother told me you all took your croquet seriously."

"It's sacred," he said, deadpan.

Apparently, he was only half-joking. Once a month, rain or shine, the Garretts got together for cutthroat croquet and a backyard barbecue. Their father grilled and grinned and their mother beamed and fussed over her family of rabble-rousers.

"So if the game is sacred, why isn't Nolan worshipping at the altar?"

Ethan's scowl made her smile. "His priorities are a little skewed right now."

Even though he was grousing, when he cut a glance at Nolan, who was hovering around a very pregnant Jillian and catering to her every whim, Darcy could tell that Ethan was totally okay with Nolan's new priorities. Which didn't appear to be nearly as many as Nolan seemed to think there were.

It was fun watching him and Jillian together.

It was fun watching all the Garretts.

"Urn ... Darcy ... At the risk of sounding surly—"

"I know. I know. Hit the ball."

She gave it her all. And the ball dribbled all of three feet forward.

"Oops."

"Your woman may be a looker, but she's pathetic with a mallet," Dallas said, taking his turn behind her.

"Don't pay any attention to him. You just need a little practice. Then you'll whip his whiny ass." Ethan drew her into his arms. His eyes lit with an intimate and smoldering heat. "In the meantime, you're good at so many other things."

"Yeah. And I'm a fast learner."

"Won't get any argument from me on that count."

Darcy felt her cheeks heat. She knew he was thinking about what they'd done in bed last night. He was always inventive, this man she would marry in three months.

They were doing it right this time. A church wedding with all their family and friends in attendance to witness their love for each other.

"You know something else I love about you?" Ethan dropped a kiss on her nose and offered her a Life Saver. "You work cheap."

It had become a standing joke between them. Whenever he was feeling romantic, he dangled a cherry Life Saver in front of her like a carrot.

What could she say? She was a sucker for his candy. And she was a sucker for this beautiful man who had done more than make promises not to let her down this time.

He wasn't letting himself down, either. He was seeing someone. A psychiatrist at the VA center was helping Ethan work through the guilt he'd bottled up for years.

The sessions were hard sometimes. For both Darcy and Ethan. But they were also healing. And Darcy wanted that for him more, even, than she wanted it for them.

"Ha!" Eve's ball sailed through the last set of hoops and hit the stake with a crack. "You're looking at the winner and new
champion
."

She did a little victory dance. "Pay up, chumps. I'll take it in chocolate."

Dallas shook his head. "She's gonna gloat all week."

"Damn straight," Eve crowed.

And while her brothers all grumbled, the love they felt for their sister was apparent.

"I swear, Eve. I never taught you to behave like that."

"Don't worry, Mom." Mac hooked an arm around Eve's neck and tipped her face up to his. "I know how to shut her up."

Then he kissed her, long and loud and noisy. Eve's eyes were a little glazed when he finished with her.

"You kids go on in and wash up now," Susan said, shaking her head. "Those burgers are about done, right, Wes?"