To the Steadfast (7 page)

When I get home,
neither
of my parents’ cars are in
the driveway. Mom never showed up, but it’s okay. Nona and I played poker with
a few other families and caught up on all of her soap operas. As soon as I turn
the car off, my phone beeps. It’s Killian. One word.

Rooftop?

I get out of the car,
head to the backyard and look up. Sure enough, Killian waves from his usual
spot.

“The weather is nice up
here!”

I squint across the
darkness and walk a little closer. I could use some relaxing time. “Okay, just
a minute.” His house is unlocked, and I let myself in and climb out to join
him.

“What are you doing
here on a Monday?” I ask. “Shouldn’t you be at school?”

He looks back at the
sky and smiles. “My school is already out for the summer.”

“No fair.”

He lights up a joint
and passes it my way. “Well, what do we do on a boring Monday night? Wanna
order a pizza?”

“Already ate.”

“Wanna help me film a
movie. I’m certain I’d get more hits if I had a hot girl cameo. We’re doing a
skit called
The Crazy Princess
and currently I play the princess.”

As much as being a
princess appeals to me, Killian will make a prettier one. “You have like
millions of views already,” I point out.

He tilts his head to
the side and gives a boastful yet playful smile. “I do, don’t I?”

“Yup.”

He quiets. “So you’re
sleeping with Cromwell, huh?”

He doesn’t know I was a
virgin before. We never really talk about sex together. “Something like that.
What? You gonna warn me, too?” I don’t know why I’m getting so defensive. Guess
I’m sick of the warnings.

“Nah, I’m certain
you’ve gotten enough of that. What I wanna know is, why are you still taking
this risk?”

“Risk?”

“Risking your heart.”

I wish I could explain
it to him, but I can’t. “I don’t know. I suppose I’ve been waiting for my
chance for so long I can’t let the opportunity pass me by. I’ve liked him since
grade school.”

“I can’t say I blame
you then. For me, I wouldn’t pass up the opportunity to sleep with that one
actress, Ginger Teague. You can’t have regrets in life.”

“Are you gonna say I
told you so when he breaks my heart?” I try and find a comfortable place on the
roof, but everything feels hard, even the subject.

Killian stretches out
his arms and legs against the roof, taking his time before answering. “Nah,
I’ll just be here to pick up the pieces.”

“Aww…my rooftop hero.”
I put my hands against my heart like a swoony cartoon character.

“Then… I’ll say I told
you so.”

I punch his forearm.
“What about you? Anyone special?”

“No, I mean there is
someone, more of a hope for someone, but she isn’t ready for me yet.”

“What did we just say
about regrets?” I scold.

 He pulls off his ball
cap, letting his brown hair fall in his eyes. “I know. I know. Let’s talk about
something else. This subject is a little odd.”

“Agreed. Are we
celebrating anything in particular?”

He points to the
subdivision. “I think they just broke ground on that lot to the far left.”

“Oooh…my turn. My
turn!”

We don’t have drinks
this time so instead I raise my hand for a majestic fist bump. I’m not sure
what to wish/salute to this time. Over the weeks, we’ve gone through
everything. Well, almost everything.

“To love,” I say,
knocking my knuckles against his.

“To infatuation,” he
corrects, fist bumping me again.

“No, to the steadfast.”

Our eyes connect. Both
of us realizing how cruel life can be, how tempting it is to get swept away in
the people that pay attention to us.

“So…” I want to lighten
the mood, but am not sure how to do it.

He points to the
highway where a billboard stands. “You ever seen the Powerball sign change
numbers?”

I stare at the
billboard that holds the current amount of the weekly lottery jackpot. It’s far
enough away that I can barely read the numbers, but I do know it’s high.

“Um…no. Does someone
change it every week?”

“Surely not, surely
it’s electronic.”

“I don’t know, it
doesn’t
look
digital. It kind of looks like the old wall on
Wheel of
Fortune.
We could turn the numbers.”

He gives me a cheesy
grin and puts his hands in the air. “Maybe we should watch the changing of the
lottery sign.”

I swat at a bug that
has landed on my arm before laughing at my friend. “That sounds so redneck.”

“Really? Cause I
propose we sit up here in our cheap lawn chairs and drink watered down beer.”

“Ugh, Killian. You’re
bad, you know that?”

“So it’s a date? Meet
me here at ten o’clock on Wednesday night.”

I nod and we make the
plans to do something stupid before I have to go back to my room and back to
the real life.

I look for Mischa
at
school on Tuesday, but he
doesn’t show. He isn’t at home when I stop by to pick up Violet for school.
Neither is he home when I drop her off. Wednesday is the same thing. He’s
fallen off the face of the earth, again. I can’t understand it. He acts like he
wants to be with me, but doesn’t follow through?

Last period on
Wednesday drags on. When the bell rings, I stand to leave but Mr. Smith stops
me.

“Cody, can we talk?”

I approach his desk,
positive he’s going to hound me about my grades.

“I’ve noticed a
dramatic drop in your grades this semester. Is there something I can do to help
you bring your grade up?”

I fiddle with the
fringe on the bottom of my shirt. “Um…”

“I only say this
because you’ve been an honors student for the past three years and after having
you in  Biology, I figured chemistry would be a breeze.”

“I’ve been distracted,”
I explain. Distracted with parties, late nights, and boys.

“Distracted is an
understatement. You’re failing and with only two weeks left of school I don’t
know if you can bring it up. Even an A on the final will only bring you to a
low C.”

“Last time I checked, a
C is still passing.”

“What happened to your
dream of going to medical school? Didn’t you want to follow in your father’s
footsteps? I remember him talking about that at the hospital benefit last
year.”

He has it all wrong. I
couldn’t care less what my father does, but my father keeps telling people I’m
going to medical school. They wrote a column on our family in a magazine last
year, and I was quoted as wanting to change lives with him by my side. I’m
following in my grandmother’s footsteps and becoming a nurse. She’s the person
who made a difference. My father just makes a paycheck.

“I don’t know. It just
doesn’t seem as important right now.”

“Boys may seem
important right now, but your grades need to take precedence. I’m going to have
to put you on academic probation for the rest of the semester. You know what
that means.”

“I do.” Required
afterschool tutoring, the same tutoring I used to volunteer for. I turn around,
my face a bright shade of pink. School used to feel so important, but somehow
I’ve let all the important things slip away.

Violet  is waiting for
me after class.

“What did he want?” she
asks.

“I’m on probation. I’m
not passing chemistry.”

“That really sucks.
What are you gonna do?”

“Study.” I throw my
books in my locker and lean against it. All the students are buzzing about prom
on Friday. It’s a big deal for the juniors, but I haven’t given it a second
thought. It may possibly be because I have no date. No one asked me, big
surprise. I have a date with a pint of ice cream and a cheesy romantic comedy.

“Are you going to
prom?” I ask Violet.

“You know how I feel
about those things. It’s another way to have a popularity contest.  Why? Are
you wanting to go?”

I shrug. “Maybe. No one
really asked me. Anyway, I better at least try and bring my grades up before
finals. I’m gonna go to the library and study away from all the distractions.”

“See you,” she calls
out.

 I head for the public
library across the street and find a seat in the corner. I get halfway through
my study guide before someone taps me on the shoulder. I look up and see
Killian grinning down at me.

“Imagine seeing you
here.” He sits down beside me and scoots his chair in close.

“Studying for my
finals. What are you doing here?”

“Some of the guys want
to do a funny skit based on
Space Odyssey: 2001
, but I’ve never seen it.
Figured I’d watch the movie. The public library is the only place that has it.”
He holds up a DVD. “Wanna watch it with me?”

“Space Odyssey, sounds
fun,” I say sarcastically. “No thanks.” I tuck my hair behind my ear and hunch
over my books.

“You seem a little
bummed about something. What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” I begin
erasing a formula that I messed up on.

He covers the front of
my books with his hand, causing me to look up at him. “I know you better than
that. What’s wrong?”

“Prom is this weekend.”

“So? You don’t take me
as the type of girl who cares about those types of things.”

“I don’t, but it looks
fun.”

“Then go.”

“Violet and everyone
else are only going to the after party. Plus I don’t have a date.”

“I’ll be your date.”

He says it so casually
that I can’t help but laugh. “Really, you don’t have to do that.”

“It’s okay. My dad is
going to be working in Washington for the next week. My mom is going with him,
so I’ll be home with the house all to myself.”

I should say no. I
don’t need him to take me on some pity date because no one wanted to ask me,
but I really want to go. I didn’t realize how much until just now. It might be
fun to do something to get my mind off Mischa.

“Okay, let’s do it.”

He tosses the DVD back
and forth between his hands. “I feel like I’m in a cheesy rom-com. I’ve just
asked my friend to prom. Are our parents going to be parading us around with
pictures?”

I make a circle with my
lips and mouth ‘okay’ before speaking.“Don’t have to worry about that. Your dad
scares the crap out of me.”

“You and me both. So
I’ll pick you up Friday night at six? We can eat first.”

“Sounds good.”

After he leaves, I try
and finish my study guide, but I can’t seem to focus. I pack up my backpack and
head home.

I’m surprised to find
my mom at home when I get there. She ushers me to the stairs the second I walk
in.

“Where have you been?
We have dinner guests coming any minute and you need to get ready.”

“Who’s coming?”

“The Carmikes from next
door, and I need you to be on your best behavior. You just might be able to get
Senator Carmike to write you a letter of recommendation for college.”

“Joy!” I moan. I take
my time going upstairs, taking delight in my mother’s huffs about how slow I’m
going.

In no mood to hear any
more of her nitpicking, I pick out the most conservative dress I own and pull
my hair up into a bun. I take my time applying my makeup until the doorbell
rings.

I put on a fake smile
and walk downstairs.

“Oh, Dakota! Come say
hi to our neighbors.”

I walk over to Jim
Carmike and hold out my hand. “Good evening, Senator. How are you?”

“Doing well. How’s
school?”

“Just fine.” I turn to
Mrs. Carmike, whom I’ve never met, but have seen from afar, and give her a fake
grin. She looks over me with distaste before taking a sip of the martini in her
hand.

“I need to sit,” she
mumbles before scurrying off.

“Dakota does
afterschool tutoring,” my mom announces. I don’t have the heart to tell her I
dropped out of the program months ago.

I open my mouth to say
something lame when the doorbell rings again. “I’ll just get that,” I say, glad
to get away from them.

I walk to the door and
pull it open to see Killian standing there in a button-down shirt and slacks.

“Thank God!” I exclaim,
grabbing him and pulling him into the house. “I can’t be left alone with them
for another moment, and what is with your mom?”

“She’s in a bad mood.
Correction, she’s in a never-ending bad mood.”

“Don’t you dare ditch
me! My mom is trying to get your dad to write a letter of recommendation.”

“Don’t worry. I’ll do
anything for food. Do you even want a letter from him?”

“I guess it will make
my dad happy.”

Killian shrugs. “Don’t
worry about it. I’m sure he’ll do it. Wanna smoke a joint before we eat?” He
whips a joint out of his pocket and waves it in front of my face.

My eyes light up. This
will piss my mom off. “We’ll be back, Mom! Just going to show Killian our
garden.”

Before she can answer,
I whisk Killian through the house toward our backyard. Behind the pool is my old
playhouse. It’s only one room and built to represent a miniature castle. I open
the front door and bend down so I can walk inside. I’d begged my dad for a
whole year before he had the house built for me. I’d even had it furnished with
a mini fridge and everything. I still come out here sometimes.

Killian gives a low
whistle as he sits down in one of the miniature chairs. “Nice place you got
here.”

“It’s where I take all
the guys,” I say with a wave of my hand.

He lights the joint and
passes it my way. “So, where’s your dad?”

“Who knows? Working?” I
inhale and hold it slowly as I think about how little my dad has been around.
Even more so than usual.

“About this prom thing.
I hope I didn’t put too much pressure on your earlier.”

“No! No, I want to go.”

“Good. I can’t believe
no one asked you.”

“Believe it.”

He blows the cherry out
of the end of the joint and puts it back in his pocket. “How many of these
dinner parties are you forced to bullshit through every month?”

“One, two, sometimes
more.”

“Then,” he leans in,
eyes sparkling with amusement. “Let’s make this the worst dinner party in the
universe and we won’t have to sit through another one of these things again.
Our parents will be so embarrassed they’ll never take us out again.”

“You’re on.” We climb
out of the playhouse and walk back inside.

 Before we enter the
dining room, Killian ruffles up my hair and untucks his shirt. “Let’s give them
something to worry about, huh?”

“You are bad,” I hiss,
hiding a smirk.

“There you are!” my
mother sings out, walking over to grab my arm. She sniffs a few times. “You
smell like marijuana.”

“No, Mom. It’s Chanel
no 5.” I wave my hand at her and laugh.

She glares at me before
turning to Killian. “Killian, dear. Your mother went home. She was feeling
ill.”

“Wonderful.” He slaps
his hands together and rubs them back and forth. “Now what have you cooked up
for us, Mrs. Lombardi?” He walks further into the room where his father is
already seated, waiting.

“Mother doesn’t cook,”
I announce. “Mother orders food.”

She giggles nervously.
“Normally I cook, but tonight I wanted Cook to prepare something special. Veal.”

I make a gagging noise
and Killian joins in.

“Mrs. Lombardi, when
did you feel it was all right to serve houseguests baby cow?”

“It’s a delicacy,” she
says with a look of pure shock on her face.

The Senator clears his
throat and cuts in. “So, Dakota. Your Mother tells me you are applying to
Columbia next year?”

I sit down across from
Killian’s father and unfold my napkin. “That’s what I’m being told.”

That remark earns
another glare from my mother so I go on. “You know, anything to make sure I’m a
thousand miles away.”

One of the servers
hired for tonight sets a salad in front of me.

“Well. I’d be happy to
write you a letter providing your grades are in order.”

“I’m failing chemistry,
but other than that, I’m in tip-top shape.” I hold an arm out and flex my
practically nonexistent muscle.

“She’s kidding,” my
mother says.

The senator takes a
bite of his food. “Killian tells me he’s taking you to prom.”

My mother looks up from
her plate. “Haven’t you already graduated, Killian?”

“Yes, but Cody didn’t
have a date so I offered my services.”

The Senator leans
forward with his wine glass in hand to stare the two of us down. “She’s
sixteen—”