Today & Tomorrow (7 page)

Then he smiled.

“You’re more beautiful than ever when you come,” he said.

That was the most romantic thing she’d ever heard. It might even have been better than hearing ‘I love you.’ Because it was sincere.

She smiled and trailed her hand down his arm, easing over the curves of muscle.. “I want to come again. With you inside me.”

Grinning, he pushed off the bed and opened his belt. “Your wish is my command.”

Nolan got rid of his boots and clothes as quickly as he could, pausing to grab a condom out of his wallet. He only had two. If he’d known he was going to spend the night with her, he’d have brought more.

He’d just have to go out and restock.

Analisa lay transverse on the bed, her chest still heaving lightly as she recovered from the exertion of her orgasm. As he undressed, she watched, her light eyes sharp and eager. When she saw his cock, her eyebrows went up, and he couldn’t resist a grin. He liked that she was impressed.

He was impressed, too. She was absolutely beautiful. So thin and delicate that he had trouble believing he wouldn’t break her, the lines of her ribs, hips, collarbones showing under that fair, freckled skin. Her small, pert tits were topped with rosy little nipples that turned hard and dark at his touch. Her pussy was beautiful, too—firm and smooth, those clear crystals just below a tidy triangle of golden hair. And so small. When he’d slid a finger into her, just one, she’d felt almost impassably tight. He would need to go slowly.

He dropped his wallet on his jeans, the chain rattling as it fell. Before he could tear open the condom packet, she said, “Wait.”

Maybe she was changing her mind. He’d be disappointed—crushed, even—but he wouldn’t push. “It’s okay. We don’t have to.”

“No, that’s not it.” She rose up onto her elbows, and her hair slid over shoulders and swung down her back. “Can we not use that?”

“What? No. I don’t want to risk anything.”

“I’ve never had sex, and you can’t catch cancer. You’re safe. And it doesn’t matter if you have anything.”

Sometimes the matter-of-fact way she talked about her nearing death really slapped him. “I don’t. But that’s not what I mean. Can you get pregnant?” He didn’t know if the cancer, or the treatment, would have affected that.

“I guess so. Would that be a bad thing?”

“Uh, yeah. Ani, what are you saying?” He sat next to her, on the side of the bed, and his cock, not at all bothered about their conversation, stuck out like a flagpole. “I don’t understand.”

“I’m never gonna get to be a mom. That’s on my list, but it’s never going to happen. If I got pregnant, I’d at least get to sort of be one for a little while. I could count that.”

“And then the baby would die with you.” He hated to say such a thing, so baldly true, and he hated the way she winced when he said it, but he thought she was doing what she’d done at the bar. Not thinking past the thing she wanted: her list. Her life. Her death. Forgetting that there were consequences, even if she wouldn’t be around to face them. “I can’t, Ani.”

Her arms slid out from under her, and she dropped back to the bed. “Fuck. I suck. I’m sorry.” She put her hands over her face.

He turned and laid his hand on her belly, which sank far below her ribs and hipbones. “It’s okay. You don’t suck.”

Under her hands, she said, “I do. I’m a selfish asshole. I get it if you want to go.”

“I don’t. I want to stay and…love you.”

His hesitation in saying those two words had nothing to do with dishonesty. He’d hesitated because he’d realized they were true. He’d been wrong earlier. He did love her, and he was just at that moment understanding the truth of it. And the fear of it.

Her hands dropped from her face. “I told you you didn’t need to say that.”

“I know. I wanted to.”

She smiled and laid a hand over his on her belly. “Thank you.”

Bending down to kiss her, he murmured, “You still in the mood?” and brushed his lips over hers.

“Oh, yes,” she breathed and sucked on his bottom lip. For someone who professed to have had one previous kissing experience, and that a bad one, she was natural.

He sat back and got the condom on, feeling a little pang as he thought of what she’d wanted. To be a mom. He thought she would have made a good one someday, if she’d had the chance.

Then he shook off that melancholy and moved on top of her. “You let me know if you want anything to change, okay?”

Biting her lower lip, staring down between them at his cock, she nodded. He spread her legs wide, settled between them, and slid a hand under her ass, lifting her up a little. “Guide me in.”

Her eyes came up to his, and he nodded his encouragement.

She wrapped a hand around him, moving shyly. When he felt the soft folds of her entrance against his tip, he took over, pushing in an inch or two. She gasped, and he stopped.

“Ani?”

“It feels…full. But it doesn’t hurt. It’s good.”

He pushed a little farther, and she moaned, and her hand left his cock and hooked on his arm.

“Look at me.”

She did, her eyes wide.

“Stay with me, okay?” When she nodded, he pushed again. Fucking hell, she was so tight it was almost uncomfortable. Almost. He began to rock, pulling out a little, then back in, each time a little deeper, going slow and steady, letting her trust his rhythm.

She kept her eyes open and locked on his, her brow furrowing every now and then as he went deeper, and deeper, and sweet hell, it was good. After what seemed like a millennium, he was fully sheathed in her, and her pussy twitched around him. She made a face like she was uncomfortable and squirmed under him.

“Ani?”

“It pinches…or something. I’m not sure.” Her voice showed some strain.

“You want me out?” God, he hoped not. He was fairly choking on his need.

“No. I just…”

He reached down and grabbed her thigh, pulling it up to his hip. They both gasped at the change in the way he was seated inside her. “Better?”

She nodded, and he began to thrust, moving slowly, so slowly he felt every millimeter of her sliding against him. He dug down deep into his will and settled in. He was going to hold out for as long as she needed him to.

After a couple of minutes, her body relaxed, and she began to move with him. A minute or so more, and she started to forget to keep her eyes on his. They fluttered closed, and her mouth dropped open. She moaned and then remembered to open her eyes. He smiled and sped up.

Shifting his weight to one arm, he put his free hand on one of her tits and pulled gently on her nipple. She gasped and bucked—and then she turned a look on him that was pure surprise.

“Oh! Oh!” she cried. He could feel the change in her body. Discomfort was gone, and now she was wide open for an orgasm. His passage in and out of her was made easier as her juices flowed.

She rode the crest for a long time, just on the edge of coming. Nolan’s resolve to hold off his own finish began to fray. She felt so goddamn good. He plucked at her tit. He bent down and kissed her, matching the movement of his tongue to the rhythm of his body, and she moaned and writhed, but she didn’t come.

As desperation began to creep into his limbs, he had an idea, and he pulled gently out. She gasped and blinked in surprise. “What?”

“Roll over, Ani.” His voice sounded hoarse and strained.

Again she asked, “What?”

“Roll over. Onto your belly.” He put his hand around her hip and pulled, leading her in what he wanted. She frowned. “It’s okay. Trust me.”

She rolled, lying prone, her arms bent at her sides so that her palms were flat on the bed, on either side of her head. With his hands under her arms, he moved her farther onto the bed, then straddled her legs, sliding a hand under her to lift her hips up. He guided himself back into her and then laid her flat again on the mattress. Fuck. He was going to have to come soon, or his cock would explode.

“Oh—wow. Nolan, wow,” she gasped.

“I know. It’s good this way, huh?”

She nodded.

Propped on his hands, he rocked. In this position, he touched inside her in a different way, and she began to overtop her crest nearly instantly. Her head was turned sideways on the bed, and she started to hum in an undulating rhythm, her tone growing louder and more emphatic every time he pushed deep. Her hum became an open
oh
, and he sped up.

Without changing their rhythm, he bent down and kissed her new tattoo, his hand sliding under hers as his head came down. She wove her fingers with his, and he closed his fist, capturing her hand. Something about that simple, innocent touch excited him to his core.

Maybe she’d felt it, too—she came right then, crying out and clamping hard around him as he continued his thrusts. No longer needing to hold back, he relinquished control and sped up, moving fast and hard until his finish hit him like a punch to the gut. He groaned, his teeth clenched and his toes curled, locked in the jaws of ecstasy until it was done with him and let him go in a rush. He dropped, barely catching himself on his elbows before he’d landed his full weight on Analisa’s frail frame.

He kissed her pretty, dappled shoulder. “Ani? Are you okay?”

Her face was sort of squished into the cover, but she giggled. “God, yes. That was
awesome
! I want to do that more. Like a lot more.”

He pulled carefully out and then dropped on his back at her side. “You’re on. I need a minute. And I’m gonna need to make a condom run if we’re keeping at it all night. I’ve only got one left.”

She rose up and scooted toward him, and he moved his arm to bring her close. “If you have to make a run, could you…maybe…if you don’t think it’s stupid…” She stopped.

He lifted his head and looked at her, trying to read her eyes. “What is it?”

“Do you know how to get, like, mushrooms or something? Or LSD? Or maybe Ecstasy?”

“Is this another thing on your list?” He brushed her hair back from her face.

“Maybe.”

“They don’t stock psychedelics next to the condoms at the Rite-Aid, Ani.”

“Obviously. I just thought, you know…maybe you knew how to get some.”

“Because I’m a biker?”

“Well, yeah. Don’t you?”

Of course he did. That kind of stuff wasn’t his scene, though. He’d tried it all. He tended to go dark with LSD and ‘shrooms. And he didn’t like the weird false euphoria of E—or the violent comedown. “You haven’t tried any of that?”

“Uh-uh. That’s why it’s on my list.”

He set her back and sat up, pulling the condom off his semi-soft cock. As he tied the knot in it, he said, “I don’t like that shit. E makes you really happy for a few hours, but then the headache and depression sucks hard afterward. LSD—I don’t know anybody out here I’d trust, and if the mix is weird, there’s no telling what kind of trip you’ll take. I’ve done it a couple of times even with stuff I trusted, and I get sort of…tormented by my head. I won’t do either of those.”

“’Shrooms, then? Those are natural, right?”

“Yeah, sure. Doesn’t mean you can’t have a bad trip, though. With what you’re going through, I don’t know. My experience is that shit like that doesn’t make you forget what’s fucked up in your life. It makes you live it in Sensurround, with Dr. Seuss and Pennywise the Clown at the controls. Why don’t we just get drunk? Or stoned?”

“But that’s the point—I’ve done that before. I’ve never tripped. If it’s one of my stupid things, then I get it. I’m starting to see that I have a lot of really stupid shit on my secret list.”

Looking around her bedroom—which was huge and colorful and seemed just like the room she’d have—he found a white wicker wastebasket. He tossed the condom and made his two points. Having used those seconds to consider her request, he turned back to her.  “You let me control the dose. Just a little bit and no more. If you don’t trip, that’s just your tough luck.”