Together We Heal (30 page)

“Hey,” he said back. I grabbed his arm and pulled him so he was in a sitting position and scooted so my back was against the wall. He mirrored me and we sat shoulder-to-shoulder.

“Huh,” he said, noticing what was on the television, “I haven’t watched this show in ages.” Phew. Yay for the distraction.

By the time the pizza came, Max was laughing at the antics of the Griffin family and the mood in the room was a hell of a lot better.

Long. Ass. Day.

I DIDN’T SLEEP
well that night. I couldn’t stop picturing my mother’s face as I walked out the door and shut it behind me. The look that said I’d broken her heart and even if somehow we mended our relationship, things would never be the same. I’d never be able to undo that look.

Usually when Trish couldn’t sleep, she would write in her journal. It had worked for her, so I got up and found some notebook paper and started writing things out, using the glow from my phone as a light. Trish was totally out, which was good. I didn’t know what I’d say to her if she woke up and caught me. Not that I was doing anything wrong, but… I just didn’t want to talk about it.

THE NEXT WEEK
was filled with more sleepless nights and writing. Somehow Trish didn’t catch me, and the pages stayed under the mattress where I shoved them. I couldn’t say it helped, exactly, but I found myself writing things I had never really thought of before. Or, never consciously thought of before. Things that lurked at the back of my mind that I didn’t acknowledge.

Trish noticed I hadn’t been sleeping, but when I told her to drop it, she did. I was sure she felt guilty for pushing me to see my parents, even though I told her not to.

Finals were in two weeks, but I had a hard time getting my brain to focus. Like it or not, summer was coming and I was going to have to go home and confront my parents again.

I couldn’t do it. I just couldn’t do it. The deadline for signing up for summer classes and housing had come and gone, but I still went to the housing office to see if there was anything I could do.

I was given a list of classes that were still available as well as their cost. Between that and housing and then having to pay for next year, there was absolutely no way to swing it.

Trish found me when I was crunching the numbers and I struggled to hide the papers, but she saw them.

“What are you doing?” she asked, hopping up on my desk and picking up one of the papers.

“Nothing,” I said, reaching for it, but it was too late.

“Hey, are you thinking about doing a summer semester?” I hadn’t said anything about it to her and now I felt like shit. Why had I hidden it from her? She was going to be staying with Lottie and Zan this summer.

“I was, but I can’t afford it.” A few weeks ago, I thought it would be fine. My parents didn’t live
that
far from school and Trish could drive up and I figured Zan and Lottie wouldn’t mind if I crashed with Trish for a night or two. It was going to be fine.

That was stupidly naïve of me. There was no way I could stay away from her this summer. No way I could go back to that house without her. It would be my personal hell.

She chewed on her lip as if she was making some kind of decision.

“Then let’s get an apartment.” I nearly tipped over and fell off my chair.

“Are you serious?” Those were just about some of the last words I thought she would ever say. For fuck’s sake, she just told me she loved me yesterday.

She nodded.

“Yeah, why not? I mean, we’ve pretty much been living together already. We don’t spend a night apart. And I would feel weird crashing with Lottie and Zan. I just have these nightmares about hearing them having sex.” She made a face and swung her legs so they bounced against the desk.

“If we pool our money, we could totally get something. Right near everyone else too, I bet.” Stryker’s apartment building was in a complex, with other identical buildings right near it. One of those was bound to have an empty place, right?

No, no I was getting carried away. We couldn’t do this.

Could we?

“You’re being awfully… casual about this. I mean, for a girl who had to say ‘I love you’ in stages,” I said. She just rolled her eyes and kept swinging her legs.

“Yeah, well, I’ve decided that my past and my own fears have stopped me from doing a lot of things in life and it’s time that I let myself not be a prisoner anymore. You want to be with me, I want to be with you and the rest is just logistics. We’ll figure it out.” Her smile was so sweet and optimistic that it made my heart thump an extra beat.

I leaned back in my chair and took her feet into my lap.

“Are you absolutely sure you want to do this?” It sounded too good to be true.

“Yeah,” she said, using one of her feet to stroke me through my pants. “Should we seal the deal?” One of her eyebrows quirked up and I got up and swept the papers off my desk. It made her throw her head back and laugh.

“I’ve always loved it when guys in movies did that,” she said.

“Then you’re probably going to love this next part as well,” I said, putting my hands on her shoulders and bending her back.

“I think I like where this is going,” she said as I got her arranged the way I wanted and then leaned between her legs.

Propping herself up on her elbows, she looked down at me.

“Oh yeah, I definitely like this.”

AFTER WE “SEALED”
our deal with a few orgasms, I made him go online to look at places. Then we sat down and made a budget. It felt so adult that I was waiting for an actual adult to walk in and tell us that we weren’t allowed to do be doing this.

“I can’t believe this is happening,” Max kept saying. He was so happy, he was downright giddy and it was rubbing off on me.

“Me neither. And just in time for my birthday.” It was in a few days and Max hadn’t asked me more about gifts, but I knew he was planning something, even with all the crap that had been happening.

I didn’t ask him what he was going to tell his parents. I mean, he’d have to tell them that he wasn’t coming home this summer. That was definitely not going to go over well, but I completely understood his need to be away from them. He’d gone from being so happy to looking like his soul was being crushed when he walked through the door.

“Well, if the apartment thing doesn’t work out, we can always live in my car,” he said.

I nodded. “It’s good to have options.”

“My parents are going to be pissed,” he said, holding one of my hands between two of his and studying it.

“Yeah. But they’re going to be pissed at you for being in school, so…” A flash of pain crossed his face.

“Hey,” I said. “What size bed should we get? Queen or King?” It was my attempt to change the subject to something nicer.

He thought about it.

“King, I think. Go big or go home.”

“I concur.”

WE MADE MORE
apartment plans and we told the crew about it. Of course they were nothing but supportive, as usual. I really did have the best friends ever.

“Oh my God, this is so exciting! I wish we could all live in the same building or something so it could be like
Friends
,” Lottie said.

“Yes, except that was a show, not real life. Those people never worked and they had fabulous apartments in Manhattan. Totally fake,” Will said, which ignited a debate that derailed everything for a little while.

“You know there’s a place that’s going to be available next door. The guys are graduating so they’re moving out right after,” Stryker said.

“Yeah? Do you think you could talk to the landlord and get us an application?” Max asked. It wouldn’t hurt to have Stryker and Lottie and Zan vouch for us. They were all model tenants and the landlord loved them. We were basically in. Just had to get the money together for the security deposit and first month’s rent. Oh, and then there was furniture, but with everyone moving out, we could probably get a ton of stuff for basically free.

“For my little sister? Sure,” Stryker said and I pretended to punch him in the stomach.

“This is so wonderful. Everyone moving in together,” Simon said, his arms around Brady.

“What about you guys?” I asked. Simon and Brady shared a look that I didn’t understand.

“We’re still going to dorm it next year,” Simon said and Brady looked away and his body was totally stiff. Yup, there was definitely a story there.

“Why don’t you guys sign up to be roommates? Then you wouldn’t have to worry about banging and waking up your roommate. Because you’d be banging your roommate,” Lottie said, laughing.

Simon rolled his eyes.

“Whatever. So, do you guys need any furniture?” he said, turning his attention to Max and me. Well. I’d never seen Simon shut down a conversation that quick.

“I don’t know. I think we’d need to figure out where we’re going to be and what we have room for,” Max answered for both of us.

“Well, if you need anything. TV stand, kitchen island, cabinets, whatever. Just let me know,” Simon said. God, he was probably going to sneak in and do it anyway. That was definitely something he’d do. Like a Secret Home Makeover That You Didn’t Ask For. That would definitely be good show.

“Great, thanks. We’ll let you know,” Max said. Lottie raised her voice and asked what everyone was going to do to celebrate the end of finals and that spawned a whole other conversation.