Torch (Take It Off) (21 page)

“You wanna know what I think?”

I sat up and turned, tucking my knees into my chest and fitting my body between his thighs. “Tell me.”

“I think the real loss is his. Whoever he is. Anyone who passes up the chance to have their life touched by you is an idiot. And I never had the chance to meet your mother, but I know she was amazing because she raised you.”

I rested my chin atop my knees and smiled. “You make it sound so easy.”

He shrugged. “From where I’m sitting, it seems that way.”

“Would you take the money?”

He pursed his lips, then grinned. “Probably.”

“Money changes people. It changes things.”

“You’re not one for change, are you?”

I shook my head. “No. I like stability. I like to know what to expect.”

“Seems like you always expect the worst out of people,” Holt said, his voice sounding very wise.

I wanted to deny it. But I couldn’t because it was true.

“Ever wonder what would happen if you expected something good out of someone?” The wind blew as he spoke, and instead of carrying his words away, it brought them closer, wrapping them around my head. Around my heart.

“Not until recently.”

He moved quickly, shooting forward and grasping me, tumbling us backward so I was lying across his chest and he was lying in the sand.

Most of my body was across his, with the bottom part of my legs and feet still in the sand between his legs. I rested my arms on his chest and leaned down, initiating a deep and thrusting kiss. His hand wrapped around the back of my head, holding it in place, keeping me from breaking the kiss. Like I would.

His tongue was incredible, the way it seemed to find all the secret spots inside my mouth that unlocked my desire like some ancient, magical key. Our tongues twisted so fiercely together, so deeply into the each other’s mouths, I had trouble knowing where one stopped and the other began. One of my hands gripped a fistful of his T-shirt and the other found the hem and slid up between the fabric and his skin.

He was warm, the kind of warm that made my toes curl in the sand, the kind of warm that an electric blanket radiated in the dead of winter and made you reluctant to crawl out of bed. I snuggled in a little closer, wiggling against him, and a groan erupted from the back of his throat.

His hand left the back of my head and cupped my butt, pressing me ever farther against him, grinding his throbbing erection against the flimsy fabric of my dress.

I wiggled some more, liking the way it felt to rub up against him. And then the cool night air was brushing against my upper thighs, gliding against skin that had previously been covered. Holt was slipping my dress up around my hips and guiding my legs so I straddled his lap, the hard ridge in his jeans pressed firmly against my dampening panties.

I looked down at him, my hair blowing over my shoulders and hiding some of my face. I felt like there was a giant bubbling volcano inside me and it was on the verge of erupting with insanely hot lava.

He caressed the inside of my thigh with his hand, whispering to me about how silky smooth my skin felt against his. And then his hands began to move higher, sliding up beneath my dress all the way up to cup my breast, yanking down the soft cups of my bra and pinching my nipple lightly, rolling it between his fingers.

I cried out. The sensation was incredible as I began to rock my hips against him.

His other hand joined the one already up my dress and he fondled me, pinching and teasing until I thought I might go mad with need. I felt like I was going up a hill, going up and up and up and all I wanted to see was the crest—the peak of the hill—so I could go plunging right back down.

His hands drifted away from my breasts and I leaned down to kiss him, but he gently pushed me back up. His fingers found the edges of my panties, slipping inside and into the wet and ready folds.

“Holt,” I whispered, my voice shaky and weak.

“Come for me, sweetness,” he purred as his fingers began to move, sliding in and out, up and down. I bit down on my lip and grasped ahold of his biceps.

The tension in my body was mounting and I began to move faster, more frantic against his hand. He plunged two fingers inside me and crooked them forward, like he was motioning for me across a room. And then his free hand found the little swollen bud at my center and stroked it gently.

I erupted. My body convulsed violently atop him. I threw my head back and moaned, my eyes going wide as I stared up at the star-splattered sky. My body kept twitching as waves of pleasure overcame me again and again until finally my body quieted into a gentle all-over trembling.

Holt pulled his hands away and reached for me, pulling me down into his arms where I let out a huge contented sigh.

The sound of the waves came back to my ears; the feeling of the sand on my toes had my eyes springing wide. “Oh my gosh!” I whispered, frantic, whipping my head up and looking around. “We just did that in public!”

He chuckled. “No one else is here.”

“But what if there was?”

“Then they’re thinking what a lucky bastard I am right about now.”

I laughed and collapsed against his chest once more. The inside of my panties was so wet it was kind of uncomfortable, so I shifted and he moaned.

My eyes snapped up to his face. I might have just had an earth shattering orgasm, but he was still rock hard.

I slid my hand over the front of his jeans.

He rolled quickly, pinning me into the sand and pressing a kiss to my lips. But then he jumped up and reached down to pull me along with him. “Come on,” he said.

He took off in a jog, still holding my hand, so I started to jog too. We ran toward and old pier that had partly fallen into the sea. There were no longer any lights lining it or a little shop at the end. It was just a dark, imposing structure that jutted out into the middle of the salty sea where it then disappeared.

Holt led me beneath it, far up into the sand. It provided a wealth of cover, blocking out the stars and the ocean breeze. He grabbed me by the waist and spun me around, planting his lips on mine in a kiss so hungry I felt the stirring of brand-new desire.

I reached for his pants, pulling them open and reaching inside. I wrapped my hand around him, tightening my grip, squeezing him through the fabric of his boxers.

“I want you, Katie. I want you so fucking bad right now.”

I slid my hand beneath the waistband of the boxers, cupping the proof of his words. “I’m yours.”

I lay down in the sand, pulling my dress up around my waist as he reached into his back pocket and pulled out a condom. I watched as he rolled it down the incredible length of his hardness and then came forward, settling between my legs. Achingly slow, he pulled my panties down, leaving them hooked around one of my ankles. He pressed a soft kiss to the inside of my thigh, and then slid up my body so his elbows rested on either side of my head.

As he brushed the hair away from my face, he kissed me softly, slowly, as if he had all the time in the world and the blood wasn’t pounding through his veins like he was running a marathon.

But I could feel his heart beating. It thumped so rapidly against my chest that I smiled.

As he kissed me, he probed the entrance to my body, slipping inside easily. I felt the eyes roll back in my head as my lids drifted closed and my head rolled to the side.

He moved against me. I answered each one of his thrusts with my own until I lifted my legs and wrapped them around his waist. He hugged me tight, pulling me against him as he penetrated me over and over so deeply that my muscles clenched.

His breathing became more labored, and I knew he was about to come when he pushed up onto his arm and reached down between us, once again finding the swollen bud. He ground his fingers against it and my back arched in surprise as another orgasm flowed through me. This one wasn’t as powerful as the last, like the volcano already erupted and now the warm lava was coating everything inside me.

He moaned and his own release burst forward.

Instead of rolling off me, he kissed me as he pulled out and reached down to pull my dress over my nakedness. Only then did he roll away.

After I had my panties on and he was completely redressed, he pulled me up into his arms, hugging me close. “I brought you here so you could think, not so I could take advantage of you.”

“I liked it.” I confided.

He drew back. “Yeah?”

Did he really not know how hot he was? “Definitely. I’ve never felt this way before.”

“Me either,” he said, taking my hand and leading me back the way we came. This time we walked closer to the water’s edge so the surf could rush over our feet.

“Not even with Taylor?”

He snorted and stopped, pulling me around to look at me. “All of my feelings for Taylor were here,” he said, taking my hand and rubbing it against his fly. “With you…” he said, lifting my hand and bringing it to rest over his heart. “My feelings are mostly in here.”

This feeling of rightness descended upon me, like I was exactly where I was supposed to be. I swallowed past the lump lodged in my throat.

“So Taylor must have been pretty good in bed,” I said, trying not to feel jealous but failing.

He rolled his eyes. “Were you just back there?” He motioned to the pier. “That was way better than ‘pretty good.’”

I giggled, not knowing what else to say.

“I don’t want to talk about Taylor. She’s my past. You’re my future.”

I stopped walking as water rushed up around my ankles and tiny droplets spattered against my calves. “I am?”

“Yeah. You got a problem with that?”

I shook my head, so many feelings overwhelming me. He smiled and we started walking again.

I did want to be part of Holt’s future. I wanted it more than I wanted anything. In barely any time at all, he managed to insert himself so wholly into my life that I couldn’t imagine a day without him.

That scared me.

For two reasons:

One, giving away my heart meant I ran the risk of getting it broken.

19

I woke up in his arms with the steady sound of his heartbeat beneath my ear. I wasn’t wearing a shirt and neither was he, so our skin was pressed together and my leg was tossed up over his.

I lay there for a long time, letting the ceiling fan brush my skin with cool air as my body gently moved with the even rising and falling of Holt’s chest as he breathed.

I thought about my mother, my home, the fires, Mr. Goddard, and Tony Diesel. I had a lot of decisions to make, a life to put back together.

Funny thing was, even after everything, I didn’t feel like my life had fallen apart.

I felt like it had fallen together.

I never really allowed myself to think outside the box before. From the age of fifteen, I decided what I wanted, set a path, and followed it. I had only one goal in mind. Stability and independence. It’s all I truly wanted… but now that didn’t seem like near enough.

My home was taken from me. My job put on hold. Someone tried to run me over with a car, and I moved in with a stranger.

But through it all, I learned that maybe there was more to life than my job, my home was something that could be replaced (and maybe by something even better), and I wasn’t ready to die because life was finally getting interesting.

I didn’t need to know for sure if Tony Diesel really was my father because it didn’t matter. It wouldn’t change the way I was raised, the memories I had of my mother, and I wasn’t about to let it dictate my future.

I didn’t have everything figured out, and I didn’t know what was going to happen, but that was okay.

Beneath me, Holt stirred, so I leaned up to pepper his face with kisses. He stretched against me and then rolled, wrapping me in his arms and pinning me against the mattress. “I could get used to waking up like this,” he murmured before dipping his head and kissing me.

“What time do you have to be at work?” I asked when he finally pulled away.

“I don’t. I took today off.”

I arched an eyebrow. “You did?”

“With everything going on, I wouldn’t be able to concentrate at work anyway knowing you were here alone.”

“I’m a big girl, Holt.” I didn’t want him thinking I couldn’t take care of myself.

“Actually, you’re kind of tiny.”

I grabbed him by the face. “If you need to go to work, go.”

“The only place I need to go is out for pancakes.”

“Can I come too?” I asked sweetly, batting my eyes.

“I might be persuaded to bring you along,” he said suggestively.

“Hmmmm,” I replied playfully, reaching around and cupping his butt. “Well, I should probably get to work
persuading
you.”

I did a really good job.

*    *    *

The waitress delivered me a plate of towering blueberry pancakes dripping in butter. The sweet scent of the fluffy goodness had my stomach rumbling in appreciation. I pushed back my tall glass of orange juice to make way for the food that was about to be introduced to my belly.

I swirled my finger around in a giant pad of softening butter and brought it to my lips as the waitress handed Holt his own stack of pancakes plus a plate loaded with scrambled eggs, bacon, and toast.

When she was gone, I reached for the syrup.

“Are you trying to kill me?” Holt said, leaning over the table and stabbing his fork in my direction.

I glanced dubiously at the fork. “Are you trying to kill me?”

He grinned. “You can’t just go around licking your fingers like that, Freckles. It makes a man forget he’s in a public place.”

I laughed and dug into my pancakes, shoving an unladylike bite into my mouth and then groaning as the sweetness slid over my tongue.

“There you go again,” he said, his eyes darkening with desire.

“Wasn’t last night and this morning enough for you?” I asked playfully.

“I don’t think I’ll ever get enough of you.”

His words affected me somehow… A sort of longing came over me. What he said implied some kind of long-standing relationship, something that would last. The idea that this could be my life, that my days could be filled with passion and laughter, was so intensely wanted that it caught me off guard.

I watched him eat for a few minutes and as I looked, I realized I didn’t really know much about him other than the fact he was divorced. “So how’s a guy become the fire chef at the age of twenty-four? That’s kind of young, isn’t it?”

“It just kind of happened.”

“I’m gonna need more than that,” I said, feeling brave and stealing a piece of bacon off his plate. I saw the hostess leading a woman across the room and seating her in a booth near our table. The woman had long very blond hair and lips so full I thought surely they must have been treated with Botox. I watched as she slid into the booth, took the offered menu, and ordered a coffee. There was something about her… something that seemed vaguely familiar. When the hostess disappeared, she looked up, catching me staring. I averted my gaze immediately and returned my attention to Holt.

He set his fork down and looked up. “Fire control was something that always seemed to interest me,” he explained while I chomped down on the bacon. “So when I was sixteen, my dad suggested I volunteer with the local fire department. So I did and I really liked it. The guys there were really cool and it was something I felt made a difference in people’s lives.”

“Sounds like you had a great dad.”

He nodded. “Yeah, both my parents are really great.”

“They’re still married?”

“Yep, they live across town. They’re going love you.”

“Me?” I choked, reaching for my juice. “Why would they want to meet me?”

“They’re going to want to know the reason their son is so happy.”

I abandoned my food and fought the urge to cry. I didn’t want to hope… I didn’t want to think there might be a family—a family full of people like Holt—that would embrace me and make me one of their own. I spent too much time hoping for that with every single foster home I went to. In the end, it all turned out exactly the same way: bad.

His hand came across the table and covered mine. “Hey, what did I say?”

I shook my head. “Nothing, I just…”

“What?” he prompted when I didn’t speak.

“I’ve just gotten really used to being alone.”

He squeezed my fingers. “You’re not alone anymore, Katie. You’re never going to be alone again.”

He pulled his hand away and went back to eating, like his words didn’t just alter the entire universe.

But they did.

“So are you going to finish telling me about your job?” I said, clearing my throat and attempting to get back to a less mind-shattering conversation.

“I volunteered for years. Then when I graduated high school, I went through fire training, CPR training, basic medical training, fire safety training, and did a lot of physical work to get myself into shape. When I finished all that, the WPD called and offered me a job with them.”

“You worked really hard.”

“I guess when it’s something you love, it doesn’t feel like work.”

I nodded. I understood because that’s the way I felt about books.

“So when did you become the fire chief?”

His expression turned grim. “About a year ago.”

I leaned farther into the table so I didn’t miss anything he was about to say.

“We got called out on a nasty fire. Some old building that sat out on the edge of town. By the time we got there, the place was a wreck. The flames were so high and bright it was insane. We got to work, trying to put out the flames, but it seemed like no matter what we did, it just kept burning stronger.” His eyes were far away and I could tell he was lost in the memory of that day.

“We finally managed to dim the flames on one side of the building. Most of the exterior was gone by that point so the chief and a couple guys moved in a little farther because it seemed like there was something going on we didn’t quite understand. Just as they moved closer, what was left of the building exploded.”

I put a hand up to my mouth, gasping lightly.

“Debris went everywhere, men went down, and the chief… he was pinned beneath a flaming piece of timber.”

“Then what happened?”

“It all happened really fast. I just started moving, you know? I went on autopilot just doing what I thought needed to be done. I instructed the other men to help me drag the injured guys over by the truck and administer what first aid they could. I called for backup and an ambulance and instructed the other men to just keep spraying. I knew whatever had been inside was destroyed, so the fire might be containable at that point.

“What about the chief?”

“He was still pinned. At first I thought he was dead… but then I saw him move, little jerks of pain because he was being burned in the fire.”

I remembered the overwhelming fear of thinking I was going to burn to death, of the way the smoke smothered my lungs and I thought I was going to choke and expire. I remembered the way my skin felt, the intense rush of the burn, the all-consuming pain that chased away all reason. I stared down at my bandaged wrists, imagining the horror of lying there burning, knowing the pain wouldn’t stop until I was dead.

“I grabbed an extinguisher and rushed toward the worst of the flames, creating a sort of path to his body. Then I sprayed him and the beam, completely coating everything around us. I probably shouldn’t have picked him up, but it was that or let the fire completely overtake him. He screamed when I touched him. It was the kind of scream I never want to hear again. Thankfully, as we were moving, he passed out.”

“You saved his life,” I murmured, then looked up. “He did survive, didn’t he?”

“Yes, he did. He suffered extensive burns, but he lived.”

“How horrible.”

“When I went to see him in the hospital a few weeks later, I was a little afraid he would be mad at me for saving him. I mean, because of me he was sitting in a hospital bed covered in bandages and in the kind of pain that I wouldn’t even wish on my worst enemy.”

“Was he mad?”

He smiled. “When I got to his room, there was a girl about the age of ten sitting on the end of his bed, reading him a book about horses. When he saw me, he told her to go get an ice cream, and when she was gone, he…”