Torn: Bound Trilogy Book Two (33 page)

“There were worse people she could have been with. I’ve done my best to keep her safe and help her.”

Her laugh came out strangled. “I couldn’t have known that, could I? News from your country gets to ours slowly, if at all. And then the letters came, and I was so relieved that she was alive, even if she was angry...But our lives have fallen apart. I know that’s not Rowan’s fault.”

“You blame me, then?”

“I blame you for taking her, for interfering in her life.”

“For saving her life?”

She shook her head and turned her chin defiantly up at me, an expression I recognized. “You can’t know that. We were managing her pain with medicines, and she’d have had even better doctors when she moved to Ardare. The best alive.”

“They’d have discovered what she was.”

Lucilla squeezed her eyes closed, deepening the fine lines at the edges. “I know,” she whispered.

Her arguments rang false even to her, I realized. She just needed to speak them aloud.

“I did try.” She tugged at her dress sleeve. “When I found the proposal letter from Callum in her room, I decided to tell her about the binding. I had kept the secret successfully for so long, but I couldn’t let her marry a magic hunter without knowing. Maybe she’d have changed her mind. She left before I could tell her, and I didn’t have a chance...” The fire went out of her eyes. “I do blame myself. I don’t know what I could have done differently, but this all began with a decision I made. I know that.”

If she was looking for absolution, I was in no position to offer it. She seemed genuinely regretful, though. I couldn’t condone her choices, nor could I condemn her for them. I let go of my desire to hurt her. Cassia was right. This woman was hurt enough. Sorrow and loss swirled around her like shadows.

I wouldn’t pry into her mind, but I would trust her, at least a little.

“Is Callum still coming around here?” I asked.

“Not since Rowan’s letters came. And then out of nowhere he showed up at my door, offering to send a letter from us to Rowan along with his. I thought it strange, after all that time, and he seemed so on edge. I said so to Rowan in my postscript, told her it would be best to leave him alone. He was hurt so badly by all of this.”

I could hardly feel sympathy for him. I hoped it
had
hurt him. It obviously hadn’t changed him for the better.

She smiled sadly. “Again, that’s my fault, but I don’t know what else I could have done. You can’t know what the last twenty years of my life have been like, waiting for someone to find out what I did. You didn’t see the look on Callum’s face when he stood at our door holding his letter, when I tried to explain that I thought she was as good as cured.”

“The letter he sent to Rowan asked her to meet him at the border. He apparently offered her safe passage here, to see you. Did you know about that?”

“What? No. What happened?”

“I don’t know, exactly. I wasn’t there when she got the letters, which I’m guessing no longer contained your warning. I know that she came back. She met Callum in a small town in the mountains, hoping she could explain the truth about magic to him and bring medicine for her brother. There were magic hunters waiting for her.”

“No.” She clapped her hands over her mouth, covering everything but her tear-filled eyes.

“They took her to Ardare. I hoped you’d have more information.”

Rowan’s mother wiped her eyes. “I can’t believe he would...” She shook her head. “Yes, I can. What’s happening now, do you know?”

“No. They took her over a week ago to what was described to me as a large stone building with water around it. We came as quickly as we could, but I don’t know what they’ve been doing, whether they held a trial, or—”

“They held her trial while she was away. They convicted her of treason, blasphemy, and conspiracy against the crown.” She pulled her sleeve down over her hand and wiped her eyes in a child-like gesture. “Rowan and I had so many fights over the years, so many problems. She probably told you that. But I love my daughter. You must get her out of there before they kill her.”

If they haven’t already,
I thought, and my stomach tightened. “We’ll try. I don’t know what else to tell you. I’ll do anything I have to, if there’s any way.”

She took a deep, shuddering breath and looked up at me again, narrowing her eyes slightly. “Will you? Anything?”

“Yes.”

I looked toward the pond again. Nox held up two fingers. Kel shrugged.

“I feel I should ask you what your intentions are for my daughter, Mister Tiernal,” Lucilla said, and gave me that sad smile again. I suspected she wore that expression frequently. “This is ridiculous. I thought that if I ever met you, I’d do my best to kill you for what you did to my family, to my daughter. But it’s true, isn’t it? She said that you were her friend, in her first letter. In the second one she said she loved you. Do you feel the same about her?”

“Yes.” I admitted it without hesitation. “As for my intentions, I suppose that depends entirely on Rowan, doesn’t it?”

“You do know her, don’t you?” Her smile brightened, then faded. “I should have known her better than I did. Tell me, is she happy? Or rather, was she the last time you saw her?”

The unspoken question:
Do
you
make her happy?

“I think she was, sometimes. She didn’t have the pain anymore. She was learning things she’s always been curious about. She made some friends, but it wasn’t always easy for her. And she missed you. She worried about all of you. She wanted to talk to you, to find out exactly what happened to her when she was younger. She tried to understand why you did it, but it hurt her.” Though I was no longer interested in making this woman suffer, I wasn’t going to spare her anything, either. “It took her a while to accept that what she is isn’t a bad thing.”

She looked away. “It is here.”

“Then it’s probably a good thing she won’t be staying in this country any longer than she has to.”

Lucilla nodded slowly. “I can’t say that I’m happy about any of this. I appreciate that you’ve been helping Rowan, but I’m not comfortable with her relationship with you. I’m sorry. It’s just not what any mother wants for her daughter.”

“No. I wouldn’t have recommended it, either.” I still wasn’t convinced I was the best thing for Rowan, but I’d be hers as long as she cared to have me.

“But you’ll be good to her?”

“I’ve been doing my best.” I didn’t know what else to tell her. Now wasn’t the time to worry about whether or not I could make Rowan happy or help her reach her potential. For now, I had to focus on keeping her alive. “I should be going. We could be running out of time.”

Nox hurried over and handed Lucilla a bundle of grasses and assorted plant material, braided together and tied around the ends with purplish roots. “Here, ma’am. Simmer this in fresh cream until the dried seed-heads there turn green. Mind you don’t boil or burn it. It will help.”

“Thank you, my dear. I can’t say how much this—”

Nox waved off the thanks. “It’s what I do.” She walked away, leaving Lucilla looking bemused.

She turned back to me. “Will you take a message to Rowan?”

“If you have something to say, I’ll tell her.”

She hesitated. “Tell her…Tell her that I’m sorry. For everything. Tell her that I did what I did, the binding and keeping her condition a secret, to protect her. It wasn’t because I hated what she was. If there had been another way, I’d have taken it. I wanted to tell her, but the time was always wrong. Tell her that I love her. Please.”

I stood to leave. “I will. Is there anything else?”

“Only that Ashe misses her, and has never stopped loving her through all of this. He was ready to go over the mountains looking for her when she first disappeared. He talks to her in his sleep sometimes, since he’s been ill.”

“She misses him, too. I’m sure she’d want to send her love.”

She stood as well, and smoothed her skirt again. People don’t often surprise me, but Rowan’s mother did. She stepped away, then turned back and wrapped her arms around me, squeezing tightly.

“Thank you for taking care of her,” she whispered. “Please give her that. I didn’t do it often enough when she was with us.”

Her eyes took on a sharp look as she caught sight of something behind me, toward town. I turned to see the gardener we’d passed on the way into the park. Alone, but definitely watching.

“You should go,” Lucilla said. “Now.” Her lips formed a hard line. “I’ll take care of him if I can.”

I leaned in closer and spoke quietly. “You should leave town, as soon as possible. You, your husband, any other family members who might find themselves in a difficult situation if things go badly with this rescue. Or if they go well, for that matter.”

She thanked me and hurried back toward the retreating gardener and the little town that now hated her family. As the rest of us mounted and fled the city, I committed Lucilla’s message to Rowan to memory.

I only hoped I’d have a chance to deliver it.

“
T
ime’s up
.”

“Not yet.” I sat up on my bed, where I’d been taking a break from practicing hand-to-hand combat training with Ulric. Without weapons, we’d been limited in what we could practice, but I’d learned to throw a punch, how to ground myself and balance, and how to dodge an attack.

Ulric’s demands had only increased now that we’d been given a few more days together. I wasn’t complaining anymore, but the constant mental and physical demands were exhausting me. I’d pushed through it again and again until I’d collapsed.

“Now, please,” he said. “Tonight’s the night.”

My heart stopped, then thumped as it caught up to itself. “No. Tomorrow. Langley said four days. We have one more until they come for me.”

“Exactly. They’ll be prepared for us to act when they come to take you away. I don’t know how much they know, but they must suspect that we’ve been working on something during all this time we’ve been together. You’ve been careful to show nothing?”

I looked away. “One of them saw me playing with water in the baths. It just happened. Nothing big. They can’t know what I can do.”

His face took on a pinched look. “Very well. Nothing else?”

“No.” I lowered my voice. “So we act tonight, then, when they bring our food?”

“Unless you feel prepared to blast the door down.”

“No.” We’d discussed it as a training possibility. I had blasted a hay bale once, and had pushed a man hard enough to crack his skull. Ulric thought the two events were related. I thought they were accidents caused by my panic and lack of control. In any case, I hadn’t succeeded in doing anything further with it in the cell, even when Ulric threw books at me to try to provoke the reaction.

I’d given him permission to try it, but still resented the bruise I’d gotten on my shoulder.

“What’s our plan?” I asked.

He motioned for me to stand, then went to his sleeping area and came back carrying his pillow and bedding. He arranged them beneath my blankets. “They’ve seen you resting,” he explained. “But this time, you’ll actually be hiding next to the door. As soon as they open it, you go. Defend yourself if you have to, but don’t attack. You’re not ready for that. I’ll run, too, as soon as the guard is distracted by you.”

“They’ll stop you.”

“We’ll have to risk it. If we can just get away from these damned walls, I’ll be able to defend us. I do have some strength left in these old bones.”

I sat back down on the edge of the bed. “What do I do then?”

“Conserve your energy until I tell you to act. Be prepared to create illusions when you have the power for it. Copies of us. But not until I give the word.”

I couldn’t help wondering, still, whether I was a true partner in this. Something in his tone made me think he’d be happy as long as he got out, even if that meant leaving me to the guards as a distraction.

“How will you defend us?” I asked. “I’m curious about your skills. You know mine so well.” He’d never told me what he could do, always avoiding the question.

“I’ll do what I need to.”

“Please. I’d rather not be startled by anything when we’re trying to get out.”

He sat next to me on my bed, careful not to crush the hidden pillow. “The ground may tremble.”

“What?”

He smiled, though his expression remained tight and guarded. “The stones would obey me if I told them to crumble on our heads and kill everyone. I won’t say I haven’t been tempted on occasion to do it, though they would crush me as surely as anyone else. I may disappear, but only briefly.”

“That’s impressive.”

He waved my comment off. “Just something I was training myself in before my unfortunate disappearance. I’m not sure I’ll be able to pick it up again after all this time, or how reliable it will be.”

“Anything else? Turning into a bear?”

He shifted away from me. A slight movement, but I noted it. “I draw strength from enemies.”

The room seemed to grow colder. “Just enemies?”

“It’s nothing to be concerned about. It’s limited. I can only draw from one person at a time. I’ll take on his physical strength as he loses it. As soon as I let go, he’ll get back whatever I haven’t used up.”

I tapped a finger against my knees, a gesture that conveyed far less agitation than I felt. Magic wasn’t the only thing I’d learned from Ulric. “And magic? Can you draw that power as well?”

“Yes. It’s irrelevant, unless any of them have hidden power. I won’t use it against you.”

I imagined myself drained, left to those dogs while he took my power and ran.

Don’t be stupid. He wouldn’t have spent all this time training you to control your power if that was his plan all along.

“Are you sure you’ll be able to manage it?” I asked. No harm in reminding him that he might need me. “How long ago was your last near-escape? Since you practiced magic?”

He shot me a dark look. “Years since I’ve managed much. There’s magic in me. I feel it when I step away from the walls. I believe that the push-back effect will come again, increasing my power when I leave this place.”

“But you’re not certain.”

“No. All of this is unprecedented, as far as I know. We have no choice but to try. Together. Gods, what I wouldn’t give for a clock. You’d better go to the door. Any more questions?”

I moved to the door and leaned against the wall next to it. “Which way do I run once I’m out of here?”

“Turn right. Keep going. I’ll catch up.”

“And if you don’t?”

“You remember the maps I showed you? The passage past the—Hush, now.”

The little window in the door hissed open next to my head. “Backs against the wall.” A man’s voice.

Ulric moved to the far wall as he always did. Hands up. No sign that he planned anything.

“What’s wrong with her this time?” the guard asked.

Ulric shrugged. “Your walls give her headaches. She’d move her bed away from them, but you’ve so kindly bolted it to the floor.”

The window slid closed. Ulric and I exchanged a glance. His brows knit together.

It’s taking too long.

No backing down, now.

The lock turned. The door opened.

I ran.

The guard held our supper trays in one hand and his blue-dripping dagger in the other. I threw a shoulder into his as I darted past. He stumbled and fell against the door, pushing it fully open. From the corner of my vision I caught sight of Ulric moving toward us, and I ran, darting to the right and leaving the room behind. Within a few paces, I felt my magic growing, infusing me.

“No!” Ulric’s voice rang through the corridor.

Sounds of struggle, scuffling and thumping, came behind me.
Damn it.
I stopped. Maybe he had planned to use me, or abandon me. I wouldn’t do the same to him. If the guard had caught him…

A sharp pain ripped through my arm as I turned. When I looked down, blue-green fluid intermingled with my blood. I stumbled, dizzy.

No.

A half dozen guards congregated outside the cell. Most were busy with Ulric, but a few had their eyes on me.

I fought the potion, called my magic and pushed it from me. It left, but had no effect on anything. I fell to my knees and cringed as pain swirled behind my eyes, and I felt my magic being pushed back into me.

We were too late. They’d been ready.

I forced my eyes to open. A soldier lay on the ground, bleeding from the head. His bow lay beside him, and his remaining arrows lay scattered over the floor. They had Ulric, though. The handle of a dagger protruded from his thigh. Drugged, surely, or he’d have fought them off. Ulric slumped forward, held up by a guard at each elbow. He looked up at me.

“Go!” he hollered.

I crawled away and forced myself to my feet. The corridor spun around me. I was away from the cell, but for all I could use my magic, I might as well have been entombed in its walls. Torchlight burned my eyes.

Footsteps echoed behind me, approaching far more quickly than I could run. I glanced back. A soldier ran at me, sword drawn. I stumbled and hit the floor hard, scraping the skin of my hands on the rough stone floor.

I pushed myself up on my knees and closed my eyes, waiting for the fatal strike.

I’m sorry, Aren. I tried to come back to you
.

“Hold!” Not Ulric’s voice this time, but a familiar one, big and booming.

Tears gathered between my lashes. I bit my lip and held them back.
Not in front of him
.

Dorset Langley caught up with us.

“Orders are death if they try anything,” the soldier said.

“I’m changing the orders,” Langley replied. He grabbed my arm and jerked me to me feet. Cold metal snapped around my wrists. “My son is on his way into town as we speak. He’s going to take care of this one.”

“If you say so, Sir.” I didn’t look up, but heard the bemusement in the soldier’s voice. “What of the old man?”

“I’ll make sure he gets his punishment. After. Drug him, lock him in the cell. I’ll come back. I’ve been waiting a long time to be allowed to do this.”

The barely-concealed rage in his voice made me fear for Ulric. I might be fortunate enough to have a quick death. My cellmate would surely not have the same.

Langley grabbed me by the jaw and forced me to look at him. “She’s still awake. Dose her again.”

“Please,” I groaned.

“We don’t have much left,” the soldier said, but I heard his garments shifting as he reached for something. “If we give her more, we won’t have him knocked out. I’d suggest—”

“I don’t care what you suggest.” Langley nearly snarled the words. “I’m tired of seeing everyone underestimate this girl. Put her out. Callum will arrive in the next few hours, and we’ll be rid of her. Leave the old man shackled, and leave him to me.”

One more try. I jerked away from Langley, then called to my magic and drove it forward with my fear and my anger.

Nothing happened.

I hit the floor, unable to balance. Pain burst in my arm, burning through my body.

Langley delivered a sharp kick to my ribs and leaned in. “I’ll see you soon, Miss Greenwood.”