Torn: Bound Trilogy Book Two (41 page)

He swallowed hard. “I hadn’t thought about that.”

“Of course you hadn’t.” I thought it through. “Unless anyone you fought was ill, it’s probably just the infection from your foot. But I can’t know.”

“Can you do anything for it?”

“I could cut off your leg. How would that be?” He didn’t react, and I sighed. “I’ll get something together for you. It would be better if I were at home, with proper equipment and suspension fluids. This will be primitive, but it will help.”

He lay on his side with one arm under his head and closed his eyes.

I was looking through my things, trying to find the stokeweed I was sure I’d picked back near the dragon’s cave, when a rustling noise in the dark forest stopped me. I wasn’t the only one who heard it. Kel, Cassia and Ulric leaped to their feet, and even Aren sat up and watched closely.

An indistinct shape moved toward us, ghostly in the dark forest, broken by the shadows.

“Florizel?” Cassia whispered, and stepped forward. Aren sat up straighter.

The horse’s head hung low, and she held her wings high over her back like a swan. When she lowered them, a smaller form came into view, slumped over her withers.

Aren stood and moved unsteadily toward them, stumbling over his feet in his rush to reach Rowan.

Rowan lifted her head from Florizel’s neck. “Sorry we took so long.” She slid down from the horse’s back and landed awkwardly. “We couldn’t see you until you lit that fire. Poor Florizel has been carrying me all day.” She took a few unsteady steps toward us. “Do you have anything for her to eat?”

“No grain left. The horses have been having some luck foraging around here, though,” Cassia said, and touched Florizel’s cheek. “What happened?”

The horse didn’t answer, so Rowan did. “She flew into the city and saved me. Dropped out of the sky, took out a guard, and carried me away. I’d have been doomed without her.”

“As we would have been without you,” Aren said, and took Rowan into his arms.

I turned away. Rowan’s presence grated on me. It seemed she was every bit as impressive as the others said—or at least she’d become so, once she’d pulled herself together after Aren rescued her. She’d done a fine thing back in the city, and had no doubt saved our lives. But it was her fault we’d been in that danger to begin with, a fact which I suspected no one would bring up. No one ever did to people like her.

I went back to my bags to find something that might restore a horse’s strength more quickly than food and rest alone. Starflower, perhaps, though I needed that for Aren’s potion, too. She could have a hint of fireweed in the morning after she slept, but it would keep her awake now.

But if I also gave her this slip of cowberry…

I carried a few items back to Florizel. Aren and Rowan had moved away.

“Abandoned you, did she?” I asked, and set the plants down. Florizel nosed at them, but didn’t eat.

“I told her to go,” she said. “It was so brave, how she stood up to those guards back there. She needs to rest.”

“You were brave, too.” I pulled a cloth from my pocket to rub the sweat and dried blood from her coat. I didn’t see a cut anywhere. Not her blood, then. “You saved Rowan’s life.”

Florizel sighed and leaned into my touch. “I wasn’t brave. I was terrified. I heard the bells coming from the city and knew you all must be in trouble. I wanted to fly far away.”

“But you didn’t. You flew into danger.”

“I hated it. I could never do it again. I still want to flee, even now.”

I patted her neck. “I think you might be the bravest of us all. Eat, please. Take care of yourself.”

She nodded, and I left her to her foraging.

Rowan accepted what little food was left in the pot. She and Cassia sat with Aren while she ate, and spoke quietly. She didn’t seem to want to talk about what had happened. “We held their attention,” was all she said. The skirt of her dress was torn shorter than it had been before, and she’d wrapped the missing fabric around her arm in a bulky bandage that was stained through with fresh blood in several places.

“That’s filthy,” I said. “Better change it before you end up like him.”

I went back to preparing the salve I’d been planning before Florizel and Rowan showed up.

Kel followed, and watched while I pinched leaves, stems and roots into a bowl. “I hope this one doesn’t require a blood sacrifice.”

“Not a sacrifice. An ingredient. I didn’t realize it would bother you that much to see blood.”

“It only bothered me because it was yours,” he said softly. I looked up, and he reached out to brush away the hair that hid my eyes.

I leaned in to his touch, and he cupped my cheek in his hand. I only took a moment to enjoy the fact that we were alive and together. Much as I wanted to just collapse, there was work to be done that only I could do. Kel sat nearby while I prepared the mixture and went into the woods with me as I searched for moss. I set the bowl next to the fire to let the components of the salve warm and combine, and went to check on Aren. He was asleep, but his breaths were shallow and quick.

“He said you could help him?” Rowan said, barely glancing away from Aren.

“I’m going to try.”

“That’s good. I can’t. I used to be able to heal things like this, but that talent is gone now.” She chewed her lip. “I can’t even give him any more magic so he can heal himself. I tried, but I think mine is all busy with this.” She gestured to her arm, which she’d unwrapped. The wound had obviously been severe, a deep gash that cut from the outside of her elbow to the front of her shoulder in a ragged line. She’d lost a lot of blood, if what I’d cleaned off of Florizel was any indication, but the wound had almost pulled together, even without stitches. It probably wouldn’t even scar. I envied her that.

“I didn’t have time to properly introduce myself,” she went on. “I’m Rowan. Aren said you’re his sister?”

“That’s how it looks,” I said. “I’m sure he’ll tell you the whole story.”

“I got most of it from Cassia just now. Aren’s not talking much.” She hesitated. “Is he going to be okay? I’ve never seen him sick. Hurt, but he gets over that quickly. Usually.” She sounded nervous.

Good.
Again my intense dislike of her flared up. She deserved to be worried.
Calm down, Nox.
I knew I was being irrational, but was too exhausted to care.

I pulled the thin blanket up over Aren and stepped back. “He got a nasty wound on his foot when he was running around barefoot and in wet clothes, looking for you. The infection is raging through him already, and getting worse. He’s used up his magic reserves, and hasn’t been getting enough sleep since he found out where you were. It was too much, and he’s worn down. There’s not much magic around here to help, either.”

She closed her eyes. “It’s better than it was at the compound, but you’re right. Barely any.”

“You were born here?”

“Not here, exactly. East. But in this country, yes.”

“That’s what I meant.”

I walked away and she followed, brushing pine needles off what was left of her skirt. “You don’t like me much, do you?” she asked, not sounding hurt by it.

I shook my head.

“Why?”

“Why do you care?”

“I’m just curious.”

I took a deep breath and released it slowly as I turned to face her. “You didn’t see Aren’s face when he heard that you’d been taken. That was the most afraid I’ve seen him since we met. Even when we went to visit your friend Ruby, he wasn’t terrified like he was at that moment. He thought the magic hunters were going to kill you, and I think that would have killed him. He risked his life, and mine, Kel’s and Cassia’s, to save you from a situation you got yourself into. Now he’s hurt and sick and not able to fix himself, and it’s your fault.” My vehemence surprised me, as did the way my voice caught in my throat. I couldn’t possibly care so much for my brother. And yet, there it was.

“I never should have come back to Darmid,” she said quietly. “I know it was stupid. My brother was sick, and I thought Emalda’s potions were his best hope.”

“You thought you’d be able to say hello, drop off some magical medicine, and they’d let you go again?” Perhaps she wasn’t as smart as Aren seemed to think.

She pressed her lips together. “I wanted to believe that. I haven’t always been on the best terms with my parents, especially my mother. This could have been a better way to end things with them, and I just wanted that so badly.” She looked at my brother again. “I never meant to hurt anyone. Especially not Aren.”

I sighed. She’d done what she thought was right. Even if I thought her decision stupid, she’d done it for good reasons. I couldn’t say I’d have done differently. Still, I needed to clear the air between us.

“Of course you didn’t. You just cared about your family,” I said. She looked at me warily. “Let me tell you something. That man over there, the one you didn’t mean to hurt? He’s the only real family I have. We’ve had a rough start, and I wanted to hate him as much as I did my father and the others. But I can’t. He’s trying to do great things, but he was willing to throw it all away for you, to save you from your own foolish mistake.”

Rowan winced. “I understand. You love him. So do I.”

Do I?
I might not have gone so far as to say that, but it seemed Aren was becoming another blind spot for me. I’d have to watch that.

I softened my tone. “What you did saved us, and I want you to know I’m grateful for that. I can respect it. For what it’s worth, I’m glad we have you and Ulric on our side for whatever comes next. Don’t worry about whether I
like
you. It doesn’t matter.”

She met my gaze again. “Fair enough. If you can help Aren, you’ll have my respect, as well.”

“I’m working on it.” I went back to the fire and stirred the salve. The surface bubbled, but felt barely warm when I tested it with my finger. That meant the ice grass was working, and would help to draw out any dirt or brewing infection in his blood.

“I’m going to need fresh bandages,” I told Rowan. She was giving me extra space. “Something cleaner than what you found for yourself.”

“I’ve got it,” Cassia said. “Though we’re going to run out of blankets soon if we’re not careful.” She’d torn an entire cotton blanket into long strips. “At least spring is here.”

I soaked a patch of moss in the pungent herb mixture, which had reached a sticky, syrupy consistency while it sat by the fire, then folded pieces of leaves and roots inside of a strip of cloth and took all of it to Aren.

“You awake?”

He opened his eyes half-way. “Close enough.”

He’d grown warmer since I’d last checked on him, and his foot was still swelling. I washed it as well as I could with the water I’d boiled earlier and pressed the moss and the salve-pad to the puncture. Aren drew in a sharp breath, then relaxed as Rowan sat beside him and took his hand.

Cassia handed me another bandage, and I wound it around Aren’s foot and ankle, binding the other items to him. The salve would work its way into the hole in his foot. It would sting, but it would work. I felt it as much as I knew it. “If the fever’s not better by morning, I’ll see if I can find something to help,” I told him. “It’s too dark to see now.”

“Thank you,” Rowan said, and yawned. She lay down beside Aren without letting go of his hand. “Let me know when it’s my watch.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Kel said. “We’re going to need an early start anyway. Cassia, Ulric and I will take watches tonight. You focus on healing, and if you can give him any more magic when that’s done, so much the better.”

Kel handed something to Rowan—a necklace. “Ulric said this is yours.”

She thanked him, and tucked it into Aren’s other hand.

“What about me?” I asked. “I can stay awake, too.”

“Not tonight.” Kel took my hand to lead me to a place away from the fire’s light where he’d set up a bed. “You’ve done your part today, more than once. Come on, I’ll tuck you in.”

Kel lay down, arms open. I hesitated. I cared for him, more than I wanted to. Spending a night next to him would only make it worse. And yet I wanted this, wanted to wrap myself in this strange, brave, loyal and kind person whose laugh made me forget my pain.

“Come here,” he said, and smiled. “I have no nefarious plans, I swear.”

I returned the smile. “How do you know I’m not coming up with some terrible ideas of what to do with you?” I sank to the ground and stretched out with my back to him, facing the fire, using his arm as a pillow. There was barely enough room for both of us, but we were able to share blankets this way. It felt right. Natural. And for once, I didn’t want to run from it.

“How's this?” he asked.

“I’ve had more comfortable pillows,” I said, “but I think this is the best.”

He wrapped his other arm around my waist and pulled me closer, fitting his body around mine.

Ulric waved toward the fire as he went to his own bed, and the light burned lower. Cassia sat near Florizel. Kel and I might as well have been alone in the woods.

“This whole journey has been insane,” he whispered into my hair. “Exhausting. Dangerous. Can I say that and still be happy that you’re here with me right now?”

I twisted my fingers between his and squeezed. “I’m glad you’re here, too, even though I know you’d be better off at home.”

He shifted his weight, pressing his hips against my backside. “Nox, what is this that’s happening with us?”

“I don’t know.” My heart pounded in my ears. I wanted to let go, to fall for him, but I still feared it. “Do we have to decide right now?”

“I wouldn’t mind knowing.”

I pulled Kel’s hand up, closer to my chest. His fingers traced gentle circles over my ribs, trailing up to the exposed flesh where the top of my shirt was unbuttoned, floating over my curves. I closed my eyes and enjoyed his undemanding touch. My body yearned for more, but there were so many other things to consider.

After my husband died I decided that I was done with love for good. It wasn’t long before some of the other men in town started giving me that look. It seemed no one expected a long mourning period, and certainly I wasn’t supposed to want to live on my own for long. We hadn’t had any children. I was barely even considered used goods. But I wasn’t going to take someone into my bed or my heart simply because it was expected. I felt nothing for those men, and knew that none of them would be any better than what I’d already had.