Torn (Demon Kissed #3) (13 page)

I visibly recoiled as my face contorted, “NO! How could you even ask me that?”

“You’re kidding, right?” he laughed. “You don’t tell me anything. I have no idea what you’re doing, but no matter what, you keep throwing yourself back to becoming the demon queen. Maybe he was right. Maybe you wanted him all along and you were using me. Gah,” he said as he ran his fingers through his hair and slouched back into the chair. The turmoil that was radiating off of him was massive. It suffocated me like a lead blanket and I wasn’t even experiencing it firsthand.

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

Cautiously I asked, “He who? Who said I wanted to be demon queen? Who said I was using you?” That was ridiculous. Collin was my best friend, and more. I loved him. I’d do anything for him, which is why it was totally ridiculous that he would believe such a ludicrous accusation. As if I could like anyone else. Collin used to tease me about the guys I dated, but I never really dated any of them. They were the means to make myself feel better. As calloused as it sounded, I didn’t like them—I didn’t even know them. But Collin knew my past, which is why it was crazy for him to have believed whoever said that.

When he wouldn’t answer me, I guessed. The bond shot an icy confirmation that I was right.
“Kreturus.
He told you that.” I jumped off the chaise and slid onto my knees in front of him. Collin never made any indication of insecurity. He was the complete opposite, which is why this entire situation was unreal. Collin’s emotions were stormy because he doubted himself. He doubted what he knew and who he was. It was like the pillars that made him were breaking apart. “Kreturus is a liar. Of course he’d tell you that I’d want him and his power; but I don’t. I only want you.” I reached for his hands, but he shot out of the chair before I could touch him.

“I don’t believe you,” he snapped. I flinched. The words stung. His eyes burned, as his gaze tore into me. “I’ve never lied to you, Ivy. And yet, here we are, and you can’t tell me the truth.”

Jumping to my feet I walked over to him. I wanted to blurt out that I’d told him the truth, but I didn’t—I couldn’t—and he knew it. Sorrow flooded through the bond and we just stared at each other. It felt like I didn’t know him anymore, and he didn’t know me. There was a sense of distance and loss flooding through us. It was laced with so much remorse that I couldn’t stand it. Slowly, the red faded from his deep blue eyes as his anger receded.

I made a few false starts, but words utterly failed me. Pressing my lips together hard, I finally said, “I don’t want to lie to you, but I don’t know what else to do. You can’t fix what I’ve broken. You can’t save me from myself, Collin. And I’ve screwed up really bad this time.”

The expression on his face remained hard and impassive. “Trust me with everything, or trust me with nothing. I can’t live like this. I can’t watch this happen to you.” His words were stated calmly and rationally, but they hurt anyway. Revealing the truth would hurt him more. The poison in my chest was lethal. He’d blame himself. I knew he would. How was I supposed to explain this? How was I supposed to tell him I was mostly healed, but that it wasn’t enough?

Swallowing hard, I didn’t think. I just acted, feeling that it was right. Reaching for the edge of my sweatshirt, I pulled it over my head, revealing my pale skin and a black bra. Collin’s lips parted as he watched me. Confusion lit his face, but he’d see it in a minute. He’d see I wasn’t coming onto him. He’d see that I was showing him the secret I was hiding. The room was cold, and I fought back a shiver. I had to intentionally make my hands stay at my sides, so I shoved them in my pockets. My heart raced as he stood in front of me. Fear ran wild in my chest, making my heart race and my hands sweat. I was afraid of what he’d do when he saw the scar that stretched across my chest. He stepped slowly towards me, his eyes fixated on the line that marred my smooth skin. He raised his hand slowly and touched his finger to the scar between my breasts. The pale line disappeared behind my bra on my left breast, reappearing on the other side until it ended on my shoulder.

His fingers followed the scar across my chest, slowly tracing the curved line all the way to my shoulder. The sensation of Collin’s skin touching mine didn’t occur to me until he did it. I thought he’d look at the scar. I didn’t expect him to touch me, but he did. Standing perfectly still, my heart pounded as Collin pressed his fingers slowly against my skin. His hands were so warm, and he was so close. The scent of his body was intoxicating and I did my best not to breathe in big greedy breaths, although I wanted to. When his fingers grazed across the top of my bra butterflies erupted tickling the ceiling of my stomach. Under normal circumstances, his touch made me crazy. It was a direct link to knowing exactly what I was thinking and feeling. The touch between us was always supercharged like it might erupt at any moment. But this was much more than I bargained for. Knees buckling, I could barely stand there and all thoughts vacated my mind, as soon as his skin touched mine.

Fighting through the haze that was fogging up my mind, I noticed his fingers had followed the scar to the end of its path. He looked up at me questioningly. I’d told him I was fine, but I wasn’t. Right now, without seeing the blue poison under the bra, it looked like I was healed and the poison was gone. It looked like the scar was the only thing that remained, but I knew once he saw the bit of blue, he’d know the sapphire serum was still inside of me. I had to tell him.

Taking the bra strap between my fingers, I slid the fabric off my shoulder, and pulled the top edge of my bra down. The deep blue line contrasted brightly with my pale skin. Heart racing in my chest, I fought to control my hands as they started to shake. Collin’s eyes were wide. His hand reached towards the poison with his fingers extended, but he hesitated leaving his hand hovering without touching the site of the serum. I watched his fingers as they slowly lowered and gently brushed the blue poison beneath my skin. Collin never looked up at me, and when he finally pulled his hand away, he was silent. Completely fixated, he stared at the long scar and the small spot of dark blue.

Finally he looked into my eyes. Until that moment, he was so lost in his own thoughts that he hadn’t realized what was happening. He didn’t notice the effect of the touch of his hand on me. I hadn’t meant it to be sexual, but my heart was racing so fast, and I wanted nothing but his hands on me. His mouth opened slightly when I thought it, and I blushed in response. He could hear me even though I wasn’t thinking clear thoughts. The emotions and desires that were flooding through me in a silent scream weren’t a secret. He knew. As he parted his lips to speak, the sound of metal scraping metal snapped both of our heads to the staircase. Someone was downstairs opening the door. Fear shot through me, quickly replacing lust.

Collin thrust my shirt into my hands and said, “Go out the back. I’ll meet you where we agreed. Go.” He wasn’t frantic, but Collin was frazzled.

I stuffed my arms into the shirt and took off out the back of the church. The building was surrounded by sod farms, so the nearest spot that provided any cover was a depression where the land was too rocky for the sod. Instead of trying to smooth the land, the farmer had left a small gulch. Running as fast as I could, I made it to the gulch and threw myself inside. It wasn’t far from the building, but it was far enough that we wouldn’t be seen once Collin arrived.

I slid down with my back to the church, breathing hard. What was I thinking before? A shiver ran down my spine, and I suppressed it, assuming it was emotional overflow. I wasn’t a prude by any means, but I didn’t think about being with Collin like that. The thought terrified me. Although I wanted him, the truth was that having someone see into every part of me was horrifying. I’d be able to not only hear his thoughts, as he heard mine, but feel what he felt. That alone was terrifying. A kiss put us into a frenzied state where I wasn’t sure where I ended and he began. Our thoughts and feelings fused together in a simple kiss. I had no idea what sex would do. I put my hand to my chest, and took a deep breath as my heart slowed to a normal pace. Looking up into the sky, I decided that I’d have to think about it later. There was no time now, and I didn’t want more problems right then. Why couldn’t we just be normal? I pressed my eyes together hard, wishing that I was normal again, when a familiar voice sent ice through my veins. A cold hand clamped over my mouth before I could scream.

 
“Shhh,” Eric breathed into my ear. “We wouldn’t want lover boy over there to know I was the one who sent those people into the building, would we? I need to borrow you for a bit.” He pressed his free hand against a sharp stone in the side of the wall. The rock ripped through his flesh, and red ribbons of blood flowed down his wrist. My heart was about to explode in my chest, and that was before he did anything to me. As soon as he grabbed my mouth, and locked my neck in his arms, I fought to get away. But it didn’t matter how I moved or twisted—Eric had me in a death grip. His warm breath brushed across my ear as he pulled me tightly against his body.

I stopped writhing for half a second as he spoke, “I’m taking my hand away. Don’t scream.”

As soon as his fingers were away from my mouth, I inhaled to belt out the loudest scream I could manage, but before I had the chance, he slapped his bloodied hand over it. His blood flowed into my mouth. Horrified, I tried to spit it out, but he held my mouth shut and forced my chin up until I swallowed. “You’re so fucking predictable, Ivy.” Those were the last words I heard before internal flames consumed us and we effonated without my permission.

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

The same thing happened as before. Mid-effonation the poison turned to a shard of ice and felt as if it was cutting my skin away from my body by slowly leaking out acidic poison. A scream erupted from my lips, but the sound was only absorbed by the void. When we finally arrived wherever Eric took us, I
fell
face first onto the floor. Gasping for air, I curled into a ball cradling my wounds.

“Get up, Ivy. Effonating can’t kill you. And I fully intend to take pleasure in that, so this little stint won’t work.” When I didn’t move his swung his foot into my side. The pain from his kick shattered the pain from splicing my skin off during effonation for half a second. My body uncurled and he could see the wounds covering my body. “What the hell?” He bent down to me, and moved me like a hurt baby. His touch was gentle, as he examined my arms and shoulders. This time the spliced skin was on my throat as well. “What is this?”

Through gritted teeth I told him, “From effonating. I can’t.” I stifled a scream as his fingers touched an open wound on my arm. He released me and I curled back into a ball with tears running down my cheeks.

He kneeled over me asking, “How do I fix it?”

Although I was in so much pain that everything was spinning, that question broke through the agony. I glanced at him. The expression on his face was odd. It was like he enjoyed watching me writhe, but that he needed me to stop for some reason. Taking advantage of his momentary compassion, I blurted out the things he needed. He raised an eyebrow at the milk, but did it anyway. When he
drizzled
the slop over me, it burned and hissed. Slowly, the pain subsided as my skin regrew. Lying on my back, I stared up at a ceiling and wondered where we were.

Then I looked at Eric, confused. “Why’d you heal me?” I asked sitting up, and he backed away from me.

The anger that lined his face returned. “You can’t die by accident. When I kill you, you’ll know. And that I want to watch for a long time. Not some shitty effonation wounds.” He gestured toward me.
 
He walked across the room and sat down. Slowly, I realized where we were; or at least in part. The carpet that I was laying on was musty and had one of those unidentifiable brown patterns on it. The single bed in the room had an equally heinous bedspread, which Eric sat on as he looked down at me. A sink and dingy mirror were at the back of the room. He’d taken me to a hotel room somewhere.