Torrid Affair (15 page)

I chuckled and shook my head. “I didn't fuck Delaney at the Easter bash. I didn't return your phone call because I was locked in my room, so sick that Stu had to go to the clinic and pick me up a Z-Pak. That's why I didn't return your calls.
And
because I dropped my phone in the sink.”

“That’s a good excuse. You couldn’t ask Stu to pick up a new phone for you?”

“I didn’t call you for what? Thirty-six hours? You didn’t hear from me for a day and a half, and
that
was enough for you to doubt me completely? You automatically think I’m making excuses? I was sick!” My voice grew with anger.

“You fucked her! She came home and told me everything!” People were beginning to stare in our direction.

“I didn't fuck Delaney at that party. “My head shook and anger swooshed between my ears. “I was fucking sick as a dog, Brielle. But I fucked her last night after I saw you with my brother.”

She paused for a second, her eyes scanning mine as the words registered in her head. “What?”

“If you would’ve given me the benefit of the doubt and answered me when I called you back, when I emailed you, when I showed up at my brother’s house, this could've all been avoided.”

“Bastard.” Her words were like venom. “You're telling me it's my fault that you tripped and fell inside her pussy?”

“No.” I shook my head. “It's your fault that you broke my heart the second you got on top of his dick.”

I watched as her eyes glistened with unshed tears. “I didn't break your heart. You broke mine. I was the stupid one who trusted you to begin with.”

“No, Brie. You were the one who chose to believe your roommate instead of coming to me. You were the one who sat on top of Julian and, once Edwin opened the door, you didn't even budge. You were the one who ruined this.”

She slammed her laptop shut. “Really?” A tear dripped down her cheek and instantly my anger faded away. “A kiss is forgivable. I kissed your brother because I was hurt. And since I hurt you, did you only kiss Delaney?” Her voice broke and she shook her head. “No, you fucked her.”

It was my turn to remain quiet. She wiped away the tears that slid down her cheeks. “You know, the funny thing is I never had sex with your brother, even when I was his girlfriend. I couldn't have sex with him because all I wanted was you. But even when you were with Delaney, you fucked her, so I guess fucking her now was like riding a bike.” I wanted to reach out and hug her, but she was too upset. “Don't sit here and tell me I ruined us. Because we were ruined the second you started dating her.” She shoved her things into her bag and stood to leave, but I grasped her arm.

“Wait.” I tried to stop her. “Wait! Wait! I fucked up. We can fix this. It didn’t mean anything.”

“Is this where you tell me you thought of me the whole time?”

“Fuck, Brie.” My hand ran through my hair nervously. “I was hurt, pissed off, and drunk out of my face. You have to forgive me, you gotta understand. I thought—”

“Don't touch me,” she sobbed. “You didn't come here to apologize. You came here for revenge. You came here to tell me that you slept with her. You wanted to even the score. You see, Nate, you and I are very much alike in some ways because that's what I wanted to do last night with Julian. I wanted to sleep with him so you’d know how much you hurt me. But I couldn't go through with it because I'm a fool who thought we were in love.”

“Brie, I was drunk.”

“So was I, but I still didn't fuck him.” She tugged on her arm, but I couldn't let her go. It felt as if she was slipping from my grasp and I would lose her completely.

“Don't leave.”

“Let go of my arm or I'll scream.” Her gaze was locked on mine, and I could see the hatred in her eyes.

I gradually released my grip and watched as she slipped away. I did the only thing I could not to lose her.

I followed her.  

I
wandered aimlessly
for what seemed like hours. I didn't know where to go or what to think, but as long as one foot was in front of the other, everything else was a complete blur. My heart ached and the tears wouldn’t stop streaming down my face.
How had I been so stupid?
My own insecurities had me acting like a child, and it was my own doing that led him straight back to her arms.

That realization only made me sob harder.

His words ran over and over in my head. I didn't know what to feel. Could I be mad at him for being with Delaney?

Yes.

No.

Who the fuck knew?

I had given him the knife to stab my own heart. That I knew.

My feet throbbed as I lapped the campus for the fourth time. Needing to escape the hell I was in, I got in the car and slammed my hands on the steering wheel.

“Damn you!”

I hated that I had fallen so deeply for him. Never had I loved so deeply. So profoundly. And the more I thought about it, the angrier I grew.

Thirty minutes later, I pulled into Lake Norman. This time, the sky was crystal blue and the trees were blooming as spring was upon us, but I felt cold, dark and hurt. Parking near the water, I got out of the car and sat at the edge of the lake. The water was cool and calm as I reflected on my life. I had been steady and serene most of life, just like this lake. My father, my mother, and my entire childhood had all been boulders that made a tremendous splash, but with time, the ripples all evened out. Now, I felt like the ocean in the middle of typhoon with wild and disastrous winds destroying everything in its path.

My hands brushed the soft grass until I found a small stone. I held it firmly between my fingers the way Nate taught me and threw it in the lake. It only bounced once before it sank to the bottom. My eyes filled with tears.
Could I do anything right?

“You're doing it wrong.” I heard Nate's voice behind me.

My vision blurred with tears as I sat motionless and hoped it was all in my head; that he wasn't really here. But when he lowered himself beside me, there was no denying that the man who held the key to my heart was right where I needed him.

Neither of us said a word for long moments as we quietly watched the calm body of water. I hugged my legs and rested my chin on my knees. I prayed for the tears to stay in, but the traitorous fucks decided to pour out anyway.

Nate draped his arm over me and pulled me toward his chest.

“Shh,” he whispered and kissed the top of my head, but that only made me cry more.
Why had I been so stupid?

After a few minutes, my tears subsided and I pulled away, keeping my head lowered.

“Talk to me,” he said, finally breaking the silence.

“What is there to say?” My voice was low and hoarse, my gaze refusing to pull away from where the lake and shore met.

“Say anything.”

“It's karma.”

“What is?” I felt his body shift toward mine.

“I'm being punished for what I did to Julian and Delaney. This is my payback.”

“Don't say that.” He pulled me into his arms. “It was a misunderstanding.”

I shook my head. “And where do we go from here. We make pretend that you didn't sleep with her?”

Nate waited a few seconds before he responded. “I guess you're right.”

I knew I was right.
There was no way I could get over this. Him being with Delaney was a thick pill to swallow.

“We can be friends,” I suggested. It was a lie. We could never just be friends.
Never.

“I don't want to be your friend. I love you too damn much.”

“Nate.” I shook my head as new tears threatened to fall.

“Brie.” He said my name gently and cupped my face. “We were never conventional. And nothing can come between us that will make me stop loving you any less. It might take time for us to get over this bump but we
will
get over it.”

I nodded. My heart was in knots and every fiber in my soul was petrified, but I loved this man more than anything. I knew he was right.  

Closing my eyes, I prayed we would overcome this.

T
he friendship
I had with Delaney instantly changed.

It was funny how a man could come between two girls. In a blink of an eye, things seemed completely different. At first, I blamed myself for everything. It wasn't her fault I fell in love with him, but then I realized she lied to me. She told me she spent the night with Nate, and I later discovered that wasn’t true.
Why lie?
What else had she lied to me about?

It burned like hell when I walked into my dorm room after my conversation with Nate. The images of them together would forever haunt me. It wasn't her fault I fell in love with him, but our friendship had shifted. There were too many lies between us now, and when you can't confide in your best friend . . .

“You've been gone all day.” Delaney hit the mute button on the TV when I walked in.

“Finals are approaching,” I said with a sigh.

“I thought we could study together.” She looked up at me with hopeful eyes. “Go to the diner and drink so much coffee we’re up all night.” She shifted her feet and sat on them. Delaney knew all my deepest, darkest secrets, yet in that moment she felt like a complete stranger. “You know, like we always do.”

“Sorry. I was helping other people study.” I strolled across the room and dropped my heavy body on top of my bed.

My eyes were closed, but I heard her moving toward me. “I have to tell you what happened to me last night.” My eyes flew open.

I held my hands up to stop her from continuing. I didn't want the details of her and Nate’s sexcapades. “Can we talk about it another time?” She stopped dead in her tracks, confusion spread across her face. I’d never said no to her. “I'm really drained and I don't feel very well.”

“Oh, okay.” She sat on the edge of my bed. “Do you want me to grab you something to eat?”

“No.” I covered my eyes with my forearm as tears threatened to fall again. “I don't have much of an appetite. I just really want to sleep.” Shifting on my side, I faced the wall. The painful tears that had threatened began to stream down my face. I couldn't stop the hurt. There was so much pain in it all that I needed a few more days to get back to normal.

A few more weeks.

* * *

N
ate
and I took things slow.

Extremely slow.

It was probably the way we should have done things to begin with instead of jumping into bed together. There were days when it hurt like hell, and sometimes I needed a few minutes to myself, but in the end we had an undeniable gravitational pull toward one another, and no matter what, we would get through this.  

Still, other things had changed.

He wouldn’t kiss me on the lips. It seemed to be a trigger for both of us. I’d remember him with her and he would shake his head and mumble Julian’s name. He could hug me for long periods of time but his lips would only touch the top of my head. At first, every time he hugged me, images of him and Delaney flashed in my head, but I soon realized I had two options: I could be depressed and cry at every opportunity or I could get over it.

So I got over it.

It had been four weeks since the awful news that Nate and Delaney had been together.

We had gotten over the hump and we were back to our old way of being inseparable. At times I felt Nate was overcompensating for what had come between us. I was over the whole situation and I honestly could say that I loved him even more.

We had grown in the past four weeks.

We were a stronger couple.

And we both agreed that no matter what, in the future we would talk things out before jumping to conclusions.

Finals were rapidly approaching and everyone was busy studying, but Delaney seemed different. If I had to label it, I’d say she was preoccupied. Most mornings I was up early for class, and by the time I finished with my day she wasn't in the room. We were living on opposite schedules and that worked just fine for me.

Until everything changed.

I sat in the lecture hall of my economics class. My pencils were sharpened and I was prepared for my first final. I'd spent most of the past week studying for this particular test. I knew the material. I was confident.

But my phone began to vibrate in my purse.

At first I thought it was nothing, positive it was Nate calling to wish me good luck.

But then it rang again.

And again.

And again.

My nerves began to ball in my stomach. Had something happened? Foolishly, I rushed through the exam. I skipped to every question I knew the answer for and then went back and tried my best to guess the ones I had an issue with.

My phone rang twenty-four times while I took that exam. After handing it to my professor, I yanked my phone out of my purse. I was expecting to see Nate's number on the screen, but instead it was my home phone number. My mother or father had been calling. Most likely it was my father calling to ask for money. Money I never had, but it didn’t stop him from asking. Shoving my phone back in my purse, I pulled out my laptop. If there was an urgent matter, my mother knew email was the best way to communicate.

My mailbox was empty. It wasn't an emergency.

Brushing off my mild panic attack, I made my way through the hallway and toward the common hall where most of the students had gathered for some last minute cramming sessions. It was that time of the year. Most students were high on caffeine and everyone had their faces deep in textbooks. Turning a corner, I noticed Julian sitting at one of the tables. His head was buried in a book, and there were papers scattered everywhere.

“Hey,” I greeted him.

“Hi, Brie.” He smiled back at me. Things between me and Julian had remained the same. After I kissed him and saw Nate at the door, I hopped off his lap and apologized for my actions. I blamed the alcohol. We both laughed about it and our friendship never faltered, though I knew deep down he wanted something more from me. His eyes never lied to me. “How was your exam?” he asked. His hair was disheveled and I imagined he had been up most of the night.

I sighed. “I passed.” I shrugged. “But I don't think I did as well as I hoped.”

“I have one in an hour and I'm trying to cram everything into my brain.” He threw his hands up in defeat.

I smiled at him and pushed the book closer to him. “I'll leave you to it, then. Good luck.”

“Thanks.”

I made my way through the common hall and outside. The air was warm, and late April had the trees filled with green buds. Tugging on the door, I felt my phone vibrating again. Annoyed, I grabbed it. This time it wasn't my home phone number. Instead, a random number I’d never seen flashed on the screen. The area code told me it was from back home. Hesitant to answer, I held the phone in my hand.

Was my douchebag father that desperate?

Wanting to give him a piece of my mind, I flipped the phone to answer it, but it stopped ringing. Before I could hit the call back button, I heard my name and looked up to see Chloe walking toward me.

“I need a
huge
favor,” she said. Her eyes were pinched together, and her hands were entwined as though she was praying.

“Of course, what’s up?”

“Do you still have your notes from when you took biology with Professor Gorve’s?”

I smiled. I'd given Nate all my notes. His tutoring excuse was complete bullshit, but even I had to admit that I took excellent notes, and I refused to let him get anything in that class other than an A. “Actually, I do have my notes. Nate has them at this moment, but I can get them for you.”

“Thank you so much, Brie!” Her shoulders relaxed. “I slacked off for most of the semester and now it’s crunch time.”

“When’s your final?”

“Monday.”

She still had a few days to study. “I'll have them to you right away.”

Chloe's eyes brightened and she wrapped her arms around me. “Thank you, thank you, thank you!”

I laughed, but before I could answer her, my phone vibrated again.

Mother hell!

“I need to get this,” I stated. Chloe nodded and walked away. With a shaky hand, I flipped my phone and answered. And listened. The doctor on the other end of the line spoke, but I couldn't respond.

My knees buckled.

My words lodged in my throat.

“Hello? Brielle, are you still there?”

My piece of shit father was nowhere in sight and I had ignored my mother's calls.

Finding my voice, I responded. “Yes, I'm here. I'll be on the first plane out.”

Without another word, I flipped the phone shut and tossed it in my purse. My flip flops smacked against the concrete, the rubber slapped against the soles of my feet as I ran in the direction of my car. Tears blurred my vision and my heart felt as if it would explode in my chest. My mother was in intensive care, I was thousands of miles away, and my father was gone. When I reached my car, I bent at the waist and emptied my stomach; bile burned my throat.

Unable to think straight, I hopped in my car and drove toward Nate's house. He was the only person who could calm me. He was the anchor I needed to keep me grounded. Within a few short minutes, I pulled into his drive and sprinted across the lawn.

Frantic.

Scared.

Lost.

Nate pulled the door open and I dove toward him. Unable to control myself, I sobbed. He cradled me in his arms. “Brielle, what's the matter? Please, baby, talk to me.”

“My mother . . .” I cried out. “My mom had a stroke.” The realization hit home. My poor mother alone at home trying to call me as she suffered from a stroke. My mother was my everything. I’d never agreed with her actions. I despised that she stayed with my father over the years. But she was my world. I was her little girl; she’d given me countless words of wisdom and had raised me on her own. I realized she never left Brian because she truly loved him. And for the first time in my life, I knew what love really was. Stupid as it may be, love was a powerful son of bitch that you could never tame.

“It's okay.” He held me tighter to his body.

“It's all my fault.” I buried my face in his chest. “She called me and I didn't answer. I wasn't there. No one was there.”

“Shh . . .” He kissed the top of my head. “It will be okay.”

Nate’s embrace soothed me. “I have to go see her,” I whispered.

“I'll go with you.”

His words were like my saving grace. I looked up into his green eyes. “Yeah?” The thought of facing my father petrified me. I had so much hatred toward him, but until my mother chose to leave him there was nothing I could do. He would be in charge of her care, and that thought alone was my worst nightmare.

“Of course.” Nate’s eyes scanned mine and there was no hesitation. He wanted to do this for me.

“I need to get a plane ticket.”

“Okay. I have one final and then I'll meet you at the airport? Is that okay?”

“Oh, God.” I lowered my head. “We have finals. You can't miss finals.”

Nate cupped my face and kissed my lips. “I'll talk to the dean. It’ll be okay, I promise. This is a family emergency. He’ll understand.” He kissed me one last time before I gathered myself and made my way back to my dorm.

* * *

D
elaney was nowhere in sight
. I didn't care to text her. I grabbed my essential items and shoved them in a bag. Maxing out my emergency credit card, I bought two round-trip tickets to Chicago. I immediately felt better. He’d be with me every step of the way. Once I had the confirmation number, I sent him a quick text.

Me: I got the tickets. I'm emailing you the information. I'll see you at the airport. I love you.

Nate: I love you, too. I'll be there.

With my carry-on packed, I waited outside for the cab. The guilt of leaving Delaney without any notice got to me, so I flipped my phone and called her. It rang once before it went straight to voicemail.

“Hey, it's me.” I spoke softly. “My mother had a stroke. I'm on my way to the airport now. I don't know the state she's in, but I should be back soon. I'll call you when I get there.”

The cab pulled up to the curb and I slid my phone into my back pocket. “Where to?” the cabbie asked when he tossed my suitcase in the trunk of his black sedan.