TOTAL ECLIPSE: The Evolution (Sin City Heat Series Book 7) (12 page)

Her eyes tightly closed, Jerra held on to the handrail, welcoming the pleasure as well as the pain when he imbedded himself impossibly deep. Darrell knew just what she needed and how to give it to her. When he eased out until only the head of his dick remained, Jerra’s pussy snapped closed, desperate to keep him inside of her slick, wet heat. She was voracious. Anxious to reach the level she knew he was getting ready to take her to.

“Please,” Jerra whispered. Her center quivered around him in anticipation, gripping his heavy shaft like a vice.

“Please what?” Darrell murmured through gritted teeth, the veins in his taut neck slightly engorged.  He struggled to maintain control but it was a battle he was quickly losing. “What do you want, baby?”

“Everything. Give me everything.” She pulsed over the head of his dick when he refused to give her more, rocking against him with small circles, milking his tip by flexing and contracting her inner muscles. “I want…I need you to fuck me.”

With a drawn out grunt of pleasure that told her that’s what he’d been waiting on, Darrell gave her what she wanted, sheathing himself to the hilt again. Her position rendered Jerra all but immobile and at his mercy. Darrell took full advantage. The muscles in his powerful frame rippled just below the surface. He used his legs to drive into her yielding softness, his hips working vigorously as he tapped away at her spot and beckoned her release.

“This how you want it? Huh?” he demanded, his voice rough and hoarse.

“Yes!
God
yes!”

Moving her as if she weighed nothing, Darrell pulled her down his thick length to meet his upward thrusts for deeper penetration. He stretched her pussy walls to allow himself to reach ultimate depth and fill her to maximum capacity. Darrell grunted furiously with each stroke as wet flesh slapped rhythmically against wet flesh.

“So
tight
, J. You ready to cum for me?”

“Please, please…
please
!”

“Fuck!”

Darrell expertly stroked her fiery core, his dick like a rod of iron. He didn’t stop until simultaneous bolts of pleasure toppled them both over the peaks of unimaginable bliss. A thousand different sensations assaulted her at one time, catapulting her over the threshold and delivering her to a heart-thumping climax.  Her release flowed down Darrell’s dick like a torrential storm and intermingled with the water.

His groan of masculine satisfaction rang out loudly as his seed erupted and spilled into her in hot spurts. Darrell strained to burrow his dick deeper. The shattering release was almost violent, primal in his intensity. He’d never in his life reached this level of fulfillment with anyone other than Jerra. Never.

Long moments later, he eased her down to a standing position. He kept his arms wrapped around her waist in support while she got the strength back in her legs. Nuzzling her neck, he released a drawn out sigh that ended in a gratifying moan. “Definitely one area we’ve never had a problem in, right?”

Jerra’s body went stiff. She tried to remove his arms, but Darrell refused to let her go.

“Hey.” Frowning, he peered down into her face. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing. I’m fine.” Her body language, however, told him she was anything but.

Darrell hesitated before allowing her to slip free so that she could shower. As he lathered his own body with soap, his eyes remained fixed on her, trying to figure out what happened just that fast to cause her to become closed and withdrawn.

When Jerra was finished, she left out of the bathroom without even looking his way. The brief sense of contentment he’d felt all but vanished. Instead of the experience they’d just shared bringing them closer and making things right between them, Darrell had a feeling the two of them were now farther apart than ever.  

CHAPTER 12

Darrell walked into their bedroom just in time to see Jerra cover her naked body with a t-shirt that reached mid-thigh. She glanced at him, noticing he’d pulled his jeans on but left them unsnapped. When she looked away without saying anything, Darrell softly called her name.

“Jerra–”

“Please don’t.” Her tone subdued, she used the towel that had been wrapped around her body to dry her hair.

“I swear I didn’t plan this,” he said in a low voice. “It just…happened. I only came here to talk to you, but that remark you made about Lorenzo set me off. I saw red and…”

“And once again you had to prove how much control you have over me, right? Congratulations. Mission accomplished.” Jerra threw the towel on the bed and finally looked him in the eye. “You might be able to fuck my body into submission, but you’ll never be able to fuck my mind. It’s not going to make me forget everything else.”

“That’s not what I was doing.” Darrell ignored the heated glare she gave him and came closer. Swallowing, he laid it all out on the line. “J., I’ve only been away from you a couple of hours and I can’t stand it. Tell me what I have to do to fix this.”

She tried to turn her head away, but Darrell wouldn’t let her. Placing a hand at her waist, he brought the other one up under her chin and lifted her face to his.

“I know you need time, and I intended to give you that, but I was only in that fuckin’ condo for half an hour before I started going crazy. You and D.J. are all I got, Jerra. You’re my family. I don’t want to be apart from you, even if it’s only for a little while.”

Tears gathered in Jerra’s eyes. “Then why do you keep doing things that push me away?”

Darrell pulled her closer. “I swear to you, I love you and only you. Have since the moment I saw you. I still remember the first day you walked into my club to finalize plans for Aleesha’s bachelorette party. When I saw you on the security monitor, you caught my eye right away.”  A slight smile lifted the corners of his lips. “I tracked your fine ass all the way from the entrance, up the elevator, and to my manager’s office. I couldn’t get there fast enough to find out who you were.”

Jerra sniffed, but her eyes softened as she thought about that day. “You walked in just as cocky as ever. I remember thinking how much I hated arrogant pretty boys like you.”

White teeth flashing, Darrell threw his head back and laughed. “Yeah, you shot me down in true Jerra St. James fashion, and that fascinated the hell outta me. That’s why I didn’t want Jake to tell you I was the owner of
Club Ecstasy
.”

Jerra shook her head. “You were so wrong for that, coming to Aleesha’s party and pretending to be a stripper.”

Darrell truly looked offended. “Pretending? I hadn’t danced in years but still pulled in more than the other dancers at the party that night. No ‘pretending’ about it. Eclipse is still talked about to this day at
Club Ecstasy
. Betta recognize a legend and acknowledge greatness.”

Jerra rolled her eyes but couldn’t stop the smile that tugged persistently at her lips.

“See?” Darrell teased when he saw it. “You can’t even deny it, can you?”

“I guess not.”

“And you wanted me just as much as I wanted you, didn’t you?” Darrell’s voice lowered to an intimate level that was so seductive, it wrapped around them like a warm, fuzzy blanket. “The chemistry was off the damn charts between us from the very beginning.”

Jerra swallowed as she looked up at him. “Still is,” she admitted.

Darrell let out a long breath. He lowered his lips a bit until they hovered over hers. The tension around them lingered, suspended in the air, only now it was a tension of a different kind.

Darrell stared at her through eyes that were hazy with love and lust for her. “I don’t wanna lose what we have, Jerra. Do you?”

Jerra brought her hands up and placed the palms flat on his hard chest. Darrell’s pecs jumped at the contact.

She licked her lips. “We moved so fast, Darrell. Sometimes I think we may have moved a little bit
too
fast. We were married and expecting a baby three months after we met…”

He shook his head. “I don’t wanna hear that. Things turned out the way they were supposed to. Don’t ever doubt that. So I’m asking you again, are you gonna help me fight to keep it? Do you even want to?”

“I…” Jerra paused for a moment before continuing. “About Lorenzo. He was just a good friend, but that’s all.”

Darrell released the breath he’d been holding and nodded.

She gazed deeply into his eyes for a long, searching moment. “Darrell, you called her for a reason.”

Darrell threw his head back and briefly closed his eyes. He thought they were getting somewhere but obviously they were still on two different pages. “Jerra…”

“No, listen to me. I…I believe you when you say you called her to get information about the Pattels. I do.”

Darrell’s lips parted in surprise. Hope flared in his eyes, but not for long.

“But…” With that one word, Jerra extinguished his growing enthusiasm. 

Darrell’s frown was instant. “But what?”

“I feel like there’s a reason why you keep holding on to her, why you won’t let go, why even now, your first instinct was to call her instead of coming to me. And it’s not because I think you’re still in love with her,” Jerra hurried to say when he started to protest. “I know you love me.”

“Then…baby, I don’t understand where you’re goin’ with this. I’m tryin’, I really am.”

Jerra bit her lip in consternation. She already knew what his reaction would be about the suggestion she was going to make, but at this point, Jerra didn’t know what else to do.

“I think you should talk to someone.”

Darrell’s body grew rigid underneath her hands. He didn’t move an inch, but she felt him withdrawing mentally. She licked sudden dry lips with the tip of her tongue before rushing to finish.

“I know we’ve discussed this a couple of times, but–”

Scowling impatiently, Darrell cut her off with a shake of his head. “Yeah, and my answer is the same now as it was then. Jerra, I ain’t layin’ on nobody’s couch while they poke around at the thoughts in my head.”

He stepped back and gestured to himself with a charming grin that usually allowed him to get his way. “I’m great, baby. The dysfunctional people responsible for bringing me into this world are the ones with the problem.”

Jerra knew he was deliberately trying to make light of the situation, but she couldn’t help but notice the strain on his face. “I agree. And because of that you grew up with some serious issues, which is understandable.”

“Issues?” He spat the words out in distaste. “So what, you think I’m crazy now?”

“Of course not! You know that’s not what I mean. But I do think you have some abandonment issues that you need to talk about and work through…especially after today.”

Darrell bit down on his lip and laughed under his breath, but didn’t say anything as Jerra forged ahead.

“You’re the one who convinced me to go into therapy when we first got married.”

Chin tilted upwards, he leveled her with a long side-stare. “That was different. You went through hell growing up, and while my childhood wasn’t somethin’ out of a fairy tale, I didn’t have to live through what you did because of your step-father.”

Darrell’s face was tight with fury, but Jerra saw the fear he’d felt for her as well.

“Earl was scum. I saw the terror on your face when you introduced us. If I hadn’t listened to that little voice inside my head that told me to go back to your condo…if I’d continued on to the airport…” His eyes ran over her, lost in memories of that day he found Earl attacking her. “I just wish the hell I could’ve been there to witness him drawing his last breath in prison. Hell, I wish I could’ve slit his throat myself instead of…”

He let the sentence trail off, but Jerra knew what he’d been about to say. They’d never actually talked about Earl being murdered in prison, but Jerra knew Darrell was responsible for arranging it. She didn’t know how he’d done it, and she didn’t care. She was just glad Earl was dead. Eventually, he would have gotten out and once he did, Jerra had no doubt he would’ve found her again and started terrorizing her the same as before. God forbid that would have ever happened, especially with Giselle in her life now.

She watched as Darrell turned away to compose himself. He’d proven to her that he would do anything to protect her, protect his family; she would do no less for him. That’s why she wanted him to find a way to make sense of the circumstances that caused the emotional scars he carried around before they destroyed them.

“I’m so grateful that you encouraged me to talk to someone, Darrell. It didn’t happen overnight, but eventually, I healed and came to terms with my past. I just want you to do the same.” She paused, hesitant to say her next words, but she’d been thinking about it a lot and wanted to share it with him. “I think one of the reasons you possibly cling to Roni is–”

He shot her a look mixed with anger, outrage, and incredulity. He was trying to hold it together, but could feel himself on the verge of exploding, and God knows he didn’t want to do that.

“Jerra, stop. I don’t
cling
to Roni. Damn. Come on, now.”

“Okay, let me rephrase that. I think one of the reasons you can’t completely cut ties with her is because she represents a time when you truly felt loved for the first time in your life. Loved and safe.”

Darrell started pacing back and forth, his discomfort clearly evident. Jerra was pushing him and he needed her to stop because the turbulence churning around inside of him was building up to a colossal disaster. He could feel it.

He struggled to keep his voice calm. “Why are we even discussing this? I more or less admitted that to you when I told you about my past with her, and that’s exactly what Roni is. My past. Please leave her there. Stop trying to find a more complex meaning behind me calling her. Believe me, it’s not that deep.”

Jerra shook her head sadly. “You’re missing my point. I’m trying to tell you–”

“Will you just stop!” Chest heaving, Darrell glared at her through eyes which were now dark with emotion. Knotting his hands into fists to stop the trembling. “What do you want me to say, Jerra? Huh? Exactly what is it you want to hear?”

Jerra saw the pain shielded behind his anger and irritation. “I want you to talk to me. Tell me how you feel instead of keeping it locked inside all the time. Even now, as close as we are, there’s still a part of you I can’t reach. The wounds are still there, Darrell. They’re real. You need to understand the cause of them first before you can accept your past and heal. If you don’t, the pain is going to stay with you and you’ll never be free of it. If you can’t talk to me, or even Marcus, I just think it’s time to seek outside help.”

Squinting at her through narrowed eyes, Darrell nodded before taking several steps backwards. “Okay. You wanna know how I feel? What I’m thinkin’? Fine. This is what I think. When a child is born a mother automatically loves and protects that child, right? You’ve been one of the best examples I’ve ever seen of that. I came into this world knowing I wasn’t loved, wasn’t wanted. Tina couldn’t wait to unload me off to that orphanage and forget I ever existed. After a while, I just said fuck her. I simply tried not to care anymore.”

“But you did care,” Jerra interjected softly.

Darrell’s jaw clenched in agitation. “I saw her once when I was ten or eleven. Or at least I think I did.”

Jerra looked at him in surprise. “Where? I mean, I knew you’d found her before you left to come to Las Vegas, but…”

“It was brief. I was on a field trip to the zoo with the orphanage. Marcus and me missed the last one because I’d done something or the other to earn a punishment–as usual–so I wasn’t allowed to go. Even though Marcus had been talkin’ about that damn trip for weeks, if I wasn’t goin’, neither was he.” A short chuckle escaped Darrell as he shook his head. “Even then, the loyalty the two of us had to each other was crazy strong. The next time we had a chance to go, he all but told me he was gonna kick my ass if I messed it up again,” he laughed. “The last trip he’d had with his parents and sister had been to the zoo, so he wanted to go bad. It was hard, but I stayed on my best behavior, much to the surprise and probably dismay of the nuns.”

“You were allowed to go on the trip this time?” Jerra asked.

“Yep. It was cool. I acted like I was bored as fuck, but I enjoyed it. First time I’d ever been. I remember thinking that it was the best day of my life…but it didn’t last long. We were in line to get ice cream. That’s when I saw her. She was with her husband and a baby that I now know was Gabby. I hadn’t seen my mother in over five years, but I knew it was her. I had an old picture that I’d brought to the orphanage with me, kept it hidden in a shoebox under my bed. She still looked the same, only more beautiful.”

Darrell bit down on his lip as he was transported back to that particular day. He remembered how his heart had started beating rapidly in his chest. He’d felt light headed because he’d been holding his breath the entire time. Excitement mingled with disbelief. He was looking at his mother. His mom. She seemed so…happy. The three of them looked like a normal family. She and her husband had been laughing at something Gabby had done. It was clear from the expressions on their faces that they adored her. All Darrell had been able to think about was maybe…maybe she wanted him now. Maybe he could be a part of the family too.