TOTAL ECLIPSE: The Evolution (Sin City Heat Series Book 7) (13 page)

“I stood there staring at her for what seemed like the longest time. When they started to walk away, I didn’t even realize I’d started moving towards them until Marcus called my name. The nuns grabbed my arm, but I jerked away and kept walking. It took three or four of them to pull me back and subdue me.” Darrell cleared his throat and blinked. “Let’s just say it wasn’t pretty after that. I fought them for everything I was worth to get to my mother, but those were some strong ass nuns.” He laughed but the sound came out hollow and bereft. “I screamed for her as loud as I could, called her by her full name. There was no way she didn’t hear me, but…” Darrell shrugged. “I don’t know, maybe she didn’t. Hell, maybe it wasn’t even her because she just kept walking.”

“Oh, Darrell.” Jerra took a step towards him to give him comfort, but Darrell shook his head for her to stop as he continued.

“You know, when Marcus talked about his family, I would sometimes pretend that they were mine too. Sometimes, I was even able to convince myself that the memories Marcus shared with me were my own experiences. Some days, I could almost swear I remember playing catch with his father or laughing as his mother took me to football practice…or….or teasing Alexis and gettin’ in trouble.” He looked at Jerra with so much sorrow in his eyes that she almost broke down. “Crazy, huh?”

At that exact moment, their attention was caught by a movement at the door. Seeing Tina standing there, Darrell’s lips parted to ask her if everything was okay. Then it hit him. She’d heard what he just told Jerra. The look of guilt on her face told him everything. He stared at her with a mixture of shock and disbelief.

“It was you, wasn’t it? You…you saw me that day. Didn’t you?” he asked in a thick, raspy voice. When she didn’t answer, Darrell walked a couple of steps closer. “You saw me and…and you didn’t even say anything? Just…walked away?”

Tina’s throat worked as she struggled to get the words out. “I…I wasn’t sure at first. I’d only caught a glimpse of you in the group of children you were with. I convinced myself it couldn’t possibly be you. Then…then I saw you in line to get ice cream and caught you staring at me.”

Darrell nodded and inhaled a shaky breath. “I knew I wasn’t crazy. I thought I saw you look at me. Didn’t you hear me calling you?”

She hesitated before nodding in a nervous gesture. “Yes. So did my husband. I managed to convince him that he was mistaken. Darrell, he wouldn’t have understood, so I…I just…walked away.”

Darrell shook his head, calling himself every kind of fool he could think of. He admitted he’d been tempted to believe Tina had changed, but people as selfish and self-centered as her never did. Something inside of them wouldn’t allow them to.

“Swear to God, every time I think my opinion of you is at its lowest point, you surprise me and lower it even further.” The loathing Darrell felt for her burned brightly in his eyes.

“It was a long time ago. I wish you could just let it go.” Tina advanced into the room and reached a hand out as if to touch Darrell’s shoulder, but he glared in warning until her hand slowly lowered to her side.

Long strides carried him to his bureau where he yanked a drawer open. Snatching the first shirt his hand touched, he shot Tina a look that practically secreted venom as he pulled it on.

“Let it go, huh?” he muttered. “Yeah. I’mma do just that. Maybe that bullshit about hearing his version of events might not be bullshit after all. Ain’t that somethin’?”

Wariness crept into Tina’s eyes. She glanced at Jerra with a question in her eyes then looked back at Darrell. “Who are you talking about?”

“Pattel. My ‘father’,” Darrell said in a voice full of sarcasm. “Cocky mu’fucka actually had the balls to call himself that too.”

Tina blanched. “You spoke to him, to Isaac?” she whispered.

“When?” Jerra fired the question at him right behind Tina’s.

“At Angel’s. He called Lorenzo. A part of me was curious so I got on the phone to talk to him.”

Darrell studied Tina long and hard as if trying to see beneath the deceptive layers she chose to show them. “What’s wrong? Look like you’ve seen a ghost,” he taunted. “Since it seems like you have an idea of what he said, is there somethin’ you wanna tell me?” 

CHAPTER 13

Tina’s chin lifted a notch at his mocking tone. “I’ve already explained to you the type of man Isaac Pattel is. I don’t know what he told you, but you can’t believe anything he says.”

“Funny, he says the same thing about you,
Mother
.” Darrell couldn’t help but grin at the term. Just associating the title to Tina was as amusing to him as Isaac addressing himself as Darrell’s father. “In fact, he says he has proof that you’re not telling the truth. But I said,
my
mother? A
liar
? Nahhhh.” His insult was not lost on Jerra or Tina. “He saw I wasn’t convinced, though. Wants me to come to New York so that he can show it to me.”

If possible, Tina’s complexion seemed to pale even more. “You can’t do that!”

Darrell shifted his feet, planting his long legs wide. Biceps bulging underneath the material of his shirt, he clasped his hands in front of him, his burning gaze never leaving her for one second.

“Why not?” he asked quietly. “What are you afraid he’ll tell me?”

Normally Jerra would’ve stepped between them by now, but she stayed back and decided to let things play out. It was past time for them to get everything out in the open. Besides, she saw the same thing Darrell obviously did: Tina was hiding something. She wanted to know what.

“You look so much like him right now it’s almost scary,” Tina whispered.

Darrell’s eyes had all the warmth of an overcast sky on cold, bitter day. “I’m going to ask you again. What aren’t you telling me?”

Tina’s eyes went to Jerra. Her lips tightened when her normally supportive daughter-in-law made no effort to intervene. “Does the past even matter anymore, Darrell? We’re on our way to becoming a family, aren’t we? Don’t let Isaac destroy all of that.”

Darrell blew out a half laugh. “He can’t destroy a damn thing if he’s tellin’ lies, can he? That’s what I’m havin’ a problem with. I’m not stupid. If he’s not tellin’ the truth, you have nothin’ to be worried about, right? So what I want you to do is tell me he’s lying. Look me straight in my face and swear to me he’s lying about what he said.”

Tina stared into eyes that were identical to her own. Her lips parted to do as he requested, but…she couldn’t.

When she merely looked away in silence, Darrell let out a string of colorful curses. Pulling his gaze away from her, he looked back at Jerra while jabbing a finger in Tina’s direction. “You wanna know why I’m so fucked up? Why I have issues, as you put it? You lookin’ at the reason right there. She’s why.”

The sudden coolness in Tina’s voice matched Darrell’s. “I suppose I don’t get a chance to tell my side?”

“Your side?”
Darrell stared at her in disbelief. “I thought that’s what you’d done. Now you want to change your story? Tha’ fuck outta here.”

“Darrell.” Jerra’s voice was quiet, but the admonishment could still be heard.

Running a hand down the back of his hair, Darrell walked towards the window on the far side of the room, staring out of it without really seeing anything. He fought to control the explosive energy surging throughout his body, but it was getting harder with every second that ticked by.

Jerra was right, she knew practically everything there was to know about him, but when it came to opening up about his feelings regarding certain parts of his past, he was quick to shut her out. He’d dealt with Tina’s abandonment by
not
dealing with it, internalizing the hurt and the anger, forbidding anyone from even mentioning her name for years.

He always told himself he didn’t care to know who his father was, but it was natural to be curious. When Tina finally gave him a name, his heart had sped up for a few brief moments. It had taken thirty-four long years, but he finally knew his father’s name. Not only that, but he had a brother… ironically, a brother that both his mother and his father had wanted desperately.

Darrell bowed his head and tried to swallow the lump in his throat. He flinched as his thoughts took him in an even more painful direction: Why didn’t they want
him
like that? What was so bad about
him
that they didn’t want him the way they had Lorenzo? As hard as it was to admit it, he agreed with the haunting voice that whispered the answer in his ear that they hadn’t wanted him because he wasn’t good enough. It was as simple as that.

His hands flexed open and closed.
He wasn’t good enough. He wasn’t good enough.
 
He…wasn’t…good…enough
. The words repeated themselves in his head like an energetic drum cadence, gaining volume and momentum until something inside of him snapped. Turbulent emotions he’d kept buried deep down inside came barreling to the surface.  A harsh, raw sound unfurled from his throat. Rearing back, he slammed his fist into the wall in frustration, pounding it again and again, grunting each time he came in contact with it.

“Darrell, stop it!
Darrell
!”

He ignored Jerra’s horrified screams, welcoming the physical pain because it gave him something else to focus on; it would eventually heal. But the emotional and psychological pain…not so easily. The things, or rather, people, who contributed to it–namely Tina and Isaac–were irreversibly connected to who he was. They’d both had a hand in shaping his past and were factors in his present. He didn’t want them to continue to influence his life like that. He wouldn’t let them.

“Darrell,
please
!”

Finally, the fear in Jerra’s voice penetrated the haze of fury that surrounded him, allowing his present surroundings to replace the past he’d been momentarily swept up in. Breathing heavily, Darrell blinked and stared at the massive hole in the sheetrock with a sense of satisfaction. His eyes went to his fist, which was smeared with blood from multiple cuts and abrasions. The persistent throbbing in it told him that it was going to hurt like hell in a few minutes. Good. That he could deal with.

He glanced at Jerra as she hurried to his side. Her fingers trembled as she lightly touched his hand. “Why did you do that? It’s probably broken.” She grabbed his arm and tried to steer him towards the bathroom while frantically calling out to Tina over her shoulder, “Can you please go and put some ice in a towel and bring it up here?” She turned back to Darrell. “As soon as I get dressed I’m taking you to the emergency room.”

“I don’t need any ice.” Darrell threw the words at Tina in a cold voice, but she rushed out of the room to get it anyway.

Hissing impatiently at Jerra’s hovering, he pulled his arm away as gently as he could. He must have been way off the mark, because she lifted a sculpted brow and glared at him in reproach.

Darrell swallowed a sigh and tried to get a grip on his temper. Though the evening had taken a positive turn a little while ago, it had gone to shit real quick. Should’ve listened to that little voice of warning in his ear and kept his ass at the condo, that’s what he should’ve done. Closing his eyes tightly, he pinched the bridge of his nose with his undamaged hand and tried again in as calm a voice as he could manage.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to…I don’t need to go to the emergency room. I’ll just wrap it up. It’ll be fine.”

“But it might be broken.”

Darrell opened his hand with great caution. He let out a stifled curse because it hurt like a mothafucka, but he downplayed the pain to Jerra. “It’s not broken.”

“But–”

“I said it’s fine, Jerra.” He glanced at the doorway where Tina had been standing just seconds ago. The muscles in his jaw twitched as he thought about her lies. He needed to leave. He didn’t even want to look at her right now, and if he saw the slightest hint that she was even
thinking
about saying something to him…

“I’m outta here.” Darrell started towards the door.

“Darrell, will you just wait a moment?” Jerra hurried after him, half running to keep up with his long strides. She held on to the handrail as she flew down the stairs after him. “Darrell, please wait.”

“Nah, I gotta go because if…” He paused as Tina came hurrying from the direction of the kitchen. When she saw him, her steps slowed until she stopped.

The two of them stared at each other in silence. Darrell blazed a dismissive trail over her that caused her to press her lips together before she cut her eyes away from him. He shook his head in disgust. She had the nerve to be mad at him?

“Trippin,” he muttered as he swung the door opened and stalked out of the house.

Jerra stood in the doorway and watched him get in his car. “Darrell, don’t leave like this. We need to talk.”

“Not tonight, Jerra. I’m givin’ you your space. That’s what you said you wanted, isn’t it?” he snapped, looking back at her. “Matter of fact, I think we both could use some of that.”

He immediately regretted his harsh tone when a flash of hurt showed on her face, but it was quickly replaced with the remote expression she used when she was deliberately trying to distance herself. Recognizing it well, he scoffed and shook his head before slamming the car door shut. He knew he had no reason to be upset with her, but right now…he needed to be alone.

The car purred to life the moment he pressed the keyless ignition. Clenching his teeth at the pain that shot up his arms when he put the car in gear, he screeched out of the driveway and flew down the quiet streets of his gated community. Once he got to the highway, he opened the engine up, accelerating to dangerously high speeds that would no doubt get his ass thrown in jail if he got pulled over by Vegas’ finest buttholes.

They’d have to catch him first
, he smirked as his foot bore down on the pedal. And that wasn’t happenin’.

Darrell drove like a bat out of hell for the next twenty miles or so, trying to talk himself out of the idea forming in his head. However, when it stubbornly took root and showed no signs of dying off, he blew out a long breath, acknowledging the fact that he may as well resign himself to the inevitable.

Taking a sharp right at the next exit, he pulled over to the shoulder of the highway. After putting the car in neutral, he threw his head back against the headrest and tried one more time to expunge his mind of the action he was about to take but it was no use. He wouldn’t rest until he knew the truth. Pulling out his cell phone, he navigated to the text Angel had sent him and Lorenzo. He stared at Lorenzo’s name and telephone number. Before he could change his mind, he placed a phone call that he hoped he wouldn’t come to regret later on.

“Hello?” Lorenzo answered on the second ring. 

“Yeah. It’s Darrell.”

A slight pause after Darrell identified himself was the only indication that conveyed Lorenzo’s surprise. “What’s up?”

“I just called to see if your offer to, ah…” Darrell’s good hand curled up into a fist, but it was too late to turn back now. “I wanted to know if your offer to go back with you to New York was still good?”

It didn’t take Lorenzo but half a second to answer. Even though he was probably shocked as hell at the request, he hid it well. “Of course. What made you change your mind?”

“Just did some thinkin’.”

Lorenzo waited, but when that was the only explanation forthcoming, he said in a slightly amused tone, “Okay. Guess that’ll do it alright.”

Darrell’s words remained brusque. Now that he’d decided to do this, he wanted to move on it. “When are you leaving?”

“Well, I was thinking about staying a couple of more days to talk to Tina, and…” He was quiet when he was interrupted by Darrell’s rude snort. “What’s that all about?”

“Nothin’, man. Let’s just say I doubt if Tina’s gonna be inclined to chit chat since she knows she’s been more or less busted.”

It took a moment for Lorenzo to respond. “What happened?” When Darrell remained quiet, Lorenzo quickly put two and two together. “You told her about the conversation you had with our father. I take it there’s some truth to what he said?”

Darrell scowled. He didn’t know how he felt about Isaac being referred to as
his
father as well as Lorenzo’s, but he decided to let it pass.  “That’s the impression I got. Only one way to find out. If Isaac insists on me coming to New York to tell me his side of this damn nightmare, then now is as good a time as any.”

“When do you want to leave?”

“I’m ready now.”

“Now?” Lorenzo repeated in surprise.

“No time like the present.”

Lorenzo grew quiet on the other end, then asked, “Where are you?”

Darrell hesitated. “Drivin’ around.”

Lorenzo bit back an impatient sigh. Extracting information from Darrell was like pulling teeth but twice as frustrating. “Not much on words when you don’t feel like talking, are you?”

“Nope. When do we leave? If you not ready now, suit yourself. I’ll call and make a reservation for the first flight out.”

“Damn, just wait a minute. I don’t know about right this second, but we should be able to fly out early in the morning. I’ll call my pilot and tell him to get the plane ready.”

“Cool. Call me to let me know what time I need to meet you.”

“You alright, man? You sound kinda tense.”