Touch of Madness (27 page)

“Yes.” His voice was still suspicious, but he couldn’t dispute the truth.

“I only ask that you try to keep my name out of it.” I was being completely honest about that. Because if my name was tied to a true cure, people whose loved ones were trapped as Eden zombies would pursue me to the ends of the earth to get my help. There were thousands, maybe even millions of zombies. There was only one of me. He paused and then sighed. “If this cure of yours works, that won’t be possible—no matter what I do. You know that. Researchers are going to want to know how it was done. They’ll want to know how to duplicate the effect. There’s too much at stake—”

I cut him off. “Let’s just see how this first time goes, shall we? So two o’clock, at the front door.”

“I’ll see you then.”

It took a couple of attempts to hit the button to end the call. I was shaking. I was going to do this. Holy crap. I was going to do this. I used the meditation exercises I’d learned from Henri to steady myself. It took a few minutes, but when I hit the number for Michael on speed dial I was almost calm.

After I’d told him my plan, there were more than a few moments of stunned silence. When he finally replied, his voice was shaking—both with hope and incredible excitement.

“If what you’re saying is true, Kate, we could…I mean, you could…how many people would get their lives, their loved ones—” I heard his voice falter again, but not from excitement this time. “But oh dear Lord, there are so very—”

He’s a bright boy. I knew he’d figure it out for himself, so I completed the thought, repeating what I said to Simms.

“So many of them. There’s only one of me, Mike. Saving Rob drained me…a lot. His injuries were only physical, and he was already a wolf, so he could help. I love Bryan, and I need the hospital’s staff, so I’ll help Simms, but—”

Concern for me warred with concern for his charges in his voice when he replied softly. “I understand.” There was a pause and I let the silence flow, allowing each of us to keep our thoughts for a time.

“You need to tell Joe, you know.”

I shook my head, knowing he couldn’t see. “I can’t, Mike. You saw how—”

“You have to, Katie. He has just as much stake in Bryan’s future as you do. He’s a doctor and a good one. He’s read—extensively—on the effects of Eden, and you know it. What if something goes…wrong? Could you live with yourself, knowing he might have had a suggestion that could have prevented it?”

He was right, and I knew it. But I couldn’t imagine how Joe would respond. Would he be excited at the possibility, or think that, yet again, I was meddling in things beyond my ken?

Score one for pessimism, dammit. Even the logical, reasoned speech I’d rehearsed in front of the mirror, to be certain my facial muscles would convey hope and excitement, wasn’t enough.

“You want to what?!” Joe’s voice held so many emotions that I was glad I’d chosen to call, rather than tell him in person. That much emotional overload would beat at my head like a sledgehammer and make the session with Bryan more difficult. Anger flowed into fear, and tumbled over excitement. But he just couldn’t allow that I might actually have enough brains to know what I was doing, so anger won out. “Kate, no! I forbid this. You don’t even know this can work. What if—”

“What if

what, Joe? Just go ahead and say it. What if I kill Bryan? Do you think I haven’t considered the possibilities? I’m not quite that stupid and irresponsible, regardless of what runs through that excuse of a mind you have. Hasn’t it even occurred to you that I wouldn’t have suggested it if I wasn’t pretty damned sure I could bring him back? I want to do this. I have to…at least try.”

His voice grew cold. “I didn’t think you were going to kill him, Kate. But what if you undo the good already done?

You have no way to be positive it’ll increase his cognitive ability. Damn it, he recognizes me, Kate! He smiles when I walk in the room. He laughs at cartoons and—” There was a pause and I heard coughing and a short snuffle that told me Joe was tearing up nearly as much as I was because, yes, that was one of the possibilities I’d considered.

“Fuck it. Do what you’re going to do. I know you will anyway.”

He slammed down the phone, leaving me to rock on the couch in silent, angry tears, wondering if I was going to lose both brothers if anything went wrong this afternoon.

21

« ^ »

A white van emblazoned with the words “Our Lady of Perpetual Hope” pulled up to the curb. Mike was at the wheel. Bryan was bouncing up and down in the passenger seat. Tom opened the sliding door for me, then froze, an expression close to horror on his face.

“What?” I peered around him to see Mary Connolly sitting primly on one of the back seats.

“What in the hell—” I started to protest, but she interrupted me.

“Look, I don’t want to be here any more than you want me to, but Joe couldn’t get off work on such short notice, so he asked me to be here. It’s important enough to him that I said yes. So can we all act like grown-ups for the duration?”

The way she said it made it sound like she’d been rehearsing that little speech for the past couple of hours. Maybe she had.

I looked at Tom. He gave me a small nod and helped me get in.

I was wearing the coral suit again, this time with a cream colored shell and pearls. Somehow jeans and a tee-shirt hadn’t seemed right for the occasion. I wasn’t the only one who felt that way either. Mary was in a navy business suit. Tom had opted for gray dress slacks and a black dress shirt with the collar left unbuttoned. The only one dressed informally was Bryan. He wore a Notre Dame sweatshirt over faded blue jeans.

“Hi, Ka-tie! Hi, Tom! We’re going to the hospital, huh? But this isn’t one of the bad trips. It’s a good trip—right, Father Mike?”

“Right, Bryan.” Mike answered with a smile. But the way his fingers were moving on the steering wheel told me he was trying hard not to get up his hopes.

I was so nervous I was nauseous. Tom had tried to get me to eat, but I couldn’t even bear the thought of food. Not right now. Funny, I could face a lunatic wanting to kill me, or a pissed-off vampire just fine, but the thought of trying to cure my brother and possibly failing terrified me. I sat between Mary and Tom, shaking like an aspen leaf in a strong wind. It was bad enough that the seat was actually squeaking.

Don’t let me fail. Dear God, please don’t let me fail.

Tom’s hand found mine, and he gave it a gentle squeeze. “It’s all right, Kate. It’s going to be fine.” His voice was a bare whisper in my ear.

I closed my eyes, fighting not to throw up. I needed to get control of myself or this was never going to work. I just wasn’t sure how.

“I’ve never seen you like this before,” Mary said, with a confused, quizzical note to her voice. “Even when Monica planted those eggs in your arm you weren’t this frightened. Why does this bother you so much?”

Mike spoke before I could. “Because if that had gone wrong, Kate would be the one who suffered the consequences. She’s always worried more about everybody else’s well-being than her own.” His eyes caught mine in the rearview mirror and I squirmed. He was right, but put that way it made me sound all noble, almost saintly. That so wasn’t me. Just ask Father Akins. Not that he’d say anything, secrecy of the confessional and all. Mary sat in stony silence, her back rigid. It was almost impossible not to brush against each other in such close quarters, but she managed it. Nor did she say another word during the entire drive. In fact, the silence got so thick that it was even beginning to dampen Bryan’s spirits, so Mike turned the radio on to my brother’s favorite station—the Disney network—to distract him.

I think all of us were glad when the ride was over and we could climb out and get a little space. Mary took the lead, striding toward the building, her shoes beating an angry tattoo against the concrete sidewalk. Mike and Bryan went after her, leaving Tom and me standing by the van.

“He’s right, you know. You do put everybody else first, even when you shouldn’t. You don’t value yourself nearly enough.”

I started to speak, but he put a finger to my lips. “It’s going to be all right. We’ll go inside. You’ll help your brother and Dr. Simms’s daughter, just like you saved Rob. You were able to do that. You can do this. I believe in you.” He pulled me close, so that my head was pressed against his warm chest. I took a deep breath, luxuriating in the masculine scent of him. I felt him move until his mouth was next to my left ear. When he whispered, the warm air tickled the delicate nerves. When I shivered against him, it wasn’t with fear. “And when all’s said and done, and you’ve saved the day again, the two of us are going to go home and have wild passionate monkey sex to celebrate.”

It made me laugh, which helped. I was still nervous, but it wasn’t the bone-deep terror it had been. I looked up into those sparkling brown eyes and managed to smile. “I’ll hold you to that, buddy boy.”

“I certainly hope so.” He waggled his eyebrows suggestively.

We were laughing and holding hands all the way across the parking lot. “Are you ready?” He gestured toward the front door of the hospital where Simms and a security guard were standing talking to Michael. “They’re waiting.”

“I’m ready.” I didn’t believe that—not for a minute, but ready or not, here we go!

Simms put us in a long, narrow conference room. A pair of security guards flanked the door, each of them in a starched white shirt with pale blue uniform trousers and black shoes that exactly matched the leather of their holsters. I’d looked around before taking one of the few open seats. I hadn’t liked what I saw. Oh, the room was all right for an everyday, sundry meeting. The walls were plain white, without art work or ornamentation. The fluorescent lighting was bright enough, the carpet tasteful in an industrial sort of way. Even the table was nothing spectacular, just a long rectangular table of plain blond wood surrounded by twelve chairs of bent chrome. But there weren’t enough seats for everyone who’d chosen to attend, and I couldn’t figure out why nobody was making an effort to get more. Mike and Mary were forced to lean uncomfortably against one wall, trying to stay out of the line of sight of the video camera that had been set up to record the events. Despite the number of people in the room I was cold. Part of it was physical. Cold air was blasting through the vents in the ceiling. But there was a psychological component, too. The whole setup reminded me forcibly of the illfated meeting with Samantha Greeley, I vaguely recognized one or two of the faces from visiting Joe in the emergency room. Otherwise, the only people I knew were the ones who’d come with me. The various doctors all talked among themselves, their voices muted but taut with excitement. All but two of them kept casting surreptitious glances at me in a way that made my skin crawl.

Bryan was concentrating on the coloring book and crayons Mike had brought for him. Simms’s daughter simply stared into space, a beautiful, vacant-eyed doll of about fifteen, with long dark hair and hazel eyes. Edgar Simms rose, and the murmuring that had filled the room ceased as if cut off with a switch. “Ladies and gentlemen, we’re all busy people. Why don’t I proceed with the introductions, and then we’ll get this meeting moving.”

He gestured toward the man to his left, “This is Dr. Leonard Levy,” he continued, person by person. I didn’t pay much attention. I was trying to focus, find my center.

“Before we get started, I have a few questions,” Dr. Levy said firmly. “As Melinda Simms’s personal physician, I want to know exactly what is about to take place.”

Shit. I smiled sweetly and turned my attention to Edgar Simms. “Dr. Simms, may I have a private word with you?” I rose, scooting my chair back from the table.

“Ms. Reilly—” he started to protest, but I cut him off.

“It will only take a moment.”

Tom gave my leg a discreet squeeze before I stood and gave me a warning look. I smiled, trying to tell him without words that I wasn’t going to do or say anything stupid.

Simms frowned at me, but rose. The nearest security guard opened the door for us and we stepped through it into a nice, empty hallway. The guard followed us through to this side, pulling the door closed behind him. He stood by the door, relaxed but ready, with one hand gripping his other wrist.

“Ms. Reilly,” Simms puffed himself up so that he could look down his nose at me. It was supposed to intimidate me. It didn’t.

“Dr. Simms,” I talked over the top of him. “What in the hell did you think you were doing inviting all these people?”

He opened his mouth to respond, but I waved him to silence. “First off, I thought I made it clear that I wanted to do this discreetly. But more to the point, what I’m trying to do here involves a psychic trance. Just how am I supposed to manage that with an audience? And a hostile audience at that. Do you want this to fail? Because I can nearly guarantee I won’t be able to achieve the proper trance.”

“Ms. Reilly, if this succeeds it will be a hugely important medical breakthrough. From what I understand, you managed to save a wolf’s life during battle conditions. Surely you understand why—”

“No. You understand. I had help when I was trying to save Rob—help I’m not willing, or able, to call on this time. I am not even going to try this until the only people with me in that room are Bryan, your daughter, and one physician. Whether that person is you or Dr. Levy is up to you. You can leave the camera. You can put the security guards outside the door. But I am not going to just sit there and be cross-examined and treated like some kind of criminal.”

“Now see here!” he snarled.

“No, you see here.” I stepped forward until we were standing toe-to-toe. “I came here to help my brother and your daughter. I haven’t asked you for a goddamned thing in exchange. I’m not trying to con you. I’m not doing anything wrong. But let me be perfectly clear when I tell you that I am also not going to be paraded in front of your researchers and subjected to God knows what humiliations. Either that room gets cleared right now or I walk, and you lose your only chance at a cure for Melinda. It’s your choice.”

He glared at me silently for long moments. His breathing was harsh, as though he’d run a long distance. Red anger spots decorated his cheeks. “You’d do it, wouldn’t you? Just walk away and leave your own brother to—”