Touchdown: A Bad Boy Sports Romance (Pass To Win Book 1) (29 page)

My mother doesn’t even turn around as I say my last words to her ….

“One day, when you and Dad are all alone, you’re going to remember the way you treated your children, and what you gave up for the sake of appearances. I hope it was worth it.”

C
hapter
18

Ryan

B
ack and forth
, back and forth, I’m not even bothering to look out the windows anymore. I feel like I have been pacing my apartment for hours and I probably have been. I don’t know how everything went so wrong, so quickly.

Aria and I were heading into unknown waters and I actually felt great. For the first time in my life, I looked forward to waking up and seeing a woman next to me in the bed. More accurately, I looked forward to waking up and seeing Aria in the bed next to me. I never thought this would happen to me. I definitely went into stripping with the idea that it would provide me with a carefree, no-strings-attached, easy lifestyle.

That free-wheeling life is exactly what I had until the night Aria walked into the club. I have danced hundreds of nights for thousands of women and the only woman who has ever mattered to me is Aria.

I still dance for the audience as though I want each and every one of the women in the club but the feeling isn’t the same for me. When I’m dancing, when I’m at the bar, when women are propositioning me, all I can think about is Aria and how she feels when she’s in bed with me. The crazy thing is that it’s not just about the sex. I also really like talking with her and doing regular things like going to the park and out to eat and snuggling up to watch movies. How the hell did I end up so taken with her?

The worst part of it all is that I just let her leave without a word. Instead of telling her what I wanted to, all I said was, “Have a safe flight.”

I wanted to say. “I’ll miss you. I will go to Texas with you. I hope your father will be okay. I love you.”

And there it is, what I’m really feeling. I love Aria and I need her to know that I love her and want her to come home. Her home is here with me. It’s not in Texas and it’s not with people who don’t appreciate and respect her. I had no idea I could feel this passionately about a woman. I want to give her everything. Mind-blowing sex every day of the week and love, care, and respect every second of the day.

Now I just have to figure out how to tell her. Expressing my feelings isn’t something that has ever come easily to me. I find myself in an all or nothing situation with Aria and I’m afraid that I’ll blow it.

I think about flying out to Texas and showing up in person but I worry about her family and her father’s illness. I have not heard from Aria and I’m afraid of showing up when the family is grieving. I’m also afraid that I haven’t heard from Aria because she is mad at me for being so nonchalant when she agreed to fly home with her mom.

What did she want from me? Her mother is an ice queen, and she hardly acknowledged my presence, let alone as a friend and of her daughter’s. However, none of this is important. The only thing that’s important is that Aria knows how I feel about her and that I want to be there for her. But most of all, I want her to come back to New York and be with me.

I decide for the first time in my life that I am going to express myself in a letter. Aria taught me how to make sense of words and writing and I’m going to use this new knowledge to tell Aria how important she is to me.

Hours and many crumpled-up drafts later, I mail off the letter and have nothing left to do now but hope she forgives me and feels the same.

I do my best to keep my thoughts off of Aria and the fact that I haven’t heard anything from her yet by focusing on the lawsuit and what I will do with the money. The lawyers are extremely eager to help me get a settlement from the fire, and I’m anxious to get the whole thing over with. The only other thing that keeps my mind off of her is work. It’s different now though. I’m not as into it as I used to be. Mickey told me to get my shit together or he’s going to move me off the prime rotation. I know he’s right. It’s been a week and I still haven’t heard anything from her. I have been telling myself that silence isn’t an answer but I know it is. I’m done lying to myself.

Tonight, the old Ryan Temptation will be back in the club. I decide to do the routine I was working on when the lawyers came to the door and put all of these events into motion. As I’m getting ready for work, there is a knock at the door and I freeze in place, halfway dressed in my jeans but no shirt yet.
Calm down,
I tell myself. It’s not her. It’s probably just Theresa coming to yell at me for chasing Aria out of New York. I fling the door open ready for Theresa’s barrage of insults but it’s not Theresa.

Aria is standing in front of me and she’s holding my letter in her hand. She looks up at me through her long black lashes with her clear blue eyes and a smile brightens her face. I want to play it cool, act like it’s no big deal that she’s here but I can’t. I pick her up in my arms and meet her lips with mine for a long, deep kiss. Then I carry her through the door like a hero in a romance.

I think of heading straight to the bedroom. This week without her has been pure torture and even though we never discussed our status, I didn’t want to be with any other women. I’m growing hard with her in my arms and breathing in her scent is pure arousal to me.

I know we need to talk though. We have so much that needs to be aired out. There is her family, the future, what we are. But first I kiss her again and she responds just as passionately.

I put her down. “Baby, I’m so happy to see you. I’m so sorry I let you leave like that. I was afraid you wouldn’t come back.” This is so hard to say even though it’s what I wrote in the letter … it’s different with her here in front of me.

“Then you were gone and I couldn’t think without you. Everything that was important to me stopped mattering when you weren’t here with me.”

A tear slides down one porcelain cheek and I wipe it clear with my thumb.

“Don’t cry, baby.”

She still hasn’t said anything. “Is it your dad, did something happen?”

Then it all comes out. How her parents tricked her into going home and she thought I didn’t love her. And she does use the word love and I realize that this is how I feel about her.

“I do love you Aria. I think I have since that first night. I didn’t know what it was and if I wanted to love you. It was all so different from the life I thought I wanted. Carefree, alone, doing whatever I wanted, or didn’t want to do. Then I met you and everything changed.”

More tears cascade down her face and I grab her a tissue.

“I love you too,” she says. And suddenly everything is more than alright; it’s perfect and I know that all I want is Aria and to make her happy and proud of me.

“I told my mom that I’m never coming back to Texas. I told her New York is my home and that I don’t want their money.”

I stroke her hair and smooth it back from her face. I want to tell her that she doesn’t need them but I know now after losing my own parents that it hurts to not have your parents in your life, no matter how distant the relationship may be.

“I also told them that if they can accept my new life and if they can accept you as being part of my life, then maybe we can try to mend the relationship but otherwise, I don’t want to hear from them.”

“You told them that? About me?” I fight the smile that is threatening to break through.

“Yes,” she says not bothering to hide her own smile and she gives me a quick kiss on the lips.

I wipe the last tears from her eyes and cradle her head in my hands. I lean forward and whisper in her ear. “I love you Aria, and I want to be with you and only you.”

She kisses me deeply and runs her hands over my bare chest.

“I love you Ryan, and I’m so glad I waited for you. You’re the only one.”

I lift her up and we go to the bedroom. This time is different than the others. I want it to last forever. I slip my hands under her shirt, slide it up, and off of her. She is wearing a black lacy bra that I’ve never seen before. I nip at her peaked nipple through the lace and she moans in response.

“Such a sexy bra,” I tell her. “Do the panties match?”

I undo her jeans and pull them off of her in one swift movement. Being a stripper does give you some special skills. I stand up so that I can take all of her in.

“You are so gorgeous. I can’t believe how lucky I am that you are mine.” And she
is
gorgeous; silky porcelain skin, long legs, and small high breasts that are begging to be freed from her expensive lingerie. Her hair is spread across the pillow and a flush of arousal is spreading up her neck. I strip down to nothing and roll her panties down and off. A strip of dark hair is glistening with her arousal. My own cock is a hard rod pulsing with desire for her. I spread her legs to reveal her pink lips, already wet for me.

“I can see how ready you are for me.” I run two fingers along her slit and she raises her hips towards me in response. I lick her off my fingers.

“I missed your taste, baby.”

She spreads her legs wider, begging me with her movements to enter her. I need to be in her just as badly as she wants me. I put the tip of my cock at her opening and slowly slide it in. This time there is no resistance. Her warm walls embrace my aroused shaft and she takes me in all the way to the base, my balls tight against her ass. She arches her back and moans in ecstasy. She is ready to come and I am happy to oblige her. I massage her clit with my thumb and pull out and back in steady, slow thrusts. She gasps and bites her lip.

I cup her breasts and roll my thumbs over her pebbled nipples. I unhook her bra and take one her breasts into my mouth. Her skin is burning with an internal heat. Her silken insides grab at me and my own orgasm is building. I can’t hold back any longer and speed up my thrusts. It feels too good to stop as her hips meet my every thrust. Just as I press further into her than I thought possible, my release comes as her own body racks with waves of bliss. I collapse onto her. She wraps her arms tight across my back. We lay like this, our hearts beat in rhythm. And we don’t need to say anything. We are home.

E
pilogue

Aria

T
his last year
still feels like a dream; so much has happened that I never could have predicted. The best part of it is Ryan, but it’s also knowing that I can make my own decisions about my life.

One of the best decisions I’ve made is volunteering again. I realized after helping Ryan learn how to read with his dyslexia that there are lots of adults that have similar difficulties. It is so fulfilling for me to know that I can help them to learn to read and write on their own. It’s great going to the volunteer center and knowing that I’m making a difference in the lives of these people. It’s also wonderful working with Ryan at our own club.

Ryan was able to hold a small memorial for his parents. He asked me for my help, which I gladly gave. I know it must have hit him hard to lose them, but I was with him every step of the way.

I don’t talk to my parents anymore. Not after how they acted, trying to force me into a marriage with a despicable man. I know it was because they cared more about what people in society saw our family as rather than what I cared about. I know if they come asking for forgiveness, I will have to think hard about it. It won’t be easy.

We’ve been living together since the day I came back to him from my parents’ house. I’m so proud of Ryan. That whole time he was dancing, he was saving his money and putting it aside in the bank. He told me he didn’t know what he was saving for but that he knew deep down, even if he pretended he had everything, he wanted to be more than just a dancer.

“Dancing is great,” he says. “But I only want to dance for you now.”

With the money he saved and the money from the settlement for the fire, Ryan and I opened a strip club of our own. Theresa is his assistant manager and I help with the books and had a big say in the decorating.

He had set some money aside to help open up a shelter for the homeless, which was something he always wanted to do. I am so proud of him for being so selfless. He spoke a few times about wanting to get a degree from college. We planned out when he could, since we would be busy with our club for some time, and I think it will definitely be attainable.

Our club is very chic and classy. No neon lights or cheap advertising. It is a lady’s club. Tonight is our opening night and the whole place is humming with excitement. Ryan has been so nervous all day. He left early and told me he would see me tonight at the grand opening. He said he wants me in the audience watching like a guest so that I can give him feedback on tonight’s show.

I put on a short blue silk dress that highlights my blue eyes and shows off my legs. I want tonight to be perfect for Ryan. It’s also a big night for me and Theresa, so I want to look my best.

Sitting at a table in the front, I can’t help but think of the first night I met Ryan, dancing at the club. I feel almost as nervous now as I did then. The club is packed to capacity and the ladies are already having a great time, even though the dancers haven’t come out yet.

The waiters are all wearing low slung tight black pants and are shirtless. They look hot and are doing a good job of keeping the drinks coming and getting the ladies excited for what is to come.

The lights dim and this is the sign that the show is about to start. The audience quiets but there is a hum of anticipation moving across the tables. The music comes on and it’s my favorite song that Ryan dances to. The stage is dark and I can’t tell if the dancers are on the stage yet. I hold my breath. We have so much riding on this. The spotlight turns on and reveals a sole man on the stage. He is in a suit and has a fedora on. When he starts to dance I know instantly that it is Ryan. Nobody else can move the way he does on the dance floor.

I thought he was done dancing and a twinge of disappointment hits me. I know he is anxious about the club being a success but I really believed he was finished dancing for anyone but me.