Touched (20 page)
The finality of his tone made it clear he didn’t want to talk about it, and it hurt more than I would have expected. He wanted everything from me but wasn’t willing to give the same. Taking a step back, I raised my mental walls.
Asher reached for me. “Remy, don’t. It’s not what you think.”
I gave a nonchalant wave. “Don’t stress about it.” Asher wasn’t fooled by my dismissive tone.
“I hurt your feelings, and I didn’t mean to. I’m ashamed of what happened and worried you’ll think less of me when you know the truth. It was a gut reaction.”
“You don’t have to explain. I really do get it.” I aimed a tight smile in his direction.
“No, I don’t think you do.” The soft words whispered into my ear as he turned me to face him again. Embarrassed that my feelings had been so transparent, I stared down at my feet. “You let me in your head and in your memories, but your walls are up higher than ever. You’re still guarding your heart, and I’m terrified I’m going to say the wrong thing, do the wrong thing, and you’ll shut me out entirely. Because eventually you’re going to realize a Healer shouldn’t trust a Protector.” He gave me a slight shake, and I raised startled eyes to his stare. “I’d given up on wanting more. You make me want more.”
Not one word formed on my paralyzed lips. None. When I needed it most, my brain shut down. Asher’s intensity stopped my breath, and I gazed back like the mute, mindless idiot I’d suddenly become. Hurt shadowed his face when I didn’t respond. He turned me loose, and the moment ended.
His expression closed, and he said with a distant civility, “You mind if we head back now? I promised your father I’d get you home before it got too late.”
The short, silent drive to the ferry dock turned out to be the longest ride of my life. Even if I’d been able to speak, Asher had shut down. It seemed to be a running theme with me to hurt the people I cared about most. He drove the Audi into the hollow belly of the ferry, set the parking brake, and left the car, striding away without another look. I trailed after him between the rows of mostly empty vehicles to the opposite end of the boat facing the retreating island. He stood framed against the cavernous opening with his hands on his hips and only a long net between him and the frothing waves. He muttered to himself in yet another unfamiliar language. He heard me approaching and whipped around.
“Remy, I’m sorry.” He sounded frustrated. “I shouldn’t have said anything. I knew you didn’t feel the same way, but I—”
Words still wouldn’t form, so I dropped my guard and hoped he’d find what he sought in my mind. When my walls lowered, he stopped speaking with a bleak expression that said it all. My feelings were a mystery to him, one he couldn’t solve by reaching into my head.
He didn’t back away when I stepped close and tangled my hands in the collar of his coat, using the material to tug his face down to mine. Some of the darkness left his tortured eyes to be replaced by surprise when he heard my intent seconds before I pressed my lips to his.
Asher’s response was slow in coming, and I knew I’d shocked him. When I pulled away, his hands spread across my back to press me close. Against my cheek, he whispered, “Don’t go.”
The familiar plea loosened the knot of fear inside me. I wasn’t going anywhere because there was nowhere in the world I’d rather be than with him.
Asher’s arms tightened around me and his guard dropped. “You’re everything to me,” he said.
I feel the same, Asher.
The words popped into my head, and I knew they were true. I’d tried not to care about him, but it had been a futile effort. I remembered him telling me that the freckle at the right-hand corner of my mouth fascinated him, how that hidden kiss taunted him. My lips curved in a smile when he kissed that spot.
Neither of us was prepared for the crippling pain when my body began to heal his.
C
HAPTER
T
WENTY
HAPTER
T
WENTY
A
n electric current of energy exploded between us.
n electric current of energy exploded between us.
It reminded me of the night I’d nearly drowned and he’d used his power on me, stretching the tendrils of his energy throughout my limbs, weakening me while he grew stronger. Only this time my energy took over his body, and I couldn’t pull away. Against my will, my body worked to heal another. Except Asher wasn’t sick or injured. He was immortal.
Oh, Remy, you have the power to make them mortal again.
A memory of Anna’s voice played through my mind, and I realized what was happening. I had no way of knowing if the cure meant instant death for him. I tried to pull away and sensed him doing the same, but we both failed. I’d lost control of my power and put Asher in danger. Somehow I needed to break the connection between us, to force my body to stop its course before it killed him. An idea formed, born out of desperation. If I could picture bones mending, then maybe . . .
Asher knew what I would do before the thought fully formed. He fought back, trying to put his guard up in a desperate attempt to protect me. “Remy, no!”
With a silent lament for the pain to come, I gathered the heat and the energy and pictured a perfect, healthy rib
snapping
in a clean break. We stumbled away from each other as my body released him, and green sparks sizzled from my skin to his.
snapping
in a clean break. We stumbled away from each other as my body released him, and green sparks sizzled from my skin to his.
“Remy!” The panic in his voice cut through the buzzing in my ears.
Our walls went up, and I hunched over to try to inhale a breath that didn’t feel like it shredded my insides. Asher kept his distance, but his eyes burned with the ferocious desire to protect. When he stepped toward me, I knew he was willing to chance getting killed to help me.
“No! Stay back!”
He froze as if my frantic words sliced into him. In a softer tone, I explained between gasps. “Asher, it’s me. My powers took over and started to work on you. Just give me a minute, and keep your guard up.”
Closing my eyes, I concentrated on healing the rib I’d snapped. Nothing happened. I’d never caused an injury to myself like this, but it seemed I’d shorted out my ability to heal myself. Gasping in pain, I focused on Asher, while taking small, shallow breaths.
Worried eyes met mine, and his hands formed fists at his sides. “What happened?”
“You don’t know? You didn’t hear my thoughts?”
“No.”
“It’s true, Asher, what Anna said. I think my body tried to cure you.”
He frowned. “Are you okay?”
Air flowed less freely with each passing second, and my chest hurt like hell. Something was wrong. It hadn’t felt like this when my ribs had broken before. My face must have revealed my rising alarm because Asher stepped forward, ignoring my raised hand.
His deep voice sounded deadly calm. “Remy? I’m going to touch you. Our guard is up so we should be okay. The boat is docking, and I need to get you back to the car before people start asking questions. Can you walk?”
Nothing could have made me move at that moment but fear of discovery. We had to go, and I couldn’t make it to the car on my own. I gave a brief nod, and he slid his arm around me to offer support. When my feet wouldn’t go any farther, Asher picked me up and carried me the last ten feet. Somehow he managed to open the car door without putting me down and laid me across the backseat. I heard the car starting and Asher’s curse when he had to wait on the cars in front of him to disembark.
Then the pain swept me away until the car stopped and Asher’s face appeared upside-down above mine. He leaned in the door opening behind me, placed his head on my chest, and listened for a moment before pulling back. “Remy, do you trust me?”
My answer came out on a wheeze. “Yes.”
“I think you punctured a lung when you broke your rib, and your lung is filling with fluid. I need you to let me help you.” In a steady voice, he instructed me to lower my defenses, and I shook my head. “Trust me.”
His solemn eyes promised everything would be okay. I let my guard down.
“Good. You’re going to feel my energy coming at you, filling you, but don’t panic. I want you to use it to heal yourself the same way you’d use your own. Do you understand?”
I nodded and wheezed, feeling cold. Asher’s mouth tightened into a white line, and he placed a warm palm on my forehead. The heat comforted me, and my eyes closed to concentrate on it, but Asher’s stern voice wouldn’t let me be.
“Remy, focus.”
A momentary blast of intense heat hit me before his energy unfurled and stretched through my body. I tried to remember what to focus on, but my chest hurt.
Right, my chest.
I gathered his energy as if it was my own, and the
humming
jump-started. His power felt intoxicating, different and exotic. This time, when I scanned my body, I discovered my left lung had been punctured by my broken rib. Able to picture the injury now, I used Asher’s energy to heal the wound. The bone reset with a sickening
crunch,
and the hole in my lung mended. Slowly, I imagined the pressure on my lung dissipating and the organ expanding within my chest. Considering the extent of the injury, I’d never healed an injury so fast and knew I had Asher’s power to thank for it.
Right, my chest.
I gathered his energy as if it was my own, and the
humming
jump-started. His power felt intoxicating, different and exotic. This time, when I scanned my body, I discovered my left lung had been punctured by my broken rib. Able to picture the injury now, I used Asher’s energy to heal the wound. The bone reset with a sickening
crunch,
and the hole in my lung mended. Slowly, I imagined the pressure on my lung dissipating and the organ expanding within my chest. Considering the extent of the injury, I’d never healed an injury so fast and knew I had Asher’s power to thank for it.
Long minutes later, I took a soothing breath, and it flowed with ease.
Asher’s hand fell away from my forehead, and I felt his sigh of relief when he rested his forehead on my shoulder, his energy fading from me. Tired and feverish, I noticed that an upside-down Asher looked as beautiful as a right-side-up one.
He ran his fingers through his tangled hair and gave me a weak smile. “Now, you’re just giddy. I can’t tell you how good it is to hear your thoughts again. You kind of disappeared there for a minute.”
You saved my life. Thank you.
Asher’s voice dropped to a hoarse whisper, and his eyes were fierce. “What are we doing? We have no idea what we’re playing at. We could’ve killed each other. You nearly killed yourself to protect me!”
I grimaced at the memory. “That wasn’t really my intention. My body kind of took over, and it seemed the best thing to do was distract it. This keeps getting better, you know? Apparently, I have a new ability to wreak havoc, in addition to healing its aftermath. Yea, me!” My weak attempt at humor fell flat, and Asher didn’t lose his freaked-out expression. “Why am I so hot? My skin feels like it’s on fire.”
Gentle fingers brushed across my cheek, and for once, his skin didn’t feel warmer than mine. “It’s a side effect of tapping into my power to heal yourself. It’ll fade in a little while. Can you sit up? I need to get us back on the road.”
With his help, I moved to the front passenger seat. My injuries were completely healed, but the long day had drained me. My head turned as if drawn by magnetic force to watch Asher’s profile in the shadowed sunlight as he drove.
“What was that?” I asked. “What did you do?”
His distant expression reminded me of when we’d first met. “What I’m supposed to. Helped you use my energy to heal yourself.”
My mother had said that was how it worked. Before the War. “But how? I thought you had to fight not to attack me?”
“Well, that’s not really a problem now, is it? Not when you’ve shorted out your power trying to save me.” A pulse beat in his temple, and his voice was laced with tension.
“It wasn’t your fault, Asher.”
He didn’t show any sign of having heard me, but I knew he listened.
“This one was all me. I lost control. Something happened—I don’t know . . . I did what I had to.”
His jaw worked, and his hands tightened on the steering wheel, the knuckles turning white. “I didn’t think. I saw you hurt and reacted. Your guard was down. What if I hadn’t been able to control myself? I could’ve killed you.”
I didn’t have to read his mind to know where this would end. No matter what I’d said, he blamed himself for what I’d done to protect him. He retreated from me to keep me safe. “I think I proved that I can protect myself.”
Asher shot a piercing look my way. “Why is it that every time you protect yourself, you end up hurt or almost dying?” he asked.
His anger surprised me. “You’re mad at me? Because I saved you?”
“You could’ve killed yourself to protect me, Remy!” Asher had never yelled at me, and it took me aback.
“So?”
My stubborn answer enraged him further. “So?” he repeated. I was glad when he switched to another language because I had a feeling he wasn’t saying anything I’d want to hear. He shot me a frustrated glance. “How can you possibly think I’d want you to sacrifice yourself to save me? As if there wasn’t enough danger, now I have to worry you’ll take a bullet for me.”
My arms crossed as his anger ignited my own. “As if, you jerk. You can take your own stupid bullet.”
“That’s all I’m asking. Promise me you won’t do that again. Swear it, Remy.”
I was frustrated, and my arms uncrossed. I had no idea what my body would have done to him today if I hadn’t interfered. Hell, I didn’t even know why my body had chosen today to go on the blink. What if I’d killed him? I wouldn’t be able to live with myself.
“I can’t promise you that.” If it came down to it, I’d break every bone in my body before I caused him harm. “What about you? Today, I was the dangerous one. We don’t know what would’ve happened if I hadn’t stopped myself. Will you promise to defend yourself the next time I lose control?”
“No!” He sounded as horrified as I did at the prospect of hurting him.
At a stalemate, we stared out the windshield until he reached into his coat pocket and tossed an object into my lap: his cell phone.
“Call Ben. Tell him we’ll be back in Blackwell Falls in thirty minutes so he doesn’t worry, and let him know I’m taking you to dinner. I need to show you something.”
His commanding tone allowed no room for argument. Normally, this irritated me, but he’d piqued my curiosity. Ben had no problem with Asher taking me to dinner if I arrived home by curfew. His happy tone as he asked about my surprises reminded me that today had started off perfectly. Now, Asher took the cell back from me in angry silence. I refused to apologize for protecting him.
He drove through town and parked at the cliff near where we’d had the bonfire a lifetime ago. For once, he didn’t open my car door but waited for me to follow him down the path to the waterfall. It had grown progressively colder as the sun began its descent in the sky, and I trailed after him through the deserted wilderness, feeling hesitant as shadows claimed the last of the light.
No longer frozen, the waterfall tumbled into a creek that had morphed into a small pond. Asher stopped when he reached a small incline by the waterfall, picked me up with an arm around my waist, and shot up the small slope in a dizzying blur of movement until we stood on the hill above the water. I was dropped back on my feet next to a bench made of the rough, angular pieces of a broken rock.
Asher’s open demonstration of speed and strength shocked me. I understood why the Protectors had won the War: The Healers would never have seen them coming.
Striding several steps away in the space of a heartbeat, Asher watched me and listened to my thoughts. Barren leafless trees surrounded us, while behind us and to the sides a slant of earth hid us from the view of anyone who ventured to the waterfall. In front of us, a twisted tree trunk framed the blue axis of ocean and sky. We were isolated in the growing darkness, and for some reason that fact made me nervous enough to raise my defenses.
“Finally, you show some sense.”
Asher’s voice resonated with anger and something more—despair. I could feel a chasm opening between us. My voice broke when I asked, “Why did you bring me here?”
His eyes looked almost black in the shadows. “Few people come here after sunset, and we needed a private place to talk.”
“About?”
“You. You seem to think you’re invincible because you have this ability to heal yourself. You haven’t grasped how dangerous Protectors are, how easily we could kill you. That’s my fault because my feelings clouded my judgment. I didn’t want you to be afraid of me, but it’s time I make you understand.”
Another test, I realized. “I already know what you can do with your energy. I’m not an idiot.”
He looked larger, his shoulders wider, when he stood with his feet braced apart and his hands loose at his side. The danger I sensed reminded me of my encounter with Gabe, and I grasped what Asher had been suppressing around me. “Healers didn’t lose the War because Protectors stole their energy. That was a lucky windfall for those of us who desired immortality,” he taunted, as if he included himself in that number.
He wanted to scare me, but I’d learned never to show fear. I stepped toward him, and Asher’s eyes narrowed in warning. “I don’t believe you. You already told me how you became immortal. It was an accident.”
“Accident or not, I killed one of your kind, Healer.” His voice sounded silky with threat and the hair on the back of my neck rose. “Or maybe it wasn’t an accident at all. Maybe I lied to get close to you, to feel human again.”
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