Toxic (8 page)

I stared at her for a long moment before huffing and sitting down. I didn’t fully believe her, not after all her crazy antics before.

She continued to spout apologies and regrets about everything she’d done, but I only half-listened until she stood and placed a hand on my shoulder.

“Look, I understand if you never want to see me again, but I’d really like for us to at least be able to be friends at some point. John is a great guy and he deserves someone who can make him happy. I know it won’t be me and I’ve come to terms with that. I’m actually dating this really sweet man right now. It’s long-distance, but it’s gone really well the last few months.” She removed her hand and stepped back. “Please, if you ever want to talk, about anything, call me.”

She set down a sheet of paper with her phone number on the bench next to me and walked away.

I watched her go in surprise. She seemed very different than the psychotic woman she had been the last time I’d seen her. I still didn’t trust her, but tucked the number into my purse anyway.

Talking to Mariah, or rather, listening to her, had helped me calm down and I pulled my phone out. I had a dozen missed calls. Most were from numbers I didn’t recognize, meaning they were likely from my new stalkers — I mean, church members. There were two from John though, and I dialed his number.

“Alix?” John answered on the first ring, worry obvious in his voice. “Where are you, Precious? Jennifer called and told me that you were escorted out by your boss and that you looked very upset.”

“I’m at some park,” I said, not caring to talk about it over the phone.

“Okay… What park?” he asked and I heard him shuffling things around on his end of the line.

“I don’t know. Look, I’m fine. I’m just going to go home and we can talk when you get there,” I told him. I didn’t much feel up to rehashing it all. What I really wanted to do was fall into bed and stay there for a few days.

“I’d feel better if you’d tell me where you are so I can come get you,” John said.

“I already told you I don’t know where I am. It's just easier if I get a cab and have them take me to the house.” I sighed tiredly. “Just finish with your clients and I’ll see you tonight. I love you.”

I hung up before he could respond. Putting my phone on silent, I leaned back and looked up at the sky. Time passed as I sat there watching the clouds float overhead until my neck hurt and I got up from the bench.

Luckily, I was able to catch a cab outside a nearby restaurant as they dropped off a couple. I slid into the back and gave him the address before closing my eyes and rubbing my temples with my fingers. My head was starting to ache and bed was sounding even better.

When the car pulled up, I paid the driver and got out. Before I could even reach the front door, it opened and John stepped out. He looked worried. His tie was pulled down, his hair a mess and a frown marred his beautiful face.

“Hi,” I said meekly as we got close.

“Hi,” he whispered, pulling me into his arms in a tight hug.

“I’m okay.” I pulled on his shoulder until he finally released me.

He stared into my eyes for a long time before finally nodding once.

“Let’s go inside,” he said, weaving his fingers with mine and leading me through the door.

Chapter Eight

~John~

Every muscle in my body immediately relaxed when I drew Alix into my arms as we sat on the couch. Having her disappear on me had made me nearly go out of my mind. Part of me was happy that now the stress of her job would be gone, but it opened a whole other set of issues we’d have to work our way through. However, the only thing on my mind was comforting her and letting it sink in that she was okay and home with me.

Holding her close, I breathed in her scent as much as I could without letting her know. I’d never admitted that I’d stalked her before we started seeing each other and I didn’t think it was the time, or that it would ever be the time, to let her know such a thing. Even though she lived with me and was my fiancée, I still couldn’t release the soul-deep need I had to have her as close to me as possible. I had to know everything about her.

I didn’t think about her as an addiction anymore, but then again I didn’t have to peek in windows or stalk her to find out all the details of her life. She willingly shared them with me. I didn’t see it as a problem since I didn’t do strange things like smell her underwear or wear her clothes, both of which I’d had to counsel men through in the past. It was about finding someone who could handle being in my life and all that came with it.

From the first time I laid eyes on Alix, I knew she was the one for me. I wasn’t lying when I said I couldn’t survive without her. There was little doubt in my mind that I would completely lose it if she tried to leave me. Not in a way that I would try to stop her, if that’s what she truly wanted, but it would crush me. The thought alone made my eyes burn.

I shook my head to clear away the terrifying idea of anything like that ever happening. For some reason my emotions were on the surface when it came to her lately and I didn’t know how to handle it.

When she’d accepted my naked proposal, I’d cried. Like a little kid. How pathetic was that? I couldn’t hold back the tears though. It was a moment I’d remember for the rest of my life. By far the best moment in all my time on Earth.

“John?” Alix’s voice brought me back to the present. From the tone of her voice it wasn’t the first time she’d said it either.

“Yes, Precious?” I asked, looking down to meet her gaze.

“Can we not talk about it today? I just want to sit and watch television or a movie with you and pretend it’s just a day that we both happen to have off.” She looked away, showing me just how tenuous her grip was on her own emotions.

“Absolutely,” I said, planting a kiss on her forehead. “Would you like popcorn and hot chocolate to go with the feature this evening, miss?”

She gave me a wobbly smile and nodded.

After another tender kiss on her forehead, I got up to retrieve her favorite snacks.

“Pick something to watch,” I called out from the kitchen.

The sound of buzzing came from her purse on the counter while I waited for the microwave to finish. I fished her phone out and felt my blood pressure sky-rocket when I saw it was an unknown number. I slipped out the back door before hitting the answer button.

“Hello?” I said in a sharp tone.

“Yes, this is Betty from…” a soft, feminine voice started.

“Are you calling from a church of any kind?” I cut her off.

“Why, yes, I am calling as part of…”

“Listen here,” I interrupted. “You will stop calling my fiancée. She’s asked repeatedly. Now I’m telling you that this will stop or I will file harassment charges.”

I was trying to keep a lid on my temper, but after the way the day had gone, it was a struggle. I know the words came out bitter and biting and that’s exactly how they were meant. Enough was enough.

“But…” she tried again.

“No. The next time you or anyone from your church calls I will be going down to the police station and filing charges. Do you understand me?”

“Yes. I’m sorry to have upset you so much…”

“You haven’t upset me. You’ve made my fiancée cry for the last time. She didn’t ask for you to call her nor is she doing anything that she needs to be saved or redeemed from or anything like that,” I snarled. “Go bother someone who might actually care.”

I hung up and tucked the phone into my pocket before bracing my hands on the railing around the back porch. Dropping my head down, I took a few deep breaths, trying to calm down so I could go and sit with Alix. It was time for me to be the dom she needed. I’d let the shit go for too long because she wanted to be a strong, independent-woman. She could be strong and independent when she was ready to be, but for now it was my turn to take over until things settled down.

After a final long exhale, I returned to the kitchen and grabbed the rapidly-cooling hot chocolate and popcorn before taking them to the living room.

Alix had curled in a ball, her head on the arm of the couch and fallen asleep.

I set the snacks on the coffee table. Picking up the remote, I turned the television off, then scooped her up from the couch. I carried her to the bedroom and set her on the bed. Carefully, I removed her shoes, then her clothes, leaving on her stockings, garter belt and undergarments then I backed out of the room.

Returning to the living room, I took the popcorn to the trash and the mug to the sink to clean out later. Then I went to my office and went about working on putting together the most perfect proposal for her while she napped. I couldn’t simply take her out to dinner and pop the question. No, it had to be something special while being something she wouldn’t see coming even though she knew I would be asking again at some point.

A few hours had passed before Alix appeared in my doorway. I was in the middle of an online counseling session I’d picked up as a favor for one of the other counselors. Seeing her there looking sleep-tousled with a drowsy smile on her face, I wanted to close the computer down and take her back to bed for something other than sleeping, but couldn’t.

“Hey, Precious,” I said, standing and moving around the desk to kiss her.

“What are you doing?” she asked, glancing back at the laptop I had open. Even though she’d been resting, she still looked exhausted. The vibrancy of her personality was gone.

“Just working. I’ll be done probably in about thirty minutes or so. Sorry.” I wrapped my arms around her hips and pulled her against me. “Then I plan to take you back to bed and make you feel all better.”

“It’s okay. I’m just going to find something to eat,” she said softly, brushing my cheek with her thumb before pulling away.

I stared after her for a long moment before returning to my computer. I’d have to make an excuse as to why I’d been gone so long, but it was killing me to see that my beautiful, bright woman had been broken into this sad, quiet shell of a person.

After making it through the last of the session, I closed the computer and went to see where Alix had gone off to. I found her slouched at the kitchen table with a mug in one hand and an untouched sandwich on a plate in front of her. She was staring at the wall.

“Precious?” I asked. My heart hurt knowing that she was so devastated at the loss of her job. Since she hadn’t talked to me about it, I didn’t know exactly what had happened, but I wouldn’t force the subject.  She would open up to me when she was ready to.

She turned her head to look at me; a sad smile pulled at her lips, but I knew she was only attempting it for my benefit.

“Let’s go to bed,” I said while tugging the chair out from the table. I turned it, clamped both her shoulders and forced her to her feet before scooping her into my arms.

Once I got to the room, I put her on the bed and realized she was still in only her underwear. Apparently, she wasn’t the only one with a lot on her mind since that was the only way I hadn’t noticed her attire before. I trailed my palms down over her chest, stomach and thighs until I could unhook her garter belt from her stockings, then rolled them down one leg at a time. One item after another, I stripped her until she was bare before me, then did the same to myself.

As I moved toward our armoire filled with toys, I smiled because I had an excellent idea come to me. After gathering the items I needed, I walked back to the bedside with them behind my back so Alix couldn’t see them.

“Precious, since you are out of sorts this evening, I am going to help you get back into your mind. I want you to take this time to remember the past and all the things that have happened, but don’t dwell on them. Simply remember how strong you’ve been in the past and keep that in your head and heart. Remember that numerous unexpected things have come and gone and all of it has led you to me so that I can take care of you. I’m not going anywhere, no matter what happens, and you need to remember that foremost. Soon you will be my wife and tied to my life in every way possible. Now, please, sit up so we can begin.”

She pushed up while keeping her eyes on mine until I handed her the silken strap I had used numerous times to blindfold her.

“Put it on,” I instructed her. While I enjoyed putting it on her myself, I had other objects in my hands for the time being.

Once she put the cloth on, I stepped away to turn the bedside lamp on and the room lights off for better lighting. Setting two of the items on the nightstand, I held the long, soft ostrich feather out.

Trailing just the tip of the feather over her ivory skin, I let it tickle her sensitive spots before doing it once more. I made sure to cover every inch of her with it.

Just from the light contact, she was writhing on the bed in anticipation. She knew there was more to come.

“Hands above your head,” I instructed and she moved them up.

Setting aside the feather, I opened a drawer on the bedside table and retrieved leather cuffs, then straddled her chest. My fingers drifted up her under arms, over the inside of her elbow and up her forearm until I snagged one wrist between them. I pulled her arm straight out before wrapping the leather around it. With a twist of my hand, I had the restraint in place. I draped the chain around one of the bedposts before dropping my fingers back to her opposite shoulder to repeat the process.

Once she was held in place, I sat back so my ass rested against her chest. Wrapping a hand around the base of my cock, I rubbed the tip of it all over her face, only avoiding where the blindfold was. When it brushed against her lips, she flicked her tongue out and I slapped her with my cock in retribution.

“I didn’t say you could touch my dick,” I reprimanded her before bringing my stiff length down to slide over her closed mouth. Precome leaked from the tip and I smeared it into her lips before sliding along her cheeks again. Scooting back on the bed slightly, I stopped when I sat on her upper abdomen. Using my hands, I cupped her breasts and pushed them together so I had a nice, warm, soft channel to push my cock through. My thumbs brushed over her nipples as I thrust my dick in and out of her tits.

After a dozen or so thrusts, I moved off her completely and grabbed one of the toys I’d gotten out earlier. I flicked a finger over the sharply-spiked tips of the Wartenberg wheel. It was a toy I hadn’t brought out for some time. Not since before Alix had moved in with me.

I moved to stand at the foot of the bed and gently ran the twelve sharp points over the sole of her foot, which made her squirm, but she didn’t make a noise.

“Spread your legs,” I said, and she opened them for me.

She was already damp and I licked my bottom lip in anticipation as my cock leaked appreciatively at the sight.

I rolled the wheel up the inside of her calf, then down her thigh with barely any pressure.

“Oh!” Alix gasped and tightened her muscles, telling me she was struggling to stay still.

I smiled wickedly and moved to the other leg to repeat the soft, slow pricks against her sensitive flesh. Once I got to the top of her thigh, I skipped over the crease and all of her delicious parts. She wasn’t ready for that yet. Instead, I knelt between her spread legs and wheeled up her abdomen, stopping just short of her breasts. Crossing from one side to the other, I tracked back down until I came to her hip bone, then I went straight up the center, all the way up until I was forced to lean forward on one hand. I traced just below her collarbone, only to curve down and up onto a breast.

Alix moaned and gasped occasionally while flexing and releasing her muscles, but she managed to stay completely still otherwise until I ran the sharp tips over her hardened nipple.

“Sir!” she yelled and pushed her head back into the pillow.

Moving along the underside of her breast with almost no pressure at all, I made my way back up to the other collarbone to repeat the process on her other breast. Only here, I used more pressure when the wheel climbed the hill of her breast, then slowed until the wheel dug in deeper and was more biting than it would’ve been if it was moving quickly.

Alix let out a long moan as the tips sank into her pretty pink nipple, leaving a path of tiny imprints in its wake.

Lowering the Wartenberg wheel, I quietly set it on the mattress next to her and reached out for the final toy. I managed to grab it without jostling Alix or the bed so she jumped when the leather tip of the crop bit into her thigh.

Sitting back on my knees, I used the edge of the crop to roam over her in a random pattern before bringing it down on her breasts and thighs without warning. While normally I adored seeing Alix’s skin red from my hand, I was more interested in the sensitivity brought on by the Wartenberg wheel, so I only placed half a dozen or so blows before tossing it off the bed and retrieving the discarded toy.